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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Survival

Does anyone know what charges I would face for kidnapping Kool? Her mother is a horrid horrid drunken, druggie abusive bitch and I really don't like her.

I want to take Kool and run. I want to give her her own room, clean clothes, clean clothes that fit her, fix her supper at night and sit at the kitchen table to eat it, to give her easy kid chores, help her with her homework, take her to the mall or out to eat or to the movies, and let her hang around and play video games or rent a video or play music or play board games. I want her to see what "normal" is.

I don't want her to feel like she needs to hang out in the park until dark because her mom's boyfriend is abusive. I don't want her to go to bed hungry, have dirty clothes that don't fit, and to sleep on the floor in the corner of the living room because she doesn't have her own room nor her own bed. I don't want her to take crappy jobs around the questionable neighborhood so she has spending money- for dinner. It would be nice if her mom wasn't drunk and passed out when she got home from school or the abusive boyfriend of mom wouldn't be beating anyone up.

Five steps forward and 37 back. She's passing every subject but math (As in PE and science, Bs in reading, social studies and language, and an F in math- but it's coming up).

She's quiet with me these days. I've never, ever ratted out her secrets to anyone. For her that's more than her telling me so I get her help because the system has failed her time and time again. Trust me. Abuse has been reported and the system failed her. She's one tough kid now and it would take a huge, mean guy to hurt her because she would kill someone who tried again. So she doesn't tell me things as a 'cry for help.' She tells me so someone else knows.

And thinking with my brain and knowing with my heart are two different things, I know. Today my heart hurts for her.

I'm not in any financial position to save her. I want to save her. I'm not sure how much longer she's gonna survive.

Maggie

5 comments:

Curley said...

That is so sad. All you can do is be there for her to talk to and to help her realize that she really is worth something.

Honey said...

I read that the system has failed her over and over. Which it usually does because unless there is massive abuse (and sometimes even in those cases)the children are not removed from the situation. It's dumb, stupid and morally wrong! A system made to protect the innocent who don't have a voice fails them. BUT as a fellow educator... if you suspect that there is any form of abuse, you MUST report it to you supervisor (your principal). If they do not follow up with it then you MUST report it properly and keep reporting it until it gets noticed. Otherwise, if something should happen and she says well I told Maggie and you did nothing, you are held liable for not protecting her by reporting it. I had a similar situation last year with a student. I reported it early on in the year to my principal who did NOTHING then we had an officer from Indy come and give the talk to the middle school kids about abuse, sexting, etc. This girl was in the fetal position throughout the entire talk, sucking her thumb and about on the floor! I was not the only one to notice as the counselors there did as well. I spoke to the lead conselor and told her about my prior reporting to which we found out that my boss never did anything. The girl was talked to you, it was investigated and she is getting the help her family desparately needs. Do what your gut is telling you to do. I know you may feel like you would betray her trust but she tells you because she trusts you. She needs help, guidance and understanding.

Maggie said...

Curley- I know. but be ready to post bail just in case.

Honey- I made a formal statement, on record and file, with the principal. Kool is on his daily "radar" and he really cares about her, too- she's one of his favs.

Because of the school's student population of at risk kids is high, he is in daily contact with the police, DFC, and probation. He and I discussed her safety at length today. the legal side is well in hand.

He said if I kidnapped her he would pay my bail out of his own pocket and write a commendation letter on my behalf. LOL

gotta find more levity. laugh or cry, ya know?

TaDa said...

well that just sucks.. and I bet the foster homes are no better..... GOD BLESS you...

Sara Chapman said...

Blessings on you for caring. Somehow it will work out. Keep a positive solution in your mind, and keep loving Kool. Your love and your modeling of good behavior/mothering count enormously.