Friday, August 21, 2009

Come sail away

They say the sea is cold, but the sea contains
the hottest blood of all, and the wildest, the most urgent.
- the opening of "Whales Weep Not" by D.H. Lawrence

I've had a man tell me I'm like the sea. Maybe I am since I've always been attracted, drawn, mesmerized, almost obsessed, by the ocean. AlaskaSam told me the "sea is cold. She is a harsh mistress with violent temperament. But she sustains and brings life to the world. All life began in the oceans and eventually all life ends there as water sweeps across the land and flows to the sea carrying pieces of us. " There's an analogy there about us, or at least a long time ago that could've been true.

He also told me I'm the type of woman that give men a reason to go to war and it's my face that launches a thousand ships. Oh hella yeah, that man could give a compliment. And what is with the water theme?

But even before all those years ago when he said I was like the sea, I was attracted to the water. I've always been drawn to the ocean or even small bodies of water. I was torn between going to an Atlantic Ocean state or going to the Wild West. I got a job offer from the Wild West first so I went. But I've still been drawn to the water, which is sort of strange for being a kid born in a land locked state who never saw the ocean until she was 18 years old.

But there's something about the water, the ocean, the way it talks back to me. I can see my soul on the water. I know that sounds silly. The ocean talks back, holds a conversation, unlike the vast openness of the Wild West land. I yearn to be near water so much so that I often drive to points north of me, about 2.5 hours, to just walk the beaches of Lake Michigan. Yes, I know that's not the ocean but it's big enough to scratch my water itch.

I am dreaming of the ocean at night. I'm drawn with a magnetism I cannot describe. To say the sea is calling me is trite and insufficient.

A warm fire and a cold sea; symmetry. A soft bed, hard spray, gentle rhythm. The silence of a million years can be found in the swells and crest of the waves; a contradiction.

I need to find my center again. I need to find my inner peace. It's out there. Something is out there. Anything. Everything.

Every breath I take seems to match the swell and fall of the ocean. I think it's time for a road trip to the water.



Ty-Anna said...

great post and take that water road trip it will cleanse you :-) clear your mind :-)

Anonymous said...

Water calms me too. When I lived in Gainesville I could feel the water calling me when I got stressed. One of the reasons that I moved to this little town is that it was closer to the ocean and affordable. I am only a mile from the river and find that works its own magic.

Nothing wrong with Lake Michigan. I love it when House Hunters goes to Chicago!! It looks like a wonderful place to be. I've even looked up the different beaches there.

Go find your water and have a peaceful visit.


Shan said...

Maybe you should broaden your teaching job search out to the edges of the map a little. I'm sure you are near Daddio for a reason and with the boy and all it might be tricky but what teen wouldn't like the surf?

Sorry about your grand trouble. Life certainly isn't fair is it.

Anonymous said...

Wow, nothing wrong with this spot!
Stunning! Is this where you go?