Sunday, January 17, 2010

What's in a name?

Since my brother and his wife are expecting a baby in June, the naming of said baby is always a fun topic of discussion. (even my friends and I are "naming" their baby, even if they aren't around! Though if we come up with good names, I send my suggestions to my sister-in-law. Not that I expect them to listen to me, but my sis-in-law is polite in giving me an ear and never tells me she thinks the names are stupid, which I greatly appreciate it.)

But when talking about names for the baby, we always come around to what Hollywood Couples are naming their kids and I think celebrities are idiots. XRayGirl and I came to this conclusion. The evidence?

Seriously, I always hear what some famous person named their kid and my brain says, "What in the hell were these idiots thinking?" Just because they are famous doesn't give them liberty to name their children stupid things. I am so tired of famous people doing stupid things and this is an example that will haunt their children for the rest of their lives. For pete's sake.

Gwyneth (Paltrow) and Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay) had a baby and named him Moses. Now there is nothing wrong with the name Moses if you are spiritual or religious or leading people out of a country or parting a sea... but, come one, these are the same people who named their daughter Apple! Some examples of the idiot Hollywood elite who so obviously lack naming skills are:

  • Indiana and August- parent -Casey Affleck
  • Coco- Courtney Cox's kid
  • Ireland (Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin)- she is a girl, by they way, since the name is not gender indicative.
  • -Zowie (David Bowie) this is a boy and I appreciate good alliteration and a rhyme scheme; note I said "GOOD"
  • Ocean, True and Sonnet - these are Forest Whitaker's kids and I have no idea on gender; I see therapy in their future...
  • Pilot Inspektor Lee, son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf. This has got to be in the top 2 of the dumbest baby names in the world or in the history of naming babies. I think they should be been drug tested before being able to name the child; any drugs in the system and the baby should have a mandatory name of John or Jane.
  • Audio Science Clayton, son of Shannyn Sossaman and Dallas Clayton. This has got to be in the top 2 dumbest baby names in the world or in the history of naming babies. 'Nuff said!
  • Crumpet Cohen, daughter of Lisa Vidal and Jay Cohen. After a British pastry. WTF?

I only have one child and his name is normal. We know that his real name isn't Mac but it's a derivative from his middle name, but according to people who know him say he has a "normal" name; a good Irish name, but a normal name. If I would've had a girl she would be Isabella Grace. I consider that name to be MINE in the family until I hit menopause, just in case. I will probably never have another child- good Lord willing (and since I've practicing abstinence right now with no prospects, well... you know), but I do like the idea of naming kids.

So I've come up with the perfect new job for me. I think the Hollywood couples who are going to pick STUPID names, should hire me to name their kids. I would do a good job, and the world would not have any more kids call Audio or Crumpet or Inspektor.



Bragger said...

Amen, sista!

And a corollary post to this one could be the way some people these days name their children normal things, but with abnormal spellings. Like Lynzey. Give me a large personal break.

Wiley said...

Yeah, I have no idea what these celebrities are thinking. It's just mean! I mean, crumpet?? Who would name their baby girl after a pejorative term for an attractive - if easy - woman? What kind of future do they have in mind for this kid??

sam said...

I wrote a really long comment but it's looks like it didn't go through.

Simply....weird names are just weird.

Oh well.


Maggie said...

Bragger- okay you and I could team up and write a post about normal names spelled stupidly that's for sure. I'm going to have to start compiling!

Wiley- I had no idea crumpet meant easy woman! add that to the list of things that kid is gonna have to overcome. Wonder if they knew the 'slang' term? prolly not.

Patti- sadly, no, your comment didn't come through, which sucks. And you are right, it can be summed up with weird, alright!