Friday, November 20, 2009

Planting the Shrew's

Though I guess technically the title of this post is a lie since we didn't stick them in the ground so they're 'planted'; they're interred in a mausoleum.

But I'm starting at the end of the story, rather than the beginning.

About a month or so ago Grandmother Shrew had a heart attack and went in the hospital and then she went into a nursing home, the same one where Grandfather Shrew was at.

She was there about a month and since they were all about saving money, she went home with a home health care nurse. Then 48 hours later she died in her sleep. There's some medical stuff that happened post-mortem (like a helicopter ride to a big hospital in Northern Civilization and sticking her accidentally on life support until all her paperwork was gathered and the DNR was found. But no one is mad at the hospital [that I know of] because she was at 4 or 5 medical facilities in the last six weeks, so who can blame 'em? And who really cares?)

So she died and my brother took care of all the funeral stuff. There wasn't much really since she and Grandfather Shrew had preplanned it and pre-paid it all. He only had to take care of some basics. My Grandmother Shrew had a cousin she was VERY close to and my Grandmother's best friend is the estate executor so those 2 ladies and my brother did it all. Which is fine with me, all things considered about how I felt.

Her viewing was last Sunday and I didn't go, which I'm sure comes as no surprise. I also made sure it was okay with my brother; the last thing in the world I want is a rift with him (he carries a grudge FOREVER). He was fine with it. Then, during the viewing, Grandfather Shrew died.

So, my brother (and the cousin and the executor) and the funeral home jumped through some hoops and got him ready. On Monday there was a brief viewing for him and then a double funeral for them both. I went to the funeral. That was it. I didn't do the viewings, the graveside service nor the church dinner.

They are dead.

After shooting off my mouth about them here in blog-land and well, everywhere else, I'm not sure of the appropriate way to say anything now. I certainly don't regret what I've said at all. My problem with how far to go it this: Sometimes my brother, and sister-in-law read this, so I don't want to just "hang it all out there" and upset them. But...

Let me think on what I want to say.

I did, however, want to give ya'll the details of their demises, since I put you all through their living-ness, which sometimes shouldn't be foisted on anyone. Sorry about that.

Alrighty then, more on this later, okay?

Maggie Mae


Shan said...

Oh dear Maggie. I feel like you will grieve this whole thing eventually but you are too hurt now perhaps. (?) It must have been extremely what's the word......thinking.....oh SURREAL to lose them both at once. And that would make it more like a movie and less like real happenings in one's own life. I hope you have forgiven them for their faulty behaviors. I'm sorry they hurt you so. xo

Maggie said...

Shan- it really was surreal and movie like. It kept thinking this was something I should be seeing on the big screen.

And unfortunately, I've not forgiven them. I actually regret I didn't have the chance to tell them off before they died. maybe this is the angry stage of grief?

But part of them also thinks I went through the grieving process before they died because I think I saw them 6 times (2 holidays, 1 at Ms K's baptism, 1 time at her birthday, the day we tried to reconcile, and the day I was disowned) in the last two years, and talked on the phone one additional time. I think I also already grieved the loss of them in my life.

I do know I'm tired of them and the drama they've caused.

And thank you for your kind words,, too. I should've said that first. YOU are a good person!