Ack!!! This is what happens when I watch too many movies after drinking too much wine after working on the World's Largest Rummage sale shit all day long after getting all hot and sweaty... And because my feet hurt. Okay, so that has nothing to do with anything, but they do hurt...
"For me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is... I can't deal with the day to day life of a relationship. Yeah, [he and I] have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside... Even being alone it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. You start off that way, and, after you've been screwed over a few times, you, you forget about all your delusional ideas, and you just take what comes into your life. God, I'm sorry, is it, is it really that bad? It's not, right?..."[He] reminded me how... genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love, I don't feel things for people anymore. In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one [man] and I was never able to feel all this again. Like somehow this [man] took things away from me and I expressed them to [him] and [he] took them! It made me feel cold, like love wasn't for me!... You know, I guess I've been heart broken too many times. And then recovered. So now, you know, from the start, I make no effort." ~ Celine, Before Sunset
I want a man who wants to kiss me, who thinks about kissing me while he's at work and when he finally does get to kiss me, he's smiling when he pulls away from me. I want a man who can make me laugh, who will spoon me at night and wake in the middle of it to make love. I want a man who doesn't care that I like to wear a sleep mask to bed at night that looks like Holly Golighty's or that's pink silk with the word 'princess' in black sequins or one that's pink foam. I want a man who thinks my quirks are cute and charming. I want a man who's happy to see me or smiles when I walk into a room. I want a man who doesn't fuss that I want to eat a piece of chocolate before I go to sleep while lying in bed, or who will indulge my silly whims. I want a man who thinks I'm sexy and playful and will play board games with me. I want a man who hates country music, and loves to sing karaoke, a man who isn't afraid to be silly and will fly by the seat of his pants like me. I want a man who will simply hand me a tissue when he walks into the room and finds me sobbing over an old movie I've watched hundreds of times, who won't say a word about my shoe obsession, and who will discuss/ debate politics with me, who likes to read and wants to help me fix dinner and then sit down together to eat it and laugh and talk. I want him to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's with me and be willing to HAVE breakfast at Tiffany's with me- and "get" the point and who understands that I also get the mean reads like Holly. I want a man who would spend a rainy day in bed with me talking and having sex and napping the whole time, even maybe missing work to do this. I want a man who understands the importance of reading the Sunday NY Times in bed over bagels and coffee while listening to NPR. I want a man who understands the importance of reading the Washington Post even though I live in the Midwest. I want a man who won't make fun that I like the change the bed sheets twice a week or who will go with me to Hobby Lobby and not complain. I want a man who I can make laugh. I want him to place his hand on the small of my back to lead me through a door or to hold my hand when we go to the movies or go for a walk. I want him to like spending hours and hours in old bookstores and drinking Starbucks coffee and is willing to eat lots of butter on a big tub of popcorn and who's willing to see a movie every week and not complain of the abhorrent prices, and who would just love me." ~ Maggie