Friday, January 1, 2010

So what did you do on New Year's Eve?

The last time I went bowling was in April 2006 with Mac, one afternoon after school because we were bored. Until last night, that was the last time was bowling. Yup, you read that right. Maggie Mae went bowling.

I also want to say right now that while I love and adore shoes, I think bowling shoes are really really gross. I mean really gross. But I had to wear them because that was the bowling alley rules; they wouldn't allow me to wear my socks, which was too bad because I wore these adorable Life Saver striped toe socks. At least they weren't warm when I put them on.

Okay, so yes I went bowling. XRayGirl and her Hubby invited me to do something with them on New Years Eve and this is what they came up with and I'm game for about anything. Then she calls and tells me it's a couples event. Well, I'm not part of a couple, obviously, so then she tells me she'll fix me up with someone.

So here are the facts: I have a blind date. On New years Eve. To go bowling. Apparently XRayGirl's Hubby has a friend named Bruce and I apparently met him at some point and that's who they were going to fix me up with. XRayGirl told me I said when I met him that I thought he was cute. Okay. No stress. I haven't been bowling in 3 years and I'm not that good to start with- if I can break 75 I consider it a stellar, successful game. I had to put on someone else's shoes in public. And now I have a date on top of it, which I haven't been on a "real" date since March. (I don't consider seeing Trooper in August a date any more... I have some illogical rationale for that which I will explain in another post) Oh no pressure at all.

And what does one wear to bowl anyway? XRayGirl tells me all the time I'm way to dressed up when we just get together for dinner but that's just how I dress. So I went with jeans and a new shirt I got for Christmas that's in shades of dark pink. What goes with 3 tone bowling shoes? Anyway... I digress.

Since Mac was going to a Halo party (think 5 teenage boys with 5 tvs, 5 Xboxes, all linked together and a case of Mountain Dew...) XRayGirl, etal were picking me up so Mac could have the car. When they arrived, Bruce was not there but a back up. Apparently Bruce, unbeknownst to XRayGirl and her Hubby, got back together with his x-wife...he didn't think going on a New Years Eve date with me was a good idea). I was introduced to Kenny.

I want to say right now there was no way in Hell I was going to kiss him at midnight. There was no way I would kiss him if I was told a huge fiery meteor was going to obliterate the earth and he was the last person I would see. If he was the last man on Earth and I was the last woman on Earth, the human population would die out.

Kenny was bald, not stylish bald but just bald. He had no teeth. His pants were falling off, not in a stylish baggy way but a don't fit and don't own a belt way. he smoked brown cigarettes and sounded like he had swallowed a mouthful of gravel and smelled like he forgot to shower. In the last decade at any time.

When we arrived at the bowling ally, I grabbed XRayGirl by the hair arm and yanked her to the bathroom and before I could say anything she explained about Bruce and stressed that Kenny was NOT A DATE. She made it clear to him that this was NOT A DATE with me, that we just need a fourth for the bowling event. I was relieved. OMG, was I ever relieved. I had told XRayGirl she couldn't fix me up with someone she herself would not go out with and she said she wouldn't touch Kenny with a 10 foot pole but he was nice. And he didn't have plans for New Years Eve. Gee, I wonder why?

But he was nice and funny and couldn't bowl worth a shit. And he mostly didn't talk to me but gabbed with XRayGirl's Hubby, which was fine with me. Once I knew that this was NOT A DATE and knew Kenny knew and UNDERSTOOD it was NOT A DATE, then I could relax and have fun.

The bowling was 4 games. The guys threw the first ball and the women picked up the spares if there were pins to spar. This was games 1 and 3. In games 2 and 4 the women went first and the guys picked up the spars. There was also all you can eat pizza and breadsticks and a champagne toast at midnight. There were cash prize drawings during the evening. We had a lot of fun. My bowling scores for the night (well, I guess mine and Kenny's) was (in order of games 1-4) an 85, 98, 137, and a 99. By the time we got to the last game Kenny was so drunk he couldn't see the lanes. Well, so was XRayGirl's Hubby. I was the designated driver. XRayGirl only had a few beers. I actually threw 3 strikes over the course of the four games! Go me! Whoot-whoot!

We all laughed and had fun and rang in the New Year with a countdown and "Auld Lang Syne" on the jukebox.

It was a sober time well spent with friends and lots of laughs. And good pizza.

Strikin' and sparin',


Bragger said...

I'm soooooooooooo glad he wasn't a date. Hubby is bald, but in a sexy way. We watched football, I had one amaretto sour, and we were in bed by 9:00. I felt sooooooooooo much better than New Year's Days of the past. Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Maggie said...

Bragger- I too was sooooooooooo glad this wasn't a date. I usually find bald sexy but this bald in a "I just got of prison" sort of way. Ick.

Sounds like you had a good night, too!

Lilith said...

OMG, we SO should go bowling!!!

Maggie said...

Lilith- we should! that would be hilarious!

sam said...

Happy New Year!

Glad you had fun. I watched the ball drop. Barrel of fun I am!


Kelly G. said...

I'm sorry I've been a stranger lately. So much going on lately both awful and incredibly wonderful.

Anyway....I'm glad that you had a great New Year's Eve, and I'm sorry that your date wasn't cuter.

And speaking of bald should ask Farrago how his New Year's Eve was. ;)