Sunday, July 18, 2010

I was waiting for a guest to spontaneously combust

I think the clothes I wore to photograph the wedding yesterday need to be burned. I don't think the sweat will ever come out. Ever.

It was unbelievable. The heat was oppressive and it didn't rain. It was nearly a hundred degrees yesterday and the humidity was in the high 80 percentile. It was hot. It's what hell had to be like. And when you have bride who was a mildly bridezilla, it just made for a loooooooong day.

It was a pretty fancy and expensive wedding. Lots of money was spent, so why in the world couldn't' they pop for an open sided tent for the guests to sit under? I'm not kidding; this wedding started at 330pm in the afternoon. It was direct sunlight, at 330, when the sun was full out and high overhead. I think the only thing it was good for was pictures. Except I had so much sweat pour down my face and into my eyes I couldn't see through my viewfinder. And my hands were so slippery I could barely keep hold of the camera body; thank for goddess for the neck strap. Well, at least yesterday I was thankful for it. Today it will probably have to be thrown out as well, because it was saturated in sweat. Gross, I know. It was so hot my brain about melted-- I totally forgot to add my zoom lens during the wedding ceremony so I have no close up shots of the groom during the ceremony. I am so pissed at myself for forgetting. The photographer I work for was the worried about it since I was also trapped behind the sea of bridesmaids and probably couldn't have gotten anything anyway, but still, I was pissed I forgot.

I just couldn't believe that she expected about 240 guests to sit under the blazing hot sun. I thought that was pretty selfish. Which is probably why she about about 75 people show for the ceremony and about 240 guests for the inside reception.

The "best" bridzilla moment came when, after the wedding and during the air conditioned reception, the DJ started showing a DVD of the bride/ groom. Bridezilla's mom wasn't int he room; I think she was having a smoke or in the bathroom. The bride starts to cry because he mom wasn't there and when her brand new groom starts to comfort her, she yells at him and tells him to "get away from me." And the walked away. So my Photographer Boss and I have happened to have the worst timing in the world and were standing about.... oh.... say.... two feet from her when it happened so we spring into action because we still have assigned pictures to take and nothing ruins a picture more than a pissed off bride. So Photographer Boss asks the Bride if she wants her to find her mom and the bride is blubbering and says yes. Photographer Boss makes a run for it. I ask the bride if she wants me to have the DVD stopped. She says, "can you really do that?" I tell her yes and off I go to the DJ table.

Now, she HIRED the DJ, she was PAYING the DJ. Uhhhh, well, yeah, she could've made him stop the DVD if she wanted, or maybe asked her brand new husband, who should've been looking for the minister to have an annulment at that point, but instead was leaning on a wall about 4 feet away, sulking.

So I told the DJ he needed to stop the DVD now because the bride's mom was MIA. He pressed the stop button and cued up music, and said, "please hold on while we fix a technical difficulty". The DJ would wait until I gave him the 'high sign' to continue with the DVD. So when we got mom back in the room, the bride and her mom had ugly words, mom flopped down in a chair and I gave the 'high sign' and the DJ cued it up and started it over again.

I didn't even get any wedding cake. That sucked. That's my favorite part.

I sort of felt bad, too. Yesterday on my blog, I wrote that I hoped the bride's face melted off, remember? Well, I didn't really mean it; however.... She had her hair died recently. And... well, um... the color was dripping down her face on a few occasions. She was sweating red out of her hair. Ooooooooooops!

I like the money I make from doing this, for sure. And my Photographer Boss is super awesome to work for. I told her she needs to be booked to shoot more INDOOR weddings!

I think my nose is sunburned...


An Aside: At the wedding I shot 3 weeks ago, I used a new camera. I found what I like to call the "paparazzi" setting. It lets me reel of about a million pictures a minute. Without going into to all the complicated detailed explanation using camera jargon (sorry Evil P!) I can click the button to take pictures over and over again, quickly, and get a whole bunch of shots right in a row. The Photo Boss I work for told me yesterday, I was officially banned from using that setting unless I wanted to go through all 2000 pictures myself... ooops! My bad!


Evil Pixie said...

Hahahaha! That's hilarious. I love that setting too, but I only use it for action shots. It sucks about the heat and the horrid wedding. I have a wedding next week to shoot, and I have a feeling it is goingt to be roasting (I'm sick of shooting these outdoor weddings). I think I'll dance a jig when I book an indoor wedding.

Curley said...

What goes through a persons mind when they say, "I want an outdoor wedding"? Hello? Mother Nature can be a real bitch. Red hair dye? Are you sure the groom didn't bash her over the head for having the wedding outdoors?

Maggie said...

Evil P- my kingdom for an indoor wedding!

Curley- LOL... nope red hair dye... ewwww!