Think Kit Day 25: Merry Christmas

Think Kit: Share a photo from your year that highlights giving, thankfulness, traditions, or finding peace.

My son, my niece, and my 2 nephews at our traditional family Christmas gathering. I'm thankful for them, and the hope I have for the future lies with them which gives me peace. They're my family and I give thanks for them.

 *I didn't actually write this post today but have been back logging post to catch up on the topics. I'm going to finish this project no matter what!

Think Kit Day 14- good advice? valuable lessons? Yes and Yes!

Think Kit #14: Did you get any good advice or learn a valuable lesson this year? Was it expected or unexpected, easy or tough? Share what you learned.

Lesson/ advice #1: This is a year that I received lots of good advice but, at times, I had to figure it out on my own. I've been in a rocky on again- off again relationship. My friends and family fall firmly into 2 camps: walk away or try. Most are in the walk away group. This advice comes blanketed a lot nicer than "run for the hills" but that's the general gist. And though  this topic has been talked to death with my girlfriends, as women are wont to do, I seem to be finally realizing I should take their advice and just leave. I've been single for almost 18 years (OMG I can't believe my divorce was that long ago!) and I've had various serious relationships in that time, but nothing has stuck. And even though I'm 42 and sometimes lonely (and tired of doing it all by myself) it doesn't mean I should stay in a relationship that's unsatisfying or unhealthy. And even though I think about the fact that at my age, single women have a better change of being killed by a terrorist than getting married, it's okay to be single (though preferably not killed by a terrorist). I'll be fine. I intellectually KNOW this but sometimes my heart doesn't understand it.

Lesson/ advice #2: The other valuable lesson is that tough love is necessary and hard, especially when it comes to your child. My 20 year old son is making terrible life choices. Enough said; I can't fathom typing those details here, or anywhere. But the resonating voice is that of my brother. My brother and I aren't "close" but we do have each other's backs, even as adults. And when he learned of some of the crap Mac was doing/ pulling/ going though, when my Bro heard of Mac's poor choices and saw how I was letting if effect me, how I was beating myself up, how I was or wasn't coping, he said the best thing: "Mags, you can't help that Mac doesn't behave how he was raised. He knows better. You did your best. He's doing this to himself." And he is. And I have to stand by and let my adult child do what he's doing.

Ahhh 2013, what a rough year. If I were superstitious, I'd wonder about the "13" of it all...

It's a hard knock life,
Maggie

At the end of a lonely street called Heartbreak...

I've had my heart broken more times than I can possibly think about in one sitting. Sometimes I think I've had my heart broken more times than I deserve, actually. Some because I make bad man choices and other times when it all seems right, even now after years of reflection, it still doesn't seem to make a lot of sense with some break ups. But I certainly know what heartbreak feels likes; it's not a stranger.

So it was a bittersweet moment with Mac got his first real girlfriend. I knew the odds of her being "the one" for his entire life were slim but on the other hand I was happy that he had a girlfriend. It was his first serious relationship and he is an adult (Okay he's 20 yrs old. By law that's an adult, but it doesn't SEEM like he's an adult!). In my experience with first love comes a first heartbreak, usually, at some point.

She was sweet and he really liked her. They had been just friends for about a year and then started dating. They dated for 4 months (maybe more but I'm not sure when 'friend' became 'girlfriend' since he doesn't live with me any more!).

And yesterday she broke up with him. She was was mean and bitchy about it, according to Mac (I wasn't there to witness this, of course!).

No heartbreak I've ever experienced is like the heartbreak you have in watching your child have his heart broken. First love gone. I feel devastated for him. He flip-flops between mad and sad, angry and "screw her" and wanting to cry to saying "it's no big deal". Deep down I know it's hurting him.

And there's nothing mom can do to make this better. 


Mac's Mom,
Maggie

Out of sorts about Mac being out of sorts

Sometimes when I see Mac I feel all out of whack afterwards. He's my son and I love him but I never know how a visit with him is going to go and sometimes, frankly, I dread these visits.

Sometimes he's great: happy, go-lucky, jovial, funny, charming and just full of personality. Other times he's mean, arrogant, and just a real SOB. Then there are the third times, which are like tonight.

He's tired and seems down. He doesn't really complain about stuff but drops enough breadcrumbs that something isn't entirely right. I never know what to do in that situation. I try not to push the issue because I'm not sure I want to know the answers but then I feel guilty. I dunno.

Mac appears to be working hard to get his shit together. He works LOTS of hours, taking on more than he's scheduled. Other than that, I'm not sure what's happening in his life. He has some scary friends and he isn't really fiscally responsible.

Oh, I don't know. I wish I knew what I was trying to write here. I guess since he was here tonight and things didn't seem quite right, and he seemed tired and maybe unhappy, he's on my mind. I thought maybe writing this down would help me make sense or sort it all out. Not.

 Muddled Mags

Can't Drive 55...

The car saga continues from yesterday...

So I have my new car, Ms. Hepburn, and Mac is driving the Malibu, aka 'The Blue Goose'.

At 3am my phone rang and it was Mac. In my 41 years on Earth, I've learned that no phone call at 3am is a good thing. And this time wasn't any different (though it could certainly be worse!).

Mac said a deer hit him and he wanted to know what he should do. After making sure everyone in the car was fine and that they were all sober in case we needed to call the police, I determined, from HIS description, that he should drive the car the 1 mile to his friend Nick's house. I offered to come get him and leave the car sit but he said it was drivable.

The next day I called the insurance company- State Farm- and told them what happened and they told me to drive it to the local Chevy garage to get an estimate. They said since it was drivable we could make an appointment and then they would give us a loaner car from the garage or a rental while the repairs were being done,

Meanwhile, it's daylight and Mac takes the car to Daddy-O's house and they determine it really isn't drivable. Mac takes it to the garage who confirms. I call the insurance office back who then orders a rental car, which gets dropped off at Daddy-O's in a few hours. So far I'm thrilled with State Farm.

Except the rental car company calls me and tells me that my child can't drive the rental car because he's not 25. Well shit. I am not going to let him drive Ms. Hepburn to deliver pizzas so I flat out broke the rules and let him drive the rental car, under penalty of his death if he so much as breathed crooked in it!

Three days pass and the garage calls and tells us that 'The Blue Goose' is officially totaled. Well, shit again. And I am not kidding, within 30 minutes of hearing from the garage, State Farm calls me to tell me that I have the rental car for 7 days. And they give me 2 price options for the car: one cost for giving them the car and a lower cost if I want to keep the car. I was told I didn't need the title if I went with the lower.

I didn't have the title. Okay, so the long story with the title is that I the woman I bought the car from... well, around the time I paid it off her husband died and then I moved back to Civilization and I just forgot about it. I wasn't sure I could even find the woman to get the title. And I didn't know anything about titles and cars so I thought "big deal" and took the lower price.

So then I had to worry about getting Mac a car in 7 days. But it wasn't that easy.

State Farm called me back and said I would have to give my agent a copy of the title to get the check. WTF? I told this person what I was told about not needing the title and was told that was a mistake. I said since I had to have the title, I wanted the higher amount and they could have the car- if I could find the title.

So, to make a long story longer, I did some research and found the woman. I called her and I explained the situation. She was willing to meet me at the DMV near her house, an hour from me.

But it's still not easy. She lost the title. Okay, though shouldn't be a big deal, right? We can just get a replacement. Then we discovered her dead husband's name is on the title so she had to have an original birth certificate. Okay, she has that. And then we discover a typo. I. am. not. kidding. Their last name is Jones and my name is O'Sullivan. The title had the lien holder's name as Pat and Sarah O'Sullivan. All Sarah's ID is Jones as is the death certificate of her dead husband- which is good since their last name is JONES. So we had to get the DMV to give a replacement title with the correct name. On the Tuesday night before Thanksgiving. Before the rental car is up on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Of course it didn't happen. It took three trips to the DMV and a stack of paperwork and a million phone calls and a bunch of other shit. And the Thanksgiving holiday.

I begged State Farm for a few more days on the rental car and they refused because it's "policy" to only give 7 days. I argued that they should give me at least 2 more days since of my seven, one was a holiday and one was a Sunday- still the answer was no.

While I'm juggling all the crap with the DMV I found a used car in my price range at the same place I bought Ms. Hepburn. It was a '96 Lumina.  It had less miles and was in really good shape even though it was older. It was the best I could do. Thankfully, I explained to the dealership what was going on and they were more than happy to hold the car until I could straighten out the mess with the title.

Finally, I get everything straightened out with the DMV but I don't have the title because it will take 10 days to process. I get a SIGNED letter from the DMV saying the situation is taken care of and the title will be mailed. I arranged for the title to be mailed directly to my agent. I signed a legal release giving the car to State Farm. I did all this extra because I was told their total loss department would give me the check before receiving the paperwork. And of course they didn't.

So we had no money, no rental car, and no replacement car. Mac's roommate let him drive his car for a few days. Mac did some kitchen work for a few, and was lucky enough to have a couple days off so he didn't need a car. Ms. Hepburn didn't have to deliver a single pizza- thankfully.

And did I mention that while State Farm won't give me a check or more rental care time but they hauled 'The Blue Goose' away the day I accepted the higher price. That's right- they took possession of the car and gave me nothing for 2 weeks. Oh, I guess we could make the argument that State Farm had to pay lot rental to the junk yard, but gee, guess what? The Chevy garage- where I bought Ms Hepburn and was buying Mac's new car- agreed to let the Malibu sit as long as necessary since all this was going on. State farm could've let my car sit and used the money they were paying for lot rental on a rental car. Nice, huh? Very poor customer service, I fell.

The title comes, finally, and I get the paperwork taken care of, and finally sign the paperwork for Mac's new car. Mac gets the car.

All's well that ends well.

And I told Mac to stay away from those damn deer.

The Bureaucratic Paperwork Queen,
Mags

Round, round, get around, I get around

I had to get a new car. I don't have a bunch of money or anything to suddenly handle this but it was necessary.

Mac got a job delivering pizza, which I've mentioned before. He borrowed a car from X-Ray Girl and was trying to save money to buy one of his own. X-Ray Girl needed her car back sooner than she anticipated so now Mac had no car. Daddy-O and I had a discussion and decided to just make a few calls to see if I could find a car for Mac and we would help him make payments, thinking we could find a 'clunker' and between the three of us we could help him make a $100 a month payment, or something like that.

Well, after a few phone calls and driving through car lots, it came to pass that I could get a car!!!!! I could afford a payment! I was able to do a 2 year lease on a 2012 Chevy Cruze! Wow! Yay!

I love, love, love this car. It's the first new car I've ever had. I love driving it. It's so much fun and nice. I have power locks and doors that work. I have a keyless remote! AND I have a remote starter which is one of the coolest things ever. I also have a trial subscription to XM radio which I think I would sacrifice drinking Starbucks to pay for that each month- I swear that's a dream, a luxury. I love this car.

And since I have this great, fabulous, awesome new car, I thought it should have a name. The Malibu is/ was affectionately called "The Blue Goose." So I had to name this baby. But what? Ah the choices. A boy or a girl? And then it had to be perfect and befitting. It had to fit her and me. She's sleek and classy but fun and has a zippy personality. She runs quietly and gets the job done. She's popular and well loved. What better name than.... *drum roll please!*... Ms. Hepburn!

Yes, I call my car Ms. Hepburn: when she's being playful and sassy she could be Katherine and when she's quiet and classy she could be Audrey. My car, the Ms Hepburn. She and I will rule the world!

Oh yeah... then I gave Mac the Malibu, aka "The Blue Goose." He then had a car to drive. It seemed all issues were solved.

Until he was driving one night and was hit by a deer.

If you ever wondered if life can be easy, the answer to that would be no. So we have a new car, a totaled car and a kid who needs to deliver pizza.

I'm not going to finish this saga now; that way I'm forced to be back tomorrow to finish the rest of the story!

Crusin' around,
Mags



And you can read about my new Greyhound dog here!

What are they teaching kids these days?

Mac and his buddy moved into their first apartment and they pay rent weekly. Today is the roommate's turn to pay. He called me mid day today to see if I would help him. He doesn't have a bank account so he can't write a check for his portion of the rent and needs to pay with a money order. But he didn't know how to get a money order or what to do with one- and he wanted me to help him.

Ok-ay....

I went to the apartment to pick him up. (By they way, I dropped off mac' clean laundry and helped unpack a few boxes while I was there. And the Roommate was AMAZED at how much space they had in the living room without boxes piled in the middle. Well, duh!)

We went to an ATM to get cash since money orders can't be purchased any other way. He couldn't get any cash; he said the balance said he had money but the ATM wouldn't give him cash. I suggested he call the number on the back of the card to see the problem. He tried and it said he had enough money. We went to a bank across the street, he went in and a few minutes later was back out. He couldn't get cash off his card inside either. I suggested he call back again and press "0" until he reached a person. He did and explained the situation. He was told he has a daily cash limit and the amount he wanted would push him over. He managed to take out just enough and put it with the cash he already had.

Okay- crisis averted.

We went to a gas station and I told him to just ask the cashier for a money order in $*** amount. He said okay and then waled away and then came back asking me, "aren't you going in with me?" Uh, sure.

Did I mention he's 19 years old and did a semester of college, works a full time job, and has at least a high school diploma?

Money order in hand, I launch into teacher mode and explain to him what to fill out. Where he had to write in the landlord's name, he asked me what it was. I couldn't remember and neither could he. I told him to call hi landlord and ask to whom he should make out the money order. He didn't have the number- I did and gave it to him. (He said he remembered I told him and Mac both to program the number into their mobiles but he forgot). He called and got the information and finished filling it out. He put it in the envelop I made him grab from the apartment.

I started driving to the drop off site and Roommate was freaking out because he couldn't remember where to deliver it. I told him the address and he was "ohhhhhhhh". Finally, we get there and I show him the box where to put the money and then I took him home.

I'm amazed at what he didn't know: how to fill out a simple money order, how to BUY a money order, or how to handle a bank mess up. I asked him what he would've done had I not been there and he said he would've just waited until tomorrow to try again. I reminded him he wouldn't been charged $25 per day late and then had to deal with the landlord...

He said from now on if he didn't know something, he was calling me since I know everything.

Why didn't he learn any of this stuff in a life skills class? Or from his parents?

Monday could be a deja vu for me when Mac has to pay his portion of the rent, and he and I will do this all over again... maybe. I can hope not. I hope he's a bit smarter. For some reason, I'm not confident.

Mags

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's Movin' Out!

Mac moved out-- again. But this time for real. Or "for reals" at the kids say nowadays. Anyway...

Mac moved out last summer in a hissy fit moment and it lasted not even 2 weeks and he came home. He's now working full time and he loves it. He's been there for 3 months (approx) and yesterday he and his buddy decided to get the heck out of the nest and they flew the coup to their own apartment.

It's clean, it's affordable, it's really cool, it's in a pretty okay neighborhood, and it's theirs. All utilities are included except for phone/cable and Internet. The Landlord seems nice and the lease seemed fair. It has awesome hardwood floors and neat woodwork. I'm actually a little jealous.

Mac moved 2 nights ago. Well, if you can call it moving when you own nothing but clothes, movies, books, video games, and a TV. The other kid is in the same situation. But it's their place and they are so happy and pretty proud- as they should be. Someone is giving them a couch. Mac acquired a new bed (can you believe his sperm donor GAVE HIS AWAY????????????????? Oh, Mac was sleeping on a spare ) and they're going to the thrift store on Saturday to see about acquiring a chair and a coffee table. And pots and pans.

I'm hoping this all works out for the best for both of them because if not, they're stuck. With each other and the one year lease. And because I want good things for both boys, of course!

Now I can runaway and join Europe... or the circus!
Mags

Mac's Job

Since I'm on a writing about jobs kick, I thought I would let everyone know that Mac has a job and he loves it. He's working for a national pizza chain as a delivery driver and a cook. He's getting about 35-38 hours a week. He usually works around 4 or 5pm and works until closing, which is about midnight-1am, depending on the day of the week. (these hours still allow him to party like a rock star with his friends, all night long, and then he can sleep it off during the day. or I assume he does this because he rarely ever comes home at night after work unless it's just to change out of his uniform.)

He borrowed a car from XRay Girl and he's paying insurance on it as well as gas. I don't know what he'll do about buying one but that's his issue, not mine. He gets tips to put gas in the car every night and also gets a pay check every 2 weeks. With his first check he paid me money he owed me, and what he owed Daddy-O, so that was a good thing.

One perk he gets is a free meal every shift me works, which is good because that's one less time he's eating (and making a mess) at home. He also gets 50% off if he goes there to eat when he's not working.

He's been working there for 4 weeks right now. That's a positive thing. He's gone almost all the time which is also good- for him and for me (and my dad).

He has a loooooooooooooooong list of everything he wants to buy and he's talking about getting an apartment with a buddy or two, which would also be good- maybe also add to the "teach him responsibility" thing.

He's sitting out this semester of college to work, and with the hours he's working, he could take a second job if he wanted- he said he's "thinking" about it.

There's the possibility he can work into cooking all the time and won't have to drive, putting the wear and tear on the car, which would be good, and he seems to hope this happens.

I hope he keeps liking it.

I hope the money keeps flowing.

I hope he buys a car and moves in with his friends.

I hope he's happy.

Mac's mom,
Mags

Tough love

Mac's life had been falling apart since last October. He got kicked out of school. He came home and I laid down the law. He went to see a therapist, which didn't do a lot of good. He refused to see a medical doctor to get any sort of prescription like Prozac to help him.

He enrolled at a local community college and got a part time job. He seemed to be okay for a bit.

Then he lost the job. He did shitty at school.

At the beginning of summer, he thought about joining the military. He applied for a few jobs. He basically went into hiding from his family and stayed with his friends for days on end, coming home in the middle of the night to shower and grab some food.

About a month ago, now, he moved out and in with friends. Things here were tense and I just said here are the rules, follow them is one choice or move out is the other choice. He moved out.

It didn't go well. Things for him went from bad to worse and since he still didn't find a job it was sucky. He got into a fight with the roommates and after he slept in the park for a night, he finally called hi sperm donor for help.

And that $%!&*(%(@# Sperm Donor jerk didn't do anything. He listened to Mac and lectured him for several hours and heaped a bunch of guilt on him. Then he told him he could couldn't stay with his family since he was such a mess.

So Daddy-O and I let him come back. Mac knows this is the last time. So...

Yesterday Mac is I could give him a ride. I drove him to about 25 places to pick up applications. Today he filled out about 20 of them while I was at school and then after school I drove him back to turn them all in. I was amazed at the progress! And it garnered him an interview as the local Pizza Hut.

His plan for today is to follow a lead on a factory job which has about 4 steps to even get the interview. And he's going to finish the rest of the the paper apps and I'm going to give him a ride to drop those off. And he said he wants to do some laundry. This is all his plan and his progress.

Tomorrow he's going to a local job placement agency and has his interview.

He has about 15 places online he's going to apply for over the weekend. And on Monday he said he's going to call all the places he's applied this week.

This is his plan. I hope he follows through. Because I don't want to have to follow through if he gives up.

He seems to really want to change and he really, really wants a job. I wish I had a connection to hook him up with a position just so he could have a chance but I don't. But I appreciate he's really trying. And I really hope something comes out of all his efforts. I don't know how long he's going to be able to hold onto the threat of hope that he'll get a job.

By the way, if any of you want to take a chance on a kid and have a legit offer, I'll make sure he gets there and he will work his ass off.

Parenting is hard.
Mags

Random Stuff on a Tuesday

Got my hair trimmed because it's grown so quickly. My stylist was just chatting away with me and she ran the clippers over the back of my hair and suddenly stopped and realized we 'didn't do that last time' but it was a little late for that now. My hair is REALLY short now. Yikes! More Gennifer Goodwyn short than Katie Holmes short.

And speaking of Katie Homes, does anyone else think "it's about damn time" that she divorces Tom Cruise and gets away from his mind control whako-ness?

And speaking of clippers, my household is in an uproar looking for Daddy-O's hair clippers. Mac uses them to give himself a haircut last week and Daddy-O helped him. Mac said Daddy-O took the clippers back and Daddy-O thought he gave the clippers to Mac. We've turned the house upsidedown looking for those suckers in all the obvious places and some not.

Does anyone else just LOVE Subway?

Is anyone else going to watch the new show on CBS this fall called Sherlock?

Does anyone else just love hotel sex?

I'd love to learn how to use Pinterest. Still can't figure that sucker out.

I've been thinking it would be cool if I could operate a Mac Book laptop.

Daddy-O and I went to a Kroger Market Place which is a cool twist on the super store idea but BETTER. It has furniture and home stuff. We found a "painting" on canvas in the lobby and after I finally found a clerk and made her scan it, we found it was $30. This thing usually retails for $80, and it's about 4x5 feet and totally cool. I grabbed it and had them hold it at the cusstomer service desk; hey, with that discount it HAD to be bought!!!!

It seems the new trend in the area I live is to now NOT find out the gender of the baby. I know all these pregnant women, or women who've very recently had babies, and no one is finding out the boy or girl answer. And just a few years ago, everyone was finding out the gender as soon as it was possible. Interesting. I don't care either way, but I think trends are interesting.

I want to have a Bernese Mountain Dog instead of a baby. Naming it will be just as fun!

I don't care what anyone says; Charlie Sheen is just hot and still sexy.

Today was a super busy day at work. Since we have tomorrow until Monday off for the 4th holiday, and then I'm going to be at a conference from Monday thru Thursday and then we have our July Recess until the last day of July, I won't be back at school for a MONTH! Go me! however, this does mean I had about a million things to do today. I made a to-do list and crossed off every single item! And for the first time EVER, I have to say that every single library book was returned!!!!!!!! I didn't have to go to the kids' res halls or do locker searches. Kids brought them back. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weather sucks and I hate it. The heat is killing me. And it's only early July; it's going to be a very long, hot, miserable summer.

My phone is telling me I have very little storage data left. I thought I'd delete stuff and there's all this Sprint shit I can't get rid of but I never use it like the football and NASCAR app. Nor do I Facebook and I can't delete it either. It's taking up valuable space and it just pisses me off that because it's part of the "phone company's promo" stuff, I can't remove them.

Mags

Vroom- vroom!

I've decided, right or wrong, that I'm going to buy a car and let Mac use it. Please note I said "use" not give.

My theory is this: if I get a reliable used car, pay 3 months of insurance on it, and then give him gas money, and he's only allowed to drive it for job searching, then maybe he'll get a job. And then he can take over the gas and insurance payments.

I told him this, and said I would do it for the months and if he didn't have a job at the end of three months, then I was taking the keys, cancelling the insurance and, basically, throwing him out of the house.

I even found a cool car: a red 4 door Pontiac Grand Prix- Mac's favorite car and in my price range. It was for sale for all over 24 hours and when he and I went for a test drive, it was sold. Mac and I were equally super bummed. I talked to the guy and he fixes up cars and is pretty popular around this area and he said when he got another car in my price range he'd give me a call. Mac's decided it will "never happen" and he just wants to give up.

What a butthead!

Still looking for a reliable vehicle,
Mags

Spending time with Mac CAN be fun... I'm as surprised as you are!

I can't remember the last time Mac and I actually spent any sort of quality time together that didn't involve screaming, yelling, tears, the police or a therapist until last night! Holy cow- he and I spent 5 whole hours together and never said a cross word and we even laughed! We joked! We did tricks! Okay, no tricks, but we did laugh, joke around, talk and just had a generally good time.

I had to get a haircut and he went along and we listened to music and chatted. We had Subway and talked more. We saw a movie- Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp- and both agreed it wasn't too bad and was fun, and then we had a nice drive home, talking and visiting and I dropped him off at a friend's house for the evening. It was a pleasant surprise.

I have missed him. it's weird I know. Who misses hanging out with their kids? He and I were always close and always o much alike and we did like some of the same things but we were different enough to keep it interesting. He's a smart kid and can be easy and fun to talk to. I just really miss connecting with him, and spending time with him in a fun good way.

As a single mom (or one who's been divorced for 16 years, since Mac was 3 years old) it was always he and i against the world. On so many occasions we did things together, just the two of us: going to movies, the zoo, concerts, shopping, bowling, road trips... he was always up for an outing or an adventure. Since the end of his junior year of high school, we haven't connected like that. I know that stuff happens in life, and kids grow up, get their own lives, make their own friends, walk to the beats of their own drummers, leaving their but I always thought Mac and I would be "tight" as the the kids say, but we haven't been at all for the last couple years, with this last year being a parental/ child nightmare.

So last night was like a big old flashback for me, to the good and fun times I've had with Mac. it was good. Wish I could have lots more of these but I'll take what I can get!

Mags

Major League Baseball will not be recruiting us any time soon

Mac and I share the attic and last night he was picking stuff up to head out with some friends, waiting for a ride, while I was sitting in bed reading. We were talking (actual chatting and not yelling). I was also eating left over Easter candy and asked if he wanted a mini-Reese Peanutbutter Egg; of course he said SURE- I mean, who wouldn't want one?

He was standing a good.... 25 feet from me. I was sitting under a slanted ceiling. There were ceiling fans, and between us a lamp. And he was sitting and I sorta couldn't see him very well, mostly just his hair. I told him I toss one over but to beware. It went about 10 feet and smacked the side of his computer. This was the worst throw in history- or so I thought. We laughed and he got it from the floor, and went back to where he was sitting. He asked for another and I attempted another toss. This one smucked the ceiling and landed on the floor at the foot of MY bed so it traveled a whole 5 feet. I was about hysterical and Mac got that one and then sat on my bed and thought he would try his aim, just to see if he could hit his queen sized bed on the other end of the entire attic, which runs the length of our house.

Mac wasn't much better. He managed to bounce it off his laundry hamper and down 2 stairs. The beds are on the far left of the room and the staircase is on the far right! This was completely in foul ReeeseCup Territory. We were both laughing to the point of tears, which probably didn't help matters any. His second one went on the floor in the middle of the room; he blamed it on the fact it was one that was already thrown and it had "smushed trajectory" working against his throwing arm. I told him one more and he managed to tattoo that sucker right into the center of his bed. It only took 5 tries before it reached it's destination.

All were a bit crushed, but still entirely edible. And lots of needed laughs were had... squishy candy and giggles with my kids. Cool.

Mags

Post birthday

Mac's birthday celebration started out very rocky yesterday, with what was a misunderstanding but Mac attacked me verbally rather than just ask what's up. After we got passed that mess, it was a weird day.

I worked but when I got home Mac wanted the car immediately to go see a friend. I let him take it since it was his birthday... on the condition he would be home by 7pm for dinner- a dinner I might add that was his favorite: chicken parmesan. And I decided to give him cash rather than a gift because that's what he wanted. (I was going to get him a video game he wanted but the store was out and it was easier for him to get it himself, later, I guess).

I fixed dinner and made a cake and Mac never showed up. Instead I got a text from him that said he was doing something "nostalgic with Sam. Will be late. Sorry." Fine. Screw it. Daddy-O and I ate without him, and I got everything cleaned up, about an hour late. I got a phone call from work and Mac ate and spent time with Daddy-O. I got off the phone and mac was ready to "meet the guys".

He left.

So my time with Mac on his birthday involved some nasty text messages, a few good texts, 1 good phone call, and about 10 minutes of face time.

I feel bad we didn't have more time together, but I guess at age 19 if that's how he wanted to spend it, then I guess I have to deal with it. I wish, selfishly, I had some nostalgic moments with him but it wasn't meant to be.

What I feel really bad about is that not a single relative sent him a card or called and wished him a happy birthday. Not his dad, not aunts or uncles, not his half brother, not his step mother, not his other grandmother, not or cousins or anyone. Just dad and I are the only ones. Even though he's been a jerk (buttheat, etc) lately that still shouldn't be an excuse people from ignoring his birthday. I feel bad about that. And it hurts Mac's feelings.

A weird day for me as the mom... I love my kid.

Mac's mom,
Maggie

B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y!

Today is Mac's 19th birthday. Happy birthday, son!

FOUND!

So after the wallet has been missing officially for 9 days, it was found this afternoon!!!!! In Levi's car!

This was after, of course, I cleaned my car (which didn't hurt anything) and Mac called his college to see if it was turned in. And we called the video store to see if it was turned it.

I was so glad we didn't cancel his ATM card and pay the $20 fee and then freeze the account for 30 days to make sure there was no attempted activity.

I hugged Levi.

Mac jumped up and down and screamed and whooped and hollered in the middle of the parking lot. He hugged Levi.

I told Mac if he ever loses his wallet again, he'll be in deep crappola.

I'm glad it wasn't stolen. I'm glad Mac wasn't a victim of identity theft. Who'd wanna be him anyway?

Mags

LOST! And it has nothing to do with islands-- and the BMV is just stupid

Mac has lost his wallet. We did the whole "think back" where he was when he had it last, which was a chore in and of it's self. Teenagers go weird places and do weird things. And they're in cars with lots of people. Could it be in Nick's car? Levi's? Justin's? Even's? Could it be in the yard where they played in the snow in the middle of the night? The garage at Nick's where they were hunting for a cord? In Nick's mom's car? Stolen from work? Blah, blah, blah!

We finally determined where he had it last and where he thinks it has to be... either Nick's house, Nick's mom's car, Nick's backyard or stolen from work. That's what Mac thinks. We still have been checking out the entire house, top to bottom. We've gone through all his laundry, his room, his bed, around the TV, the bathroom, the kitchen, the porch, under all the furniture,IN all the furniture, his school bag, my car, his coat.... we have seriously looked everywhere. (And yes Daddy-O we looked behind the bookcase where it fell before.) We even checked the laundry room itself. It just isn't here.

Personally, in all honesty, I think one of three things happened:
1- one of Nick's sketchy friends found Mac's wallet and stole it (I REALLY think this happened!)
2-it's somewhere in Levi's car or Nick's mom's car (these are the last 2 vehicles he rode in while he was thinking of where he saw it last)
3- he left it in his coat pocket at work and someone lifted it from there (least likely but a possibility based in the information I have

So what this means is that he has lost his driver's license, his social security card, and his brand new ATM card (there' no money in that account and won't be until Monday- thank God!)

Can anyone think of a better situation for identity theft than this? And Nick knows some sleazy people and it wouldn't surprise me if one of those people sold it off. UGH!

I told him to cancel that card ASAP. His entire school loan is going to be deposited in there on Monday and he doesn't want that amount stolen! He's freaking out because it's a $20 fee to replace the card and 10 days before the card will be here. I could care less about either of these things but he's freaking out over it.

What I'M more concerned about is replacing his driver's license and his social security card. I went to the SS web site and according to the FAQ it's not horrible to replace- can you believe that???? Because he knows the number and because his place of employment has a copy of it, his place of employment can provide a copy and sign a gov. form that it's really Mac's card. Mac will also need to show his driver's license and fill out a form and he'll have it in about 10 days. Cool. Not a big deal, right?

Sounds like all we have to do is replace his driver's license, which shouldn't be a big deal, right? I mean, replacing the Social Security card is so easy and that's the federal government so getting a state issued document should be a snap, right?

Fuck no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mac needs to prove his identity and proof of his residence. He actually has the 2 documents he needs to prove his residence but he doesn't have anywhere near what he needs to be able to prove his identity because one of the things he needs is a SOCIAL SECURITY CARD!!!!

So, according to the BMV web site, an residence of this state can go with him and vouch for his identity, but I would have to bring in documents. Now, remember, we are REPLACING a license that the state has already given him once. We aren't starting from scratch. So I have to have a valid driver's license from this state (I do); I have to provide 2 of the following: passport, birth certificate, social security card (I have all three); and I need to have 2 of the following: a utility bill with my name and current address that matches my Driver's license, a doc bill with my name and current address which must be issued within the last 60 days, a pay stub with current name and address issued within the last 60 days, and a bank statement issued within the last 60 days with my current address and name. Yes, I need all of that stuff to vouch that Mac is Mac.

How does anyone do this??? This is so stupid. I've had a run in with the BMV before and it just keeps pissing me off. Why did people go postal, and not BMVal? Makes me so mad because this is bureaucracy in action and we are helpless cogs in this particular government wheel. And all this has changed under the auspice of our current governor- I've done research and he's the asshat who changed all this. $%*)(&%(@#*! (<--- I want to swear a LOT, as you can tell) This is another reason I hate him and I swear if he run for POTUS in 2016 as is rumored then I will move anywhere for the time he's in office because he's a total menace.

Daddy-O and I have reminded Mac to put his wallet in the same place over and over again and he never does, whether it's at home or in his pocket. He's so freaked out about it. He's mad at himself, too. Yes, this is a hard life lesson, I know. And yes maybe in the future it will teach him to be more responsible but this is such a huge pain in the ass and a huge stressor. And he doesn't deal with with stress and he doesn't need any more of it in his life right now.

I wish the wallet fairy would pop up. Hell I wish we would just find it, even if it's just there in front of our faces.

Ugh!
Maggie

Online education

Mac is taking online classes at a local community college and it's been an interesting experience, and it's only week 1!!! Right now he has 2 classes online and one will end at the 8 week mark and another will start at the 8 week mark. (He's also taking 3 face to face classes at the local campus).

Online is interesting. This is his first time with anything like this, and I've never taken an online course either. I'm curious about learning how it all works and Mac has just given me his username and password so I can log in and poke around and see stuff.

He did all the assignments for the first week for both classes. He emailed his online instructors, too, telling them it's his first online experience and he wanted to make sure he did everything and was understanding everything so it will be interesting to see how they respond. He doesn't plan to do this weekly or anything, but he's trying to be safe rather than sorry (and I hope he has instructors who will understand and consider this a conscientious student rather than a stupid one).

Now that being said, I think the structure of the courses are interesting. He's taking Econ 101 and an Intro to College 101, which is required.

The Econ 101 is awesome. This instructor has it laid out beautifully and easily. Things are straightforward and simple. All explanations make sense and all the assignments are clear. The folders and tabs are all labeled in a way that makes complete sense. There's not a lot of extraneous information to sort through to get to the assignments, quizzes, presentations, projects and tests. It's blunt and ORGANIZED.

Then there's the Intro to College class, which is completely OPPOSITE of Econ. Ugh! This class even LOOKS like a nightmare. The instructor blathers and has "explanations" in the middle of an assignment. It's like train of consciousness thought. And that train derails. She rambles and it's unorganized. The folder labels don't coincide with what she calls them; for example she refers to the current assignments will be found in Week 1 folder and then it's actually labeled Session 1. I realize this might not be a big deal but for someone who has never taken an online class, it's a little confusing when everything else is all new and feels confusing. She highlights in colors, but to me what she highlights doesn't make sense. She also says "cut and paste blah blah blah" and that information is not "cut and pasteable" because of a security site. Everything is scattered. I think this class could be a nightmare just because she isn't organized.

I think I would like an online class if it's organized. Otherwise, I think it would be horrible. When I look at his Intro class I want to print everything and check stuff off. It makes me nervous. The Econ class, on the other hand, is just how an online class should be, so I think!

I hope Mac does well and I plan on keeping a close eye on this process for his sake, and for my own peace of mind...

Mags

About time things look up for him

So mac is making some better choices and good things are happening. After the rough fall of school, the bit of trouble that did not result anything legal- than you God- and then the quitting of school and the miserable time trying to find a job, he seems to have it together... as of now.

He enrolled in a local community college and is taking 16 hours. He's got three classes online and 3 classes in person. These classes started this week and he's already done all the work for all three online classes.

He also finally got a job at Taco Bell and his first day is Wednesday. He'll probably get around 20 hours a week. That's a very good thing.

He's seeing an awesome counselor and several of his friends that he's now spending time with seem to have their collective shit together, so that seems to help him make better choices.

HE wants to make good grades. HE wants to buy a car. HE wants to pen a savings account. This is all awesome and are his choices; nothing that I threatened him with or told him he has to do.

After the entire hellish autumn we went through with him, it's good to see such positive steps forward that are HIS steps. I'm being supportive and shutting up.

All good steps...
Mac's Mom,
Mags