Where am I going? Where have I been?

I'm very thankful that Scout came with a trial subscription to OnStar because I get lost all the time in the city. I have zero sense of direction to start with and then to have a new city... well, I get lost. Often.

I know basics like certain landmarks are on X side of town. The pyramids are on the west side, a certain mall is on the north. I live on the east side. That helps. A little bit.

I've always had a certain issue with direction. When Mac was small and we'd go somewhere new and get lost, instead of getting upset and freaking him out, I would tell him it was an "adventure", a chance to see something new and unexpected. To this day, if he's with me in the car and I get lost, he asks, generally with a smirk, if we're going on an "adventure". I generally reply, with forced cheerfulness, yes. Then he pulls out his smart phone and GPS's us in the right direction. (I have a smartphone with GPS as well but I'm usually driving and it would involve pulling over to figure out the directions and such).

Overall I don't often mind being lost but if if being lost is going to make me late for an appointment or meeting, then I'm irritated and OnStar can come to the rescue with just a push of a button and uttering the words, "I'm lost. Could you give me directions, please?" I sometimes get a little freaked out if I'm lost and there is a LOT of traffic. I hate "big city" traffic and it must raise my blood pressure to be bumper to bumper and unsure if I'm headed in the right direction.

I get the most lost downtown, which I know doesn't make a lot of sense, but it seems that's the way I'm wired. There a market I go to at least one time a week all winter long and I still get lost when I leave. I'm ridiculous in that sense. Yes, I sometimes get lost coming home from places I've been before. Ugh! I KNOW!  And do I even need to go into details about how many times I get on the interstates that makes a circle around the city and I'm going the wrong directions? If I want to go north, and my options at that exit are west and south, which way to do I go? I always go the wrong way.

Once I decided to print directions on a piece of paper, only because I needed those directions ASAP and didn't have time to make the OnStar connection and wait for the download.  I knew when I left the office I had no idea at all where I was going so I figured paper would work. It was fine except for being in the wrong lane to make my left turn and had to go around the block and then there was a one way street and then a round about and... yeah, I asked OnStar for help...

TheGuy doesn't always help. He thinks in guy format as far as directions do. If we're going to eat at a burger joint we both like, he'll go there one way and then take us home a different way so I can see all of my options to get there. I've barely remembered 3streets to get there let alone a whole new way. I want some repetition to ingrain it in my cerebral cortex before giving me some options. I wouldn't say I'm a creature of habit but as far as going somewhere to not get lost, I certainly am. I figure out one way to get there and I go that path over and over again, which doesn't always make sense or isn't always the shortest/quickest way, but it's the WAY I know without getting lost!

And when there's construction or if the city has closed off streets I know and use often for some reason (a marathon, a parade, a festival), then I'm screwed. I'm usually stuck in traffic with a million other cars who didn't know THAT road was closed and we're all being forced left onto a one way street I've never seen before. And neither have the other half of the people so we're going slow and brake slamming. The other half who know where there's going are horn honking and yelling, and driving around me like idiots which don't help matters. Oh, the joy of being lost and thank you OnStar for letting me just tap, tap, tap a button to easy directions!

What would help me most is if I invested in a paper map and could get a visual, overall view of the city. I want to highlight/circle places I often go and home and the office and then I could see the big picture of how it ties everything together. I'm a big picture type of person and it helps when I can see the whole and not just a piece.

Getting lost has taken me on some cool finds. I found 2 different coffee shops that I didn't know existed, a cupcakery, and a vintage clothing shop. I found some beautiful homes that were lovely to drive by, and I actually discovered a more direct route for me to get to the art museum from my house... all because I got lost.

I suffer from wanderlust and my feet are itchy right now so getting lost does feed that part of my soul. But, overall, getting lost just ticks me off... but not too badly because I do have the magic OnStar button. At least for 2 more months. After that... back to having "adventures"!

Maggie

Drive me away

Lilith asked me what became of my driving transportation of kids after the disaster last weekend when I drove kids to and fro.

It's funny she asked. I was sure I would get fired. I figured I would get fired outright, or get the 'quietly fired' where I wasn't asked to drive anymore- just let to quietly slide off the list. I wasn't particularly upset by the thought of either, actually.

But what did happen was... well, hang on.

I got an email, along with a bunch of other people who drive, telling us we need to have a training class on how to work with difficult kids. It's a nationally renowned program (I don't want to name it here in case someone at work would Google it and lead to here) that in mental and physical ways lets you learn to handle kids mentally and physically when necessary. The course runs 8 hours a day over 4 days. Then there are annual re-certs that last 2-3 days each.

I also need to update my first aid/ CPR through the American Red Cross.

I can't drive anymore until I complete this. This is because of our federal licensing agency. I was told in the email, and in person, that I apparently slipped through the cracks, along with several other drivers. It will be interesting to see who all commits to doing this.

My company is offering a class next week and will pay me but I'm not doing it. I don't know if I want to drive anymore anyway. And to be honest, I got a down and dirty training course because I work at the school and I understand what I'm to do; the down and dirty version doesn't count for drivers, though. Also, this training is NOT geared to take place in a car. If I have to use these skills, I better be pulled over on the side of the road and calling for help. AND next week is an entire week off with pay from the library- my first week of summer vacation that I've worked hard for, I think. I am NOT giving up all all 4 days of vacation for this nonsense.

It's utterly ridiculous. There are a bunch of people who aren't going to drive anymore because of it.

I'm going to wait this one out and see if the company will stick to it or not. I think they'll be in such desperate need of drivers they'll find a loophole.

So I wasn't fired, nor quietly ignored. I'm just told I don't have the "right" credentials to do this. Yeah, right.

Maggie

The drive from Hell Part II

I will admit that it wasn't as bad as Friday.

When I went to pick up the car, I found I was assigned the crappy van. It sits up very straight and very close to the steering wheel. even though I'm short I have long legs and can never sit far enough away from the steering wheel.

Then I had to call and tell all the families when I'd be there BECAUSE apparently the case worker who arranged this farce told them all I'd be there between 4-7pm when I specifically told her I would be leaving Alcatraz at 11:30 am unless she wanted to get another driver.

One kid had no phone number so I have to call his case worker at home and then go in the case workers office to find the number. While getting the number I noticed that he also gave me the wrong address for the same kid (and the wrong directions) so I fixed that.

And I didn't have a correct phone number for the girl who caused all the trouble the other night so the person in charge said he would text me her number in a little bit (he did about 10 minutes after I left so I called and left her a message on her atrocious voice mail).

I finally started my vehicle and the gas tank was empty. By now I was pissed. The rules is that drivers top off tanks when we get back. The last person who had that van didn't do it. If they got back after closing hours, then the person who opens in the morning at the reception desk didn't bother to check to see if the late returns were fueled up. So now I'm already running behind because TWO separate case workers didn't do their jobs and NOW I had to take time to pump gas. I was pissed.

I finally got on the road and made up some time, and got to the first kid's house- the girl who caused all the trouble and guess what? She wasn't home and her mom couldn't reach her. I called my facility and said she jerked me around the other night and I was leaving. I had one other boy to get in that town and then I was heading to the capital. I told them no one ever does anything to give these parents or kids consequences and I was going to be fired anyway, so screw her. The man in charge said he completely understood and to go ahead and go.

I get the other kid and am just ready to head out with the VP calls me. He said he told to Problem Child's mother and said she had 10 minutes to produce her child for me to pick up or they were calling the cops on all of them. He asked me to go back and if she wasn't there that time, then to leave. so, I drove back across town and lo and behold- she was there. She was pissed and cussing and swearing a blue streak but there.

The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. On boy's family was supposed to meet me in a parking lot. They live in the southern part of my state and this parking lot was the half way point for them and me. I called and said I was there and the dad said they were behind by 90 minutes. I just said "You have to take your kid all the way to [Alcatraz] yourself. I 'm ready to leave now and I have about kid to get." The dad didn't argue and said okay.

It rained the entire time. And today was graduation for a HUGE state university and I happen to be in that town to get a kid so traffic was pretty hellacious.

Other than being hungry the kids were fine, even the pissy gal from the other night. We talked and listened to music and it only took 6.5 hours.

Man, I am tired....

Maggie

So, I'll probably be fired

I drove the trip from hell yesterday. It was supposed to take only 5 hours and it took 10. I had to deliver 3 kids home on their weekend passes.

A few rules when driving: never leave a child at home unless an adult is there (unless otherwise instructed by the case worker in advance) and when leaving meds, get an adult signature (unless otherwise instructed by the case worker).

We left on time and got to the first child's house in a timely manner. No one was home. I'm not supposed to leave the kids without an adult there. I called the office and talked to this child's case manager. We gave mom 10 minutes to get there and she never arrived. So after a whole lotta phone calls between me and the case manager I was told to make the kid get back in the car and take her with me the rest of the drop offs and then back to the campus to her house.

The kid was supposed to have a weekend pass and the case manager thought I was going to convince her to get back in the car and leave? Oh yeah, right. That went as well as could be expected- she yelled, swore at me and refused. That went well.

We had another round of phone calls and because no one had any back bone nor balls, I left her alone at her house. Gee whiz, I could've predicted that would happen and why we went through the motions, I have no idea. All I know is that we spent 50 minutes going through this ritual and I was 50 minutes late. And pissed.

I drove another hour to drop off the second child, which the real shit hit the proverbial fan.

In the middle of the drama with child I, I discovered I gave her the wrong medications. I left child 3's prescription with child 1.

I called the campus and through a round of phone calls, it was determined that I created a liability issue AND violated HIPPA. And I was told to drive an hour BACK to child 1's house to get the meds. I still had one more kid to take home who live an hour away from where I was and would be 2 hours away from Child 1's house. Too bad, I had to go back.

I drove back. About an hour back. Of course when I got to Child 1's house, there was no adult there. I got the wrong meds. But now I had to have someone sign for the correct meds. I didn't the first time when she was throwing a damn fit but now I had the BIG boss on the phone call all the shots. So now, with the liability issues taken care of but about a zillion HIPPA violations still out there, we were going to do this by the book.

So, I was there.... get this, another 45 minutes waiting on adults and signatures.

I finally could leave and take the last kid home. We had to get food, and go to the bathroom and get fuel for the car

She was supposed to be dropped off at 7 pm and I finally got her to her house at 11:30 pm.

I was supposed to be home at 8:30pm. I got home at 1:30am.

So I figure I'm fired. The med issue was all me. I was flustered and frustrated about the kids refusing to go home and the delay and the whole scene she caused. But it's really no excuse for giving the wrong meds. There's not. Bottom line, I screwed up. Screwed up. Big time.

HIPPA violations!!!!! How could I have been so dumb? Ugh!

The up side is that I'll only be fired from the driving part of my job. I'll still have my library job and my weekend secretary job. I'll still have summer school to teach. I just will probably be canned from driving. Of course it's the one that pays the most per hour but oh well.... right?

I've never been fired before but an article I read on Monster says everyone is fired at least once. This would be my once, I guess.

Gee, I'm really looking forward to Monday.

Maggie

Random observations from my drive yesterday

I drove kids home yesterday for Spring Break (these would be Alcatraz students). I had to go to the southern part of my state. I can't believe what a difference it is in weather. It was so warm there and all their spring trees had started flowering. I don't just mean little buds and getting ready to bloom but in full bloom cycle. It time would've allowed I would've taken pictures. And let me tell you, it made me crave spring even more.

I was dropping off Princess on this run and she was a pistol. She could've starred in the movie Mean Girls. And she was in full tilt flirt mode because there were---- *gasp* boys on the bus! I was actually happy to get her off. I feel terrible about saying that but then I was relieved because I feel that way about Mac so I know I love them both.

I drove 700 miles yesterday.

Finally I want to admit I was a real idiot/ bitch last night. I was finally heading for home from my transport. I had about 2 hours to go so I stopped at a Starbucks. I ordered my favorite drink. Because I'm a gold club member I get a discount. Because I was driving for work, I had an "expense account" so I wasn't going to have to pay for the drink out of my own pocket. So, I had the guy at the counter still scan my card to get the discount but specifically said to not use the balance on my account. While he was doing this, I had been talking to another barista about my long day and what I had been doing and this guy was listening. He was new and he screwed up. He called a manager over to fix it but couldn't. He said he used the balance on my account and was sorry. I rolled my eyes at the guy and said, "Didn't I ask you to not do that?" And he said yeah and apologized. I said something like, "Well, that's par for the course of my day. My company won't reimburse that. Great. Thanks." I was.... snotty. As I get my drink and turn to leave the guy stops me and gives me a coupon for a free drink of my choice and says, "I"m sorry I used the 67 cents on your card. Here's a free drink for next time." Ummmmmmmm, 67 cents. 67 cents????? Oh shit, I was a bitch over 67 cents? I mumbled an apology and said thanks many times. I sat in the car and tried to figure the 67 cents when it dawned on me I used my card the day before when I was out with XRay Girl; I didn't have $5 on there at all. Ooops. I felt like an idiot.

Driving that long makes my right hip hurt.

Maggie

Thank yous and randoms on Christmas Eve

Thank you to Gulo for sending me all the yummy baked goodies!!!! And since your dog is now a sock terrorist, all mine (socks, that is) are in hiding!

Thank you Patti for the beautiful necklace!!!! I'll be posting a picture of said piece of shoe jewelry that she made herself using my avatar off this blog!! it's stunning- thank you so much!

Mac had a girlfriend for about 2 months (though I just found out that she was officially his "girlfriend" about 3 weeks ago) and she dumped him 2 days ago. He is now the world's most depressed teenager. I hate her and I'm really tired of his attitude, but what can I do?

I transported 2 boys yesterday. Pray for one. He's got a rough life story but the next three days he's going to a foster home. For Christmas. With his brother. yeah, this boy is in a placement facility and his brother is in foster care. And he's going to the foster place for three days, with a family he's never met, to celebrate this huge family holiday.

And speaking of driving transits... yesterday's ode... well the day I drove that, it was 16 hours long. The kids were awesome and kind. They were respectful. They sang. Someone found my Kelli Clarkson CD and we sang along at the top of our lungs. Some woman in a bathroom in southern My State thinks I have 7 teenage girls. She's an idiot. Overall, they made me laugh. It was a good day.

I just finished wrapping all the gifts I'm giving except for one. And I've filled the stockings. Now I'm going to help Daddy-O wrap. Ugh! Why do I wait until the last minute? Oh, don't answer that.

This year I didn't send Christmas cards. I usually do but didn't this year. I couldn't find any I liked really well. I either liked the picture and hated the message or vice versa. I thought about, around October, of making my own and of course, I didn't. Procrastination is a terrible thing. Maybe I'll send New Year's Cards? Or Chinese New Year cards in later-ish January?

I told Mac I've decided to be Jewish by next year. We can still have a tree but for Hanukkah we're calling it a Hanukkah Bush. He asked if would fill his stocking with yamakas and dreidels. He asked me if that means I would register with J-Date. He's not funny.

Because of the flu/ cold from hell, I've also not basked. I figured cooking and contaminating is not the gift I want to give this Christmas season. But I didn't really need to bake since Gulo sent a wonderful box of goodies, Curly made us a huge platter of yummies, and my Auntie in Texas sent an entire box full of treats! Awesome people and awesome cookies, candies, and such! I am going to bake next week, though. I'm going to make my mom's recipe of cut out cookies, some chocolate fudge, a pan of mint brownies, and some fold over jam cookies. We'll see what happens!

Marry Christmas Eve,
Mags

Transporting kids home: a poem

Twas three days before Christmas and all through the state
Kids were going home to have fun and celebrate
1 Crazy lady, 8 girls and a guy
Were all in a van, wheels spinning, oh my.

The boy was out first, relieved to be free
From the giggling girls, blonds there were three.
Gabby was next,
her mom wasn't there,
so wait 10 extra minutes they did,
I was pulling out my hair!

Princess was home, into her family's arms she did run
Their faces lit up as warm as the sun.
I hugged her goodbye
I wished her adieu
I exclaimed to her I would "miss you!"

Back down the road we did ride,
The music playing loud,
The traffic parted like the tide or a crowd

One more girl here, another there
I left one on the side of the interstate,
My van was becoming bare.

Finally with two left we did go
To the other side of the state, I'll have you know
Now Ali was home, Kenni was too
After 15 hours on the road, I was weary, and left to stew.

My 5 hours back north did I drive in a rush
I relished the peace, the quiet, the hush
The kids were home and I was almost, too
And now I'll just say "Merry Christmas to you"

Road trip goofs

I will post later today. All I have in me is to say that yesterday I drove my first transport for Alcatraz. It means I picked up kids from their home visits and dropped them back at Alcatraz.

I drove 594 miles on Sunday.

I had a major exit on a major Interstate CLOSED. In the middle of construction. In the dark. With a car full of sleeping kids. (It was good they were sleeping because none of them could read a map anyway... I found that out later!)

I drove through downtown of the state capital during the middle of NFL game traffic.

I missed a turn and had to back track 20 minutes; I don't know how many miles that is, but it was a pain in the butt.

I turned the wrong way on a one way. When I discovered what I did, I fixed my error. In front of a sheriff. Who then followed me for about 6 blocks. He never pulled me over. Thank god.

And as we pulled in the parking lot at Alcatraz, after being in the car for about 12.5 hours, one of the kids spilled a milkshake on her, the car seat, the floor. So I cleaned all that up, filled the car with fuel and returned it.

I almost ran out of gas. To the point where the gas light was BLINKING at me as I rolled into the gas station. Talk about panicked. I can't imagine having to call and explain that one.

I am tired. I need sleep. But I made money. I made 10 bucks an hour. But I'm still tired. Princess rocked.

Ugh.

Maggie

XRayGirl: Goddess of hair and manual transmission driving lessons

XRayGirl is a miracle worker on so many levels! First my hair...

I am now no longer officially afraid to leave the house for fear of scaring the elderly and children. She took me to her stylist who cleaned the mess up. She said NO WAY to getting a perm because then I would have nasty, ugly, tight, poodle like curls. She trimmed and snipped and well... frankly, I have no idea what she did but she had to trim a little bit and I suddenly was all fixed- AND I look like I have more hair. I have no idea about that trick of the eye but XRayGirl and I couldn't figure it out but we both agreed that I just seemed to have more hair.

She also snipped enough that I have a head full of natural curls and the stylist gave me some tips to use them. She also said, and I quote, "Now that you have a good base cut, don't get it cut anywhere else but me. I know you want to grow it out. Pigtails by the end of the summer." O-KAY! And while I'm a little old for pigtails, the fact it will be long enough to do that by the end of the summer makes me want to dance!

To top it all off, she fixed the straight cut bangs. Instead of taking any more length off, she textured them, and now they look wispy rather than heavy and blunt. The unibrow bangs are gone!

The stylist also said hair grows quicker in the summer than winter and if I want to help it along, I could take pre-natal vitamins or some vitamin called "hair, nails, something" taken three times a day. Sounds like a plan.

My hair is much better! No more mullet! No more Betty Page bangs! No more "lesbian chic"! No more winning the Joan Jett Look Alike contest! And I have a head full of curls. Interesting look. Not one I'm used too, not bad, but much better than where I started out my Thursday!

And as for me learning to drive a stick shift... Well, first and foremost, XRayGirl is an excellent teacher and she's one of the most patient people I've ever met. She gave good instructions and different suggestions. But I think I might have to admit that driving a manual transmission and doing math are not my strong suites.

Also, I learned that there's lots of swearing and laughter involved in learning to drive a stick shift. No matter how many times I killed it or made the gears grind, she never yelled or made me feel embarrassed; we just howled with laughter!

I popped the clutch. I had trouble finding first- it had to be there somewhere. I wasn't sure how to drive with two feet. I was pretty excited when I finally got the car to start and keep going without killing it. And once I could get going, I had no trouble going from 1st to 2nd to 3rd to 4th and 5th! I'm still a little confused on when to clutch and brake verses just clutching or just braking.

There was one incident where I was at a four way stop on a slight incline. I kept rolling backwards and for some reason I would make a funny face which gave us laughing convulsions. At another stop sign, I killed it about 8 times. 8 TIMES!!!! Before I figured out I was accidentally in third. In my defense it was right next to 1st! We never even went into reverse- that's for another lesson.

I guess when I concentrate the tip of my tongue sticks out the corner of my mouth, which add to the laughter.

So I had an hour lesson and we're going to try again over the weekend. She's brave. Maybe I'll never drive a sports car. Maybe I should stick to automatics or take a bus if no automatics are to be found. I could always walk. Or find a hot guy to drive me everywhere I want to go...

Maggie

Doing Nothing on a Wednesday & the adventure up my sleeve for today

Yesterday was one of the best days of my spring break......... I did nothing. I didn't even take a shower or take off my jammies. I laid on the couch most of the day and watched movies, read a book, and napped.

Now it was raining, dark and thundering and lightening, so I watched the storm. Oh I could think of only two things better: 1) having a lie-in with a wonderful man doing the same things but adding sex to the list, or 2) spending the day shoe shopping. Since there's no man there was no sex. Since there's no money, there was no shoe shopping. So I did my third favorite thing to do on a warm stormy day- nothing.

My stack of rented movies was high so I just watched those (Secret Window, Ned Kelly, The Jane Austen Book Club, The Soloist, Mystery Alaska) all day long.

Mac was in the house, in his room, playing video games, Facebooking, and texting. He'd pop down to see what I was doing, say hey, talk for a minute, grab food, and disappear back upstairs. He and I made homemade pizza. We'd never done that together before and we had all the stuff to do it. And we actually did it together. He was like a little kid with Legos, building his pizza. We ended up with three layers of pepperoni and three layers of cheese on this sucker. So now I know when he goes to college he'll be able to make home made pizza, hot dogs, and scrambled eggs.

Oh, I talked on the phone to Curley, to XRayGirl and... a fella I know. I also had a screaming match with the Sperm Donor- well, he was screaming and I was calm and relaxed, which freaks him out even more- the arsehat fucktard. I also played on the Internet. I did a touch of laundry. Talk about the best day...! (Even with laundry and the asshat!)

Oh, and one more thing! I ate chocolate, lots of chocolate! Goddess bless the after Easter candy sales!

I seriously love doing nothing. I like working, sometimes, for the most part, and yes, I do like doing crafts and hobbies, but sometimes doing nothing is perfect. a seriously huge case of doing nothing.

Now I am leaving the house today. First, XRayGirl said she is going to take my hair issue into her own hands. She made an appointment for me with her stylist and, I'm here to tell you, that girl had BEAUTIFUL hair. Stunning! Her stylist has very short hair so XRayGirl thinks her stylist can help me- she can either fix it or give me ways to work with the mess. (But from what XRayGirl repeated her stylist said she's probably gonna have to cut it all off and let me start all over again with a frickin' pixie cut, one more time... Karma/ Dogma hair)

Okay, back to me leaving the house. XRayGirl and I are going with her Granny to an Amish bakery and cheese shoppe. Then I'm going to my hair appointment, and XRayGirl is going with me for moral support. After that--- we're going to *gulp* go driving. She's going to teach me to drive a stick shift. I have no idea how to drive a manual transmission and she's decided to teach me. It would be a good thing for me to learn, right? If nothing else, it'll be good blog fodder. After that might involve booze for both of us- we may need it.

I'll let you know how it all turns out, from the hair to the driving. Maybe we should drive first because then if she pulls my hair out, I won't be bald?

Happy Thursday!

Why in the hell would I have the blahs on a 4 day weekend?

Well, I was going to post about my Black Friday non-adventure adventure and about hangin' with Hecate on Wednesday but Mac has my car. I gave him permission, he didn't steal it. But this is the first time I've let him use my car and I can't seem to focus on writing right now. I know he was just going to Wally World and then to a friend's house but I'm still nervous. I KNOW he'll be fine, right? I also have the "blahs". Too much litter in my head to try and write. And I think I'm trying to catch a cold or something.... dunno. I'm just "off" right now.

So I'll leave you with this:

Makes me feel better!

Maggie

He did it!!!!

Mac passed the driving test today! Whoot whoot! I am SO proud of him!

Now we're sitting here waiting for his dad to call him at my house to see if he can drive his truck. I cannot believe his Sperm Donor didn't bother to go to his insurance company to get Mac added. His father's problem is that he doesn't BELIEVE me when I told him Mac could drive the truck without insurance because in this state the vehicle is insured, not the person. So I had to have my insurance boss call and tell him it was true.

Now we're sitting here waiting for SD to call so I can let Mac drive to his dad's house to get the truck so he can go drive alone. Why in the world SD didn't take care of this all yesterday is beyond me!

But the bottom line is that he passed and another milestone is reached.

Mac was so happy he even let me hug him in the DMV!!!!

Yahoo Mac!

Proud mama,
Maggie Mae

Mac was 'driving' me crazy!

I've been teaching Mac to drive for the last 2 months and a few days. I'm really proud of him and he's been doing a really good job.

There, of course, there are just a few times when I've wanted nothing more than to come home from a driving lesson and drink heavily. There are a few times I thought it would make more sense to drink heavily and then take him for a driving lesson.

I've also learned that it's too bad I couldn't get a brake installed on the front passenger side temporarily.

Actually, considering he drove about 3 times ever, before he got his permit, he's done a fabulous job! Other than having a heavy foot (re: speeding) he's a pretty decent driver. We've driven almost daily for 2 months. We've been in town, the interstate, country roads, highways, construction zones, bigger cities and small towns, in parking lots, one ways, neighborhoods, drive thrus, everywhere that I could think of that would help him gain driving skills.

I will admit I refused to teach him to parallel park. I can barely do that myself so I told his dad he had to cover that part of the lesson. Mac parallel parked about 25 times, over and over again, all over town, in his father's pick up truck on Tuesday night, until he nailed it perfectly. (Maybe he can give me some tips?)

Since he's my baby and he'll be the only child I ever have, this driving thing has been stressful on several levels. First, I want him to be a good driver and since he didn't take driver's education (he missed his when he moved from the Wild West back to Civilization and then it would've taken about $400 to attend a driving school) I taught him so I hope I didn't forget something in the driving process. Second, I only have one car and if he borrows it and would have an accident, I'm out the insurance deductible and a vehicle. Third, I'm scared to death to have him drive alone. I've spent the last 16.5 years taking care of him and if he's driving, then, his well being is totally out of my control and in his own hands or that of someone else driving a car who could be a stupid idiot. At least if I'm driving and something happened it would be my fault. What if he's driving and something happened? Then it's my fault, too, I guess, since I taught him to drive.

He's growing up and I'm scared. I hate this. I really do. I want him to have wings and fly and succeed but I'm terrified because he's my baby, and I want to protect him.

Which brings me to what happened Wednesday.

He had to take his driving test today with a driving instructor in my car at the DMV. We reviewed all the way there. He and I bounced "things to remember" off each: don't play the radio, turn off the cell phone, don't swear, remember to 10 and 2, no California stops, be aware of school zones and one way street signs, don't follow too closely, don't be sarcastic about anything, seatbelts at all times, watch the RR crossing, and don't speed on the highway (or anywhere else). He was a nervous wreck but still confident. (I was so nervous I threw up but didn't tell him that.)

The instructor said the test would be about 15-20 minutes long. They had been gone about 20 minutes and came back in. He failed the test.

She said they were on their way back to the DMV and he had done perfectly (including the parallel parking!) until he ran a stop sign. Yup, blew right through it. He didn't know the test was almost over or that he had a perfect score until then so he wasn't hurrying or celebrating. He had just left a school zone (where the yellow lights had been blinking) , in a neighborhood he had never been in, on a street he'd never been on, and near a fire station (he said he was concentrating on having to pull over if he hear a siren)- so much going on and he just missed it. No excuse, I know it, really I do. I understand he had to be failed. He knew it, too. Still, I felt sick for him.

The test lady told him he had done great until then but that's an automatic failure. She told him he just needed to relax and to try and not be so tense and nervous. She also told him he could come back in 2 weeks, and she wouldn't make him parallel park again since he did it so well.

I feel so bad, bad, bad for him. He was so upset. It really hit his self confidence and his self esteem. He feels embarrassed and stupid and like a failure. I feel like I failed him.

But in 2 more weeks we're gonna go back and he's gonna try it again. In the meantime, we're going to drive every single city street in this town so he's at least seen it all at least once.

Before the test I wasn't sure if I really wanted him to pass, that I just wanted a few more days of being in control of taking care of my baby boy, but after seeing the look on his face when he didn't make it--- I would take the "pass" and let me deal with my own stress than ever see him fail again.

Being a kid is very hard and life lessons to learn really suck, but being mom and letting him grow up is really hard, too. It all sucks.

Mama,
Maggie

Mac and the driver license permit

It is done. My baby has a driver's permit. The BMV gave him one. He's allowed to drive on the roads. With the rest of us. In a car. As the driver.

We've been studying and testing from the manual for a few weeks, and especially the last few days. I think I know driving rules of the road and signs better now than I ever have, which can't hurt.

Today was the big day. Mac didn't take drivers' training at school because he missed it in the Wild West by moving and he missed it here in Civilization because it's a summer course. So it's up to his dad and to me to teach him to drive. All I can say to that is: "Oh My God."

Before he could take the test I had to provide proof of his existence, as if his 5'11", 260 pound towering and hulking presence wasn't enough. I had his social security card, his birth certificate, and his school report card. Then he took the written test, which is all that's required for a permit, and he passed!!!!! He didn't miss any questions at all. The women working told him it had been a long time since anyone had a perfect score- he even got all the feet and yards stopping and passing questions. They thought he rocked!

After a picture that looks like a mug shot (like the rest of them in this state) and indicating he wanted to be an organ donor (with no prodding from me) by telling them "Sure I'll donate it all. I'm dead. Why do I need it?", we had to drive all over town: to Wal-Mart, out to his school, through a used car lot to shop for a car for him (after having his permit for 10 minutes), and to my house. So here I am 2 hours later, a quarter of a gallon of gas less, I'm wanting a shot of whiskey but he's driving. We also got a new wallet for the permit, some starter cash (his idea, not mine) for the wallet, and a picture of the Divine Ms. K for the photo slot. He also got a key ring (Superman emblem) and a copy of the key to my car, my treat!

In 60 days, he can take the driving test. He doesn't have to take another written test or another vision test. He just had to learn to drive and then demonstrate to a state approved instructor he can, then my baby is driving.

And I'll be attending AA meetings on a regular basis,
Mags