Monday, May 28, 2012

New meaning to 'dead putt'

I think we should conserve land and build gold courses on top of cemeteries. Yep, I do. I think cemeteries are a waste of land but people seem to need them (and that's okay!!!) and since we don't live in a police state with mandatory cremation (yet) I think we could combine golf courses with cemeteries.

Follow me here.

First, it would have to be a no stone cemetery, obviously because golf balls can't be whacking into head stones; that would be a very unsatisfying hazard. That wouldn't make for a fun game at all. To address the matter of the missing headstone, I say that at each tee box, there should be a plaque with a list of names of people buried on that fairway, at that particular hole. There's one one special spot to go, but an entire area for that hole.

Second, loved ones can't leave flowers just willy-nilly all over the ground at a golf course so there could be a chapel where people can leave flowers. The names of the golf course buried are engraved on the walls of this chapel and it would be open to the families anytime the golf course is open.

Third, I think the golf course should be closed every Tuesday from 11am- 4pm for burials. One day a week, all people are buried so it can be open the other 6 days. I also think that after the burial and the families leave, then the graves are covered over, mashed flat and sod it laid down and watered. Grave maintenance is also done on this day- say, adding more dirt and sod to a sunken spot, engraving at the tee boxes, and that sort of stuff.

No one gets buried on a the putting green or the driving range.

It's just an idea. I think there are avid golfers who might actually go for it.


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