Sunday, February 20, 2011

The joy of motherhood doesn't usually involve the police but this time is the exception

There were three boys. Mac, who is basically a good kid regardless of how much crap he gives me; his friend IP who is a good kid who is an honor student and an athlete; and Big N who is a good kid and an athlete and a member of the national honor society. They all make good grades. They all stay out of trouble, mind their parents and are just the type of "good" kids most other parents want their kids to hang around with.

Big N is a super sweetie. He's built like Michael Phelps (that's where the similarities stop) but is just a big teddy bear. Mac is like the heavier-set version of Seth Rogan, while IP is the cool stud kid (who actually really borders on nerd). And to be honest with you- all three of these boys are dorks. They are. They have no game. They play video games. Then still giggle when they talk about girls. Suave is not in their vocabulary. They would rather play a Halo tournament and eat pizza than have a date.

So ITSam and I are just settling down to watch a movie when Mac called, hysterical, because he said he was pulled over and was chased and the cops were sending him home and would be calling me. Wha??????????????????

So, the boys get here and the three of them tell me the story: Big N, Mac and IP were just driving around. They were downtown and Big N grabbed my umbrella out of the car and would jump out of the car and dance around and jump back in. A piece of the umbrella tip broke and Big N threw it out the window. A block later they were being chased by two guys in a pick up truck. The truck guys chased the boys all over town and then out into the country. The truck guys kept pulling up behind Mac's car, just inches from him. Then Mac sped off and suddenly saw lights and was pulled over.

I guess the boys sat there and three police cars showed up. Big N was asked to step out of the car and ushered into one of the police cars and questioned alone. Another officer talked to Mac. No one talked to IP. Then they told the boys to go home and the police would call me after they gathered information.

The boys where shaking and hysterical. They were worried they were going to jail. All they could figure out from the conversations with the police was that the piece of umbrella that Big N threw out of the car hit the truck windshield and broke it.

The sheriff deputy arrived and thank God it was a guy who used to work at Alcatraz and knew ITSam. As a matter of fact, deputy and Sam were in a church band together as well as working together, and they also used to work out together at a gym. Furthermore, this deputy just dropped his laptop off for Sam to fix, as a favor. This was a gift from the heavens, I must admit.

He and Sam chatted and basically what happened, according to deputy, was that the truck guys thought the boys threw a rock at them and were following them while they were on the phone with the police, staying with them so the cops could pull the kids over.

It was just a matter of timing that three cops answered the call at the same time. Deputy said as soon as he started talking to the kids they KNEW the boys didn't do anything on purpose. When they asked Big N to step out of the car, he got out with his hands up and asked if he should have lawyer. I guess the cops were trying not to laugh hysterically in their faces.

I told deputy what the boys said and he said he wanted to see the umbrella dance. He said the guys in the truck were just dumb rednecks who were pretty pissed off. He said the boys didn't do any damage to the truck and that he wasn't really happy with the truck guys for intimidating the kids. Deputy wanted to know how these boys knew each other since they were all different schools and grades and I said they all met at... church youth group. He asked which one and when I told him he said his father-in-law is in charge of that church. The deputy about peed himself with laughter.

Deputy then went to the kitchen to talk to the boys. Big N started crying, IP called his mom who was on his way, and Mac is trying to explain and calm everyone down. Big N was offering to pay for the wind shield and write letters of apology and then cried the deputy had to step away for a minute to compose himself. He asked Big N about the umbrella and he admitted to dancing and being "Umbrella Man." I had to leave the room and Sam was already in maniacal laughing fits in the living room.

Deputy told Big N he wanted to see the umbrella dance. (Big N grabbed the umbrella and was really going to do it until the cop stopped him and said he was joking). He also told him he should buy me a new umbrella! (It was a really nice, a collector's item umbrella of a Degas ballerina dancer painting that was pretty expensive, too). I have to admit- I would love to see the dance, too. He told them he knew they weren't gang bangers and typical trouble makers but next time to not throw things out the window.

Deputy came back in the living room with Sam and me to wait for IP's mom to get there so he could tell her to not worry, and that they boys weren't in any trouble. Deputy told us if he was friends with Big N he would never let him forget any of it- the crying, dancing or Umbrella Man. He said he couldn't believe what nice, nerdy kids they were. He also said all the cops all at the scene almost cracked up when Big N got out of the car with his hands up. (Later, Big N said that was what always happened on Law and Order which is as close to the police he's ever been) He said they were stuttering and sputtering and scared, so he knew it was all a misunderstanding. He said he had to smile when they all started giving their resumes about clubs and societies and athletics and they had never been in trouble with the law and had no idea what to do- he said that was pretty obvious.

IP's mom was relieved that there was no trouble, as was I. Everyone left and all is fine, but I have to say it was the funniest moment ever involving the police. I think they learned a very important lesson. Big N will never live down the crying. Usually mom's aren't happy when their kids and cops are involved with each other, but I have to admit this was a funny moment and I think it scared them a bit, which is good for the future.

Oh, and by the way... deputy and a bunch of other law enforcement offers were meeting for dinner after he left my house and he couldn't wait to tell this story to the other officers. He said it was awesome and he probably won't have to buy his own dinner because he'll have the best story. Cop humor.

Ah, the joys of parenthood!

Nerdy Mac's mom,


Curley said...

Glad that it all turned out ok. Just glad that the country rednecks didn't get hold of them. I'm sure that would have scared them worse than the cops. Oh, and glad they learned a lesson about not litering.

Mellodee said...

Nerdy or not, those 3 sound like great kids that their parents can be proud of. Isn't it funny how an event can be different things to different people depending on their point of view??!!

Thank God there are still "good" kids out there. Sometimes we forget that and despair!

Wiley said...

That is a brilliant story, definitely one to treasure. And it speaks volumes about you as a parent, too. Nice work.

Would love to see a youtube clip of the umbrella dance, though...