Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Thoughts on weddings

For a long time I thought if I ever got married again, I knew exactly what I wanted. There's a historic B&B here in town and I wanted to get married on the veranda at this home at 530pm on the second Saturday in December. I wanted to have 25 guests and do it outside, with all guests standing in a circle around the bride and groom, all holding candles. I wanted snow. I would wear a red (or pink) floor length velvet cape with white fur trim over my wedding dress. Afterward, we would have a big old party/ reception.

As I shoot these weddings this summer, and as I realize I'm pushing 40 years old, AND that if I ever got married again, it would be for the second time, I've really thought that skipping a wedding entirely would be beneficial. I think eloping would be good. Save money, less drama, can do it anytime, and still have a big old party/ reception. And I could still wear excellent shoes (for some brides it's all about the dress for me, about the shoes, baby!) and still celebrate with family and friends.

I've taken pictures as weddings, about 12-15, over the course of my super- amateur career as a wedding photographer. Most brides are nice and then a few weren't. Some family dynamics were smooth and others had fights. Some, good stuff, some bad stuff. But the two weddings I shot so far this summer couldn't be anymore different than night and day. Seriously.

I loved the colors of both brides. One had teal and brown and the other had lime green and sherbet orange. The cakes were both pretty, but favorite bride's tasted spectacular. They both gave cookies as table favors. Through my favorite bride and her mom made hers and they tasted AWESOME as opposed to Bridezilla's which were D-R-Y. My favorite bride was so easy and laid back which made working with her so easy. Her family and the groom were also the same, so again, it was fun.

One thing Bridezilla did that I thought was so cool was a candy buffet. In addition to dinner, of course, they had pretty glass jars, about 10, full of different sorts of candy and pretty decorated paper sacks. Each jar of candy had a scoop and guests could fill a sack with their choice of treats. What a cute idea, and rather whimsical!

Like I said, while weddings are nice and there are so many great things to do, and while I think a wedding would be fun to have, I just think, for practicality sake, if I were to ever marry again, I would much prefer eloping. There are things I would love to do in a wedding, but it seems like something for the young and wealthy. And if I did have a wedding, my groom and I would have to foot the bill, sooo! And using the money saved from a non-wedding would be better spent in a 401k or to buy a house or take a kick ass trip.

Just some of my random wedding thoughts.



Evil Pixie said...

I've never been married (and never want to be). The idea of a wedding makes me shudder. Having been to enough (as a guest, the photographer, and/or a bridesmaid), I've seen the chaos and expense involved in even the most fun wedding. I'd much rather live in sin... ;)

Curley said...

I totally agree. Run away and do it. Weddings today have so gotten out of hand. I would make the cape for you. (If you let me recover from the wedding I'm working on now.)

Bragger said...

I am a big fan of eloping. Hubby and I barely got to the courthouse 5 minutes before it closed..... and the vows still took! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Maggie!

I kept my wedding somewhere between simple and elaborate! if you know what I mean....Italian weddings can be over-the-top and I opted for less than overdone!

I hope I never do it again, as I'm happily married now...but I know that if I were in this position, I'd do without the fanfair for sure. ELOPEment sounds terrific!

thanks for sharing your POV!

and yes, you can come over anytime and I'll teach you the tricks of decoupage! hehe....
ciao bella!
creative carmelina

Wiley said...

If you're going to elope, you have to at least go somewhere really cool. The next stat just doesn't cut it. I mean, you want to be able to say "yeah, we got married in Vladivostok..."

Sinderella Studio Designs said...

On my second marriage - got married in a small downtown park - me, the groom, 2 of our best friends and the official authority - my $10 sun dress was perfect along with my now husband's running shoes and shorts. Could not have been more perfect. My daughter in law did the pinkest of pink weddings and the candy bags to works - it was beautiful and she budgeted (still to much) anyways back to my point -I am my husbands 4th wife - we have been together 10 yrs! Still IN LOVE, "IN" being key to marital success!
Happy ps