Tuesday, July 13, 2010

ITSam has a son. Have I mentioned that?

Yeah, he has a kid who just recently turned 11 years old. He'll be in the 6th grade in at a neighboring community's school in the fall.

The son lives with his mom (since his parents are divorced, and have been for a year. We're good to go there, Houston) but he sees his dad all the time, which I think is great. From what I've seen so far, I think ITSam is a pretty good dad. When the boy is with his mom, Sam calls him at least twice a day, once to chat and once to tell him good night. They see each other more than the custody papers say. I know Sam misses his son all the time. He talks about him often and he worries about him.

When Sam and his son are together, he wants to make sure they have quality time. They spend lots of time playing drums and piano and guitar together. They listen to lots of music. They play board games and cards and hang out with various cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. They have a good time just being together.

I've met the boy several times and he seems to be a sweet kid. We don't seem to "click" though, or have much to talk about. Could be nerves. What I hate is his age. I am so NOT good with kids from about ages 5-13. I like the 8th graders on up. I'm a teenager person, not a kid person. Ack! I'm sure he and I will get along better as time goes on, right? I don't remember Mac being a "typical 11 year old" boy. Most people even tell me that when Mac was 11 yrs old he wasn't a typical 11 yrs old, but only had his moments. Sam's son is a typical 11 year old. This is hard for me.

Or am I just crazy worrying about it all? A mountain of a mole hill? I think he and I are both pretty nervous, worrying about each other, wanting to like each other? right? It's like we're... auditioning. It's the best analogy that comes to mind. I just want to chat with him but like most 11 year olds, the conversation ball doesn't exactly roll along very easily. I'm trying to not slip into teacher mode with him, nor, absolutely NOT, into mom mode. I'm trying to be myself, but I find that when he's around, I just get quiet and smile a lot, probably maniacally.

Why is this so hard for me? For 15 years I've worked in careers with kids and very rarely do I ever have this problem. Ever. And when I do, I usually don't have to have much interaction with said child. This is totally different, I'd say. Sam and Mac hit it off perfectly. They like each other and have a wealth of stuff to talk about, to the point where I can't get a word in edgewise. They just ramble and have those "guy" moments. They can talk video games, movies, music, politics, etc and here I sit, having no idea what to talk about with an 11 year old boy. What, Family Guy episodes?

So I was sort of surprised when Sam asked me if I could please take his boy to his piano lesson. I certainly didn't mind and it was a fluke where he couldn't get off work in time to do it and all other family members were busy. It was me or cancel/ re- schedule so I said yes. It wasn't all that bad. On the way to the lesson we talked about the crappy shape my car was in and about the fact that I want to buy a horse (long story, but it worked.) On the way home from the lesson we talked about.... the lesson. I also got him a book of easy Beatles music he really, really wanted.

Hell, yeah I got him the book of music. Bribery could go along way...



Curley said...

Absolutely nothing wrong with buying him something he really wanted. Plus it gives you something to talk about next time you're together. It will get easier as time passes.

Wiley said...

Oh man, auditions with a partner's kids are the worst. Knowing you can't fail adds way more pressure and I think all you can do is smile and nod. I know I am like a smiling lunatic with DM's kids. I have learnt a whole hell of a lot about dinosaurs, though...