Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dodged a bullet?

So ITSam and I have been splitsville for a week and a day now.

Over the course of the last week, he's called and text me (misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!) over and over and over again. Oh yes, and don't forget the emails (did I mention the misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!). He professes his undying love for me- over and over and over again. He tells me he loves me, he wants to get back together, he begs, he cries, he waxes poetic about how great we were together, how it was a mistake to end it, blah, freakin', blah. I spend my time trying to not respond to any of it. And I have three email addresses so that's tough! (I thought about posting some of his texts and emails here and hosting an audience participation game. You could all respond for me and the best response gets a prize..... too much meanness from me to do that?)

I have spoken with him once. And that was when he was sobbing and blubbering and begging me to take him back- last Wednesday night. he made it all of two days. The creepy part was when I said no and was ready to hang up and he used a nasty voice- from tearful to evil in 1.2 seconds.

I also got a few nasty (mean) texts from him but I was nasty back.

It was pretty quiet over the weekend. He didn't contact me at all, minus one "miss you" text to which I didn't respond.

Here's the funny part: he's been telling me he loves me and wanting to get back together, reminding me he loved me so much he wants to marry me, BUT I found out that he's registered on an online dating site and has been active on it daily!!!!

Can you feel the love?

I read his ad and it's fairly accurate. I could add something things to the list though, but I bet it wouldn't garner him dates if ladies read: "has erectile dysfunction, been evicted more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, was arrested once for stalking ex-wife, son probably belongs to another man, I lie often, and am so desperate for a relationship that I just dumped my 'almost fiancee' 8 days ago but am on a dating site now. " (I could add lots more to this list but... I won't do that here. I think I'm being publicly mean, just enough. More would amount to me being a first rate "bitch") He went from get married to a dating site in less than 8 days. Wow.

Now I know why I haven't heard from him: he's got all his online dating emails and women to chat with instead of me. I hear you all sighing in relief.

When I said I felt he was a man who was so desperate to be loved and to be in a relationship that he would "love" anyone, I think I was right. I told XRayGirl this the day after he said "I love you" the first time and she thought I was being cynical. When I told her about the emails/ texts/ calls and then this dating site thing, she admitted she thought I was right. She also said, "You dodged a bullet." Ain't that the truth.

The one thing that has me just a little freaked out is that when I told my Photographer Friend she said I should make sure I'm safe. She "stalker" thing has her bothered and she said she "got a weird vibe" about him regarding that. His office at Alcatraz is in the same building I close at night when I do my night receptionist work. She's worried about me being there at night in case he would be. Now that seed is planted in my brain and I'm now the aforementioned a little freaked out. I honestly don' think he'd do anything to me, but I guess that what Ted Bundy's girlfriends thought. I'm not sure if she planted a seed that worries me or if I should legitimately be worried. I also work this coming Friday night.

And this is why I don't date. Some of it really has me sad, sort of; maybe disappointed. At one time I thought I would like to be friends with him, but that cannot obviously happen now. And it really is a bummer to know he didn't really love me- who knows if he really liked me even?- that he only needed (wanted?) a warm human to hold, regardless. I wasn't special, I was just there.

By the way, if he DOES call me and profess his undying love again, I plan on asking him how he can love me and want to marry me AND be on a dating site. Unless you give me some clever ideas of things I should say instead...

In the long run, regardless, I'm glad it's over,

PS- geez, I just re-read this post and I see I gave you all sorts of homework assignments in here... (or you can see I asked for all sorts of advice...)


Wiley said...

Be strong, and definitely let us have some fun with the game!

Oh, and if it makes you feel any better at all, if he turns all stalker-esque on you, keep in mind that I know professional killers. Baby killers, in fact, and a few of them owe me favours ;)

Curley said...

Is there anyone at Alcatraz that can walk you to your car at night? If not make sure you park as close to the door as you can and carry a really big flashlight with you that you can swing. I have one you can maybe borrow or I will buy you one. Metal and holds 5 D size batteries. Also please alert the admin. there of what has been going on. Or have Mac drive you to and from work. No one would mess with him with his size.

Anonymous said...

Run Maggie .. Run ~~ he has issues... I would be concerned about the stalker thingy... If he continues to call, write or text, take a restraining order out... Be thankful he is cruising the date scene online...

Evil Pixie said...

I'm with your photographer friend... Never under-estimate the potential severity of someone's psychosis. I have had two very unpleasant experiences that ended up involving the police, and I thought the guys weren't capable of that sort of nastiness. You can never be too sure, so it is always best to take precautions.

PS. The best way to "dig" at a guy is to remain absolutely calm, matter-of-fact, and completely indifferent when talking to them. They hate it, especially when they are being extremely emotional.

PSS. I would definitely ask him about the dating site. The fact that he was doing that while still with you is just icky.

Maggie said...

Wiley- I know someone who knows killers? I like you more and more with each passing day...

Curley- I think if I hear nothing from him, since the last text was Saturday afternoon (right after we dropped you off as a matter of fact!) between now and Friday night, I'm not too concerned. BUT, even if the silence continues I'm going to have night security meet me and walk me to my car. (Thanks for the offer of the big flashlight. I have one! And I told Mac and he's ready to kick some ass. Trust me)

TaDa- I am very thankful he's moving to the online chickies, those poor souls! And thanks for the suggestion. I hope it certainly doesn't come to that since he's been quiet since Sat. afternoon!

Evil P- from what I can tell from poking around on the site, it doesn't look like he was doing that while we were together. regardless, he is just icky. And I am very calm and unemotional when I talk to him because it takes too much effort to even care.

Bragger said...

I agree that you dodged a bullet. And I also agree with all the wise advice from the folks above. It's too easy to discount the "stalker" thing and then have it come back to bite you. Better safe than sorry! But if he's already moved on to a dating site, perhaps his attention is already elsewhere.

Shan said...

Why do some men have to be such weirdies? I had one that I never dated and who was much older AND my boss at a country club one summer drive three hours to my school after and profess his love with creepy cards and creepy him. EEEK!
Be careful indeed. :}