Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Mac's Sperm Donor rears his ugly face... and here I thought he was dead

NO such luck. Wishful thinking. He's still alive and kicking and living on the other side of town.

This is a jerk who hasn't spoken a civil word to his son for a year. The last time they talked was February, on the phone and it ended with Mac hanging up on his father. Then one day in late April or early May Mac's itunes account wouldn't work. So he actually text his father about it who said he shut it off. Mac called him and cussed him out. Then he hung up on him. That is the total contact he's had with this so called father person.

Sperm Donor missed his honor's choir performance, 3 high school choir performances, every single football game, 2 band concerts, 3 plays he was in, and his athletic awards dinner. That's what I can think of off the top of my head. Not to mention the fact he's missed just about all the things a dad should do. He's just missed out on a year of Mac's life, of his growing up, his first girlfriend, his first crush, learning to drive, day to day stuff. He missed him applying to colleges, college visits, and the glory of getting in a college (his second choice, but still!!) with a HUGE scholarship! His SD has missed this all and had no clue what an awesome kid he has. That stupid M#$%^@F%*&er!!!!!!

So, in mid November, Mac gets a text from his SD telling him he saw his name on the honor roll, for grades and how proud he was of him. Mac told me and then waited a week and sent a response back that said "thanks." Here's where I think fate played: two days later Mac gets an auto-generated reply from Sprint saying his message was undeliverable. Mac said then it wasn't meant to be.

Until last week his dad just calls him out of the blue. They had a conversation. Which led to a lunch. I didn't ask a lot of questions, frankly, because I wasn't sure I could keep a civil tongue in my head. What Mac did tell me was that his father didn't apologize (figures), wanted to put it all behind them and go on like nothing happened (oh I bet he does, so like him to cause havoc and want to then pretend he's innocent in it all), and informed Mac he's in $38k of credit card debit (and what does that have to do with Mac, I'd like to know?). Mac said other than that, lunch was fine and the pizza was good.

Then Mac went with him 2 days later and they hung out for an afternoon. Mac wanted to go shopping with some girls from school but couldn't get all their schedules arranged. I told him I would take him and he said okay. I guess he had a conversation with his dad who said he would take Mac shopping so he went. I was so pissed off!!!!!!!!! Again I tried to not say much. Mac shared that he told his dad he wasn't ready to see his step-mother nor grandmother (poor kid has shrews on both sides) and apparently his SD said he hoped that would change; Mac told him to not count on it. Mac told me he also told his dad he was really negative and that influenced him as a young adolescent and he learned from me to be positive. He told SD if he could be positive around him then he wouldn't see him. Mac said he wouldn't spend time around someone who is critical of everyone and everything in the world. SD said he would "try" to be less critical.

I hate SD. I want him to stay away. I want him to go away. I don't want him near Mac. I want to know what he's up to. I don't trust him and I figure he has some covert reason. I hate him and don't trust him any further than I can throw his ugly, fat ass. I hate hate hate him. If hate were people I'd be China. I don't like what he did to Mac over the last year and how he thinks he can swoop in and be "buds" again. I don't think Mac will let him get too close but I just hate that he suddenly, after a year off and a year filled with ill will and bad feelings and so much hurt to my son, SD thinks he can just pop in. I want to tell him if he hurts Mac again or so much as makes him change his outlook on something as simple as what he wants on his burgers, he'll never see Mac again. I have no power to make that happen but I wish I could DO SOMETHING!

Thanks for letting me vent, spew, toss up some verbal vomit.



Curley said...

Feel better? No, I didn't think so. Maybe you should tell SD all that. It probably won't change anything but it might make you feel better. On the other hand SD would probably tell Mac everything you said. In the long run, you can't change who Mac's father is and that it's Mac's choice whether to stay in contact with him. At least Mac was able to tell him how he felt without it turning into a yelling contest. He's turning into an adult.

Jimmie Earl said...

The guy is an asshat! He still lives in another time warp. He is so like his mom who never left the 50's time warp she was raised in. I feel your pain, and also your fear that SD will sway Mac. But I don't think that is possible now. The year Mac spent with you in the wild west and the year he has shared the "attic" here at home has had a great influence on him. I can see it in Mac every day. He's a wonderful young man who has his head on straight (except for a few lapses) and can liberally think for himself. Just keep on being Mom and things will work out for the best.
JE aka Dad