Friday, January 9, 2009

Is the plural of penis peni?

Farrago (I bet he's wondering how he's drug into a post with THIS title) mentioned the Craigslist website and something called meet-ups over on his blog. I read about his success and great experiences & I thought this sounded like fun. The way he described it was like single folks meeting at places for outings- dinners, shows, museums, etc. I moved back here and thought I would see if North Civilization had such an activity on Craigslist.

I Googled it and click all the right city info and events and such. And guess what I get when I hunt for meet-ups in my area? Pictures of penises- lots and lots of penises.

After being slightly embarrassed and mortified, I became sort of intrigued. It was like a bad car accident and I couldn't look away. I mean, after seeing about 10 pictures of penises, I was sort of desensitized by the actual "members." (side note- I think penises just prove that if there was a God she had a sense of humor through the creation of the penis. They are JUST not attractive. Useful, yes. Most of the time pleasurable if used correctly, yes. Pretty- NO!!) But I became more interested the actual wording of their "ads" for meet-ups.

First, I think these guys are shameless and wacko. They will be the ones who leave your dead body in a seedy motel room he's rented by the hour. He'll use the skin of your body for his costume. Lotion in the bucket, anyone? The scary factor aside, though...

This was hilarious! Penises everywhere! Of course they were all erect and these guys have no idea what women are gonna think of as hot... First, if you're going to take a picture of your penis and post it on the Internet, the least you could do before shooting the picture is to kick your dirty underpants off the floor and out of the way. Or don't take a picture of your wang with a stack of kids' board games piled in the background. Or a cluster of WEDDING PICTURES on the shelf behind you!!!!!! And have these guys heard of trimming the forest? PLEASE! A hirsute is nasty!

And they say things like "I don't even want to know your name, I just want to f*** you..." or "married man looking for secret fun" or "Handsome 66 year old man looking for an 18-21 year old female to spoil, spank and fondle- light S&M to be expected" and he had a picture of his dong and his naked, red, saggy, recently spanked, wrinkly, old man ass. NO! And NSA means "no strings attached" if you answer an ad... OMG- wrong, wrong, wrong.

So, of course I have to tell Hecate about this and she sends me a link to a blog site called Desperately Seeking... Something? The creators of this site have taken the nasty penis shots from Craigslist, compiled them onto a blog, and wrote their own captions... OMG! This is some seriously funny stuff! It's adult content- you have been warned.

Moral of this story- Craigslist is scary, that many penises on a web page are scary, and never trust Farrago. By the way, I still don't know the answer to my original question that titled this whole post!

There are times when being blind wouldn't be so bad,


Farrago said...

WHOA!! Slow down, there, girlie! First of all, the ad I placed on Craigslist was in the section called "Strictly Platonic," and the meetups site I mentioned was No penii there!

Try again! And good luck!

Maggie said...

Farrago- Well, if you look at meet ups on Craigslist you get a bunch of PENIS PICTURES! Consider yourself warned. There wasn't a platonic section there--- Yikes, it's a scary place out in Al Gore's Internet...

Hecate said...

Is Peni pronounces "pee-nigh" or "pen-eee"? LOL

Please tell me the first one, cause if it's the second I'll never be able to eat that type of pasta again!

And I'm with you, I have no idea why a man thinks showing his wankie off will get him a woman!

Something else interesting about that site I showed you. Quite a few guys will photoshop their umm, areas but not the rest of the picture so you can tell that the umm, area isn't really theirs. It's kind of funny, but in a sad, sad way.

Maggie said...

Hecate- the first pronunciation, I would guess!!!!

And they photoshop themselves??? O.M.G. I can't decide if I should laugh MORE than I already am, or just cry... LOL... how truly sad and even more icky!

Hecate said...

Oh yeah, they love photoshop. I saw one once that was obvious. Why you may wonder, well the guys hand was white, while the area was black as coal!! LOL

Janny Mallard said...

that would be DICKS

Maggie said...

Hecate- Oh.My. Goddess- a black penis on a white man...

Janny- LOL... er, uh, yes, I think you might be right!