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Saturday, May 8, 2010

The accuracy of fortune cookies

The other day XRay Girl and I went for Chinese food and of course we had the complimentary fortune cookie before we left.

Now, I read somewhere that the only way your cookie fortune would come true is if you actually ate a piece of the cookie. Has anyone else heard that part of the lore? Okay, so anyway, I usually never eat a piece of the cookie until I actually read the fortune just in case I got something dumb. I know that's silly but..... I just can't help it.

Since I was with XRay Girl and we were chatting away and I popped a piece in my mouth and then read my fortune, without even thinking. I had already swallowed or I would've spit that sucker right on the floor. My fortune was "Old Friend will come back to you." Now this doesn't SOUND like a bad thing, right? It could be good in a few ways, but to me, old friends resurfacing are never positive- that usually spells trouble. Because those "old friends" are usually of the male persuasion that I slept with. Any other old friends I might have aren't really people I want to see either, but the kicker of that, is usually they don't want to see me either! And there aren't many "old friends" that I don't stay in touch with already someway or another so....

Now if I try and put a positive spin on said cookie's prediction, it could be telling me that DNice is moving back to the Midwest from the Wild West, which is a hellva lot closer, like 2800 miles closer (which is totally awesome!). But I already KNEW this so it's not predicting any sort of fortune! A fortune cookie isn't called a "reinforce what you know" cookie!

Yes, I know this is a freaking fortune cookie, but hello??? Isn't that why we read them!? I do realize it's a good thing all Americans aren't like me with the whole worrying about the fortune cookie thing because then China could be taking over the country, one Asian Buffet at a time.

HERE'S THE THING!!! The very next day, which would be May 6, I get an email from... an old Sam. Damn it! This is a very sexy Sam (for those of you who knew me a long time ago, he was aka 'The Moor'). A very persuasive Sam. A Sam who, while we sort of dated briefly and we used each other more for bootie calls (notice I said each other) than anything else and I haven't heard from him since I was living in the Wild West, out of the clear blue I get an email from this particular Sam. And we shot emails back and forth and I made it clear I am not interested in sleeping with him, he still emails. He's the guy who takes that as a challenge and wants, now, to go out to dinner, dancing, to a movie. He's proposed lots of things, said he'll come to town or we can meet half way between where were live and "hang out" or I can come to his place for a BBQ and watch movies, just as old friends.

Now I've been celibate for over 420 days and I'm not ready to throw that away for just a bootie call. Even though he is hot..................

I knew we should've gone to Applebee's for dinner. Damn fortune cookies.

Love,
"Sister Mary Maggie Mae"

8 comments:

TaDa said...

your suppose to read your fortune and say (in bed) after.... LOL....and I never eat the flippen cookie...

hugs

TaDa

Bragger said...

I'm with you....old friends coming back to you aren't always good. It's awkward at best and usually inconvenient. As for the old Sam.... I say pass. But then I haven't been celibate for 420 days either....

Southern Sage said...

420 days?
Sheeeesh

no wonder all the yes's!

Maggie said...

TaDa- oh we all always play the "in bed" with the fortune cookies. We all always say "Between the sheets" after we read the titles of hymns in the hymnal at church too...

Bragger- this sounds so weird, even to me, but I totally don't want to give it up for just one night! then I have to start counting all over again. If I'm breaking that sort of streak I want sex on a multiple times a day basis.

And old friends are called "old" for a reason....

Maggie said...

Southern Sage-- oh my goddess, as I live and breathe, thanks for visiting and commenting. And for giving me multiple yeses- holy shit, it's times like these I regret moving from the Wild West when I had all those cowboys to... cowgirl up against.

Southern Sage said...

BWhaahahahaha.

Well since I am on the Redneck Riviera I dunno about what is in the old west!

Maggie said...

Southern S- not OLD west but I lived in the WILD West-- huge difference. And from what I've seen of you- you'd fit real well there! ;)

Southern Sage said...

Ahhhhhhh WILD west. Got it. How wild? Hmmm yeah I think I might be down with that.