Monday, August 31, 2009

Weird habit

I have a strange habit. Or maybe it's more of an OCD than a habit, actually...

I subscribe to several magazines and every few months I take the stack and go through the book review sections of each of them. I re-read each review (because I know I read it the first time I got it in the mail) and if it sounds like something I want to read, I highlight the review. Then I rip it out of the magazine, make a file folder of the pages and go to the library and check out everything I marked.

And I go so far to order the book via Inter Library Loan if the library doesn't have the book- then I proceed to read them all as they roll in. And if the library can't get a book via ILL then I buy it on Amazon...

I refuse to throw the magazines away or let anyone else read them or loan them out until I've gone through my review process.

Ummmmm, I'm not really that weird, am I?

Wondering if there's a support group,

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Divine Ms. K turns 1

Today my niece celebrated her first birthday even though she officially won't be 1 year old until Thursday! Being a weekend and all, the entire fam-damily could get together for her Winnie The Pooh themed party.

She was spoiled to death by all her aunts, uncles and grandparents, as well as her favorite Auntie Mags.

She was bored with opening presents after the first one, sat in the boxes and tried to eat the tissue paper. BUT she loved eating her cake and ice cream, and smiled for everyone!

I always said great people are born in September- Ms. K and me!

Wishing the baby a happy day,
Auntie Maggie

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Trooper update

As far as when this post was written, all is well. I say this because he find dating stressful. I also say this because the other day he sent me a text message that "we have to talk." now everyone and their brother (and sister for that matter) knows "we have to talk" is relationship speak for "this is over" so I was slightly freaked out. All he told me was he was glad I was trying to be patient with him. I think all men need to know some basic rules.

1) do not say "we need to talk" unless you're ending it because that's what women think is going to happen anyway

2) do not EVER under any circumstances give a woman a piece of jewelry in a box that looks like it could be THE RING when it's not THE RING.

3) The man should have to kill the bug. It's their job.

Okay, I digress... back to the update. Trooper's recovering nicely from his back surgery but going stark raving stir crazy since he can't lift anything heavier than a coffee cup or drive or work or sit longer than 20 minutes, among other things.

This is a man who works on his house to relax. Who chops wood to relax. Who restores antique tractors to relax. Who cuts his grass to relax. And he's told to sit around and do nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Yeah, he's a little bit... antsy, shall we say?

And as for he and me (bad grammar but I wanted the rhyme), he's coming to Northern Civilization for the weekend of Sept. 11-13!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy dancing all over the dang place, I'll have you know. Can't wait to see him. The thought of seeing him makes my toes curl and I get a stupid smile on my face and fluttering in my tummy and I'm just giggling to myself as I type these words... oh dear!

So far so good, so cross your fingers. We all know I'm an expert at fucking these things up... but this time I want to do it right so... big deep breaths, relax, be cool...

Playin' for keeps,

Friday, August 28, 2009

Drama with the BMV- part II (Damn good day!)

From the post title you might've guessed it wasn't a complete disaster at the BMV.

I went to the BMV and got some forms. Then I went to a local garage and a police officer met me there. The car got hoisted onto the lift and some numbers were taken off the motor and the transmission, as well as the VIN number. The officer signed all the forms. I took a picture of my car and printed it out.

Then I went back to the BMV where they had me sign an affidavit that the car is fixed and works. And it was done years ago and that the receipts were lost and that the mechanic is dead.

I now had an amended title.

Then I paid 2 years of excise tax and a plate fee. I produced a valid Civilization ID and my insurance card. I wrote a check.

And I have plates. Oh. My. Goddess. Finally. Whew. $139.05 and 2 visits with police officers and 4 trips to the BMV is all it took. What a fucking messy nightmare but it's done and over with.

Funny little aside to this tale: I had to have the police officer sign the form and when I went to do it the first time, the guy copied my info down wrong. He runs it through the police computer and nothing comes up. So he thinks I've stolen the car or plates or whatever and runs me through the third degree. He's a real bastard actually. I'm about to freak out because I have no idea what's going to happen. I thought I was going to be arrested for Grand Theft Auto (you can be for damn sure Trooper's phone would be ringing with me crying hysterically. Now, wouldn't that be a lovely way to kick off a relationship? Sheesh!) Come to find out, the police officer wrote down the numbers wrong! And he didn't apologize. What a prick.

And when I told Trooper about my visit with the Cop from Hell, he told me there were other ways to verify the car was mine that Bad Cop could've done. See why it's helpful to seriously be in like a cop? I just *crush* him! He's one of the good ones! (I'll let ya'll figure out a good one what...!)

But Cop from Hell's form wasn't valid because I needed the info from the motor so I had to get a whole new police officer to fill out a whole new form and she was very nice and kinda cool. So Ha!

So, the long and the short of it-- I have a legally plated car. Until April 2010. Now I need a drink. (Yeah I totally catch the irony there...)

Road ready,

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Drama with the BMV- part I

I bought my car in 2006 from a private individual and I knew it had been wrecked and fixed. I'm still making payments on the car to this woman, who is known to be a bitch. But I needed a car, she and her hubby had one and I could afford the payments.

When I bought the car from them, we put my name and theirs on the title, which she held since I was paying for it- makes sense to me. I also knew it was wrecked and fixed, therefore it has a "salvage title" according to the BMV.

The bitchy woman was a pain in the ass when I was trying to plate my car when I lived in the Wild West. Finally that that state just issued me an emergency title that was good for one year and if she wouldn't send the title to the county the next year, the car would have to sit. (She didn't want to mail it to the Wild West because I guess she thought they would give it to me rather than mail it back.)

Now I'm here in Civilization and need to plate my car. So I went to the BMV who said I had to send a form to the Bitchy woman and have her send the title to them. I told them what happened last time and they thought maybe it was worth the try since it didn't have to leave the state. I thought it was worth a shot. But as the BMV lady dug a little deeper in the computer she found a copy of the title and thought I might not have to have the real thing. She starts clicking away and is positive and enthusiastic about me being titled and plated today.

Until the screen turns red and blanks out and then gives a huge "warning" message, red alert, Code Blue- we were at a halt and there was no plating to be done. Because somewhere along the way, the proper papers were never given to the BMV that support the salvage title. And the system red flagged it and now... well, let's say the choices aren't pretty at this point. I can

1) call the Bitchy woman and get copies of all the receipts that show the repair work was done. And a picture of the car after it was wrecked before it was fixed. And a letter from the mechanic who fixed it, stating it's road safe. And then I need to have a police officer sign a BMV form stating that the VIN number is accurate.

Now, option 1...yeah- so all the repair work was done about 4 years ago!!! Who in the world would have copies of the repair receipts- and I would have to call the Bitchy woman to see if she has the receipts. And the mechanic who did the work is DEAD now. So, option 1 has lots of problems.

2) I can NOT drive my car and let it sit and not ever be plated because according to the paperwork, my car is a piece of junk and can't be driven, so there it would have to sit. Forever.

Now, option 2... I need my car. Hello?!? And it's not a piece of junk. The only thing wrong is some discolored paint on a door and the power lock on the driver side doesn't work. I've driven that car across the country and back. I've been all over the Midwest and my home state. I've put over 50,000 miles on the car myself and it's all GOOD! My car is NOT junk!

I have to go back to the BMV tomorrow morning. Apparently they have an option 3.

I'm tired,

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Oh shit!

You know how I said that Sperm Donor called and was nice to me and everything? And I was being my bitchy, sarcastic self in a post?

Well.... he went to the doctor yesterday, who sent him to the local ER, which sent him to Northern Civilization to the "BIG" hospital via an ambulance. He had some sort of condition with fluid where it wasn't supposed to be. It was drained and stuff. It was pretty serious. I guess he's still in the hospital, in ICU and will be home in a few days.

This is all I know since I was getting info from Mac who was upset and still mad at me.

And I never even got out the voodoo doll. I swear.

Shit, I usually try to only throw out good karma but after today's post and this... it's like breaking 20 mirrors or something. I mean, seriously, who hasn't never said a bad word about an ex? Does this mean my karma's gonna run over my dogma? Have I really pissed off the Gods?


Maybe I should practice voodoo...

... to keep the peace a-flowing.

My ex- husband was nice to me last night. Which is scary. And hasn't happened since 1996. Actually that's when I got divorced so he probably wasn't even nice then. Oh hell, let's be honest here, that fucking bastard sperm donor was never nice. Fucker.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I want to say he was nice to me on the phone. Mac was being a little jerk the other night and because he's smart and witty when he gets mad, he goes for the jugular. And that's what he did to me the other night.

And Mac when home and told his dad what he said and apparently, Sperm Donor lit into Mac and told him he was way out of line.

And SD called me to tell me he told Mac he was out of line. And he also told me how much he admired me for working three jobs. He also said we should have the same line of defense in working with Mac's attitude.

I'm looking over my shoulder, waiting for the hit man to finish the job. Or the axe to fall. Or for lightening to strike. Or to see if he drops dead. Of if the end of the world is going to happen NOW rather than 2012.

He defended me and complimented me all at the same time. I'm scared and worried.

I think I'm going to practice voodoo to protect me from what could be coming next. A voodoo doll can't hurt, right?

When the planets are aligned, weird things happen,

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm not an animal rights activist but...

While I'm not a huge lover of all things animals, I don't want to see animals hurt. I would have a horse in a minute if I was allowed. And if I lived alone again I might even have a dog. And I do eat meat and I have leather shoes. So.... be that as it may but I still am not hurtful to animals. What I do not understand is a hater of animals.

There's a dude in my hometown that was arrested for animal cruelty for drowning a litter of kittens. Someone saw him do it and reported it. And he was arrested. I hope he is prosecuted within every inch of what the law says from jail time to fines to everything.

These weren't rabid wild cats that were killing small children and other animals and they weren't a menace or danger to society. He just didn't want anymore cats pooping in his yard or flower beds. And while I agree that can be frustrating, killing them is waaaaaay overboard, in my opinion. We have a wonderful animal shelter here which will give people cages to catch unwanted critters without harm. The shelter will bring the cages to your house as well as pick them up when you catch something, whether it be cat, raccoon or dog.

When I hear things like this I feel sick. He also owns a business here and I hope as the word gets out to what he did that everyone boycotts his place. What a jerk. There are not ever words strong enough to describe a lowlife scumbag who hurts poor innocent creatures like that.


Monday, August 24, 2009


Even though I'm 37 years old and should really know better for a whole host of other reasons, I'm all happy and twinkly excited about this!

I got another blog award! thank you so much to Eejit, the blogger from Northern Ireland who has a cool photo blog called (Not Quite) A Daily Photo from Colraine. Thank you so much for this honour! I appreciate it so much! Kisses and Hugs and Cosmos to all!

And I pass this award on to Bragger at Bragger. This is a woman I admire and who inspires me. She is brilliant and funny, a fabulous writer, a biker, she's jumped outta planes, she survived marriage, she has an all grown up daughter in the military, she teaches, she has a PhD. This woman KICKS ASS as does her blog- where I learned all this cool stuff about her through her wonderfully creative, usually hilarious, sometimes poignant posts. Go read her. Right now. So I bestow this Golden Blog Award to the soon to be infamous Bragger! (I so want to meet her in person!)

That's why the lady is a tramp

Many years ago when I was dumb and stupid, before I was older and stupid, I dated a guy who was a an alcoholic. And a drug addict. And unemployed because he was a poet. Oh yeah, baby, could I pick 'em!

Well, we dated off and on for awhile. We usually went to a nice bar that was down the street from this Sam's house. It was a nice bar actually, and I got to know the owner as well. They had great food, a good jukebox and free pool tables. It was a block away so we could walk and both of us could drink and I wasn't always stuck being the DD. This bar was located about 20 minutes from MY house, but it was easy to get to if I wanted.

The owner usually was bar tending every night and he knew Sam and grew to know me, of course.

One day I decided I didn't want to see Sam anymore and I broke it off. I wanted to date someone else and I was tired of his drunken, alcoholic behaviors. Sam, of course, focused on the fact that I wanted to date other people rather than he was in fact an unemployed, drug addict alcoholic. It was ugly but it was what it was. So that night around 2 am my phone rang. It was during the week and I had to go to work the next morning. But nevertheless my phone rings at 2 am.

I was shocked when on the other end of the phone was the bar owner. He asked me if I could please come and get Sam. I told him we broke up and the bar owner said he knew that, everyone in the bar knew it and he would explain in detail when I got there. He said if I didn't get Sam he was going to call the police and have him arrested. Either that or a group of guys were going to beat the ever loving shit outta him. Oh boy.

I drive the 20 minutes to the bar and walk in, still wearing my flannel pj pants and a t-shirt, and hear the sound of Frank Sinatra singing "That's why the lady is a tramp." And Sam is standing on the middle of one of the pool tables, singing into a pool cue at full volume.

Apparently, Sam, being heartbroken over our break up, went to the bar and proceeded to get smashed. And fed the jukebox. And played that SAME Sinatra tune over and over and over. 22 times in a row. The bar owner unplugged the jukebox but Sam would wait until he was busy waiting on customers and run back over and plug it back in. And it would start back up with the Sinatra song.

I'm sorry, but I so had the giggles.

The bar owner helps me man handle him off the bar and Sam does leave with me. He walks home while I drive- of course he doesn't want to get into the car with the treacherous tramp. I drive along side him, and he SINGS the infamous Sinatra tune at the top of his lungs all the way down the street. I finally persuade him into his house, hide his car keys and his shoes. Then I leave.

When I get home, my answering machine is blinking that I have 6 missed messages. It was Sam singing "Lady is a Tramp" over and over and over again.

I can't believe I'm still a Sinatra fan. But every time I hear that song, I have to laugh.

The trampy lady,

Sunday, August 23, 2009

That's my boy!

Mac: We should adopt a kid, mom.
Me: Hell no. There's no adopting or giving birth around here. No more kids!
Mac: Aw gee mom, think of all the poor, hungry, little faces of the kids at the orphanairium.

Meme of the week

1. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Why would I need to BELIEVE in that? Ya either see it, or ya don't. Duh.

2. If you could have one dream come true, what would it be?
Unlimited cash

3. Do you believe in eternal love?

4. What feeling do you love most?
When I feel happy and satisfied

5. What feeling do you hate the most?
Frustration, the inability to control ANYTHING

6. Do you cherish every single friendship you have?

7. Do you believe in God?
Nope, not at all

8. Who cares for you most?
My family

9. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My family

10. What emotion do you like to show?
Happiness and my silly side- usually at the same time

11. If you have something troubling you, what do you do?
usually I do 1 of 2 extremes: either I talk it to death with someone I care about or I don't say a word and keep it inside

12. Whom do you admire most?
My dad

13. Whom did you last chat with in a chat room?
I don’t participate in chat rooms”

14. What kind of person do you think the one you stole this meme from is?
Quirky, very intelligent and humorous

15. What color do dye your hair?
Its natural color- a brownish red

16. Why are you doing this meme?
Because I don't have the mental energy to write something real right now

17. What do you do when you’re moody?
Unfortunately, I usually turn to food for comfort, or I sleep. Of late, I've also gone into hiding and go off by myself

18. At which age do you wish to or did you, get married?
I was 19. In case anyone cares, I was divorced when I was 24.

19. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
Spend it with my loved ones

20. Who is the person you trust the most?

21. Last time you smiled?

22. What are you listening to right now?
The Verizon Wireless Operator

23. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?

24. Are you talking to someone while doing this?
The Verizon Wireless Operator

25. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Ummmmmmmmm- open. Who walks around with their eyes closed?

26. Is there a quote by which you live?
“If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me."- Mae West

27. Do you want someone you cannot have?

28. Who always makes you laugh?

no one always makes me laugh

29. What was the worst idea you’ve had this week?
Paying my Verizon Wireless bill online

30. Do you speak another language other than English?

31. You are at the store when suddenly 2 men walk in with guns and rob the place. Are you the hero, quiet & follow the rules type, or try to make a run for it?
Whatever it takes to stay alive — and not piss anyone off

32. Do you like Twizzlers?

33. Are you a YouTube watcher?

34. When an auto glass store calls and asks if you have a chip or crack in your windshield, what do you tell them?
Yes, because there is a crack in my windshield

35. What is the age difference between you and your father?
It's 27 years

36. Have you ever tried to find the end of a rainbow?

37. Camping – recreational vehicle or tent?
No camping, not never- I hate camping. HATE, HATE, HATE it!

38. Have you ever had to call 9-1-1?

39. Whose is your favorite blog to visit?
I have several so to name only a few (and even though they aren't all here, see my blog roll for more favs!)! Bragger, Prodigal Tourist, Rose Tea Garden, Tense Teacher

40. How long do you think you could live locked in your house on the food that you have on hand right now?
A week or 2, though we don't have any bread but we have the stuff to make bread so I think it would be okay...

41. Pepper – shaker or grinder?

42. What state is 2 states west of you?
Iowa (sort of)

43. What color do you believe you look best in?
Black and various pink shades

"Broken" by Lifehouse


The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Depression according to Charlie Brown


That "word" describes my week" suck-tacular. This seems to be the week from hell.

Verizon Wireless made a mistake on my cell phone and double dipped a payment from my checking account. And while the error was all theirs, they're refusing to give me my 80 bucks back because it's so close to the day a payment is due. What they don't realize is that I used my checking account before I learned of the error and now have insufficient fund charges to the tune of $28 each and NO MONEY. I'm soooo pissed. I've been on the phone with them and my bank daily trying to fix it. They suck and I hate them. I hate them so much I'm waiting until I finally get this mess sorted out, then I'm canceling my service, reporting them to the Better Business Bureau and writing letters to every person at Verizon Wireless chastising them for their suck-tacular business practices. I swear if I HAD money I would take out full page ads in newspapers across the country, raking them over the coals. They SUCK.

I still have no regular full time job so I also have no insurance. And it's time for my annual physical. And the annual renewal of the birth control prescription. Which sucks.

I've also worked an ass load of hours with all my jobs and I'm tired. Bone tired. Dog tired. Which is making me a real bitch. Which sucks.

I'd like to see Trooper and see where this goes but because of his surgery, that's on hiatus. Furthermore, he's so nervous about dating because of how hard and bad he was burned in previous relationships, he's now thinking this maybe isn't a good idea because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship. He's also afraid of getting hurt again- and while I can say I won't hurt him because I've waited so long to make sure this was a right thing to do, it doesn't matter when he's scared. And do I dare tell him I've wanted him for a long time but thought he would reject me? Oh hell. And there's nothing I can do about it. Which all sucks.

Mac's sperm donor stupidmutherfuckingasshat of a father has not taken him out to drive a single time. Not once. That kid was beyond excited about getting his permit and could NOT wait to show that stupid fucker he calls a dad his permit and to show him his driving skills. SD merely said, "cool." And hasn't taken him out to practice a single minute. Which sucks.

Things will start looking up, I'm sure.

Living suck-tacularly,

Friday, August 21, 2009

Come sail away

They say the sea is cold, but the sea contains
the hottest blood of all, and the wildest, the most urgent.
- the opening of "Whales Weep Not" by D.H. Lawrence

I've had a man tell me I'm like the sea. Maybe I am since I've always been attracted, drawn, mesmerized, almost obsessed, by the ocean. AlaskaSam told me the "sea is cold. She is a harsh mistress with violent temperament. But she sustains and brings life to the world. All life began in the oceans and eventually all life ends there as water sweeps across the land and flows to the sea carrying pieces of us. " There's an analogy there about us, or at least a long time ago that could've been true.

He also told me I'm the type of woman that give men a reason to go to war and it's my face that launches a thousand ships. Oh hella yeah, that man could give a compliment. And what is with the water theme?

But even before all those years ago when he said I was like the sea, I was attracted to the water. I've always been drawn to the ocean or even small bodies of water. I was torn between going to an Atlantic Ocean state or going to the Wild West. I got a job offer from the Wild West first so I went. But I've still been drawn to the water, which is sort of strange for being a kid born in a land locked state who never saw the ocean until she was 18 years old.

But there's something about the water, the ocean, the way it talks back to me. I can see my soul on the water. I know that sounds silly. The ocean talks back, holds a conversation, unlike the vast openness of the Wild West land. I yearn to be near water so much so that I often drive to points north of me, about 2.5 hours, to just walk the beaches of Lake Michigan. Yes, I know that's not the ocean but it's big enough to scratch my water itch.

I am dreaming of the ocean at night. I'm drawn with a magnetism I cannot describe. To say the sea is calling me is trite and insufficient.

A warm fire and a cold sea; symmetry. A soft bed, hard spray, gentle rhythm. The silence of a million years can be found in the swells and crest of the waves; a contradiction.

I need to find my center again. I need to find my inner peace. It's out there. Something is out there. Anything. Everything.

Every breath I take seems to match the swell and fall of the ocean. I think it's time for a road trip to the water.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Good deeds do not go unpunished

This is a pretty serious post. You have been warned. Who knows? Maybe it's in poor taste to post this but this is my spot to get stuff off my chest so here goes.

Three weeks before my mom died she asked her mom (my Grandma Shrew) for some money to pay a bill and promised to pay it back. It was a long story as to why but that doesn't matter anymore. I want to point out that my mom told Grandmother Shrew she would pay it back. I also want to say Grandmother and Grandfather Shrew (here on out, they're the Shrews) have MONEY. Big MONEY. Money out the ass. Money enough to loan $300 without feeling a pinch. Money enough to give that away to anyone monthly and never feel the pinch. Money enough that they bought a brand new Cadillac and paid in cash- C*A*S*H!! With the Shrews everything ALWAYS came with a price, and when I hit my teen years I figured that out. This is just another example that proves this.

The Shrews said no. And they said the consequences that came with not being able to pay the bill were her lesson to be learned.

Three weeks later my mom died.

We could say I've been pissed at the Shrews since then- and pissed would be putting it mildly. We then had a knock-down/ drag out fight on Christmas Eve the first holiday after mom died- just 3 months later. I stood up for myself as did Daddy-O. You gotta take a stand sometimes, right or wrong. Since then, I think I've talk to the Shrews a total of 5 times. At most. That fight was December 2006

Now let's fast forward to April 2009. Grandmother Shrew called me. She was crying and wanted to know why all this time I wouldn't talk to her. I didn't want to tell her about the mom/ money thing so I was vague. I don't know why. I was afraid she might lie and then it's her word against a dead woman's and then I would be REALLY pissed at her. So, one thing led to another and she and I were "yelling" at each other.

I'm sure you figured out there are other things Grandmother Shrew said and did to me and to my mother (and father) over the years that I'm not writing about here. There are and she did, but I just can't seem to write them here in black and white. This is personal enough. Assume the Shrews were not the best parents and grandparents in the world, and while that wasn't my cross to bear, they hurt my mother more than I can say and I become fiercely protective of those around me. I couldn't protect mom from them while she lived, but I know I can protect mom's memory. I stayed mad at the Shrews; right or wrong, it was my choice.

Now look back at last Monday- just a week ago. My Grandfather Shrew went to the hospital and he's dying. He's 83 and will never leave the hospital. He knows this. The man had 5 open heart surgeries among a whole host of other things; doctors never thought he would live this long.

Lately I've gotten several calls from folks who've encouraged me to be the one to make peace since he's dying- so I won't feel bad or guilt after he's gone. Makes sense, I guess. In ten years if I got over this, I can't make amends with a dead person, now can I? But was I ready to do it now? I swallowed my pride because the guy is dying. Maybe it's not about whether I was ready to make amends but do it because he's dying- and it would make him happy, according to these people who call, if I made up with both Shrews. I called my Grandmother Shrew on Friday night. I went to her house and we talked. I never told her about the being mad over money thing, because she is just a sad, old, sick lady so I kept that one detail to myself. I swallowed my pride and gave in to her, made peace with her. Sucked down my own feelings and did the right thing.

Grandmother Shrew and I made things right. It was the right thing for me to do. I thought. I guess.

Early Saturday morning, she calls and wants me to come to the hospital at 7 a.m. because Grandfather Shrew had a very bad night; he wanted to talk to me before "the end". So I went.

The long and the short of it is that he wanted to tell me he was very disappointed in how I lived my life, never settling down, not living like a good Christian. He said he was really disappointed that I never got my Masters degree and that I move around. He also said he was very hurt and upset over how I talked to my Grandmother Shrew in April so I was out of the will. Oh yeah, he said he still loved me but this was a way to teach me a lesson.

Wow. Dang.

I said okay. What what I supposed to say?

I stood up for myself but I swallowed my pride and tried to make it right. And I get disinherited.

And other than being hurt and stunned momentarily, I'm alright with it. I stood up for myself and am out. Everything will go to my brother, a few cousins, and their church, maybe their dog- who knows? Who cares? I can't be bought which makes me feel good. I said to Daddy-O months and months and months ago that my silence would probably get me disinherited and I was right. And I can live with it. Not that I have a choice, but rather than feeling bitter and angry, I'm good with the choices I made and the ending result if, I guess, no fault of my own, and I'm okay with it. I'd rather be poor and have my head up than have sucked up to them for money.

I will continue to try and keep lines of communication open with Grandmother Shrew after he's gone, but I'll be damned if I try and back pedal; after she and I talked on Friday I made a promise to her to stay in touch and I won't renege on that promise. I'll keep the story of the money to myself- being disinherited doesn't change the fact that she's just a sick, sad, old, mean lady. I won't suck up for money- I don't want it if it means I have to be a hypocrite. I won't be "bought" or controlled by money- what sad people they are to buy love, but then again, they've always done that. I think it's sad that on his death bed, that's the memory he wants to leave me with: that he thinks I'm a big, mean disappointment. Okay.

Weird the way things work, right?

I'm not trying to say I'm a great person. I'm not trying to say I deserve anything. I'm not saying I handled this entire thing the right way. But I did stand up what I believed in, and I tried to do the right thing, in my own way. I'm not any more rich nor poor than I was yesterday or last week or tomorrow. That's it.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

How could he NOT know?

A local school system where I subbed 100% (yes ALL) of my subbing hours last year had a teacher opening and I applied the day it was available, which was just barely a week before school started. I left my resume and a cover letter on the Principal's desk chair since he was out of the office and that's where the secretary told me to put it so he would be sure to see it.

I'll leave out the rest of the long details that go with it, and just say I didn't get the job. Here's how the phone call went to inform me of such- a week after I applied and 3 days before school started:

Principal: Hi, this is Mr. Principal from The School.
Me: Hi (or something like that)
Principal: I wanted to let you know the teaching position has already been filled. Gee, I didn't know you used to be an English teacher and actually had taught before. Sorry I missed that and didn't call you for an interview. But if you're interested I'll need someone to cover a maternity leave later in the year. How about I call you then to see if you're still interested...?
Me: blah, blah, blah

He didn't KNOW I taught before?!? I want to say that if he looked at my resume, right under my name and address, the first line says I was a TEACHER! If he read my cover letter, the second line says I was a TEACHER and is filled with all sorts of examples as to why I would be an asset to his school because of my TEACHING experience. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Is this the norm? People don't even read a resume? I was just flabbergasted and dumbstruck. Dang. I wasn't even worth reading, resume-wise. Is this why I'm unemployed? Because no one read resumes? Shit.

Bonk, bonk, bonk-- this is the sound of me beating my head against the wall...

Ready to give up,

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Super Trooper* (yeah, I've been dying to say that!)

So, Trooper had back surgery on Friday, after our date last Wednesday. He was in the hospital little more than 24 hours and came home Saturday afternoon. And since he has to be such a guy, a macho one at that, of course, he doesn't want help from anyone and insists he can take care of himself, even though the hospital recommended he go to a nursing home for a week rather than go home alone. That's how serious this surgery was, but nope, he went home and is toughing it out. He's such a tough guy that his best buddy came to visit him the day he got home from the hospital to "help him out" and they watched a Packers football game. Only guys would do that!

And after a text message where he relayed he was barely alive and felt like he was hit by a truck (I asked Semi or pickup and he said he would let me know later... I was just curious), he seems to be getting along fine. He also offered to send me a picture of the incision, but I declined. I don't "do" incisions or anything else that could be considered medically icky. And though he did recognize I would make a lousy nurse, he inquired as to my sponge bath giving skills... Hmmmmmmm.... such a guy!

He seems to be getting along really well actually, other than it hurts to sit down, but the incision is right above his butt in the center of his lower back- he'll need a nice tramp stamp tat to cover the scar, I tease him; he's semi- amused- I think. He was actually feeling well enough to go stroll around Menard's yesterday with his dad, who drove him. (Thank goodness his dad lives down the road a piece from him so Trooper does have someone checking on him regularly).

So he's out of commission for 4-6 weeks. And no, there's no talk of another date. Other than whipping text messages back and forth, there's been no talk at all, at least via the phone. And he is the only person I know who doesn't have the Internet at home. So... I have nothing to report as to whether there will be another date or not. We didn't talk about the date the other night (which had a weirdly awkward end to it anyway) nor mentioned a future one, so I'm not holding my breath. With his back incapacitating him for now he can't drive, and I live about 4-5 hours from him, so I would have to go there to see him, which I wouldn't mind but that would throw out all sorts of other weird scenarios to deal with (visiting his house, where would I stay, his kids, he doesn't want anyone seeing him 'sick'...). Oh well! As I say when it comes to me and the dating world- doesn't really matter!

Anyway, he's getting along fine and dandy! Good for him and I wish him well!

Well wisher,

* And it's spelled differently than the ABBA song but still!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Things that make you go "doh"

I drove by a CVS Pharmacy and on the scrolling marque was the following:

"Dose your medicine taste yucky!!!!!!!"

Please note both errors. No wonder kids fail English....

Can feet actually fall off the body from overuse?

Can they? Not because of gangrene or anything disease ridden, but just... plunk, plop, right off?

I stood on my poor old dogs on Saturday from noon until 11:30 pm; I sat for 10 minutes in that entire time. I opened and closed the ice cream parlor. Then I did it again on Sunday, and I think I sat for about 30 minutes. Same time frame.

Saturday when I got home, I had "cankles"- this is the phenomenon where your ankles swell up so you can't tell the difference between your calf and your ankle. And I wore shortie tennis socks and when I pulled them off, I felt like I got burned. Well, my ankles swelled so much the sock was embedded into my skin and when removed it was like rug burn. The mark was still there on Sunday morning.

I could literally see my heartbeat in the soles of my feet after that work day.

And I have what is equivalent to pitcher's elbow or shoulder or whatever... Which has nothing to do with feet, but I just wanted to point it out, nonetheless.

And when I rubbed my feet I cried. It was the definition, true definition, of "Hurt so Good." That had to be what Mellencamp was crooning about- sore feet finally being rubbed. And once I rubbed them and cried over them, they itched like crazy. Something with blood circulation? I have no idea.

I just wonder if I'll wake up in the next day or two and find that my feet abandoned me for abuse, that they just off and run away without the rest of me. Who could blame them after the poor treatment?

In the "dog" house,

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Book meme- what's better for me-me?

1) What author do you own the most books by?
For some reason I have a bunch of Maeve Binchy novels...

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
I usually don't keep duplicates of any novels (except when I was teaching) but for whatever reason I have 2 copies each of Bridges of Madison County and The Smoker Jumper

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
To Kill a Mockingbird

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Harriet the Spy or Superfudge

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
All that I Have by Castle Freeman Jr — I kept waiting for more but there was never anything to it

8 ) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
Hands down by far was Fool by Christopher Moore. If you read nothing else at all ever, read this.

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (I'm not tagging anyone, however)

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Most of the time movies from books I've read are disappointing, so I would say none

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
see answer to #11

13) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Lowbrow? I would say anything that could get labeled as 'chick lit'.

14) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?

King Lear- I read it alone (not as part of a class, but just for enjoyment) and muddled through it; now I'm not sure why I ever found it so challenging.

15) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
The Russians

16) Roth or Updike?
Neither, really, but if I had to choose, I would say Updike.

17) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Sedaris (though really, I would choose Nick Hornby who is in that style but smarter, in my humble opinion)

18) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?

19) Austen or Eliot?
Jane Austen

20) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Not reading as many classics as I feel I should've.

21) What is your favorite novel?
I wish I had some earth shattering answer for this but I would say To Kill a Mockingbird

22) Essay?
"Why We Crave Horror films" by Stephen King

23) Work of nonfiction?
There are several memoirs I love. Honeymoon with my Brother is probably a favorite, along with I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti

24) Who is your favorite writer?
I don't have a favorite because there are so many who I think are talented: Christopher Moore is probably near the top of my list of "favs" right now if you twist my arm to get a name out of me.

25) What is your desert island book?
I have no idea...................................Do I only get to bring one? Can't I be like Ginger was to clothes as Maggie would be to books?

26) What are you reading right now?
As usual I have several going at one time, but unusually I'm not liking many of them. But the list is: Dune Road, Long Lost, and Swimsuit. I do like Me, Katherine Hepburn's autobiography but it is taking me FOREVER to read.

27) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Atticus Kodiac or Ranger...

28 ) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
I don't usually read anything that would get that sort of award.

29) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I dreamed that a bunch of characters came for dinner and it ended in a disaster, with all of them fighting and scheming so I had sex with Ranger in a half bath off the stair case... and we don't have a half bath off the staircase so...

30) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?

The Comedy of Errors. The language and cadence was all Shakespeare, of course, but the director set it in the 1970s with a "Laugh In" feel.... weird...

31) Favorite Poem?
"Stop All the Clocks" by WH Auden

32) Favorite Short story?
Oh, I have too many of these to list just one — “The Cask of Amontillado” by Edgar Allan Poe, “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, "The Story of an Hour" by Kate Chopin, “A Rose for Emily” by William Faulkner, "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson, "Little Things" by Raymond Carver-- to name a few

33) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Stephanie Meyer- vampire and human love. Team Edward -vs- Team Jacob- blah, blah, blah. We get it already! Don't get me wrong- I appreciate the series and love that it gets teens reading, but enough already!

*Note- I have NO idea why this turned italic at question 14 to the end. I could not get it to turn off, even when I went into HTML edit and deleted the italics code. Sorry for the weird font reading today!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Stop the world, I want to get off...

Ya ever get totally sick of your own thoughts? Shit, for the last 8 months I've thought of nothing but getting a damn job, applying for jobs, interviewing for jobs, networking and begging people I don't know and do know for a job, writing killer cover letters for jobs...

Worrying about money, money , money... Affording anything, not having any retirement...

Getting my own place....

Keeping my cell phone turned on...

Being a loser who scoops ice cream...

My idiot evil Shrew Grandparents

Mac's needs...

Men and the lack there of in my life... and wondering if it will always be that way...

Being lonely, being fat, being in my hometown, which isn't comfortable for me...

I hate being inside my head all the time. I feel consumed. I want new thoughts. I hate being here in my mind. I'd move if I could- outta my brain that is.

Friday, August 14, 2009

So... I had a date

I had a date on Wednesday night. With the guy I wrote about who was my crush. With a guy who happened to be... none other than... Trooper.

I know- you've all collectively fainted and fell over with shock that I, Maggie O'Sullivan, had a date. With a guy. And... I don't have anything bad to say about it... I know, I can't believe it either.

For those of you who need the back story, in summary, we met in the Wild West- he came out there to hunt and we met. We hung out. We went to a party. We drank. We ... well. :ahem: But timing was bad and nothing but a friendship came of it. Which is a good thing considering I was bitchy to him. And it never hurts to have friends.

We've stayed friends for three years and each time he came to the Wild West he had drinks or dinner and nothing else- just platonic friends.

But of late, we've had more contact with more texts and phone calls so we decided to have a date. We live about 5 hours apart so we met sort of in the middle and hung out.

Great conversation, great laughs, lots of fun... it was good.

And I have no idea what happens next, if anything. I think there was chemistry. I think it was good.

I am not going to over analyze this. I don't have the energy to over analyze it. And while this post about the date might seem calm, lackluster, or ever dull compared to other posts I've written about various Sam encounters, well... I guess I'm just tired of getting my hopes up so think of this as me just relaying information. Like a Twitter post: I drove, I had a date, I found a pimple on my nose, I'm reading a book, I'm breathing in and out... ya get my drift?

Still having a crush,

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Remember Mac's magazine?

Remember when I told you that Mac suddenly started getting Maxim magazine when the video gaming magazine went bankrupt?

Well, he did. And though he could've sent in for a refund he decided to keep it.

Well! I wish the publishing company would get their collective acts together. He got three issues then it stopped. He got a letter. In summary, the letter said that since he was a minor child and since he subscribed to Maxim through a school fund raising project, the maturity content was not appropriate. So they gave him a list of other magazines to choose from. There are 5 he can choose from. And they are ALL.VIDEO GAME. MAGAZINES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh My Freaking Goddess! Hello- and why in the world didn't they just do this in the first place???? Can anyone please tell me this? Exchange a video game mag for a video game mag- a direct exchange- tit for tat, so to speak, rather than tat for tits! But no, we had to send half nekkied girls, sex how tos, booze ads, and borderline porn to my 16 year old, when they could've just done this in the first place. Could they BE any more unorganized? Who is running this company? The federal government? I mean, really! Let's get this together, magazine people! It's just a freakin' magazine subscription, for goddess sake!

Seriously. I've rolled my eyes over this so many times I'm surprised they aren't stuck that way,

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Estrogen Overload

I went to see Julie and Julia last night, which was wonderful. It made me laugh, it made me smile, snort, giggle, and just all around feel good! I loved this story. It's based on 2 true stories: why Julia Child decided to become a chef and the process she went through, and the story of Julie Powell, who decided to cook through Child's French Cookbook in 1 year and blog about her experiences as she went. This was a super movie and Meryl Streep as Child's made me laugh out loud more times than I can count. And Amy Adams is delightful as always- and I can relate to her character in so many ways.

But this post isn't about my review of the film. It's about the theater going experience. I went with XRayGril and another friend- Blondie. The three of us arrived and found seats about 20 minutes before the show started. We chatted and watched people come in and... Blondie was the youngest person, by far, in the theater. XRayGirl and I ran a close second and most of the other women were in their middle to late 40s and older. And when I say women I don't mean to be sexist but there were about 100 people in the theater and we counted the number of men who came in: 6. That's right, 6 men in the whole place. I hope their wives rewarded them well for attending. :Ahem:

And as more women came in, the louder and louder it got. Women were hugging each other when they saw a friend they hadn't seen for years- or hours. They hollered at each other across the theater. They talked and laughed loudly. Sweaters were pulled out (and it was soooo NOT warm in there) and draped over shoulders. Diet Coke was flowing. White Shoulders perfume scented the air- estrogen was everywhere; you could cut it with a knife. I am not kidding. I asked Blondie and XRayGirl if they thought it would actually get quiet enough to hear the movie with the huge hen party that was occurring.

The previews started and so did the collective "ooooooh"ing and "ahhhhhh"ing. There was a trailer for the upcoming new Disney film The Princess and the Frog and it seemed a collective giggle escaped in unison from a 100 women, with murmurs of taking granddaughters to "see that one" and I even heard the words "oh so precious" bandied about. And when a trailer for a new Sandra Bullock (Sandra, please go back to being brunette!!!!!!) movie called The Blind Side ran- I think the room was crying. Over the previews. Also in unison. Do you see a pattern here? It's a good thing Julie and Julia wasn't much longer than the 2 hours running time, or the entire theater would have have in sync periods before much longer. The 6 men there probably had grown boobs before the movie was over. This was probably the most estrogen packed movie experience ever. Even more than when we all danced in the aisles and sang and the audience yelled at the screen when I saw Mamma Mia.

It was also a cool thing, because we were all laughing and amused and "aw shucks" and all mortified in the same parts of the movie. Everyone "got" it, so it was sorta fun to know I was in like mind with 99 other women. Well, fun and scary.

Over all it was a good night and lots of fun to see a GREAT film with good friends, to have some laughs, and all around be crazy.

Feelin' like a natural woman,

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mac and the driver license permit

It is done. My baby has a driver's permit. The BMV gave him one. He's allowed to drive on the roads. With the rest of us. In a car. As the driver.

We've been studying and testing from the manual for a few weeks, and especially the last few days. I think I know driving rules of the road and signs better now than I ever have, which can't hurt.

Today was the big day. Mac didn't take drivers' training at school because he missed it in the Wild West by moving and he missed it here in Civilization because it's a summer course. So it's up to his dad and to me to teach him to drive. All I can say to that is: "Oh My God."

Before he could take the test I had to provide proof of his existence, as if his 5'11", 260 pound towering and hulking presence wasn't enough. I had his social security card, his birth certificate, and his school report card. Then he took the written test, which is all that's required for a permit, and he passed!!!!! He didn't miss any questions at all. The women working told him it had been a long time since anyone had a perfect score- he even got all the feet and yards stopping and passing questions. They thought he rocked!

After a picture that looks like a mug shot (like the rest of them in this state) and indicating he wanted to be an organ donor (with no prodding from me) by telling them "Sure I'll donate it all. I'm dead. Why do I need it?", we had to drive all over town: to Wal-Mart, out to his school, through a used car lot to shop for a car for him (after having his permit for 10 minutes), and to my house. So here I am 2 hours later, a quarter of a gallon of gas less, I'm wanting a shot of whiskey but he's driving. We also got a new wallet for the permit, some starter cash (his idea, not mine) for the wallet, and a picture of the Divine Ms. K for the photo slot. He also got a key ring (Superman emblem) and a copy of the key to my car, my treat!

In 60 days, he can take the driving test. He doesn't have to take another written test or another vision test. He just had to learn to drive and then demonstrate to a state approved instructor he can, then my baby is driving.

And I'll be attending AA meetings on a regular basis,

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Philosophy of Mac

Mac told me that he makes stuff up about being sick to get out of doing things- like go to school or whatever. Like most kids have done.

I told him that it was bad karma to make up things about being sick and he could get sick.

He told me that he's never been sick because of it.

I told him it was all storing up and would hit him later. I told him that all that bad karma would come back and run over his dogma.

He said if that happened, "I'll just buy a new dog."

No wonder I'm de-motivated- I can't stop laughing!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Mac, Harry and me

Mac and I went to the State Capital City last week to see the new Harry Potter movie. At an IMAX theater. And 3D. It was completely amazing!

I know that Harry Potter came out in theaters in the middle of July sometimes but Mac and I really wanted to experience it in IMAX/ 3-D. I threatened him with death if he went to see it in a regular theater before we got there. I told him about the problems with the IMAX release so it was going to be later than regular and he would just have to tough it out. He said he would wait. And he did.

First, the movie was good. It's the 6th book/ movie in the series, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, which happened to be one of my favorite books. It's nice to see the novice actors have some chops after all these films and screen time- and it's nice to see them more grown up and much better actors. So that combined with it being one of my favorite novels in the series, it was just a good movie.

But to see it on an IMAX screen and to be able to see the entire opening sequence, which was shot in 3D, was just breath taking. I have never watched a feature length film in IMAX and I've never seen a 3D movie so this was a new experience for me. I've been to IMAX a few times to see the documentaries that are shot specifically in and for IMAX but never a real movie movie.

And it was cool. I was totally gobsmacked with this phenomena and can't believe all these years I've missed it. I was a complete and total dork, with my hand in front of me trying to catch the snow flakes and ducking as the Hogwarts Express raced toward me. Mac was embarrassed that I kept doing that, but he got over it. I was so impressed and super excited. Oh yeah, and Mac thought it was pretty freaking cool, too.

I liked the 3D glasses. They aren't the cheesy ones like in the 1950s-1960s, but over sized plastic ones that fit right over my regular specs so I could see EVERYTHING!

There were a few previews for other movies but there's going to be a new version of A Christmas Carol released in the fall, in computer digital animation but 3D. The preview was in 3D and all I can is... WOW! I decided then and there I won't go see it unless I can on the IMAX 3D screen. It will be totally worth it if the rest of the film slightly compares to the astounding-ness of the previews.

If you have a chance to see any feature film in an IMAX theater or in 3D, you should totally do it. We had a great time, and I always dig hanging out with my kid and even letting 'Arry Potter come along...

Muggle mania at IMAX,

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Can I have a crush at my age?

So........... now I haven't gone online to yet. Because there's someone I have a crush on. I've sort of had a crush on him for awhile but I kept it to myself... I kept it to myself because I was really mean to him once upon a time. He's a nice man- a real doll and such a sexy cutie-patootie.

He's an old friend of mine. We met three years ago under circumstances that have gone to become infamous in 3 states (I am soooooo NOT kidding), and we managed to live it down- so far. Then we sort of kicked around maybe kinda seeing what would happen if we maybe sort of dated, even though we lived about a zillion states (or 2) apart. Then I was idiot because I was suffering from AlaskaSam issues (we had only been split for 3 weeks then I met this guy- which he never knew, I don't think) so I found every single excuse under the sun and listed my issues with him, some of which were extremely stupid, which made me sound like a stuck-up, persnickety, uppity bitch, and told him to jump in a lake- so to speak.

But you know what? He and I stayed friends. All this time- three years later! Because he is such a forgiving person. We've texted, called and emailed all this time. And I've been thinking of him lots over the last several months and I learned he was going to have surgery so I used it as an excuse to call him. I felt like I need one, after the royal bitch I was. And though I knew he forgave me that long ago, I still felt... guilty. So I called him. And... we had a lovely conversation Thursday night. For three hours. More than lovely, really. It was serious, fun, flirty, silly, sexy, and NICE! I made him laugh and smile, which made me feel good. And he made me feel happy- and damn it, there are so very, very few people who can do that for me these days. (Okay, and he called me "darlin' " in that sweet, sexy voice that makes me tingle- all over. He has one of the sexiest voices in history. And "darlin" is one dang sexy word out of his mouth...) And then we sent fun text messages all day yesterday, where the laughing continued.

Now, I wonder what he'll think with my big decision? Probably'll scare the shit right outta him... But who could blame him? Maybe he'll crush back... Girl can hope, right?

He's a nice guy... and I think it's high time that nice guys don't finish last.

I'm just sayin',

OH- and I know some of you are dying to know who this is... since I didn't just stick a "SAM" on him... well, he has a real name I've used here before...! *wink*

Where the hell has she been?

It's 1:22 am and this is the first time I've sat down at my computer since about.... Wednesday night at 1140pm.

I've been busy and have much to blog about. BUT- on Saturday, I work BOTH of my jobs so I might not be visiting your blogs and catching up on your worlds until Sunday afternoon!

Sorry to be out of the loop but you know me- a bad penny always turns up... so I'll be back.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Stolen Meme

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
"I finally have something in common with the Virgin Mary!"

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
All-No; but most

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
sure can; hope you don't mind pennies

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?

8. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?

9. What’s your most favorite scar?
Favorite scar? What sort of weird question is this? I have 2 scars so I think I like the chicken pox one on my forehead the best.

10. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
March 2009- Across the Pond to Dublin

11. What did the last text message you sent say?
I have to wk 2day; will call l8r

12. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
wrists and hands

13. Fill in the blank: I love __________
shoes and purses.

14. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
getting a full time job with benefits that doesn't involve scooping ice cream

15. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time, whom would you call?
Mac and Daddy-O

16. How many kids do you want to have?
I have 1; odds are slim to none that I would have more at this point in my life but I always wanted to have 4 all together. Guess I'm a fourth of the way to my goal.

17. Would you make a good parent?
Actually I think I suck as a parent.

18. Where was your default picture taken?
from the web

19. Whats your middle name?
Janelle (and I love it!)

20. Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Am I ever gonna find a full time job and not have my feet throb because I stood for 6 straight hours?

21. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I would never had big hair in my frosh HS picture.

22. Who was (or will be)the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
This will probably be a moot point since I don't ever see myself as getting married again.

23. What are you wearing right now?
t-shirt and capris

24. Righty or lefty?

25. Best place to eat?
OUT (anywhere that doesn't involve me cooking!) or having someone else cook for me

26. Favorite jeans?
Right Fit from Lane Bryant

27. Favorite animal?

28. Favorite juice?

29. Have you had the chicken pox?

30. Have you had a sore throat?
Many times

31. Ever had a bar fight?
I've yelled at people but never had an actual physical confrontation

32. Who knows you the best?

Gulo or Curley

33. Shoe size?
8 1/2 to a 9; depending on the shoe

34. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
glasses because I can't touch my eyeball; it gives me the willies.

35. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
I don't have a pet

36. Been to Mexico?
nope but I would like to; I can see myself as the "mysterious Gringa" living at the end of a road near the water

37. Did you buy something today?

38. Did you get sick today?
not really, just sick and tired of stupid people

39. Do you miss someone today?

40. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
no- and what's with all the questions about fighting?

41. When is the last time you had a massage?
It's been YEARS!!!!!! A Sam used to give them to me many moons ago, which is the last time I can remember. I would give good money for one right this very second.

42. Last person to lay in your bed

43. Last person to see you cry?
Curley and Daddy-O

44. Who made you cry?

45. What was the last TV show you watched?

A rerun of King of the Hill

46. What are your plans for the weekend?

work and work

47. Whom do you think will re-post this?
Maybe no one, or anyone who wants to do so

48. Who was the last person you hung out with?

49. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
I don't have a significant other... but if I did.... well, guess I would want to tell him first...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

It started as a fantasy...

Once in awhile when it's a slow day in the ice cream parlor, I make up stories in my head, of course, for the customers who come in. There's the guy who walks a poodle and stops on Mondays for a small cone for himself and a dish of vanilla ice cream for his dog. The couple who come in at 9:50 pm on Sunday nights and order huge sundaes with tons of stuff on them and they are both about 5 foot tall and are about that wide. There's the old couple who comes in and the woman wears a wig and the man tells her what to order. It goes on and on- I have a made up story or a 'fantasy' world for all of these people.

So there's a woman who comes in about 5 times a week. She is a tall- I mean tall- all legs with a great and is blond. She wears skimpy dresses with lots of cleavage, has great shoes (usually of the super high heeled fuck me variety) and always has perfect make up. She comes in with her little girl. She buys a bunch of candy and she gets ice cream in a waffle cone with a spoon and she gets her daughter a kids dish of something. They sit in the dining room and the little girl plays with the basket of toys we have and the woman, whom I'm guessing is the mother of the child, sings her songs. In Russian. Okay, when she orders she has a thick accent that is eastern European. It might NOT be Russian but...

I don't know anything about these 2 people but I've decided she was a struggling woman, an orphan with her father being part of old world USSR and just vanished one day and a mother who died of syphilis, who had a baby with the love of her life who was married and when she turned up pregnant he left her. Before the baby, she was happy being his mistress, wearing beautiful clothes he bought her, and took her on exotic trips. Now, unmarried and pregnant, she was ashamed and broke. She was poor and dreamed of coming to America to be an actress. She couldn't even afford to feed her daughter and she didn't want to turn to prostitution. In a final act of desperation she talked to a man who came from the old country she called "Uncle" to help her. He got her papers and a plane ticket. He arranged for a husband, and safe passage to the US. She came to the US and found out that she was married to an old man, who died and left her as a young Russian American widow, stranded here in the Midwest, missing her homeland, with no family and wishing she was in Hollywood.

Okay so that's all going through my head and I made it all up. I didn't know anything about her. I swear.

So, I waited on her over the weekend and giggled a bit as she left. The owner asked me what was so funny and I said something like, "I think she's a mail order bride from Russia."

The owner said, "Yeah, she's the one" and walks away. I stood there with my mouth hanging open. Wha?????????????????

So I immediately followed the owner to the back room and pumped her for information. Apparently, I wasn't too far off the mark. Truth: She was a mail order bride and she arrived in the States with the child. She married a guy who is rumored to be gay. This way she gets to be a citizen and he gets credibility since he's in a prominent position where he would receive much harassment for being gay. (I live in a small town; right or wrong, trust me on this, it would happen). Oh, and he was Amish and left the community. I don't know if he left before or after the mail order bride showed up. Or because of the gay thing. And she is from Russia.

I wonder if I write a little fantasy for myself if it would come true?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

To date or not to date with a little help from my friends

A friend of mine told me I should go on to find a man. I have no idea if that's a good idea or not. I have no idea how I feel about this overall.

It also costs money, which I don't have.

So I had a thought. Well, XRay Girl said something that led me to thinking. She said she would pay good money to hear my dating stories of "what" I meet online since I seem to have the funniest dating track record she's ever heard of. And I do seem to have... unusual... dating experiences. So her comment led me to think. I was thinking.... and I know we all get slightly freaked out when I think, but I was thinking...

What if I made it a blog project? I thought I could open a PayPal account and any reader who wants to put money in it can and with it I'll pay to be on Then I'll go on dates and report back here. I'll show pictures when possible and I could also post the "bios" of the potential victims... er, uh, I mean dates. I could also put bios on and let ya'll CHOOSE who I go with.

If nothing else, I get good blog fodder out of it. I've gone on 2 dates via the Internet- with one guy it developed into a short term relationship that lasted about 4 months and the other guy was someone I dated a few times- blogged about him in detail under my previous moniker- but he was a complete and total utter jerk. (readers from my past: think about pipe lines and men... ring any bells?)

Or I could continue to NOT date. Which is also fine by me.

It's just a thought, albeit a possible bad one.

So, whaddya ya'll think? Wanna help with this project?

Dateless in Civilization,

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I got another award, and it SPARKLES!

I have been so dubbed royalty by the Duchess! She's presented me with the "Most Royal Blog" award!
It's a tiara. And it SPARKLES! OMG! And we all know how much I adore things that sparkle! And we all know about the time I drove across the country wearing a tiara. Or if you don't let me know, and I could blog about that!

So thank you so much your royal highness Duchess for bestowing this lovely award on me. I adore it. Kisses to you!

News junkie needs a fix

I know nothing about what's going on in the world today. I used to know stuff. I used to be "in the know." But now- well, I'm a current events idiot. And I blame myself, my lack of man, and my lack of job for this. Follow me here....

Back in the day, I was a news, politics and current events junkie. seriously. I used to watch CNN every morning, listen to NPR on the way to work, listen to the news at night and read 3-4 daily papers. And I don't count my local "podunksville" newspaper in that list- I read the Post, the Times, the Christian Science Monitor, and USA Today, and occasionally the Journal. I devoured news and politics like I did my morning coffee.

As the post-college years went on, I took in a little less. I still caught the nightly news with Tom B. and still had my CNN fix. I read USA Today and the Sunday NY Times. I still listened to NPR but not as much because it became Rush Radio.

Then the Internet exploded and I went back to my daily diet of newspapers but online. I also became a pretty good magazine junkie and took Time, Newsweek, and Vanity Fair (ok, gimmie a break- they do have a current events and a political section which are very well written). I could also check out other news sources like The Onion and links to various international papers. I was also speaking on daily basis to AlaskaSam who inhales politics and news like air; we are often like minded about such views so we could bat around ideas and events, having healthy conversations and debates (Gawd, he is so smart!)

When I lived in the Wild West, I almost dropped off the map when it came to news for a few reasons. When I dated Sams there, no one ever followed politics unless it affected ranchers or farmers so I had no one to discuss it with. And when I did try, I was treated like an idiot and ridiculed because I'm rather... liberal. I could only take being berated so much. I was also so very very busy. Anyone who read my old blog knew the amount of time I spent grading, prepping, working on programs for my students, sponsoring activities. I did the bare news information minimum- I either caught the top of the hour headlines on CNN and tried to watch a local news station to keep up with my new "home" state or I skimmed the Times on my prep period. Or sadly and more often, I scanned the MSN headlines.

Then I moved back here and my brain became stagnant. I love President Obama but I feel like I'm an idiot. This carries back to the last few months of the Bush era as well when I could barely stand the TV and all the Bush talk. Now I feel like every time I turn on the news, I hear the same stories over and over and over. Just a different variation. Oil prices (still too high). War in Iraq and now Iran (I have no idea why we war there now). I hear about how Americans are idiots about a national health care system (they are). About the current state of the economy (it sucks). The job market (it sucks, too.) Dead pop stars (who cares?). Seth Rogen is skinny (again who cares? But he is hot; I thought he was cute before, but now...!). I feel like the news is stuck on a loop. I feel like the media re-hashes it over and over again and brings out all these experts, quotes politicos that I don't know. I then get completely and utterly bored from hearing the same thing day in and day out so I stop watching and reading. I also hated everything ending with "follow us @ Twitter" or "visit us at". Now, I'm so confused and I feel stupid. When I do get it sorted out, I've also realized I don't know anyone who has a shared interest in political and current events.

No one I work with at any job follows anything about current events or politics. Neither do my family members. And I'm not dating anyone so that's not an outlet, either. I was getting back into my political groove back when AIISam and I were an item since he was a news junkie but that was short lived.

I don't need other people to enjoy the news but right now I'm so behind about what's going on I need a sounding board to help get me back on track. I tried to read my Time mag cover to cover and I feel like I've been living in a cave for all I know about what's happening in the world around me.

And to think, at one time I wanted to be a lobbyist in DC! I'm an embarrassment to my roots.

Needin' back on the news track,

Monday, August 3, 2009

Hecate's Quilted Bag... a post in pictures

My friend Hecate decided she wanted to use a BUNCH of quilt squares she bought on eBay. Instead of starting with a quilt, she decided to make a purse. I had a purse pattern and I bought an extra one so she drove here to Civilization with her material and we decided to sew for an evening.

After looking at the patterns she picked a hipster bag style that would be a cloth bag- quilted- similar to a Vera Bradly type of bag when we got done.

We spent a better part of 2 hours arranging the fabric into a pattern. I had quilt patterns we could use but Hecate wanted something a little more freeing.

So we arranged the squares and then she actually pieced the material together using the sewing machine. She was not impressed at sewing together 36+ squares, but only sewing 4 inches at a time, stopping the machine, cutting the thread, and then sewing some more squares.

Then we needed a border and we didn't have enough black fabric so a trip to Wally World was needed. Upon the return from Wally World, Hecate decided she was done sewing. She was NOT enjoying this process.

So, I volunteered to finish the purse and I knew I would ask my friend Curley to help me out if I needed it. So I added the rest of the border. Then the piece of material was done. Then I attached the batting and did an "in the ditch" stitch on the quilt pieces. After all that was done, I was now ready to actually take the pattern out of the package and start following the pattern.

I called Curley and told her where I was in the process and I went out to her house and she and I went the rest of the way together.

Hecate quilted all her pieces together and added the border, which looked like this when she was done.

Align CenterHere are the pieces of the fabric with the pattern paper still pinned to the fabric.

Here are the pieces of the quilt after we cut out the pattern and took it off.

Here's the outside of the bag- all put together!

The lining is sewn over the red and black fabric and has to be turned inside out- here it is prior to the "giving birth" (inside out tuning) process.

The lining and the purse are sewn together wrong side out so the inner lining needs to be pushed through- reverse sewing, you might say!

Now that the outer bag was shoved through a hole in the lining, it just needs to be tucked inside.

A peek inside the bag- see the inside pocket?- after the lining was stuffed down in!

Sewing on the shoulder strap!

Here's the finished product!

Now Hecate and I just need time to get together so I can give her her bag!