In Like A Lion

Today was not a good day.

1. Mac got 4 days of after school detention for shooting off his mouth and using the word shit
2. I did NOT get the job
3. My car broke down last week and I got the $390 bill today
4. I will not be appoint Princess's guardian in June. Long story. It's nothing she nor I did; It's politics and "the system."

Maggie

Teenagers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mac loses his car keys all the time. All. the. time. Daddy-O and I have tried many techniques to help him keep track of them keys. I'm to the point where I want to tie them around his neck.

So, Mac has lost his keys. Usually he says this and I can move 2 items on the bookcase or reach in his coat pocket under his glove and find them. or say, "they're in the bathroom". Or something easy. Mac can't seem to see them right in front of his face, but I generally can locate them.

Mac told me he lost his keys and I was determined to not "help" him find them this time. I've not looked. However, I've let him use mine repeatedly.

I gave some serious thought to grounding him until he found his keys but that's really more of a punishment to me and to Daddy-O than Mac. I thought about grounding him from the car until he finds them but then I become a chauffeur again. Isn't the whole point of being a teenager is driving? And isn't the whole point of being the mom to a teenager is to NOT drive them anywhere anymore? I threatened him within an inch of his life on Monday that he wasn't doing anything Monday until he found them. All to no avail apparently.

All that being said, my "teach him a lesson" laissez faire attitue about his keys bit me in the butt this morning. My school had a 1 hour delay so I rode with a co-worker. Mac's school had a 2 hour delay and I left him the car. Which did me a fat lotta good because HE HAD NO KEYS!!! He sent me a text after I was at school, reminding me of his lack of keys. I told him he better find them.

I got a text back he couldn't locate them still. I was going to make him take local transportation and then if he was late, then tough-noogies.

Daddy-O was the hero of the day!!!!!!!! He actually gave Mac a ride to school and then is going to pick me up (and Mac) after school today. (Thank you dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Then I'm going home and will find the keys. Then I will permanently attach them to Mac's person. It may or may not be painful. Okay, I'm kidding. Sort of.

How many days until he leaves for college?
Mac's mom,
Maggie

Dodged a bullet?

So ITSam and I have been splitsville for a week and a day now.

Over the course of the last week, he's called and text me (misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!) over and over and over again. Oh yes, and don't forget the emails (did I mention the misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!). He professes his undying love for me- over and over and over again. He tells me he loves me, he wants to get back together, he begs, he cries, he waxes poetic about how great we were together, how it was a mistake to end it, blah, freakin', blah. I spend my time trying to not respond to any of it. And I have three email addresses so that's tough! (I thought about posting some of his texts and emails here and hosting an audience participation game. You could all respond for me and the best response gets a prize..... too much meanness from me to do that?)

I have spoken with him once. And that was when he was sobbing and blubbering and begging me to take him back- last Wednesday night. he made it all of two days. The creepy part was when I said no and was ready to hang up and he used a nasty voice- from tearful to evil in 1.2 seconds.

I also got a few nasty (mean) texts from him but I was nasty back.

It was pretty quiet over the weekend. He didn't contact me at all, minus one "miss you" text to which I didn't respond.

Here's the funny part: he's been telling me he loves me and wanting to get back together, reminding me he loved me so much he wants to marry me, BUT I found out that he's registered on an online dating site and has been active on it daily!!!!

Can you feel the love?

I read his ad and it's fairly accurate. I could add something things to the list though, but I bet it wouldn't garner him dates if ladies read: "has erectile dysfunction, been evicted more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, was arrested once for stalking ex-wife, son probably belongs to another man, I lie often, and am so desperate for a relationship that I just dumped my 'almost fiancee' 8 days ago but am on a dating site now. " (I could add lots more to this list but... I won't do that here. I think I'm being publicly mean, just enough. More would amount to me being a first rate "bitch") He went from get married to a dating site in less than 8 days. Wow.

Now I know why I haven't heard from him: he's got all his online dating emails and women to chat with instead of me. I hear you all sighing in relief.

When I said I felt he was a man who was so desperate to be loved and to be in a relationship that he would "love" anyone, I think I was right. I told XRayGirl this the day after he said "I love you" the first time and she thought I was being cynical. When I told her about the emails/ texts/ calls and then this dating site thing, she admitted she thought I was right. She also said, "You dodged a bullet." Ain't that the truth.

The one thing that has me just a little freaked out is that when I told my Photographer Friend she said I should make sure I'm safe. She "stalker" thing has her bothered and she said she "got a weird vibe" about him regarding that. His office at Alcatraz is in the same building I close at night when I do my night receptionist work. She's worried about me being there at night in case he would be. Now that seed is planted in my brain and I'm now the aforementioned a little freaked out. I honestly don' think he'd do anything to me, but I guess that what Ted Bundy's girlfriends thought. I'm not sure if she planted a seed that worries me or if I should legitimately be worried. I also work this coming Friday night.

And this is why I don't date. Some of it really has me sad, sort of; maybe disappointed. At one time I thought I would like to be friends with him, but that cannot obviously happen now. And it really is a bummer to know he didn't really love me- who knows if he really liked me even?- that he only needed (wanted?) a warm human to hold, regardless. I wasn't special, I was just there.

By the way, if he DOES call me and profess his undying love again, I plan on asking him how he can love me and want to marry me AND be on a dating site. Unless you give me some clever ideas of things I should say instead...

In the long run, regardless, I'm glad it's over,
Maggie

PS- geez, I just re-read this post and I see I gave you all sorts of homework assignments in here... (or you can see I asked for all sorts of advice...)

Why I don't say the Pledge of Allegiance

I am not un-American nor. I am patriotic. I'm just not one who says the pledge aloud. It also doesn't mean I don't respect service men. I do respect them and I do think we need them for our survival and protection, and I am thankful there are men and women who lay doe their lives for my freedoms.

When the pledge is said I do stand, I do face the flag, and I do take my hat off if I'm wearing one. I'm quiet and respectful. I stand at "parade rest" while it's being recited. I just don't say it.

I don't like being told to be patriotic on command (and it has nothing to do with the line "One nation under God..." either!). I'm not sure if I can make this make sense. Every single day, before the announcements, we make the kids stand, face the flag, place their hands on their hearts, and say it. It becomes so mote, such a habit that it seems to lose its significance and importance. The kids look bored, roll their eyes, just stand and you can see that they are about a million miles away, and not thinking of the importance of their country.

Now, on Patriot Day, Sept. 11, when the announcements came on and we were asked to stand for the pledge, we also were told what Patriot Day was and he read a story from 9-11 over the PA. By the time he was done, tears were rolling down my face and I said the Pledge. It did mean something to me that day.

I know it should mean something to me every single day. I do know. I really do.

Maybe it's because I'm in a school setting and the Pledge is squeezed between the daily silent reading and the sports announcements. And I'm charged with MAKING kids be quiet, to stand, to not talk, to not mess around, to not pick their noses... you get my drift. No other work place, other than maybe military or government related places and I'm guessing here, makes you stand and say the Pledge.

I also don't like being told to pray, for example. I don't like ritualistic recitation at public events.

I guess this was on my mind today because it just seems like saying the Pledge in a public high school is forced on the kids, like so many other things. And today as I watched the kids during "pledge" time I was disappointed that they didn't care. It was meaningless to them.

I do not want to participate in a public ritualistic recitation when it means nothing to me, only because I'm told it's 9:50am and time to day it. I want to say it because it means something to me. While I understand it SHOULD mean something to me each day, and in my heart of hearts, I don't feel the need to say it unless I want to do so.

And it should mean something.

Maggie

Break week

At Alcatraz we are in the middle of our third summer session and I'm teaching Am and PM classes, all boys again in both sessions, and this time I'm teaching "Film and Life Lessons." During the third summer session we went to classes for a week, had a week off, and now are back for the last week of the session- all sessions are two weeks long.

I'm not liking this session as much as I have the last two and I think the break in the middle of it really throws it all off. My stride is broken, my juju is off. Or something.

The week before the break the kids fell into two categories: the kids who were excited about break because they got homes passes, and the kids who were having to stay at Alcatraz all week long and had to be holed up in their houses with nothing to do and at the mercy of their houseparents entertaining them. Or the wardens. But regardless of how they were to spend the week off, the kids were all outta whack; mouthy, negative attitudes, complaining... just off sync. I haven't had a group of kids like that yet. I've had one or two but this time I have a whole room full of kids like that.

Now that the vacation break week is over, the kids know summer is on the downward spiral and that their regular classes are going to start soon. They're all "blah". I realize their circumstance could have something to do with it, but the other two summer sessions were more... spunky as far as the groups of kids were concerned.

Maybe I just had better rapport with the other kids in the morning classes? My current morning group is certainly an assortment; an assortment of icky! I really like one kid but the rest of sort of... well, I realize why they've been sentences to Alcatraz, so I guess I could ask myself what do I expect? One kid is a real smartass and I've put up with his mouth everyday. Punishment doesn't deter him, either. One kid is a kid I busted three weeks ago for swearing at me in the hallway and then he landed in my class and he's miserable. I'm not so fond myself. Then there's the kid who gives me a pain, the only one who's been in my face. It's just a crummy group of kids in the AM. I'm glad it's been a summer session without incident, of course, and I know it could be much, much worse, but overall, these morning kids are really blah!

I completely *heart* my afternoon group. They are lots of fun, and pretty sweet. They go with the flow. They like to talk but not about the Alcatraz gossip but about life in general. It's nice to come back from lunch to this group of sweeties.

I'm curious as to what the fourth, and last, session will be like. I'm going to do the film/ life lesson again for both morning and afternoon groups. I've requested kids I've had before so who knows what could happen? I don't think it will be too taxing on me, but if they could be cheerful it would be nice. I hope saying that didn't curse myself. I do like teaching there, and I like the kids. I just have an odd AM assortment, I think.

But MY time, unlike that of my students, at Alcatraz is coming to an end. And then who knows?

Mags

Life is a game of "whack-a-mole" & I am the mole

• In the last few days, I had an incident at school with a classroom teacher so I can't go into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I did something that made the teacher mad. I apologized. He made a big deal of it but it backfired and he got his own ass in a sling because everyone found out he wasn't doing HIS job, and I was. Which he's taking out on my special ed. kids, AND me.
  
• The boarder incident was with the aforementioned teacher
• My mouth is still sore from my dental work last week.
  
• Yesterday I was told Mac needs $6,000.00 of dental work done- it's a damn long explanation and a rather gross one, but that's the short version= $6 grand
• I've gained weight.
• Daddy-O just told me to shut up; I sort of deserved that.
• There are black ants the size of golden retrievers living in the dishwasher; don't be a smart ass and just try and drown them because the "clean" dishes end up with ant body parts on them and you have to run the dishwasher again
• Apparently my subscription to Entertainment Weekly wasn't renewed like I thought
  
• The laundry room ceiling leaked all over the clean clothes that were hanging or folded in the laundry basket, requiring me to wash and dry and fold them all. over. again.
• And I haven't had sex in approximately 408 days.
  
• And my check engine light came on.... the check engine light on the car, not on me. The car's check engine light came on, which is never a cheap thing. Oh shit!