Monday, May 31, 2010

Teenage Wasteland

Saturday Mac was going to graduation open houses and then to a bonfire. I know what that means- kegger. Before he left, I told him to not become a cliche nor a statistic and to not drink and drive. If he got drunk, I told him to either call me for a ride, sleep over at the party or sleep in his car. And before he left, my uncle also told him to not be afraid to call for a ride. (Please don't judge my parenting... it was a choice I made.)

Apparently he goes to the open houses and then to the bonfire. He gets there and pretty much everyone he knows is pretty much blatto and the big rumor is that the party is going to be busted by the cops. Mac decides, when he heard that, to stay sober. He hangs out and then the word goes out that the cops are on the way to raid the party so he gets a bunch of kids in his car and they all take off, him being the designated driver.

The girl who was hosting the drunken bonfire we'll call ADumbAssGirl because she posted on her Facebook about her kegger which is how the cops knew about it- idiot. She ended up in Mac's car, as did two of Mac's best buds, R and J. ADumbAssGirl want to go to a little town about 25 minutes from here. Mac said no but she then said she would drive herself, so he decides to drive her and incur the wrath of me later. But just as they get to the edge of town ADumbAssGirl has him pull into a parking lot and she gets out of the car and into another with a guy, leaving Mac and his friends to follow them, to go to another party. Mac is sober and while R and J were fairly drunk they all decide they don't want to go to the party because they guy ADumbAssGirl got in the car with is a known around town drug dealer- they should it was a bad idea.

So J suggests they go hang out at his patents lake cabin. It hadn't been opened up yet and the floor was covered with rat poop but they decided "what the heck- why not?". As Mac pulls into the cabin driveway, another car comes in behind them and 3 more guy friends spill out. As Mac steps on the break to stop the car, he hears a weird sound from the rear. He thought the guys behind him hit him. They all look at the rear of the car and determine no danger so Mac opens the trunk. And do you know what was there?

Two bottles of 7-Up, a gallon of generic Hawaiian Punch, and two Dirty Thirties. For those of you who don't speak 17-year old boy, that means there were two 30 packs of beer. In Mac's trunk. No one knows where it came from. All they can think is that ADumbAssGirl was supposed to bring it to the next party and when the guys didn't go...

to them, it was manna from the gods.

So what are six 17 and 18 year old boys to do on a Saturday night on the first weekend of summer vacation at a deserted lake cabin when faced with 60 cans of beer? Oh yeah.

So they drank beer and hung out at the lake, sat around being stupid guys and trading stories and just... being.

Mac slept in his car because even he was to weak to withstand the siren call of 60 cans of free beer for the taking.

At this point in my narrative, I would like to point out that I get this entire story from Mac when he got home Sunday morning. Without a shirt. Missing one shoe. When he left the house Saturday night, I distinctly remember he had on a shirt, and 2 shoes.

So Sunday morning he fills me in and all he really remembers is that it was hot outside so they were all sitting around without shirts. (Keep the homo-erotic comments to your collective selves, please). They didn't want to go in because of the rat poop and it was too hot to sleep in the car so he took of his shirt. He can't exactly explain the shoe. I don't think I want to know. It was just a flip-flop.

Two funny things:
1) One kid convinced the others to smoke a joint. They passed it around and Mac said he never smoked pot before but thought- what the hell. (Again, we aren't going there as parents right now) He thought it smelled really flowery and tasted terrible and burned and was awful. Until the kids who got the other 5 to smoke let them in on the joke: they smoked room freshener incense. Dumbasses.

2) Mac came straight in the house and went straight to the bathroom and showered. Because he drank about 14 beers and then passed out and then subsequently peed on himself in his sleep... yeah. I also made him clean the car seat.

At least he didn't drink and drive. And he didn't let his friends drive drunk.

He would probably kill me if he knew I told this story to the blogging world, but I just can't help it. There is so much stupidity crammed into one evening. And when you see those teen comedy drinking movies you can stop wondering what inspires them...

Mac's mom,


Linda M said...

Dare I laugh? Yep ha ha ha ha. I was oh no, then that's not so bad. You always wonder what they don't tell you, but your son sounds honest and he told you a lot lol. One good thing is he trusts you enough to tell you what happend. Of course the most important thing was he didn't drink and drive.

I can laugh now because my girls are long past that stage at 34 and 29. There were some nights I didn't sleep till they were home during those teen years. The school put on a dry grad but are smart enough to know that a lot of the kids would also go to a wet grad. After 3 kids were killed the previous year the school started something different. The school hired a bus to take the kids to a unknown destination so they could camp, drink and party for the night. Each year they pick a different place. They had to stay overnight and were picked up the next morning by the bus. Since then thanfully there has been no deaths.

The part about smoking room freshener incense makes me laugh every time I think about it.

The fun of being a mom eh lol

Anna said...

I can't remember my comment because I'm still laughing about the air freshener joint :-D You 2 have a wonderful relationship filled with open honesty and trust and I think that is the way to go. I have a 20 year old and a 17 year old so I totally understand.

what a night what happened to ADumbAssGirl?

Dolly said...

Maggie it is so tough being a parent period and then with peer pressure and all it makes it even tougher for us to influence our children!
You did good honey......
Kids are gonna drink if they want to!
My cousin was just killed by a drunk driver......
So its perfect to always always remind them not to drive drunk or buzzed!
Don't be too embarrassed to call for a ride or call a cab.
I always tell my questions asked just call!

Two thumbs up to Mac!

Thanks for entering my give away.
Good Luck

sam said...

Ahh, the days of puke and hangovers.


Maggie said...

Linda- oh please, do laugh! Gawd, can you BELIEVE them? I was laughing practically hysterically as Mac told me about it.

And wow that a school would sponsor a bus trip to a secret place for a drinking party. I can't believe someone hasn't sued over that yet.

Anna- thanks for your kind words- being a mom is crazy sometimes, ya know? And Mac said ADumbAssGirl went to another party with that guy and never noticed that he and R and J never showed!

Dolly- thanks for the positive comments. And I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, though. I just didn't want Mac to learn that sort of life lesson, ya know? Being a parent is rough!

Sam/p- sad part he didn't hang nor did he puke. Brat.

Curley said...

Glad he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't remember to stay put and sleep it off in the car and that he was somewhere that the cops wouldn't cruise by and stop. Hope he wasn't covered in mosquito bites and/or ticks/ciggers. And you are a great mom.

Sara Chapman said...

I'd still like to know how he feels about the binge, whether he would do it again. That's a LOT of beer to consume. I also think it's great he can share the experience with you but wonder what he got out of it.

Really? 17 and 18 year olds have no idea what pot actually smells like? How surprising.

Maggie said...

Curley- the point of Js cabin was it was so out of the way, cops wouldn't be looking. And they didn't turn on lights of build a fire so they wouldn't attract attention. And I have no idea why there are no bites from bugs. Lucky i guess? Or the smell of beer keeps 'em away?

Sara- yeah, he would do it again. I asked. It is a lot of beer; glad he's a BIG kid which helps a bit, I guess. And I don't think he really "got" anything out of it other than it was one of those "Stand By Me" movie moments. Bunch of guys, beer, the night time, almost the end of high school, bunch of their friends gone, male bonding, teenage freedom, invincibility, that sort of thing...

And according to Mac, the other four boys thought it smelled funny for pot but didn't say anything since sometimes the "good shit" can have a weird smell (and I remember that from back in the day....) Mac said he hadn't smelled pot before that he was aware of so he had no clue what it was supposed to smell like...!

The W.O.W. factor! said...

Oh Maggie...I'm sure you are going to have more tales to tell! Scary and funny! Glad it's YOU in this day and kids put me thru enough for what was "available" to them then!
Easy to giggle from my chair...
(ps..w/o a computer, I didn't get any emails...I didn't dare use the work computer to check...I wanted to tho!)

Kimberly said...

Being a mom is not easy. I kinda dread the days I have to explain all drug and drinking.

I was a daredevil when I was young, and my husband was innocent. That is embarrassing!

Hope you will join us for "Mia Monday" Post your favorite photos of yourself at anytime in your life. Lin up your site every Monday, and share a comment.

Wiley said...

Hey, he didn't dink and drive - sounds like a major parenting win to me!

The room freshener is brilliant though. Hee hee.