Saturday, December 14, 2013

Think Kit Day 14- good advice? valuable lessons? Yes and Yes!

Think Kit #14: Did you get any good advice or learn a valuable lesson this year? Was it expected or unexpected, easy or tough? Share what you learned.

Lesson/ advice #1: This is a year that I received lots of good advice but, at times, I had to figure it out on my own. I've been in a rocky on again- off again relationship. My friends and family fall firmly into 2 camps: walk away or try. Most are in the walk away group. This advice comes blanketed a lot nicer than "run for the hills" but that's the general gist. And though  this topic has been talked to death with my girlfriends, as women are wont to do, I seem to be finally realizing I should take their advice and just leave. I've been single for almost 18 years (OMG I can't believe my divorce was that long ago!) and I've had various serious relationships in that time, but nothing has stuck. And even though I'm 42 and sometimes lonely (and tired of doing it all by myself) it doesn't mean I should stay in a relationship that's unsatisfying or unhealthy. And even though I think about the fact that at my age, single women have a better change of being killed by a terrorist than getting married, it's okay to be single (though preferably not killed by a terrorist). I'll be fine. I intellectually KNOW this but sometimes my heart doesn't understand it.

Lesson/ advice #2: The other valuable lesson is that tough love is necessary and hard, especially when it comes to your child. My 20 year old son is making terrible life choices. Enough said; I can't fathom typing those details here, or anywhere. But the resonating voice is that of my brother. My brother and I aren't "close" but we do have each other's backs, even as adults. And when he learned of some of the crap Mac was doing/ pulling/ going though, when my Bro heard of Mac's poor choices and saw how I was letting if effect me, how I was beating myself up, how I was or wasn't coping, he said the best thing: "Mags, you can't help that Mac doesn't behave how he was raised. He knows better. You did your best. He's doing this to himself." And he is. And I have to stand by and let my adult child do what he's doing.

Ahhh 2013, what a rough year. If I were superstitious, I'd wonder about the "13" of it all...

It's a hard knock life,

1 comment:

Curley said...

I love you sweet lady and don't you ever forget that.