Friday, April 30, 2010

More about my community service kids

So yesterday, when the kids were doing their volunteerism, I had one kid tell me it was "lots of fun." This kid, being a 14 year old boy, is sarcastic- by definition, aren't all 14 year old boys? I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a "yeah right".

But he stopped me and said, "No, Ms. O'Sullivan. I'm being serious here." He went on to tell me that he lives with his mom and she 'works all the time' and all he does after school is sit at home, alone, and watching tv or plays video games.

He continued telling me it was cool I would take them to get their hours and he got to spend time with his friends and it helped old people and poor people, so it was fun. He said it was better than being home alone, day after day.

I was completely taken aback. This is a kid who really seemed to hate me for most of the year and really has given his teachers fits because he's just lazy. He's really smart (he's not special ed or LD or ED) but he just doesn't do his work. As a matter of fact, to prove he's no dummy, the 8th grade teachers told him at the beginning of the last quarter he better pass everything or he would fail 8th grade. He's doing his homework and studying and guess what? He has all As and Bs. He's just lazy and also has no encouragement at home- the grades prove he has the ability.

And this is the kid who was liking volunteering.

He liked it so much he asked if he could still come once a week all summer to keep helping because it "feels good to help" people and "it's better than sitting at home" and he thought it might look good on a resume or college application. Can we say a complete 180? I was very impressed.

Just when I think I can't be surprised anymore by my students...

Maggie Mae

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Community Service

My middle school wants our 8th graders to be "well rounded citizens". Well, duh- it's a nice idea in theory but the approach is a pain in butt.

Here's the deal: the kids get "points" for their grades, attendance, behavior, standardized test scores, and extra curricular activities. For a kid who makes good grades, plays a sport or joins a club, doesn't miss much school and passes the standardized tests, this is no big deal. For about 95% of the 8th grade population, this is no big deal. BUT!!!! (yes, there is always a BUT!!!!)

Well, I guess before the "but" I should also say the 8th grade teachers claim that they have the nerve/ the right/ the guts/ the whatever to tell kids who have passing grades, good attendance, who are NOT behavior problems and who pass their standardized tests that they will not allow these kids to PASS to the 9th grade because they don't have any community service hours or because they aren't participating in an extra curricular. You read that right- no passing because of that lack. I think that's one of the stupidest things in the world. And I am pissed.

Now remember what I do? I work with mild special ed kids, and LD and ED kids. These kids, for the most part, HATE school with a passion, usually are discipline problems, fail their standardized tests, and never have any extra curriculars because they hate school and want to be as far away from the place as they can be, once that bell rings. (Or their parents don't have money to pay for them to join anything, they don't have transportation home from something after school!) So MY kids are the ones who are in danger of passing because they have a low amount of points to begin with. So last week, the 8th grade teachers had individual conferences with these kids, and told them they needed 20 community service hours by May 14 or they would not be able to go to 9th grade. Outrageous!

Where are MY kids going to get community service hours? Really? Most people would take one look at them and say they weren't interested in their help. Most don't have parents who can help guide them; obviously, or they wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. Most of my kids don't have a way to GET to a place to work. Who thought of this whole stupid idea?!?

So, I decided since this is stupidest thing I've heard this year, and I teach special ed so I hear a lot of stupid shit, I'm going to make sure the kids get their hours. I called Curley, who works at our local senior citizen rec. centre here in town and tell her about the BS at school and can she help me get 5-12 kids some hours. With her help and with the help of her boss, I have time slots for my kids to go in to volunteer every day, beginning today, until next Friday.

I arranged transportation from the school to the centre, and I'll be taking them home. And I'm staying to oversee this huge bunch of kids for the two hours they're spending working. The kids will be doing anything from yard work to "house cleaning" to stocking the food pantry to moving furniture. The won't really be interacting with senior citizens because we get there so late in the day that most of the 'senior' activities are over.

Tonight, after school, I took the first load of kids over; I had five. These are kids who hate school, really don't have typically good adult interactions, most have criminal records, and in general, aren't kids most adults like nor approve of. WELL!!! My kids totally ROCKED!

They were polite and worked so very hard. They did everything they were asked with very little screwing around, and NO bad attitudes. They stocked the food pantry today and they did as they were told: lugged and hauled food, stocked shelves, cleaned, organized, cut up card board to recycle... I am so proud of them. They used manners (and I didn't even have to give them the manners pep talk) and were very respectful. I am so proud of them. I couldn't be more pleased.

We have five more days to go of this and if each day goes this well, it will be more than worth it. They were phenomenal. I think they deserve monstrous kudos.

And they deserve to be freshmen next year. Hands down. Today reminded me why I like teenagers, and why I don't like school policies.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Life is a game of "whack-a-mole" & I am the mole

  • In the last few days, I had an incident at school with a classroom teacher so I can't go into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I did something that made the teacher mad. I apologized. He made a big deal of it but it backfired and he got his own ass in a sling because everyone found out he wasn't doing HIS job, and I was. Which he's taking out on my special ed. kids, AND me.
  • The boarder incident was with the aforementioned teacher
  • My mouth is still sore from my dental work last week.
  • Yesterday I was told Mac needs $6,000.00 of dental work done- it's a damn long explanation and a rather gross one, but that's the short version= $6 grand
  • I've gained weight.
  • Daddy-O just told me to shut up; I sort of deserved that.
  • There are black ants the size of golden retrievers living in the dishwasher; don't be a smart ass and just try and drown them because the "clean" dishes end up with ant body parts on them and you have to run the dishwasher again
  • Apparently my subscription to Entertainment Weekly wasn't renewed like I thought
  • The laundry room ceiling leaked all over the clean clothes that were hanging or folded in the laundry basket, requiring me to wash and dry and fold them all. over. again.
  • And I haven't had sex in approximately 408 days.
  • And my check engine light came on.... the check engine light on the car, not on me. The car's check engine light came on, which is never a cheap thing. Oh shit!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

And the award goes to me!

As with all good blogger awards, there come rules.

1. Brag about the award.
I got an award and it's so cool! I love awards. They're like presents. And I love presents. An award!!!!! For me me me!!!!!

2. Include the name of the blogger who gave you the award and link back to that blogger.
Wiley gave it to me- thank you, thank you, thank you!!! She so rocks. If she didn't give it to me first, I'd give it to her! And I'm super-duper excited because she moving to the States and then we can hang out. Hey, I know she could be 2000 miles from me, but that's better than the current 3 million-jaillion miles and a bunch of oceans and mountains and stuff away that she is now!

3. Choose a selection of blogs that you find brilliant in honest content. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with this award.
So I present this award to the following:
  • Jain at Food for Thought is brilliant in presentation, word, and deed
  • Shan at Shansland is funny, creative, an excellent mom, and beautiful inside and out
4. List at least ten honest things about yourself...
Geez, 10 honest things about me? Really? Okay here goes:
  1. My real middle name is not Mae; it's Janelle.
  2. I worry about what other people think of me and I hate that I do. I wish I was more like French women who just don't give a flying monkey's butt what people think and do their own thing anyway. Guess that's why they're French and I'm not.
  3. Being in love scares me to death and I avoid it because I just can't fathom being hurt again. Our hearts don't regrow or bounce like I pretend they do. I just can't stand the thought of romantic disappointment again.
  4. I get pissed off at the weather, which is stupid because I can't control it, but the rain made the roof leak and screwed up all my clean clothes, making me wash them AND dry them all over again.
  5. I want Mac to get a summer job but I can't MAKE that happen, just like I can't MAKE anything else happen.
  6. I'm seeing a pattern that I have control issues so I'm honest in that I have control issues.
  7. I'm really hating my job right now. Yes, I am lucky I have a crummy pay job with no benefits and it's better than being unemployed. But that doesn't mean I still have to like it, right?
  8. I worry I won't be able to afford Mac's college tuition. Sperm Donor is NOT an option; let's not go there, shall we?
  9. Chocolate doesn't solve all the problems of the world but it seems to help.
  10. I like to get mail that's not bills. I love to get letters, cards and magazines. These make me happy.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Damned if you do, damned if... well, if you do

I went to the The Dollar Tree and I love their education corner! And I found some really great bulletin board stuff. Since I'm just a worthless aide now and don't have my own room, I still like to look and I find reasons to buy!

I found some totally fabulous science words and I bought a package for the science teacher whose room I'm in. She thought they were totally AWESOME, and jumped up and down and promptly did a new bulletin board using them. How cool, right?

So on Thursday night I was in there and found some super cool boarder that was all US History stuff. Well, the 8th grade social studies curriculum is all US History! So I bought some boarder and gave it to the social studies teacher. He's a coach- did I mention that? And he never speaks to me when I'm in his room, unless I ask him a direct question. He isn't what you would call "Mr. Personality". So I gave him the boarder and he looked it and said, "Is this a hint that I should decorate my bulletin boards?" *Screeching halt*!!!!!!!

Shit. Well hell, that's not what I meant at ALL! Why would his first instinct be that I was being mean? I stuttered around and said no but I just thought it was cool. Then when I was in his classroom, I noticed, for the first time in months of sitting in his room, he really didn't decorate his bulletin boards real elaborately.

But I seriously just thought it was cool since it had Lincoln, the St. Louis Arch, Mount Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, and the like on it........ I thought he would just think it was neat.


I should go in his classroom when he's not there, steal it and keep it.

See if I ever do anything nice again....

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I don't think Ace of Cakes will be hiring us any time soon!

So you know how last night was the "un-surprise" birthday party for Mac? And you know how XRay Girl and I were going to make a Mad Hatter cake? And you know how I spent Friday night making seven different cakes so the layers could be made?

XRay-Girl and I worked on the cake for 5 hours and it just didn't work out right. Here is the experience, in pictorial.

Here is XRay Girl prepping our first cake with the buttercreme icing.

Here is the first layer of the bottom section.

Here is the bottom section before we shaped it.

Here is the bottom layer after we built it, sculpted it, and "dirty iced" it. After this is where things sort of fell apart... If we could've had a Mad Hatter Cake with one layer, this wouldn't been perfect. Did I mention that we were going to only use buttercreme icing on the whole thing since XRay Girl nor I had ever used fondant? That could've been our first fatal flaw in our plan.

In the background you can see that we are starting to layer the second part. And you can see the butter creme icing on the "done" layer starting to run-- because it was about 75 degrees with nearly 90% humidity. Yes, it was really hot and the icing was MELTING!!!!

This was supposed to be the second layer. The cake was too moist even though it was chilled. And the icing was melting so instead of helping hold it all together, it was causing the cake layers to slide apart. And about fell on the floor. So I caught it. So we decided to trim it a little bit more, so the whole second layer isn't going to really be six inches around. More like 4. But we kept trimming and got this:

three big piles of scrap cake. And that plastic pitcher in the background held the margaritas we started drinking when it all fell apart. And I have no idea where the Comet came from; I swear it didn't get in the cake or icing.

We then got out some more cakes and cut them up differently and made a second layer- sort of. But it was a small second layer. It was supposed to be six inches--- not even close as you can see.

The up side is that I made 2 of those little 3 inches ones, so we decided to cut one of those up to be the top layers.

XRay Girl is icing the second layer in green.

We are icing the top layer in orange. We were going to do the bottom layer in all buttercreme stars but the entire thing was melting so we left it iced in white.

This is the final product. I know... it looks NOTHING like the pictures. It was so hot the buttercreme icing was melting faster than we could ice it. We kept stopping to stick the frosting bags and the cake in the refrigerator and then taking it out to keep going.

We figured if we ever did this again- and we probably won't- we'll need to freeze the cakes and make the icing the night before and chill it. We're also going to make sure we cook in a cold room, as cold as we can stand it. We're also going to learn how to use fondant. Yeah... so...

Mac is the best sport in the world. Though it didn't look anything like it was supposed to, he thought it was a cool effort and he appreciated the tie into the Mad Hatter concept.

We had a good time and lots of laughs. The one thing I didn't show a picture of was then we opened the refrigerator and found the middle layer had slid off the cake and was laying on the floor. We just stuck it back on, after swearing a lot. We also had some icing slide off and I didn't photograph the blob.

I can say, though, we laughed hysterically!

And as Bragger pointed out earlier, it all involves cake so how can that be bad? We have tons and piles of cake, as well as the blobby cake. Can we still have an A for effort anyway?


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Girlie Pink things that make me happy on a Saturday, and always!

Here some of my favorite girlie pink things!

My piggy bank; and yes, she IS wearing a tiara and a tutu.....!

A pink Elvis purse!

My cell phone- and yes, it's pink, too!

A pink feather boa and my sleep mask

And thanks as always to our Pink Saturday hostess Beverly at How Sweet the Sound. Each week we're supposed to also feature a fellow Pink Saturday blogger, and I encourage you all to visit Anna at Frosted Petunias. Her blog is beautiful and well written- I enjoy stopping to see her on other days than just Saturdays for sure!

All things pink,

Friday, April 23, 2010

Cake Walk?

Tomorrow is Mac's un-surprise party and tonight I must get started on the preliminary preparations. What that entails is me baking cakes for the Mad Hatter Topsy- Turvy cake. Well, more specifically that means me making 7 cakes. Yes, you read that right, SEVEN cakes!

I'm going to make all the cakes tonight and put them in the freezer and refrigerator to chill. Tomorrow, around noon, XRay- Girl is coming over to help with the assembly. She makes cakes for people's parties and the like, and she a master cake decorator so she's going to be a pivotal part of the assembly and icing process.

We met earlier this week and "reviewed" our game plan- we printed the directions, read through them and discussed what they meant, found a bunch of pictures of the cake style, and we even watched a "how to" video of how to do this. We are ready. It was a good thing we did the prep meeting because, otherwise, we would've made all the cakes on Saturday before the decorating and the directions recommend freezing and/or chilling ahead of time so the 'sculpting' will be easier. Yeah- sculpting. I, who got an F in playdoh, am making a cake that involves what is called 'sculpting'... this is gonna be.... interesting, shall we say?

I'm making all round cakes in the following sizes: one 10 inch, two 9 inches, two 8 inches, one 6 inch, and one 3 inch. That's a lot of cake.

So tonight my job is to prepare cakes. We have lemon, vanilla and yellow. No chocolate because Mac doesn't like chocolate cake and because, according to X Ray Girl, you get one chocolate crumb in the white buttercreme icing and we'd be fucked (those were her words, not mine!).

I am promising pictures......... I'll post pictures whether it's a disaster or a success. And if it looks to be a disaster, we're breaking out the wine- couldn't hurt and might help!

Cake makin' maven,
Maggie Mae

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

It's all about the ambiance

This is such a pretty time of year around my area of the world. All the spring flowers are in bloom, flowering trees are in full bud, the tulips and daffodils are out. The grass is starting to green up and the leaves are beginning to appear on the huge maple and oak trees. People are out working in their yards, setting out potted plants and flowers. Bushes are starting to fill in.

The weather is just stunning. It's been warm enough to be outside to have BBQs, to relax on a porch swing, to do yard work, or to just take a walk. it's not too hot nor too cold. the sky is the purest of blue and the clouds seem to be at peak fluffiness, not weighed down by humidity.

Spring is fully and completely here. I love this time of year.... except for one stupid thing.

The town I live in has a "town clean up" week. They announce it a few weeks ahead of time so people can get ready. What this means is that on a pre- arranged week, folks can put junk in the yard that the city garbage men will haul away for free. The city does this twice a year (well at least twice, maybe 3 or 4 times). One time they do it is next week. So while one is driving around town enjoying all that spring has to offer, we can also indulge in seeing piles of junk at the curb.

I think it's a shame that the city does it now. It's just a gorgeous time a year, we could even have a spring festival of flowers, but instead of just driving past the historic homes to see the yards and the garden starts, we can also enjoy broken furniture, lumber, and other delightful junk. I hate that. And it looks so hillbilly- redneck. It's also all over town! Broken baby beds, stained mattresses, a toilet, ruined carpets, ugly couches... and this stuff gets piled up weeks in advance so it sits out all the time.

Just another "delightful" sign of spring.............


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I love bloggy 'presents'!

I received this award today from a sweet blogger who's a newer reader here at "shoes/purses" and I am SO flattered and honoured that she should want to bless me such an award already! So thank you so much to Anna at Frosted Petunias for the Happy 101 Blogger Award!

I'm supposed to list ten things that make me happy:
10. New shoes
9. Great fitting jeans
8. Knowing the final Jeopardy questions
7. Pizza for dinner
6. Watching a good movie
5. Chocolate
4. John Cusak, Jeffery Dean Morgan, & Johnny Depp
3. Bubble baths, new Bath and Body Works lotions (Butterfly Flowers, White Citrus, and Wild Honeysuckle), champagne, roses, pedicures, moonlight, violin music,
2. Long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last for three days
1. The Right Sam

Thank you again Anna@ Frosted petunias- you are so sweet, and you, too, make me happy!

And the award goes to,

Wild Crab Apple tree

Out in the front yard is this tree..... pretty....

Monday, April 19, 2010

Monday Meme

Sunday Stealing brought us this meme and since we must have honour among thieves I want to say thanks to them for my blog topic today!

And yes, I brought out a meme because it's so late in the day and I did all sorts of stuff after school so I didn't have time to write something 'real.'

So, for today---

01. Real First Name:

02. Birthday:
Sept. 26

03. Where do you live:
in Daddy-O's attic, somewhere in the Midwest, place known as Civilization

04: What are you studying/What are you working as:
Special Education Aide in a middle school setting

05. What makes you happy:
money, shoes, purses, lotions, Mac and Daddy-O, friends, Curley, quilting, sewing, reading, writing, blogging, music, film

06. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
The Pretenders Greatest Hits

07. What is particularly good/bad about your blog:
good about my blog are my readers. bad- my template; I need to hire someone to make one that would make me happy

08. An interesting fact about you:
I want to live in Ireland or somewhere in the UK

09. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:

10. Favorite place to be:

11. Favorite lyric:
"will you hose me down with holy water, when I get too hot?"- Meatloaf

12. Best time of the year:
when it's not too hot, not too cold

13. Weirdest food you like:
fried peanutbutter and banana sandwiches


01. A film:

02. A book:
Fool by Christopher Moore

03. A song:
"Hey Soul Sister" by Train

04: A band:
Bon Jovi


01. One thing you like about a blogger that you have not met:
Bragger's creativity and sense of humour

02. Two things you like about yourself:
sense of humour & my taste in shoes

03. Name three things that you need in a lover:
honest trustworthiness, intelligence, sense of humour

Sunday, April 18, 2010

A bit melancholy this morning

Mac seemed to have a great time at the Prom. He looked so grown up and dashing in his tux. I mean, he looked really REALLY grown up. I can see why the girls think he's a cutie. Okay, so I'm his mother and I'm biased but really, he was looking really cute. And grown up.

And since I have this ADD brain* the path I took was...

He's growing up and next year he's going to university and then law school. He's not going to hang out this me or stay at home with his 'old' mom all the time. Because he'll be at school doing grown up things that boys do in school; hopefully that will also involve lots of studying....

And he'll meet some woman and get married and have his own family.

Or he'll be as screwed up as I am about love and relationships and he'll just shag everything in a skirt and marry his job and have lots of money and jet around the world spending it frivolously.

Either way, he won't be hanging out with his mother, who will be old and alone. Well, not so old; I won't be 40 before he goes to college. My point is, he won't be at home with me.

Frankly, then, that means a huge part of my life is coming to a close and what the hell am I going to do now?

Daddy-O, I'm not killing you off, no matter what the employees at Hobby Lobby think (we were looking at vases and saying how nicely they could be turned into urns for him when he died, and we got some strange looks...anyway) and as we were talking the other day, we are both closer to death than, well, not death. I mean, you're almost 65 so you're not going to be here forever. And I'm staring at 40-- someday-- shit, someday soon!

And I'm going to be alone. I've said for a good many long years now I was a person who was meant to be alone. I never figured I would have a relationship that would amount to much, or that I've played all the loved cards I was dealt, or that I'm not the marrying kind. Hell, even if I could find a man, I think I'm too old for him to want to marry me, even if said hypothetical relationship should ever happen... (We all know I'm a bum magnet. Nothing good comes of me dating other than disasters that make for excellent blog fodder.) Really, who would WANT to marry me?

But I never really thought of what alone meant, and how alone that really really is. Mac is going to do something astounding with himself. I can feel it in my bones. He has enough of my wanderlust in him so he'll make home wherever he is. But he will be an adult. Daddy-O will die and I'll be really alone.

When I think of alone like that, it's really REALLY alone.

Even if I'm an atheist, can I still be a nun and join some sort of sister cloister thingy? I could fake it........ right?

All Hail the Big Three (of course I mean Prada, Dolice, and Gabana),
Sister Mary Maggie Mae, patron saint of shoes..... and lost cause romances

*I would like to point out that at the beginning of this post I warned you I was going to take you on a trip through my ADD brain.... you WERE warned. Geez!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hey Lady, everything's bloomin' Pink!!

I'm not being very original in my choices of pink for today, but since spring has felt like a long time in coming for me, I thought some of our local Midwest pink color is worth sharing. Visit Beverly, the Pink Saturday 'hostess with the mostess' at How Sweet The Sound.

Another great Pink Saturday blogger is Creative Carmelina. (Actually she's a great blogger on all days and with all colours!) She is a beautiful artist and can do... everything! Her blog is beautiful, as are her work and her words. Check her out; also peek at her esty shop!

An up close shot of the weeping cherry tree blooms in the back yard.

a magnolia tree in full bloom!

a pretty pink bush that we can't seem to identify!

And finally, please watch this video: "Glitter in the Air" by singer PINK. I was going to put this video on this post but I can't make it small enough to fit! It's her performance during the Grammys, which is amazing. AND this song is just beautiful, just absolutely beautiful.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Random thoughts Friday

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.... my mouth hurts.

So yesterday two girls at school got into a fist fight and both are now one step away from being expelled. They had to "do time" in a juvenile day jail program for a week. If they fight again, they are expelled. Oh, these two girls were fighting over.... their love of a third girl who was going to "have her"- typical love triangle, right? They're 8th graders...

I'm going to try teaching a novel with the last 6 weeks of school. Yes, I am quite possibly, out of my mind. No I've not selected said novel yet--- To Kill A Mockingbird maybe?

I overpaid the dentist. By A LOT! And I wanted my money back. But I have to wait until the office manager cuts me a check next week. Now, I HAD to pay for my services before he even touched my mouth, but now I have to wait more than a week for a $200 refund? Where's the fair in that? TaDa, Bragger or Curley, could one of you strong, kick ass ladies call there and be all strong and kick ass for me please?

Yesterday one boy got expelled and was sent to boy's school because he went home with stolen property from school. The vice principal went with the cops to his house, knocked on the door and the stupid student answered... holding a doobie. Yup, boys school. Idiot. I don't know what happened to the other kid who jumped out the back window into the waiting arms of another cop... I didn't think to ask!

Mac is going to the prom on Saturday night and I gave him a chore list that involves getting a haircut, washing and waxing the car, changing my CDs to his, picking up the corsage and his tux, and "finding the funky smell" in the car. Uh-huh. Things you never want to say...

Is wrong to borrow a movie from one of my students who illegally downloaded it from the 'net? For me to just watch in the privacy of my home? Am I breaking the law?

There's a guy I like. He lives away. I miss (and like) him. I think I miss (and like) him more than he misses (likes) me. Does that matter?

I'm helping Daddy-O learn all about Medicare. When the heck did the government start charging people for this? And I think someone should hire me to explain Medicare because it's not as complicated as they want you to think. I think. Though I could be confused. If anyone has any advice, it's welcome.

I love it that I a friend who calls me and asks me to help her with her homework because, and I quote, "You're my only smart friend."

At last, it's Friday.... TGIF!!!!!!

On another note...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A very "Un- Surprise" Birthday party

I'm alive. My mouth feels all gross and funny shaped but I guess that's normal? And what do I have to write about other than my mouth since I've been home for two days, sleeping and gently swishing with salt water?

I can tell you about Mac's upcoming "Un-Surprise" party. Yeah...

When you have a teen age son who turns 17, having a birthday party for him is a tricky thing. First, is the question to have on or not? And if yes.... then planning can be a nightmare. Timing is the first hurdle. First, Mac's birthday was Monday, the 12th- the Monday after spring break when everyone was back at school. So I couldn't do anything party-wise the week before because 99% of his friends were gone on holiday. And having a party on a school night is... "lame", apparently. This coming Friday is out because it's the night before Prom and that's conflicts with other stuff, but I didn't ask what. So now, Mac's "Un-surprise" party is going to be on Sat. April 24.

And why do I call it the UN- Surprise party? Well, because planning a party for a 17 year old boy is tricky so I gave up and asked him if he wanted a party. Yes. Okay-- so what did he want to do? And no I won't buy a keg... so he decided he wanted to have a few kids over to watch movies and eat pizza. Since we live with Daddy-O and he just got new furniture and a few kids turned into about 25 kids, Curley is helping and getting the "event room" at her place of employment for said party. (Thanks again Curley!) After much deliberation with Mac, he's having about 25 invited for pizza and cake and movies.

But he WANTS it to be a surprise. O-kay...

So now I'm calling his female friend (not a GF but a BF) and she's going to pass out the invitations and pick the kids who are Mac's real friends. I'm pretending it's a surprise and so is Mac but he wants to know who's coming, he wants to pick the movies, he wants to make sure I get the right pizza--- OMG, he's totally his mother's control freak child. So the female BF is going to pass out the invites and then the kids are going to text or call me with RSVPs (or her).

And Mac is going to "fake" surprise at his surprise party that he helped plan.

I also want to point out that he's having an Alice in Wonderland party. Since he was the Mad Hatter, XRayGirl is making a cake that is going to resemble this one (click here), the invitations are Alice as are all the party favors. He approved and thought it was hilarious. And if the other kids think it's dumb, he can blame me since it... was... well, a surprise. Yeah.

Should be interesting!


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

If you're reading this....

then I just didn't feel like blogging yet. I did some pre-blog planning.

I had my dental surgery yesterday so Monday night I wrote this blog post and scheduled it to post. I figured if I felt like blogging, I would. If something happened to me, Curley has strict instructions to blog that... well, that something happened to me. But if I was fine but didn't want to write, then this would publish.

And since this did publish, then you can assume I am fine, but am in pain, tired, sore, out of sorts and just plain don't feel like sitting down and writing when I feel like this.

Back to regularly scheduled plans tomorrow- then I can give the bare bones details of my surgery. Very bare bones. Oh hell, all I'll probably do is kvetch and whine!

And if you have a need to read something I wrote, then visit my current book state of mind here.

The un-blog post poster,

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dentist drama meme

Today is the day of the big dental surgery. The wisdom teeth are coming out and some other stuff. So... I can't think straight or concentrate....... that means a meme. Thank you to Evil Pixie for this one! (Though she admitted she stole it from Stealing Sunday, so.......)

Never in my life have I been: So unsettled about my future.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Mac. I love him more than life itself, but on the flip side, he drives me NUTS.

High school was: Horrid.

When I’m nervous I: get quiet.

The last song I listened to was: “Turn Me On" by Norah Jones

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Would depend where I was when I got married and the cost of travel and such!

My hair is: auburn with gray

When I was 5: Life was so simple, I don’t remember what it was like when I was 5.

Last Christmas: Was nice.

I should be..: employed with health insurance and a pension and the ability to travel...

When I look down I see: gold- Daddy-O's couch!

The happiest recent event was: relaxing on spring break.

If I were a character on 'Friends' I would be: Probably a blend of Phoebe and Rachel

By this time next year: anything could happen... let's throw caution to the wind and say I'm traveling abroad!

My current gripe is: Not enough money!

I have a hard time understanding: men

There’s this girl I know that: confuses me. She knows what it's like to successful and she knows what it's like to be a failure. Why does she want to revert back to failure? And why can't I help her see the value of her successes and hard work?

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: anyone who heard me shouting it from the rooftops... then my fam & then bloggerville

Take my advice: life is full of surprises and be ready for 'em!

The thing I want to buy: costs money I don't have.

If you visited the place I was born: You’ll see some lovely historic homes.

I plan to visit: A lot of places! Back to the UK first, then on to the rest of western Europe with special attention paid to Italy (can we say Venice anyone? What a wonderful place for a honeymoon or a romantic trip...), and then off to sights closer to home in the US, parts of Canada like Nova Scotia and then Whistler... and parts of Africa and I must go to New Zealand and Australia... and well, that's a start.

If you spent the night at my house: You’ll have to join the party in the attic with Mac and me!.

I’d stop my wedding if: I found my man was a lyin', cheatin', stinkin' SOB.

The world could do without: Republicans. Or 7th graders.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: uhhhhhh, that's so gross I can't come up with something off the top of my head. Who thought of this? Sheesh!

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: a hamburger

Most recent thing someone else bought me: cute shoes! (Thank you Curley!)

My favorite blonde is: Charize Theron

My favorite brunette is: Johnny Depp- duh- hello!

My favorite red head is: Scarlett Johansson (she was a red head in something I saw)

My middle name is: Mae (at least it is here in blog-land)

In the morning I: Am not a morning person but with age I've gotten much more... personable, I guess.

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: pigs. Everyone says "when pigs fly" so just once I would like to look out the window and be all, "yep, they are. Now gimme the money" or something like that.

Once, at a bar: I drank, played pool and hung out. In all honesty, I've done 2 embarrassing things in all the times I've been to bars. (I am not counting the number of times I sang karaoke badly in the 2...)

Last night I was: unable to fall asleep easily. I have waaaaaaaaay to much crap renting space in my head right now!

There’s this guy I know who: is special.

If I was an animal I’d be: a horse.

A better name for me would be: My name fits me pretty well, I'd say.

Tomorrow I am: going to the dentist.

Tonight I am: Probably going to stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep.

My birthday is: September 26

Monday, April 12, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mac.

Mac is 17 years old today. Wow. Sometimes I look at him and still see my little boy; other times, I wonder where this guy came from and wonder what happened to my little boy.

He drives. He dates. He's looking at college/ universities. He's one year from high school graduation.

But he's still my baby, right? I do his laundry, he pouts if he doesn't like what I fix for supper, and he wants his mommy when he's sick.


He's amazing and I marvel at him daily.

Happy birthday to my son. I love you, baby boy!

Okay, let's have cake and ice cream.......................!

love, Mom

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Third post of the day...clean!

The leaves are raked and carried to the road, awaiting the street department's leaf sucker machine. (and if anyone wants night crawlers, the backyard is full of them now that all the leaves have been hauled away!) The grass is cut. The kitchen floor is mopped. Dinner is cooking in the crock pot. The cars are washed. Clean sheets have been put on all three beds in the house. The dishwasher had been run and emptied, ready to be filled again. The toilet bowl has even been swished with blue water stuff. Trash has been gathered and taken to the garbage pails. All shoes and assorted belongings have been toted upstairs and [sort of] put away. Cars have been cleaned inside as well!

Laundry still needs to be done. I'm not going in there. You can't make me.

Shakin' in my shoes,

Multiple Posting Sunday Brings You: I had no idea they were that big in the Midwest!

I'm in the laundry room, taking the stuff out of the dryer, still in my pajamas and barefooted, mind you, just minding my own business. My foot tickles, specifically the tip of my big toe.

I look down ready to just scratch the itch when I see a HUGE spider with one leg touching my toe! I screamed so loud Mac was there in about 3 seconds. The neighbors even turned off their mowers outside. I couldn't stop screaming and somehow when I finally calmed down I was standing on the couch in the living room, 3 rooms away. (sorry about that Daddy-O). I'm not sure I remember getting there.

This spider was huge. I know I have a tendency to exaggerate, but swear on the grave of my mother, this was the biggest spider I've ever seen, even bigger than scorpion spider that was in my apartment in the Wild West. This spider's body was at least 2 inches in diameter (we've recently studied diameter in 8th grade math, so I know I'm using this math terminology correctly) and I COULD. SEE. EYES. ALL. OVER. ITS. BODY!!!!!!!!! I think I had a mini heart attack or a stroke or something. You could visibly see my heart pounding through my shirt.

So Mac gets on shoes and goes after the spider. he moves every stick of furniture in the laundry room, except for the stackable washer/ dryer unit. And the only reason he didn't move it was because I didn't know how much wiggle room we had before we unplugged it from a hose or pipe or something.

And the worst of it is---- he couldn't find it!!!!!! OMG, it's still in the house somewhere!!!!! I have a bunch of laundry to do and I can barely make myself go in the laundry room to do it. I got completely dressed and put on boots and a hat (what if it dropped down from the ceiling onto me?!?) when I went back to change the load and was crying, afraid it would come get me. I'm still shaking and I swear I'm going to barf.

What's the life span of a mutant spider? I'll wear dirty clothes before I go back in there. Mac put on his iPod head phones and is staunchly ignoring me.

No cool. Not cool at all. Where can I go live that doesn't have spiders or snakes? Shit.


Dead man walkin'

It's the last day of spring break. I wonder if I can even technically call it the last day of spring break because even if we would've had school all week long I would still have the weekend. OMG- maybe the last day of spring break was 3pm on Friday, which is when school would've ended!

Okay, so not matter the semantics of today, today is the last day of spring break. I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I don't know if I don't want to go back because I have to go to the dentist on Tuesday and I am NOT looking forward to that, or if I just don't want to go back because... well, it's middle school with 7 more weeks of classes to go and the kids are past caring?

I'm also such a procrastinator. I've worked on laundry in dribs and drabs all week long but still have a bunch left and of course, I left it until today. I have one stinkin' chore to do before Daddy-O gets home tomorrow- it involves moving a pile of leaves- and of course, I waited until today. In my defense, I had thought I would do it Wednesday, sort of the middle of break, but it rained and then I had to wait for the yard to dry.... okay, yeah, it sounds lame to me, too.

I had a good week-- saw all the girlfriends who live around here and had some quality girl time. Read at least 2 books; I realize that number is usually higher but... I saw 7 movies at the time of this post (could add a few more to this list today while I'm doing the laundry thing), spent quality time with Mac, had quality alone time, cooked a bit, ate out some, cleaned the kitchen and did one knitting project. I also spent a LOT of time being lazy, playing on the Internet, talking on the phone, and at the library.

All in all... not a bad way to spend a spring break!

So, did I mention it was only 7 more weeks until summer vacation?

Maggie Mae

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I'm it!

I got tagged by Wiley to play a get to know you game. I haven't been tagged in a long while so I'm looking forward to this. And thanks to Wiley for giving me something to write about today!

The rule: list 7 things about yourself, preferably 7 cool or unusual things.

Who am I tagging? All of you, any of you, whomever wants to play!

1) My Brother and sister-in-law are going to have a baby boy in June!!! I'll be an Auntie again to a niece AND a nephew! Can't wait!

2) I like schmaltzy, bad 80s, hair band rock ballads. It's like a bad addiction. Most people walk away when they hear my iPod. Mac refuses to listen to my music in the car. "You Give Love a Bad Name", "Carrie", "More than a Feeling", "I'll be there for You", "Every rose has it's thorn" and "Can't Fight this Feeling." Yup, I'm a sucker.

3) I cannot eat Spaghetti-O's any more because about 5 years ago when I opened the can there was a perfectly formed and pressed spider in the can, lying right on top of the noodles, about as big as a quarter. A brown spider with a tinted orange body from the O's. Since then I have never been able to eat them, or even look or smell Spaghetti-O's without that image and it makes me gag. Seriously, five years later I gag. Mac can't eat them either.

I love to learn stuff so I get stuck on a topic and I buy a bunch a books about it, read a bunch about it, and then write an abstract complete with a bibliography of the material, put it in a file folder and save it for a time when I might need to write a paper. I have abstracts on WWII love letters/ correspondence, Princess Di, Jackie Kennedy O, the absurdity behind the works of southern writer Flannery O'Connor, girl groups of the 1950, Anastasia Romanov, the madness of Poe and his narrators, Amish, and the concept of madness in female characters in turn of the century American Women's authors. Yup, I'm sick.

5) I took piano lessons for 3 years, on and off as a kid, so I learned enough to read music and I can plunk out notes. I really would like to learn to play well, and to also learn to play the guitar.

6) Love is what makes the world go around. I believe in it, want it and it is the best feeling in the world when you have it and it feels devastating when you don’t. Songs have been written about it, movies made, wars fought over it, and it is worth having.

7) I want to be remembered as a fun, happy person who made others smile, raised a beautiful boy child, smiled often, was a good daughter and mother, was a good wife (maybe I will be someday!), followed her whims and heart, was true to herself, laughed too loudly, cried too easily, loved passionately and deeply, and maybe touched someone.

Maggie Mae

Friday, April 9, 2010

XRayGirl: Goddess of hair and manual transmission driving lessons

XRayGirl is a miracle worker on so many levels! First my hair...

I am now no longer officially afraid to leave the house for fear of scaring the elderly and children. She took me to her stylist who cleaned the mess up. She said NO WAY to getting a perm because then I would have nasty, ugly, tight, poodle like curls. She trimmed and snipped and well... frankly, I have no idea what she did but she had to trim a little bit and I suddenly was all fixed- AND I look like I have more hair. I have no idea about that trick of the eye but XRayGirl and I couldn't figure it out but we both agreed that I just seemed to have more hair.

She also snipped enough that I have a head full of natural curls and the stylist gave me some tips to use them. She also said, and I quote, "Now that you have a good base cut, don't get it cut anywhere else but me. I know you want to grow it out. Pigtails by the end of the summer." O-KAY! And while I'm a little old for pigtails, the fact it will be long enough to do that by the end of the summer makes me want to dance!

To top it all off, she fixed the straight cut bangs. Instead of taking any more length off, she textured them, and now they look wispy rather than heavy and blunt. The unibrow bangs are gone!

The stylist also said hair grows quicker in the summer than winter and if I want to help it along, I could take pre-natal vitamins or some vitamin called "hair, nails, something" taken three times a day. Sounds like a plan.

My hair is much better! No more mullet! No more Betty Page bangs! No more "lesbian chic"! No more winning the Joan Jett Look Alike contest! And I have a head full of curls. Interesting look. Not one I'm used too, not bad, but much better than where I started out my Thursday!

And as for me learning to drive a stick shift... Well, first and foremost, XRayGirl is an excellent teacher and she's one of the most patient people I've ever met. She gave good instructions and different suggestions. But I think I might have to admit that driving a manual transmission and doing math are not my strong suites.

Also, I learned that there's lots of swearing and laughter involved in learning to drive a stick shift. No matter how many times I killed it or made the gears grind, she never yelled or made me feel embarrassed; we just howled with laughter!

I popped the clutch. I had trouble finding first- it had to be there somewhere. I wasn't sure how to drive with two feet. I was pretty excited when I finally got the car to start and keep going without killing it. And once I could get going, I had no trouble going from 1st to 2nd to 3rd to 4th and 5th! I'm still a little confused on when to clutch and brake verses just clutching or just braking.

There was one incident where I was at a four way stop on a slight incline. I kept rolling backwards and for some reason I would make a funny face which gave us laughing convulsions. At another stop sign, I killed it about 8 times. 8 TIMES!!!! Before I figured out I was accidentally in third. In my defense it was right next to 1st! We never even went into reverse- that's for another lesson.

I guess when I concentrate the tip of my tongue sticks out the corner of my mouth, which add to the laughter.

So I had an hour lesson and we're going to try again over the weekend. She's brave. Maybe I'll never drive a sports car. Maybe I should stick to automatics or take a bus if no automatics are to be found. I could always walk. Or find a hot guy to drive me everywhere I want to go...


Thursday, April 8, 2010

Doing Nothing on a Wednesday & the adventure up my sleeve for today

Yesterday was one of the best days of my spring break......... I did nothing. I didn't even take a shower or take off my jammies. I laid on the couch most of the day and watched movies, read a book, and napped.

Now it was raining, dark and thundering and lightening, so I watched the storm. Oh I could think of only two things better: 1) having a lie-in with a wonderful man doing the same things but adding sex to the list, or 2) spending the day shoe shopping. Since there's no man there was no sex. Since there's no money, there was no shoe shopping. So I did my third favorite thing to do on a warm stormy day- nothing.

My stack of rented movies was high so I just watched those (Secret Window, Ned Kelly, The Jane Austen Book Club, The Soloist, Mystery Alaska) all day long.

Mac was in the house, in his room, playing video games, Facebooking, and texting. He'd pop down to see what I was doing, say hey, talk for a minute, grab food, and disappear back upstairs. He and I made homemade pizza. We'd never done that together before and we had all the stuff to do it. And we actually did it together. He was like a little kid with Legos, building his pizza. We ended up with three layers of pepperoni and three layers of cheese on this sucker. So now I know when he goes to college he'll be able to make home made pizza, hot dogs, and scrambled eggs.

Oh, I talked on the phone to Curley, to XRayGirl and... a fella I know. I also had a screaming match with the Sperm Donor- well, he was screaming and I was calm and relaxed, which freaks him out even more- the arsehat fucktard. I also played on the Internet. I did a touch of laundry. Talk about the best day...! (Even with laundry and the asshat!)

Oh, and one more thing! I ate chocolate, lots of chocolate! Goddess bless the after Easter candy sales!

I seriously love doing nothing. I like working, sometimes, for the most part, and yes, I do like doing crafts and hobbies, but sometimes doing nothing is perfect. a seriously huge case of doing nothing.

Now I am leaving the house today. First, XRayGirl said she is going to take my hair issue into her own hands. She made an appointment for me with her stylist and, I'm here to tell you, that girl had BEAUTIFUL hair. Stunning! Her stylist has very short hair so XRayGirl thinks her stylist can help me- she can either fix it or give me ways to work with the mess. (But from what XRayGirl repeated her stylist said she's probably gonna have to cut it all off and let me start all over again with a frickin' pixie cut, one more time... Karma/ Dogma hair)

Okay, back to me leaving the house. XRayGirl and I are going with her Granny to an Amish bakery and cheese shoppe. Then I'm going to my hair appointment, and XRayGirl is going with me for moral support. After that--- we're going to *gulp* go driving. She's going to teach me to drive a stick shift. I have no idea how to drive a manual transmission and she's decided to teach me. It would be a good thing for me to learn, right? If nothing else, it'll be good blog fodder. After that might involve booze for both of us- we may need it.

I'll let you know how it all turns out, from the hair to the driving. Maybe we should drive first because then if she pulls my hair out, I won't be bald?

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Bed head all the time...

How fucking hard is it to give a haircut if that's what you were trained to do and have been doing for the last 10 years?

I am so fucking pissed off at the world over this. I had a shaggy bob. You know when you have short hair and you're trying to grow it out? Well I've been trying to grow it out and every single time I go for a TRIM I end up with is all hacked off to bits. It's not because I get to the stylist and change my mind, but because, for some reason, they can't follow directions. I wanted 1/2 inch off and I gave specific directions, of which I will spare you the details, of what my bangs were to supposed to look like. I didn't get anything even remotely close to what I asked for.

I've gone to several stylists and I keep getting shorn. I've been trying to grow my hair out for a year now and I shit you not, it's back to being as short as it was a year ago on the sides and top BUT she kept the length in the back so I have a god damned mullet.

I'm so mad. I look like shit. It's terrible and I hate it. It know it's hair and it will grow back but I've been saying that for a year now. And I'm tired of saying it. I actually looked in the mirror tonight and just sobbed. It's awful. It's short and mullet-y and butch-y and ugly. I hate hate HATE it.

I've made some phone calls and showed some other stylists and I've been given 2 schools of thought on what to do with it. The most popular one is to get a very light body perm on the rollers that are the biggest ones. Apparently this will make me LOOK like I have some body rather than the stick straight-ness and will make it look longer, or bigger or fuller or something. Or just have the back cut short again, to rid the mullet look, and start ALL over again. I fear the perm will equal poodle. And to cut it all off means starting ALL over again.

Can giving a good haircut and listening to the customer be so hard?!?

And the girl who cut it works at the same salon as the woman who did it last time. And here's the funny thing. I went in and said to the NEW STYLIST that the woman whose cut my hair the last 3 times about scalps me and I'm trying to grow it out and I don't understand what part of leave it long she didn't get. I went on and on and gave very specific instructions. Oh, NEW STYLIST said she always leaves client's hair a little on the LONG side because it's easier to take off than put on... blah fucking blah blah blah. And then she whacks it worse than it's been all along.

There's an adorable man that I'm interested in. I'm hoping to see him this summer and I had visions of my hair long enough to pull back- because I think I look prettier, younger, more attractive. BUT no, I won't be close to that. He's seen pictures of me with short and long hair. He says I'm beautiful. BUT I feel MORE pretty (I NEVER feel beautiful!) or at least attractive with long hair and it's just terrible now.

The kids at school are going to eat me alive because of this. They are teens and they aren't always nice and I'm gonna have to suck it up or let them crucify me. And the bad hair has happened so many times I can't even touch my own head without crying over it, let alone act like the kids mean comments don't hurt.

I can't wear bandannas to school for the next month like I did ALL last summer post bad hair cut when I worked ice cream. Our school has a 'policy' so at some point I have to expose my head to the world. I have a few wigs but I don't think I can wear those either- a distraction in the classroom. Guess it doesn't help that the wigs are pink and green and red, rather than a natural hair color.

I'm leaning toward the damn curls. At least there will be some body in it and it won't make me look like a female bubba. Or, as Mac said, "lesbian chic" when he saw the new haircut and asked me "what happened to your head?" Or an extra in the movie the Runaways- I make Joan Jett look like a good hair day, this is so bad.

My hair has usually been my crowning glory. I don't think I'm pretty but I usually have great hair and now... I've not nothing. I just cry and cry over it. I HATE it. I look fucking ridiculous.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Mad Dancing!

How many of you are familiar with the pinnacle of Kevin Bacon's movie career, Footloose? For those of you who lack the knowledge, this slightly corny movie is about a kid who moves into a small town ruled by an iron fisted preacher who won't let people... DANCE! So Kevin Bacon's character named Wren falls in love with the preacher's daughter and they decide to use their friends and Bible quotes and some nice guy who owns a grain mill to host a school... DANCE! And when Kevin Bacon's character Wren gets really mad, and fed up with the town because everyone is picking on his monstrously cool self, he drives away, and in a moment of cheesiest movie history, he slams a cassette into the car cassette tape deck and... DANCES his anger out!

Now, Mac thinks this is the funniest thing. he. has. ever. seen. in. his. life. He also down loaded the song to his iTunes, which happens to be "Never" by a group called Moving Pictures, an obvious one hit wonder, if you could even call them that. And for some reason, he isn't the only teen around here who thinks it's funny- ALL of Mac's buddies think it's hysterical that this kid gets so mad he runs off to... DANCE!

So, yesterday morning, Mac and I are being slugs in the living room and he's dinkin' around on his computer. And he starts playing "Never". This roused me from my slug-fest to see what the hell he's thinking since he usually plays Pink Floyd and Metallica. He tells me how funny everyone thinks the song is. The conversation proceeds:

Mac: yeah, mom, every time I get mad at you, I take off and go DANCE my mad out.
Me: oh really? You go to the city park to do that?
Mac: oh totally yeah. In the big pavilion. All the kids do it.
Me: that'd be something to see.
Mac: Sometimes there are so many of us ready to mad DANCE, I have to wait in line. And I have a collection of half drank glass Coke bottles to smash in the middle of my big mad DANCE number!
Me: got a selection of wife beater shirts I don't know about?
Mac: I totally do, mom. I change into my acid wash jeans right before I go...

Now, for this to be waaaaaaaaaaaaay more meaningful to those of you who have never witnessed this spectacle and for this to make sense, I have FOUND a clip of Kevin Bacon and this scene in its entirety from Footloose. God bless the Internet. Take a look. Laugh. I did!

Mac's mom,

Monday, April 5, 2010

Mac, the Holy One

Yesterday, Easter Sunday mind you, I left the house to return some videos. Mac decided to come along so it was a last minute "hurry up and wait" on him to get himself "beautiful" as well as his iPod, his phone, his head phones, his wallet, and his car keys (I ask you- why does he need all this shit to go 4 blocks? And he wasn't driving. There's no money in his wallet!).

Half way to the video store I holler, "Jesus H. Christ. We're going to the video store to return the videos and guess what I forgot!?!" And I pound the steering wheel a few times for good measure, before getting ready to turn around and go back.

Mac says, "I keep telling you, mother, you can just call me Mac. And what do you expect me and my Holy self to do about it?"

I chuckle and say, "Use some of that Godliness to conjure up the DVDs so I don't have to turn around to go back to get 'em."

Without missing a beat, he says, "I can't. It's Easter Sunday and I've been busy; besides, you're an atheist. Can't do shit for ya."

Mac's mom,

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Worthless Layabout I am

It's already day two of Spring Break Week and my mind is already a blob. Does this happen to other teachers, too?

I don't feel like showering or talking to people. I have a good mind to just lay on the sofa and watch tv and surf the 'net. Anything that doesn't have to do with teenagers, including my own. I thought one day this week I would give him cash and the keys to the car and tell him to go away for the day. Yes, I realize that probably makes me a bad mother and sounds a little hard core, but I am trying to get my lazy alone-ness on!

I'll probably be tired of being a slug before today is over, though. Curley and I have lunch plans for tomorrow, and who knows what else we'll get into? And Mac has to go get his teeth cleaned (he's a sick boy- he's EXCITED about it!) I have to firm up a time to hang with Lilith, whom I haven't seen since Christmas! XRay Girl and I are going to do our thing- whatever that may be... a pedi? Food? Movie? Yes, yes and yes!

I also have some chores to do this week. I want to try and sort of "organize" the garage. I'm afraid if I use the word 'clean', I won't do it. By that same token, I also want to "organize" the attic where I live. Mac and I have to rake up some left over fall leaves from the backyard, too.

In the category of hobbies, I want to finish some knitting projects, my dress, and two quilts.

OMG- when I read this list, I have no idea if I have time to be a slug today. I'll need a vacation from my vacation! I'll need a week of doing nothing after doing all this!

Slugg-ary doesn't sound so bad after all.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Curley was downright mean to me last night. She said, "You're almost 40." I couldn't believe she had the nerve to point that out. I told her i was taking my toys and going home. I told her she might as well tell me I have ugly shoes and my butt looks big in these pants! Almost 40 years old! That cheeky girl. I'm only 38!

Okay, no I'm not really mad at her, I swear. And I guess, I know, that 38 is closer to 40 than what I would like to admit. Ewww!

I've been thinking a lot about age lately, maybe because Mac is going to be 17 in nine days or because there's a man I have an interest in (more about him later!) who's a bit older than I am. Or because I'm almost 40 and this isn't where I wanted to be in my life. It could be any of these things, I suppose, that makes me think of age of late.

Age is interesting, with the limits it sets. For example, Mac wanted to go to Vegas for this 18th birthday because he thought he was going to be old enough to gamble. The legal gambling age in Vegas is 21. He can buy a lottery ticket in the state where were live at age 18 but no gambling in Vegas. He kept banging on about how he would be old enough at age 18 to vote and to be drafted but he couldn't drink or gamble, none of the fun stuff. I reminded him he had a whole year to wait before doing any of those milestone things.

I also think adding to the age thinking thoughts is because Mac is looking at colleges. My baby is looking at universities! How did that happen!?!

I have to keep reminding myself that age is a state of mind- how old do you want me to be? How old do I feel? Sometimes I feel like I'm 17, other times 25 and other times... 101.

One of my favorite movies of all time, When Harry Met Sally, has Sally in tears talking about getting married and kids and time running out. She says to Harry, "And I'm going to be 40." He says, "When?" Sally: "Someday!" He then goes on to point out she'll be 40 in eight years. I used to think that scene was hilarious! I also used to remember when I was 32 and could say that! For some reason, now it doesn't seem nearly as hysterically funny as it used to...

One upside to my age is that asshat fucktard Sperm Donor turned 48 yesterday. He will always be older than me and if his health stays the way it is- poor- and mine the way it is- good, except for the teeth- he'll die before me.

But really! I have my best friend point out that I'm almost 40! I thought I should start counting backwards on my next birthday; I say that all the time, though and for some reason no one else ever seems to remember I'm taking younger birthdays, rather than older ones.

However, this is a week to feel young no matter what. It's spring break! I don't have to go to school. There is something about being on spring break, specifically, that makes me feel young. No trips are planned for me or anything that would involve Florida and beaches, but the idea that I, like most kids (and other teachers) in America, have a whole week off, is awesome. This is a week to feel young!

Even if Curley thinks I'm going to be 40... soon...
Maggie Mae

Friday, April 2, 2010

35 things you really didn't need to know about me but I'm telling you anyway meme

Time for a meme. It's the last day of school, the week before spring break. I'm shattered. I don't think I can handle writing much more than this..............

And thanks to Sunday Stealing for this meme (who ripped it from Please Don't Stop the Music)!

1. How far away is the last person you kissed?

2. Has someone ever told you they would be with you forever?
yes- liar

3. Last person you were in a car with?

4. Any plans for tomorrow?
as of now, nope

5. How long does it take for you to take a shower?
about 20 minutes because i just stand there and relax

6. Best friend or close friends?
yes and yes

7. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
yes- no school, it's a Saturday, it's a weekend, no school for a week!

8. Did you kiss anyone Friday (that would be today)?
not so far, but anything can happen!

9. Ever thrown up in public?
yup- right on a bar

10. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
question 9

11. Who was the last person you talked to?
XRay Girl

12. What is the WORST subject they teach at school?

13. Have you seen anyone lately that you don't get along with?
yes- I teach, remember? I see people daily I don't get along with, but I fake it.

14. What is your favourite colour shirt to wear?
pink or black

15. Have you ever been in a car accident?

16. What's the closest thing to you that's green?
the shirt I'm wearing

17. Where would you like to be right now?
UK (N.Ireland)

18. Write down some lyrics to the song you're listening to?
"there's no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate I'm yours"

19. How many dogs do you have?

20. Is anything bugging you right now?
not really

21. Is life going right for you now?
not really

22. Is there someone you care about more than yourself?

23. What made you laugh today?
Mac being fitted for his prom tux

24. What was the last movie you watched?
The Magnificent Seven- Yul Brynner is freaking HOT!

25. What's the last conversation you had about?
getting ice cream

26. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?
blow drying my hair

27. Do you like your hair long or short?

28. Do you want to see somebody right now?
oh yes!

29. Do you like the rain?

30. Did you have a valentine this year?
sadly, no

31. The last person you kissed needs you at 3 am, would you go?

32. Would you honestly say you'd risk your life for someone else?
yes, for Mac

33. Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you?

34. How do you feel about men smoking?
it's a dirty, gross, disgusting, filthy habit... I would say I'm not a fan and since this meme seems obsessed with kissing, I would have to say that kissing a man who smokes is like licking an ashtray

35. Could you see yourself with someone forever?

Thursday, April 1, 2010


Does anyone know what charges I would face for kidnapping Kool? Her mother is a horrid horrid drunken, druggie abusive bitch and I really don't like her.

I want to take Kool and run. I want to give her her own room, clean clothes, clean clothes that fit her, fix her supper at night and sit at the kitchen table to eat it, to give her easy kid chores, help her with her homework, take her to the mall or out to eat or to the movies, and let her hang around and play video games or rent a video or play music or play board games. I want her to see what "normal" is.

I don't want her to feel like she needs to hang out in the park until dark because her mom's boyfriend is abusive. I don't want her to go to bed hungry, have dirty clothes that don't fit, and to sleep on the floor in the corner of the living room because she doesn't have her own room nor her own bed. I don't want her to take crappy jobs around the questionable neighborhood so she has spending money- for dinner. It would be nice if her mom wasn't drunk and passed out when she got home from school or the abusive boyfriend of mom wouldn't be beating anyone up.

Five steps forward and 37 back. She's passing every subject but math (As in PE and science, Bs in reading, social studies and language, and an F in math- but it's coming up).

She's quiet with me these days. I've never, ever ratted out her secrets to anyone. For her that's more than her telling me so I get her help because the system has failed her time and time again. Trust me. Abuse has been reported and the system failed her. She's one tough kid now and it would take a huge, mean guy to hurt her because she would kill someone who tried again. So she doesn't tell me things as a 'cry for help.' She tells me so someone else knows.

And thinking with my brain and knowing with my heart are two different things, I know. Today my heart hurts for her.

I'm not in any financial position to save her. I want to save her. I'm not sure how much longer she's gonna survive.