Friday, March 12, 2010

A day in the life of me

Period 1:
After Student 1 snapped her friggin' gum at me for the third time, I told her to spit it out and SHE SAID NO. I was not impressed with that response. After pulling a referral out to write her up, she spit it out and then stuck her tongue out at me.

Period 2:
We had a sub who was the Bitch of all Bitches. This class can sometimes be a bit mouthy but for the most part, they're good kids. Well, they were being difficult and I was walking around helping them do a worksheet. The sub sat at her desk and watched me work the room. Then 5 minutes before the bell, she told the kids they talked too much and didn't work enough so she took their worksheets to turn in, rather than giving them as homework, knowing they weren't done. BUT she took mine. I always get a blank one so I can refer to it throughout the day when I helped kids. But she even took mine, telling me, "You don't need this." EXCUSE ME?!? The kids got quiet at that moment, waiting to see what I would do. I heard someone mutter, "Oh man, is she mad." They all sort of backed away. One girl patted my hand and asked me, "Do you need a time out, Ms. O'Sullivan?" The other kids waited to see what I would do and I walked over and pick a blank worksheet from the pile and walked out of the room. Props to me for not slamming the door or knocking her in the mouth with the history book- and those suckers are heavy!

Period 3:
We have a question on the board for the kids to answer. There is one on there at the beginning of every period, every day. They are to come in, sit down, write down the question and the answer and that begins the period. We just ended the 3rd quarter of school so they have done this for 27 weeks. I still have to tell kids, "write the question down." Today, one of my kids said, "No, I'm tired and I'm not gonna do it." I just walked away. I thought about whacking him with a text book but I just walked away and took about 3947432 deep breaths.

There is some kid who isn't anyone I know but he's in line. His shirt says, "Anger Management Classes really piss me off." I said to him that while that was funny, it was inappropriate and he needed to turn it inside out. He told me no. I told him yes. He asked why. I told him because the language was inappropriate it, and to go to the boy's room to change or go behind the pop machine and do it. He said "No, and you can't make me."

I was pissed. I had about had it. What really sucks, is that no, I couldn't MAKE him, unless I bashed him in the knees with a lunch tray and then kicked him in the nuts to disable him and while he was on the ground in pain, I might have been able to wrest the shirt from him. But legally, no, I couldn't make him. So I told the principal on him. He told the Principal no, and later I saw him in the office. So nanananananah!

Period 4 and 5 were without incident.

Period 6:
The gum snapper girl was at it again and I made her spit it out again- after she told me "no"- again. This time, she took another stick of gum from her pocket and stuck it in her mouth immediately. I made her spit that one out and told her if she put one more in I would write her up.

Period 7:
A group of kids were working on their homework and I was helping (actually, I had given up and I was pointing to the correct answers on the page and letting them write 'em down without looking them up on their own. Yeah, I suck. So, sue me.) The rest of the kids were working on the computers. One stupid girl who has no social skills and is too dumb to be in any classes other than basic math and reading, asked me if she could play games. Well, the regular teacher was out of the room and I wasn't sure so I told her no. She said, "Well everyone else is." I think I snapped. I said, ""Well, then you should've just played rather than ask me. They can play and YOU can't!!" Then she almost cried and I pointed my finger at her a yelled, "And don't even cry because I will not deal with that today." And she stopped and sat and pouted.

So this other boy, who is equally as dumb as she but he slobbers and lisps and has a crush on HER, came over and told me I wasn't nice to her. As he said this, he lisped and slobbered on me. And the kid next to me. That kid said, "Ummm, he slobbered on me!!!!! And the class laughed. I told slobber boy to mind his own business and to go sit down. He turned, took 3 steps, and FARTED really really REALLY loudly and the entire room was then a ball of hysteria. The classroom teacher was back and she didn't say a word. She just walked over with a can of air freshener, sprayed it in the direction of Slobber Boy's butt and walked away. The bell rang about 4 minutes later.

So, who wants to be a teacher?



Evil Pixie said...

Oh, my friggin' hell! There is no way I could do what you do. No way at all. I would definitely go to jail. Why? Because I would glue gum girl's lips together, I would have done exactly what you described to t-shirt boy, I would have taken a permanent marker to question boy and wrote it across his forehead, and I would have shoved the can of air freshener up fart boy's bum. Seriously, I would have done all this - fully know I would get sent to jail (or at least fired). This is why it is probably best I teach online college students.

That said, snaps to you for holding it together. You are seriously my hero.

Lilith said...

I would have written up gum smacking girl after she stuck her tongue out. And then again for each time she smacked her gum after you told her to spit it out again!

I want to know WTF is wrong with students this year. They are all being a bunch of asses! From elementary through college. It's like they expect us to just give them their grades/degrees without them having to do any work.

It's reasons like that and all the crap I have been dealing with that I am getting out of teaching!

Curley said...

The only thing I want to know is how t-shirt boy got all the way to lunch without some other teacher telling him he either had to turn the shirt inside out or head for the principal's office.

Bragger said...

One of our students had on a t-shirt the other day that said: "Drink Naked. It'll bring color to your cheeks."

During the last period of the day, I told him not to wear it anymore.

And then I laughed when he wasn't looking.

He's headed for the Marines, so he's not going to get to wear that crap much longer anyway.

Jimmie Earl said...

I had similar experience with that sub(Whom I am recommending that they ban from our building) the same day. I tried to keep my class under control, but alas, had to send one student to the alternative learning center and threaten another one with a visit to the principal's office. What is with these kids, anyway? I think they all need a dose of "tough love" from the staff and faculty. Is there a way we can do this legally? Boy, retirement is looking better all the time. Even if I have to tighten the ol' belt. Personally, I thought tee shirt boy's shirt was a scream. I want one!
p.s. Just take gum snapping girl out behind the gym and shoot her, please!

Bird said...

I tried to comment in the PS post..

Happy belated PS!! And I adore your pinks!!

Oh, and by reading your profile, you sound like fun! I'll stick around... ;)


Shan said...

The answer is a firm NO, but not a defiant one teach, only an answer. ;)

I gasped all the way through this!!! It's like teaching in Willy Wonka's factory without the Oompa Loompas for disciplinary measures and the chocolate for stress relief!!!

"Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, all day long."

Maggie said...

Evil P- I'll send bail money! ;)

Lilith- it's a good thing all sorts of teachers are getting laid off because everyone is sick of kids and are looking for a reason to start a new career!

Curley- I wondered the same thing! What in the hell were his periods 1-3 teachers doing? (Obviously not looking at his shirt!)

Bragger- oh that's funny!! And honestly, I probably would've laughed and never thought of having him change. Hmmmm, what does that say about my sense of humor and my sense of right and wrong? Oh, don't answer that!

JE- the sub sucked. And i thought his shirt was funny, too.

Bird- thanks for joining. And my comment button is at the top of each post, next to the titles so I think you probably tried to comment on the day 13 trivia post which is closed. BUT thanks for reading, commenting, and following. I hope you enjoy!

Shan- I would rather have "oompa loompas" for sure!