Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Florida vacation- morning view

This is what the ocean looks like as I stand on the balcony (5th floor) at 7am. So grey, with the sun just up.... I love it!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Florida vacation- moon on the ocean

Since Photographer is a photographer I'm learning to use my new Canon rebel and tonight was the perfect time for a lesson. The moon was full, there were clouds and a moon reflection on the ocean. Here is the result of my labours with my camera!

Oh yeah.... yeah.... I took those. Yeah, it was me.

Moonbeams and sweet dreams!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Florida- the condo!!!!

We're here!!!!!! We arrived today!!!!!!

After unloading the car, "opening" the condo, unpacking, grocery shopping, having dinner out and then pouring drinks, I'm sitting on the balcony relaxing, listening to the ocean waves.... bliss!

view of the beach from the condo balcony- me facing northeast

view of the beach from the condo balcony, me taking the picture facing southeast

Beachy kisses,

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Florida vacation- Orlando stop over

We had a 1.5 day stop in Orlando so Photographer could attend a conference. While she did that, I hung out in the hotel and read and watched tv. Not real exciting, I know, but RELAXING was the key for me!

 This is where I slept and watched tv and where I sat to read...

 I sat here to read and write letters...

View of Orlando from my hotel room window.

Leaving tomorrow for the beach condo tomorrow!!!

(PS and no I did nothing Disney related!)

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Florida vacation- on the road

I'm going with Photographer to her folk's condo on a beach in Florida (ocean side of the great sunshine state). We left today. I'll be back sometime next week... I don't even want to think about it. I'm getting outta here for a week-ish! Yay me!

We left at 6 am and arrived in Orlando at 1am. We rock. We drove straight through, listening to music, talking, laughing and stopping to pee a lot.

 Olympic torch thingy in Atlanta, Georgia, a city we drove through.

View of Atlanta through the car window. We managed to hit the city at 5pm rush hour traffic. It was a delight! I did keep Photographer entertained with my constant GONE WITH THE WIND  ("I don know nuttin' 'bout dirvin' in no rush hour traffic!") references and commentary. And sprinkled in many DESIGNING WOMEN comments.

 The great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee...

More Smokies!

And I have no idea what happened to my photos of Indianapolis, Lousiville or Nashville... guess i can take care of that on the return trip!

Sunblock-y kisses,

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Washin' and sweepin' and cleanin' up this joint!

I am so proud of what I accomplished today! To some it doesn't seem like much but after the week I've had, it felt good to do some physical work, at my own pace, and work mostly alone.

My aunt and uncle are coming for a visit. They should be here tomorrow or Monday- maybe even Tuesday- so Daddy- O decided he and I should do MAD cleaning. I cleaned all the things today.  The house isn't disgustingly dirty but we haven't done "deep" house cleaning, spring cleaning style, for awhile.

I cleaned the kitchen, including wiping down cupboards, emptying the dishwasher (and filled it again, ran it and then emptied it again), sweeping the floor, and putting away all sorts of stuff. I vacuumed the dining room rug and carpet, and cleared off the table, which was craft central but now we can eat meals there! I cleaned up the laundry room. I carried all my stuff to my attic room that was downstairs and put it all away. I also vacuumed the living room rug and carpet, and Daddy-O's room. I scrubbed a bathroom and hand mopped the floor on my hands and knees. I did 3 loads of laundry. I gathered trash and replaced all the bags. I went to the grocery store, too!

I also walked the dog and finished a novel.

I bought a bunch of "grill food" so Daddy-O grilled it all so now neither of us have to cook tomorrow or Monday.

When the fam calls to confirm an arrival date and time, I'll mop the kitchen and run the vacuum downstairs one more time. Daddy-O is in charge of dusting. I hate dusting.

This was a good day. (Not as fun as spending the day with Lilith yesterday!!!) but a good day nonetheless!

Now, I'm relaxing with watching reruns of CRIMINAL MINDS, and tomorrow I can relax too- it will be finish the laundry and write letters day!


Friday, July 12, 2013

Single again

Single again is something I never, ever thought I'd be at age 41, staring at age 42. It sucks and I really, really hate it.

I do not want to date again. I don't Before the last Sam I went 471 days without dating. I was fine. Or I at least got myself to a place where I was tolerating my life. Then I met and and for the last 3 years it wasn't easy but I actually thought we had made progress and did well and I honestly thought we could get married. Buy a house. Take trips. Do married stuff. I didn't figure I'd been single again unless he dies first and I was a widow which is an entirely different sort of single.

The single I am now is yet another long-term monogamous relationship that failed.

I hate the idea of having to put myself out there and frankly I don't plan on it.

I said this before and everyone said the typical cliches about fish in the sea, someone for everyone, the right guy will come along, blah fricking blah. And the guy came along, he wasn't right and here I am three years later more hurt, broken, and cynical about love/ romance than I ever was before in my life.

Reality says I have bigger issues than being single but all those big things I was dealing with in a relationship seem worse because now I'm dealing alone. Damn it.

Why did he had to be an douche bag and just fuck it all up? (pardon my French but as Daddy-O says sometimes the f-word is the only one that will do). WHY????

Pissed, sad, angry, depressed, lonely, hurt, frustrated, scared, bitter-- all my emotions.

Several things suck other than what I've listed so far:
1- to date means I now have to worry about my appearance at all times. I look about how I did a few years ago but now I have to make sure to dress "right" and be funny, scintillating and all the crap that goes with dating. When I dated in my 20s and 30s, I made sure I was dressed in all the right clothes and even "dressed up" to go to the grocery. I can no longer wear yoga pants and a ball cap to the mall, if I want to be on the hunt for a guy.

2- when did wanting to be married become a bad thing? It's bad I know but who made it bad? Are we still blaming women's lib for this? I thought women's lib meant we could have it all- marriage, family and career. I know in the 90s being married was bad because it was all about the career. Is it still bad to want to be married? Great.

3- He's probably dating as I type this post here on Friday night at 11pm. One thing I "admire" about this Sam is that he believes in love. He does. He might be a prick but he's will to keep dating and dating until he finds the right one. He believes there are more fish in the sea and he'll keep looking for the big kahuna. I think it's brave of him to keep trying. I don't want to try. (It's obviously waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to soon for either of us to date but I bet he is. I don't know it for a fact or anything but he's the get back on the horse/ bike/ woman sorta guy). I don't WANT to date because I think true love and all that nonsense is just that: nonsense. I'm also slightly jealous he CAN just decide to start dating again. (And super hurt. Trust me on this, I KNOW he's trying to start dating. I was with him for 3 yrs. I do know something things.)

All in all, this sucks.