Friday, July 30, 2010

Which book character did I "date"?

Once upon a time I lived in a college town that was known as the biggest party school in my state. Now, I was in my early 30s and I wasn't associated with the university, but it was a big part of the town.

I had some friends of all ages who were, however, affiliated with the university, either as students or as employees. Just through a strange turn of events I ended up a house party. I originally went to a friend of a friend's 21st birthday which then sort of moved to a few parties and then onto a house party.

I want to say right up front that I did not buy or give booze to minors. Not then, not now, not since. There was plenty of booze already flowing so there was absolutely no need for me to provide alcohol to anyone. That being said...

I was probably the oldest person at the house party; just what every party needs is a 30+ year old gate crasher. But I had never attended such a party before, the opportunity was there, I was a little lit up so I went along with the rest of the people.

At said house party, music was pounding, the beer in the keg in the bathroom (in the tub) was flowing, and the pot scent was strong. I stood against a wall, holding my cup of warm beer, listening to music. And said "hello" to people who walked by me. Until one "guy" decided he wanted to get to know me.

He comes up and opens with the "so, what's your major" line and then offers me more beer. I'm looking at him, thinking this has to be a joke. Really. I thought my friends put him up to it because... well, I was a little older than 30 and this guy who looked like HARRY POTTER was hitting on me. I am NOT kidding you. He looked just like Harry Potter. And, come to find out, he was 19 years old, even though he just looked like he turned 12. Now, I wasn't so drunk that I didn't know this was a bad bad bad idea. It was also a stupid stupid stupid idea... But Harry Potter just kept on talking to me. And flirting. Well, I think it was flirting because not only did he look like Harry Potter he was about as apt as Harry Potter is with girls.

After about 45 minutes someone screamed "COPS!!!!" And people were fleeing like rats on a sinking ship. What I know now that I didn't know then is that I should not have been there, that if I was arrested and was the oldest person at the party I wouldn've been charged with all sorts of minor/ alcohol related issues, and that me being there was a bad idea-- did I mention that?

What did happen is that I found myself being pushed into the bathroom with the keg. I found myself scrambling to get on top of the keg, shoving open a bathroom window. I found myself going out the window, head first, with Harry Potter shoving my ass to get me through. I found myself laying flat on my back, on the ground, under the window, in a clump of bushes, with Harry Potter landing sort of on me, sort of next to me. Then I found myself running down an alley, holding hands with Harry Potter, running from the cops. At age thirtysomething.

I finally made my way back to my friend's house and they were there, plus some of their friends; we all scattered when the raid warning came in but we all made it back and were all laughing and joking around and collapsing all over the house. And Harry Potter was still there. There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at me and him and I just shrugged and we all watched a movie.

I would like to say it all ended there. But no. Harry Potter was still there, right?

So after the movie, I was most certainly sober, after the adrenaline rush and not having consumed much booze to begin with and not having had a drink after the running from the cops portion of the evening. So I was going to drive home. As I was leaving, with my friends all sprawled all over the couches and floor, someone called out that I need to make sure I took Harry Potter back to Hogwarts. Great.

So Harry Potter came with me and as we headed back to the university area, he gave me directions, turning here and there. He was rubbing my leg and giving me "the look." Oh yeah, Harry Potter with a "look" is so NOT sexy. He had me pull in a parking spot and I wasn't near anything that was like a house. He then leans in and kisses me. I kiss him back because I felt sorry for him, which is terrible, I know. So after the kiss, which was lame, Harry Potter is so thrilled that he invites me to his room. I look at him, with what I hope was a "you have to be kidding me" look. He looked hopeful and optimistic and kissed me again- still lame. Then he stammers and stutters and says he doesn't live in an apartment like he previously alluded, but a dorm, but he didn't think his roommate was in and he could sneak me out in the morning. Oh, hell no! Not that I even considered such a thing, but if my subconscious which was flattered from the attention of the younger man thought about it, my subconscious slammed shut at hearing the "sneak you out/roommate/dorm room" stuff.

So I told him he was sweet, I was flattered, and to go to his room, ALONE, and go to bed. He would feel better about this in the morning. He protested a little bit but finally went on his way.

And that's the totally true story of how I went on a date with Harry Potter and almost got arrested.



Anna @ Frosted Petunias said...

Okay I'm still smiling and giggling from this and the whole time I'm thinking ' she going to?...omg she did....nah she didn't!' And I'm picturing the scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's when the police raids the party and George Pappard and the Spanish man crawl out the bathroom window (don't know why I thought of this). And since I just watched Harry Potter (1&6) yesterday I have fresh images in my brain and I'll never quite see him the same way again I think, lol! Love this!

Lisa said...

You know I think I was at that party ;) I definitely did more out of college than in. I went to see a movie with a guy (at least 10 yrs younger) and I had told him I was too old. It was about a con where a girl was an adult but pretend to be a child. After we were talking and I mentioned that I was easily confused for 10 yrs younger AND yep he was way off! LOL needless to say he tried but lost interest QUICK!
Hugs, Lisa