Friday, December 20, 2013

Think Kit 20- who made a difference

Think Kit Day 20: Who made a difference for you this year? Was it a close friend or a stranger? A specific moment in time or the entire year?

I think it's hard to think over 365 days and pick a single one person who made a difference to me in 2013. this has not been the best year for me: I'm still in this crappy job so I worry about money all the time. I still live in dad's attic (which I'm thankful to have and not be homeless) but I'm 42 and live with my dad- it's a blow to my independence/ ego, and I feel like a mooch. Mac has run me through the emotional and financial wringer this year. I have no health insurance and I'm paranoid about getting sick, and I haven't felt all that healthy for about 5 months. My relationship with Sam, which was on again and off again felt like it was going in a good direction, then we started the relationship roller coaster in June and that's been tumultuous at best. I'm not complaining, though it sounds like it, I'm just explaining why my 2013 has felt crappy. And I've tried to change so much but after so much discouragement, it feels rough to develop the motivation to change anything and to just plod along. My life is the devil I know... so, all that being said I feel like many people made a difference, so in big ways and some in small because I think people can help me stay sane.
  • my friends all make a difference in some way because they listen to me, I can listen to them. We laugh and cry and hang out. We talk seriously and are silly. We give and received advice and preserve sanity for each other (and this I've needed it!). They're the people who give me a reality check in a nice way but also know when I need to just vent. These woman- Curley, Mama Cashew, Lori, Steph, Mandi, Kayla, Jess, Kim, Other Kim, Rebecca- are the family I was able to choose.
  • My family has made a difference- for many of the same reasons as my friends, especially my dad because no matter how ticked off he gets at me, he still love mes unconditionally.
  • The minister at my dad's church made a difference. I realize it's technically "my" church but I don't go very often so I feel weird about claiming it as my own. Anyway, at the beginning of the year I was going to church a couple times a month and I liked it. I like his preaching style and his outlook. I like his "voice"- not the sound of, but his personality/ character/ brain. It might've restored my faith in "church" (even though most of the time I agree with Amy Farrah Fowler-"I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance."
  • Many of the people I met when I was going to Indy- for creative ideas and positive attitudes. It's fun to meet new people and learn things. Brittany, Lynn, Nancy, Sacha, Blare, Dawn, Jenn-- these are all pretty cool women from Indy who I met this year. It's nice to have them as acquaintances and if I would move to Indy, it's nice to know there are possible friendships to form
  • My online friends and penpals make a difference. Most of them I've never met face to face- Patti, Sam, Jack, Bragger, Annie, Georgette, LR, Tony Mc, Nic- but either through my blog or USPS or email, these people make a difference- many for the same reason as my face to face friends and family. There is something to be said about sharing secrets with a stranger who can be completely objective...
  • It might sounds silly but the staff at the local Starbucks make a difference to me because they make me feel like I matter. They know me by name and know my usual. They ask about my dad or dog or work. They ask about the book I was reading the last time I was in. I like that feeling of routine and belonging. (which we can armchair psych evals- after the year I've had, routine is good, duh! Routine means security- duh!)
I'm sure there are more people to this list... people have made a difference this year and for that I thank them all for being in my life, in some way... and for restoring my faith in humanity, one person, one kindness, one selfless act at a time...



Curley said...

Even tho we don't see each other very often, I know that I could call you if I was in a pinch and you would be there in a heartbeat for me. Love ya to pieces, sister of my heart.

Anonymous said...

Flattered that I made the list! I'm happy to know you too, lady.