Monday, April 30, 2012

Diet day 1

Today is my first diet day and other than being hungry between lunch shake and healthy supper, it went really well. I didn't have time to fix a snack, though, so probably hungry makes sense.

I had a shake for breakfast, cheesecake flavored, and 24 ounce cup of java. The shake actually tasted good and left no gross after taste.

I had a bunch of raw veggies with 1 tablespoon of Ranch dip, which was awesome. And a big bowl of strawberries and my other shake (I had cheesecake again because I didn't want to take time to make another flavor this morning!)

Dinner was stir fry with lean strip steak and veggies and rice. I was able to have a banana and some Weight Watchers chips for a snack.

I feel really good. Every day isn't going to be a diet post but I thought since it was the first day (since I was supposed to start a week ago and just didn't my life together!) that I'd give myself a boost. I consumed less than 1000 calories of good tasting stuff.

Now if the pounds come off, life will be good. I lost 1 pound already. So a pound a day... for a 100 days! (Yeah, I wish but this is a start!)


Sunday, April 29, 2012

Crocheting up a storm

(above is just a partial pile!)

So a few weeks ago I did an art club project with my students that turned into a huge THING. It was supposed to just be a yarn project and a community service project all at once and I was supposed to be behind the scenes and then.... well..... wow.

Daddy-O and Curly make prayer shawls for the prayer shawl ministry at Daddy-O's church (along with other members of the congregation). I have a whole bunch of students at school who can crochet. So I brought prayer shawl samples to school and some patterns, explained the prayer shawl concept, and recruited about 15 kids. I gave them all yarn and 2 weeks to finish. I told them that anyone who made a shawl, a baby blanket, or lap robe would be invited to come to church with me to donate them.

To keep the kids motivated, we meet in the campus chapel to crochet together. They came to the art club space after school and crochet. They crocheted in the library, and of course they could work on their projects in their dorm rooms. While the making and creating is going on with the students and me, there were behind the scenes happening.

Daddy-O told the minister at church and he got together with the woman who coordinates all the prayer shawl donations (who I called to see if she would care if my students made some and then donated them if we had any) and decided to do a special service dedicated to our students who made the yarn projects.

Then on campus, one of the women in the marketing department decided to make the project a the feature project to raise money for our organization. Then the development office sent literature to the church and it became Alcatraz Sunday

Holy Moly!

End count: We had 4 adult volunteers and 14 kids make a total of 24 prayer shawls, baby blankets, and lap robes to donate to the church.

Some of the kids wanted to help but had never crocheted before and some has just started learning. This became... an issue. All of the kids had their hearts in the right places but some of them didn't have the crocheting talent to back it up. We had some yarn projects that were... challenging. So God Bless Daddy-O and Curly who "fixed" a bunch: gave them edges, ripped out knots, made shawls longer or wider, and in a couple situations just... um. sorta, maybe took out some stitches and then redid them a bit smoother. This project had 2 angels who made ALL the blankets, shawls, and lap robes able to be used. AND, they each made their own shawls to contribute because I was afraid we wouldn't have enough and the project became HUGE so I didn't want to let anyone down. The ones they made were so pretty, too! (and I have to admit: I can't knit nor crochet so Daddy-O made one for me to contribute!) Thank you Dad and Curly because there is no way I coordinated this alone! (edited post- this paragraph added later)

Then today I, along with 3 other staff, took 10 of the kids to church where the entire congregation recognized the students. Then the minster blessed the shawls. One of my students (she knew in advance) was asked to say a prayer and did. Two others presented 2 shawls the kids made to a couple in need. An administrator from our facility spoke as part of the service and then the offering for that day was donated to our facility! Wow. Just wow.

I took all the kids out to lunch to celebrate their success. What started as a community service project, a spiritual journey for some, a way to give of themselves and to give back to those in need, to use their many blessings, turned into this wonderful reward for them, and so many others. What a wonderful blessing that day!

Those kids just rock my world more than they will ever know, and they don't know how much they gave to others.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Change isn't always good

I don't want a new blogger interface. I can't cope with the blogger change! What's wrong with the old one? I hate Google! I need to go and hide for awhile.

I'll be back.


Friday, April 27, 2012

Lilith Love

I love Lilith. Lilith and I met in 2001. Funny story about that... and thankfully first impressions aren't everything.

I taught her Composition I class in college and I introduced myself to the class and about 3 minutes in on the first day I discovered I needed copies. I was really nervous and embarrassed and in high heels. So to hurry, I kicked the shoes off and RAN from the room to make copies. I just ran out telling them I needed copies and left, in my stocking feet, high heels on the classroom floor. I think the whole class wasn't sure what to think of their weird teacher. Later, Lilith said she thought I was "on crack"- I think I was a little more high strung (I like to think of myself as energetic) than the teachers they were used to having.

After that sterling intro, during the course of the class, she wrote a paper and it earned an F. I "gave" her the first and only F she ever received on an assignment. Yeah.....

And then there was that one time we were both into the same guy. Yeah....

After being her teacher, I was able to be her friend, in spite of being on "crack" (haha- not really!), giving her an F, a guy thing, and being shoe-less.

She is someone that I've had ups and downs with and she and I always come out on the other side. Regardless of our differences, we still are friends. Even if she and I don't talk for months, we pick up like I saw her yesterday.

No matter what, she listens to me. She is willing to give me sympathy and tears but she also knows me well enough when to say "enough is enough, suck it up." And even though at the time I might not like that, I still love her for knowing when I need love and tough love. I swear she should be a therapist. She's a great listener and she gives very well thought out advice and opinions.

And she's smart and knows stuff and teaches me stuff. She's a good mom.

If I died she's my Fort Knox; she knows all the secrets and can dole them out.

She's also not afraid to voice her opinion so I love having her on my side. She's no nonsense but never afraid to be silly.

I covet her purse collection.

She's willing to tray anything at least once so we can hang out, talk for hours, laugh, drink coffee, shop, paint pottery or even take dance lessons if we wanted because she's be the one to give it a try.

I'm blessed to know her and to call her friend!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Look at this Photographer...

I've known Photographer since 1996. She was the president of the not for profit board of directors where I worked as a case manager. Our friendship evolved from there.

I admire her so much. She has had some horrendous health issues but she still keeps on going and doesn't let it beat her up. She's an excellent English teacher and I love it that we compare lesson plans, talk classroom management styles and ideas and we love to analyze literature, too. We can also share classroom horror stories and we both "get it"; nothing like a little bit of teacher commiseration!

She's an extremely talented photographer and I admire her work so much. She still make pictures rather than photo shopping her photos into art. I love to work for her and I've learned so much from her as well. I think my love of picture taking comes from her encouragement and lessons.

She's really creative and has a positive energy. She's quiet but involved in some really cool projects: she took a photography class with world renowned photographers and paid for it with a grant she got from the Lily Foundation, she's authored her own cookbook, she's lost about 100 pounds in the last year, she's an amazing cook, a dog lover, so funny, brilliant, and an excellent friend. She's the person I aspire to be. She's go giving. Really. And she genuinely cares about her friends.

I love her and am blessed to have her in my life.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Today would be her birthday

Today would be my mom's birthday if she were still alive. She'd be 64.

My mom was a wonderful lady, and a good mom. She had a rough last few years before she died, but until that point, she lived a cheerful and fun life.

She loved to read and do needlepoint. She was a social worker and was so good at that- a great blend of empathy, reality and sympathy. She loved her family. She was an amazing cook. She always wore bright colors. She loved her convertible and dogs. She had a wonderful voice and could sing beautifully, even thought she didn't like to sing in public. She could play the piano. She was artistic and could paint, draw, sketch. She did all my weekly assignments in 7th grade art class (except for 1 that my dad did) and I wouldn't have passed without her.

I love my mom. I miss her.

happy birthday mom!

Your daughter Maggie

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

XRay Girl Rocks

XRayGirl is awesome. She and I also talk about anything and everything. We have lots in common and can relate to stuff, especially our pain in the butt 19 year old sons.

But we make each other laugh no matter what. I like that weeks can go by and we can start talking just like spoke a few hours before. She has a new job and works second shift in a town about an hour away and she also works about 5 hours of overtime, we rarely get to talk but when we do, it's just like we talk every day.

We can spend time together and tease each other. It's okay for us to laugh and cry together. I like the idea that you can't pick your family but can pick your friends and I'm so blessed that she and I picked each other!

Lovin' XRayGirl,

Monday, April 23, 2012

Happy Birthday, Curly!

One of my best friends ever is Curly and today is her birthday! Happy birthday Curly!!!!

She is a wonderful woman and I just love her to pieces. She's so kind and sweet. She's the most thoughtful person I know. And creative. And funny. She's a good listener and she never judges me, no matter what I tell her.

I love to laugh with her and hang with her.

So, I wanted to to tell the world. And thank her for all she does for me, and for being my friend!

I love ya Curly!

Happy birthday!!!

Your BFF,

Sunday, April 22, 2012


There are awesome women in my life and this week I'm going to write blog posts to honor them! What else can I say here? Just read to find out!


Saturday, April 21, 2012

The hunt for the perfect shoes

I think it's safe to say it's an obsession when I have people state wide hunting for a specific pair of shoes, and then taking that request to the Internet to have people world wide hunt for said shoes!

There are 2 girls at school who have these adorable shoes:

I AM IN LOVE WITH THESE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried on student's shoes on and figured out what size I need- a 9. I also found out the name of the stores where the girls bought them: one got hers at Marshall's and the other at Pamida. I obviously photographed the shoes. We wrote down the name brand: Rock & Candy. Then the search began.

I don't have either of these stores near me but the Future Husband Guy(maybe) has 3 Marshall's in a 20 minute drive of his house. Armed with the picture he went to the first one. They were out of the shoes altogether. He went to the second one and he found the blue version. The sales clerk said they were out of the pink and the clerk called the 3rd store and they too were out. (The clerks thought it was adorable that he had a picture of the shoes and was willing to go store to store to find them for me! And a woman in line behind him wanted to see the picture and pronounced the shoes "adorable!" And said he was "adorable" for hunting for me!) The clerk said they're supposed to get another shipment next month. Boo!

While he's running around the City hunting, I'm Internet searching, to no avail. I can't even find a picture of the shoes in this colour scheme! I did find more stores that carry the name brand and style, though. I told him that so tomorrow he's going to PacSun, Journey and Macy's to see what he can find. I love love love him for doing this!

And I really hope he finds the shoes.

And if anyone out there happens across a pair... well, I'd be eternally grateful!


Friday, April 20, 2012

Stuck and tired

I am so bored. And I think being bored makes me tired. I usually sleep really well most nights, and I seem to get a "good" or healthy amount of sleep, or so it seems to me but the moment I have to sit for a long period of time or if I'm bored, then the "sleepies" aren't very far behind. I hate that.

I had to work the weekend receptionist job this weekend it just seemed to drag on forever and ever. I have a few things I wanted to get accomplished but I certainly couldn't being tied to a desk. I couldn't get some of my computer files, either, which i also found frustrating.

This seems to be a personal trend, and I've just figured it out. (Gee, never enough time for self actualization or realization!) If I am not able to do what I want and am forced to do something else, like work in this case, boredom sets in. I do have several good books to read but all I can think about is the stuff I CAN'T do and I'm fidgety, can't concentrate.

It's rare that I would have any excess energy or anything like that because I'm essentially a slug, but I had other things that I THOUGHT I could be doing but technology pooped on me so I'm just stuck with books. And yes, I like to read but instead my thought process is "great, I have 7 hours where I could be doing ----- but I can't because of this stupid computer and stupid job. If i had a real job then I wouldn't even be here at all. Great. I'm a loser. This sucks." I kid you not- that's how my brain works. Yes, I think I spend too much time with teenagers. So after all the cheerful self talk, I just get tired. Of listening to the sound of my own inner voice that I would like to strangle or smother with a pillow. Which then leads me to think about sleep- you know, pillow- and then I get tired. So then I'm a wonderful combination of bored, tired, and sarcastic.

I think of all the times I get frustrated when people tell me their bored but in this situation, I totally am and think it's okay for me to whine about it. Because I said so. Because I'm bored and I feel like whining.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

The dark side of the book shelf

Right now I have a huge group of students- mostly girls- who like to read "dark books". By that I mean, topics that are real, heavy stuff. It can be as fiction or as non but they like to walk on the dark side. I can get the boys to try lots of different things but the girls want the sad and tragic, or what I think of as depressing.

The most popular topics are anything to do with the following: drugs abuse, rape, domestic/physical/ sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, teen violence (school shootings, etc), self harm or self mutilation, tragic relationships, suicide, and gangs. It's really rough.

I understand this, to a certain degree. This population of students at my school come from straight from the pages of books like these. It's not a joke. But it's so serious and heavy and depressing and sad. I know they want to read what the relate to, but... wow. I don't expect these kids to want to read all rainbows and sunshine and Christian fiction and happiness, but all this hard hitting reality stuff seems like too much. On the flip side, I want kids to read and if this is what they read, then so be it.

It's a real struggle for me as I don't read stuff like this- usually. One of those topics might be peripheral to a novel I take up, but usually not the main thrust. And I sure can't read that sort of stuff in large quantities. Does anyone have any suggestions? i ask my students what they like to read and I search the net, Goodreads, and library magazines as well as publisher magazines. I find lots of the same titles repeated. I need some new stuff.

I do have quite a good collection going of the dark and miserable (i swear it's what I call the genre, in my head, not to the kids). I have all the books by Ellen Hopkins. I have Go Ask Alice and Jay's Journal. I have the Bluford High Series. I have all of Laurie Halse Anderson novels. I have Smashed, Trigger, Cut, Prey, A Million Little Pieces, We all Fall Down, Tweak, Glimpse, Blackout Girl, and 13 Reasons Why. I have Boost, Hate List and all the books by Allison Van Diepen, as well as those by Simone Elkeles. Any other suggestions of stuff in this genre/ category would be helpful.

I don't know. It's just so sad...There's so much good stuff out there for teens. There's a lot of wonderful 'adult books recommended for teen readers' too like Defending Jacob, The Night Circus, Water for Elephants, The Help, anything by John Grisham (who actually writes a series for young adults!), some of Stephen King's stuff, Lev Grossman's Magician series, most of Jodi Picoult's stuff... I could go on and on about adult books for teens. There's also good stuff for YA written for Young Adults. Okay, there's a lot of garbage but there's good stuff. I think anything by Neil Shusterman is awesome, for example. Harry Potter. Of course Twilight (okay kids like it...). The Bone books by Jeff Smith, Veronica Roth's stuff, John Green write stuff for kids as well as Cassendra Clare, Kelley Armstrong, Lurlene McDaniel, Caroline B. Cooney, Michael Scott, Beth Goobie, Alyson Noel, Sarah Dessen, Meg Cabot, Melissa de la Cruz, and Scott Westerfeld (and many more, but this was just off the top of my head!). Jennifer Weiner even has a teen book coming out this summer.

But right now, for my students, the darker and the more depressing, the better they seem to like it. Recommendations anyone?


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Diet again

Okay, I'm going to start a new diet on Monday. It's 2 shakes a day and 1 meal. It's not Slimfast, but a really cool program.

Of course it encourages exercise but it's not a huge part of it. My Photographer friend went on the shakes the week after Thanksgiving and since then, as of the middle of March, she went from a size 18 to a size 12. I am not kidding. She dropped 6 sizes in 3.5 months!!!

She has 2 shakes a day and then eats a regular meal. She also snacks, but on healthy stuff. She hardly ever exercises. She did it all with just the shakes and regular food. She also has Lupus and is diabetic and her neurologist and her internist are both on board and totally recommend the shakes because of how healthy they are- full of tons of vitamins and nutrients. Both of the docs did do some research and think it's a great program.

And it's not just for fat people, though there are obviously benefits for overweight people. There's also a variation for people who are already fit and just want to maintain their weight. There's a plan for people who are super fitness people. There's a plan for people who are just a little over weight and then a plan for those who are really obese.

She makes shakes with 2 scoops of the powder and then she has about 100 recipes to vary it so it doesn't really get boring. She can make an Orange Julius out of it. She uses almond milk as her base but soy or skim can be used. She uses sugar free instant pudding for flavoring and blends it altogether with ice. She adds fruit sometimes. Sometimes she uses sugar free jello with fruit. There's just a ton of combos. (And I keep saying she but when a person buys the shakes, recipes are provided). Once she made almond milk, shake mix, sugar free chocolate pudding, a spoonful of peanutbutter and ice- Reese Cup Shake!

There are lots of healthy snacks, too. Vegetables and fruits are unlimited. Any of the Weight Watcher snacks are recommended. Low carb is good. Basically not eating junk food and fast food is recommended.

Meals are just supposed to be smaller portions of regular food. It's recommended to eat less bread and pasta but it's not FORBIDDEN.

I'm going to try it for a month. All of these people I know are losing tons of weight doing this. Photographer's sister lost 30 pounds in 3 weeks. Another teacher lost about 75 lbs. There are several people who are losing. It just seems to be working for lots of folks, so I'm going to give it a try. If I lose some weight, then awesome. If I don't, well, it was worth a shot.

I'll keep you posted!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Big Jerk

We have a new English teacher. Well, sorta new. We had a new teacher at the beginning of the year because the former one went on adoptive leave. she's off this entire 2011-2012 school year. The first temp. replacement was here for about 4 months and then she left. She was offered a full time permanent position and who could pass that up? not her. It was also a huge pay increase for her, and teaching special education, which is her passion. We miss her. She was really good with out style of kids.

The principal and I thought that maybe I could get a temp teaching license and take the last 2 classes I need to get certified in this state (to teach). However, he later came to me and said I couldn't be hired because the Superintendent wanted someone with a license now. He thought that sucked and said he was sorry but at least he let me know up front. Amazingly enough, the Superintendent had a friend who needed a job and he happened to be an English teacher. Gee, what a coincidence!

This current guy- let's call him Jerk English Teacher- allegedly had experience with our kids, having worked at a juvenile justice school facility before. He's all cocky and full of himself. He's former military. he's very right wing, conservative, a know it all. He's... a jerk. He has ZERO classroom control or management. More kids during the course of a day either walk out of his classes or get kicked out or get in some sort of trouble. He's belligerent and aggressive with the kids. He doesn't seem to care if they bully each other and he's even made bullying comments to the kids. I do NOT like him at all. Most of the other teachers don't either. And I know that some administrators in our school don't. And I won't tell how I know this fact; I just do.

Because he's an English teacher, he brings his classes to the library once a week, for about 20 minutes each period. These are the most miserable 20 minutes of each period of my entire week. I try and have some structure in the library and get no support and backup. He lets the kids do whatever they want, and sometimes he even changes MY rules. Dude, is in MY library, in MY territory and he undermines me. That really ticks me off. I don't like it. I would never go into his classroom and do that to him.

I have to ask myself, though, is a confrontation with him really worth it. He's only here until the end of June, then the teacher on adoptive leave will be back- and she's amazing! Is he really worth my time or effort? I'm not sure. I'm pretty unpleasant to him at this point and I really don't care how that makes me look. We and I bumped heads the day he made fun a kid; I basically open fired on him in front of his class so they would know bullying was wrong and then I discussed the situation with my Principal who then met with the Jerk English teacher; the bullying seemed to stop, or at least in my presence. But the unruliness of his class is not fun. I thought about telling him that since he can't control the boys, then his classes are not welcome in the library until he he can. I dunno.

I just know that the next time he makes some sexist, conservative, smart arsed comment to me or near me, I might just not be my normal mild-mannered librarian self. I am open to suggestions.

In need of anger management,

Monday, April 16, 2012

Major League Baseball will not be recruiting us any time soon

Mac and I share the attic and last night he was picking stuff up to head out with some friends, waiting for a ride, while I was sitting in bed reading. We were talking (actual chatting and not yelling). I was also eating left over Easter candy and asked if he wanted a mini-Reese Peanutbutter Egg; of course he said SURE- I mean, who wouldn't want one?

He was standing a good.... 25 feet from me. I was sitting under a slanted ceiling. There were ceiling fans, and between us a lamp. And he was sitting and I sorta couldn't see him very well, mostly just his hair. I told him I toss one over but to beware. It went about 10 feet and smacked the side of his computer. This was the worst throw in history- or so I thought. We laughed and he got it from the floor, and went back to where he was sitting. He asked for another and I attempted another toss. This one smucked the ceiling and landed on the floor at the foot of MY bed so it traveled a whole 5 feet. I was about hysterical and Mac got that one and then sat on my bed and thought he would try his aim, just to see if he could hit his queen sized bed on the other end of the entire attic, which runs the length of our house.

Mac wasn't much better. He managed to bounce it off his laundry hamper and down 2 stairs. The beds are on the far left of the room and the staircase is on the far right! This was completely in foul ReeeseCup Territory. We were both laughing to the point of tears, which probably didn't help matters any. His second one went on the floor in the middle of the room; he blamed it on the fact it was one that was already thrown and it had "smushed trajectory" working against his throwing arm. I told him one more and he managed to tattoo that sucker right into the center of his bed. It only took 5 tries before it reached it's destination.

All were a bit crushed, but still entirely edible. And lots of needed laughs were had... squishy candy and giggles with my kids. Cool.


Sunday, April 15, 2012

Random Sunday thoughts

It never fails, I read one of the samples of a Nook Book and I always end up buying that sucker.

Mad Men is one of my favorite shows on TV... maybe ever. And I don't know how I'm going to function when House is over...

No one's ever called me a "sweet little school teacher". Probably because I'm not sweet. Or little. Or a teacher, technically. Guess there's my answer.

Walked 3 miles today by accident. That's the only way I would do that.

Went on a new nature trail with Mac yesterday. He didn't even try and kill me and bury me in the woods, either. We actually had FUN!

I hate bowling.

Louise Armstrong sang "O What a Wonderful World." He obviously didn't have teenagers or work with teenagers.

Short and to the point,

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Speedy process it's not

I feel like when I go to the local Speedway for fuel, it's a comedy of errors.

First, I want to say that about 6 weeks ago, they went to a pay at the pump policy. There were signs all the over the store and all over the pumps. It was on their big sign by the road and it was on local radio stations and in print ads. And once it became pay at the pump, there were still signs up.

I have a fuel card that I load money on because it give a discount. So I always put money on my fuel card and then swipe my "Speedy" card to earn points (which accumulate to free gas).

The first time I went for fuel in post pay at the pump, I went inside and loaded my fuel card and then neither my fuel card nor Speedy card worked at the pump. I had to go back in and they set it up from the register so I got fuel and my Speedy reward points while using my fuel card.

The second time, I went inside and loaded it up and at the pump it wouldn't read my Speedy card but it did take my fuel card so I didn't get any Speedy points. Bummer. I mentioned it to the girl at the register the next morning when I stopped for coffee (don't judge, it was on the way!) so she had me create an "alternate ID number" so when I went to the pump next time, I didn't need to use my Speedy card, I could just enter the alternate ID. O-kay.

So yesterday I went to get fuel, thinking third time's a charm. Uh... no. I loaded my card and at the pump I entered my alternate ID- and it worked. I swiped my Speedy card, and it worked! I pressed the button for the fuel grade I wanted and suddenly, before I touched the pump handle, the window that counts dollars add 4 cents. I hadn't even pumped anything. I know it's just 4 cents but this was the third time I had a problem. And when i tried to squeeze the nozzle to put in fuel it wouldn't work and then printed me receipt saying I spent 4 cents. WTH?!?

I walked back inside and asked Ashley for help. She said this pay at the pump has been a nightmare since it started so she walked out with me to the pump and between the 2 of us we managed to get everything working and properly after many starts and fits- we actually were cursing Speedy cards and laughing that we managed to beat equipment into submission! She went inside while I pumped. And because I go there almost daily for coffee she came back out with a cup of my favorite java, for free, for my troubles. What a SWEETIE!

I'll keep going there until all the fuel bugs are worked out. I can't be the only one with issues, right? And I'll go because they have amazingly wonderful customer service!


Friday, April 13, 2012

Post birthday

Mac's birthday celebration started out very rocky yesterday, with what was a misunderstanding but Mac attacked me verbally rather than just ask what's up. After we got passed that mess, it was a weird day.

I worked but when I got home Mac wanted the car immediately to go see a friend. I let him take it since it was his birthday... on the condition he would be home by 7pm for dinner- a dinner I might add that was his favorite: chicken parmesan. And I decided to give him cash rather than a gift because that's what he wanted. (I was going to get him a video game he wanted but the store was out and it was easier for him to get it himself, later, I guess).

I fixed dinner and made a cake and Mac never showed up. Instead I got a text from him that said he was doing something "nostalgic with Sam. Will be late. Sorry." Fine. Screw it. Daddy-O and I ate without him, and I got everything cleaned up, about an hour late. I got a phone call from work and Mac ate and spent time with Daddy-O. I got off the phone and mac was ready to "meet the guys".

He left.

So my time with Mac on his birthday involved some nasty text messages, a few good texts, 1 good phone call, and about 10 minutes of face time.

I feel bad we didn't have more time together, but I guess at age 19 if that's how he wanted to spend it, then I guess I have to deal with it. I wish, selfishly, I had some nostalgic moments with him but it wasn't meant to be.

What I feel really bad about is that not a single relative sent him a card or called and wished him a happy birthday. Not his dad, not aunts or uncles, not his half brother, not his step mother, not his other grandmother, not or cousins or anyone. Just dad and I are the only ones. Even though he's been a jerk (buttheat, etc) lately that still shouldn't be an excuse people from ignoring his birthday. I feel bad about that. And it hurts Mac's feelings.

A weird day for me as the mom... I love my kid.

Mac's mom,

Thursday, April 12, 2012


Today is Mac's 19th birthday. Happy birthday, son!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Taking baby steps to a career change?

I was sitting at lunch today with a table of staff. Everyone was within a year or two of my age accept one woman, who was 51 years old.

They all have toddlers; the 51 year old has grand kids she sees every singe day and they're ages 3 and 5 years. Anyway, all of them talked about Dora an explorer who speaks Spanish and has a talking backpack???? This is a kid's show. And Barney is still on, which I was surprised about. And something about wiggling, or wiggles, or the wigglers. And Backyardians. And something called Yo Gabba Gabba... what the heck? I've never heard of most of these, though Dora sounds sorta familiar.

We're all the same age but my kid about is about to turn 19 years old and the rest of them are all dealing with toddlers, potty training, and picking nursery schools and making sure car seats are up to spec. I'm just thrilled if my kid comes home at night alive or that I don't find a bag of weed in his pants pocket when I do his laundry.

I wonder if I would do better as a parent as an older person than I obviously did with Mac since I gave birth to him when I was 21 years old and was a single mom for 16 years.

The other day I was stopped because of a train beside a day care center. The kids were outside with three adults playing follow the leader. they also were playing with a colorful ribbon and walking in a nice line while they all played. Everyone looked like they were having fun, even the adults. The kids were sweet-looking. Everyone was in jeans and summer clothes. The kids were about 4 years old. They were cute.

I don't want to have a baby or a toddler. I think I just want to work in a pre-school.

Maybe it's time for a career change?


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My schedule today

I know there are times when I write a "what I did today" because I have nothing to write and it can be a boring read. But seriously, here's my day. Really. I couldn't make this stuff up. This all happened between the hours of 7:30am- 4:30pm...
  • Hosted 5 classes in the library over three periods for National Library Week, and gave a presentation to each class
  • Burned about 24 CDs
  • Answered about 20 emails
  • Made about 10 phone calls
  • Started organizing a field trip which involved about a dozen emails, phone calls and meetings
  • proctored a GED student 6 periods (our whole day is 6 periods)
  • helped said GED student, who is sweet as can be but dumber than owl poop, write a business letter to a college she got into. Her first draft was in 22 point Curlz font, one long paragraph, no date, no signature, used only her first name, said "ya know", and full of slang. She thought it was business format because she didn't indent.
  • I subbed for 3 classes and rescheduled 5 others that were supposed to visit the library- they'll be arriving tomorrow
  • asked to do an art club activity at the last minute- we could call it an art emergency
  • recruited kids to do last minute art club activity
  • recruited adults to help with the murder mystery party
  • recruited adults to help with an origami artist and lecture luncheon
  • scheduled both above 2 events
  • cleared campus wide calendar for above 2 events
  • supervised emergency art club AND cleaned up the mess
  • broke up a boy fight
  • supervised 2 classes in 2 separate room, running back and forth between both, so bigger people than me can finish breaking up the boy fight
  • supervised 3 kids at lunch who had no supervision
  • dropped stuff off to my boss
  • visited the business office to get money and a task that usually takes me 5 minutes took 20 since one of the staff was out sick and I had to deal with a new person
  • washed a coffee cup
  • chatted with my mentee Girl
  • refereed girlie gossip and put a stop to that BS
  • checked out books, checked in books, helped kids find stuff to read, put books away- you know, library stuff

All that was at work...

AFTER work I

  • dropped off my taxes with my accountant
  • picked up my broken computer which is now fixed
  • dropped off projects I graded (for cash) to a fellow teacher friend
  • drank Starbucks
  • called and cancelled an eye doc appointment
  • called Mac's old college to get tax info
  • accepted a call to sub on Friday NEXT week

This doesn't count personal phone calls, dinner, blogging, driving, or answering emails.

I'm tired,


Monday, April 9, 2012

I love my car, no matter what

My poor car...
  • It has a broke side mirror.
  • Missing 2 hubcaps
  • the electronic window and lock control panel is popped out on the passenger side door
  • the electronic window and lock control panel is sunken in on the driver's side door
  • the rubber seal is coming off around the driver side door
  • my front passenger side headlight is out
  • the check engine light is on
  • the ABS light is on
  • 1 and 2 blower settings don't work on the heat and air conditioner gauge
  • the windows can all be rolled down but not up from the driver's side door
  • the trunk leaks
  • the driver side power locks don't work
  • the interior light won't come on when the driver door opens
  • the new brakes still squeal
  • the console storage is broken- when opened it falls off the hinge
  • the glove box is broken- when opened it falls off the hinge
  • one speaker is blown out
  • the window tinting on the rear and back passenger side windows is peeling off
  • the paint is peeling off

I *heart* my car!!!!


Sunday, April 8, 2012

Bad news on a Good day

It was not a Good Friday for me the other day: I went to the optometrist and learned I need bi-focals. Though I guess it was worse for other people last Friday... at least I wasn't crucified or something like that.


Hoppy Easter. Hope yours was Egg-cellent! (and hey, I only get to be that punny once a year!)


Saturday, April 7, 2012

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Could it be any more relaxing?

Wednesday's agenda:
Drank Starbucks
Made homemade chicken salad for lunch
Sat at Starbucks, reading for a few hours
Took a nap
Took a walk
Texted friends and fam
Visited a new library
Ate a steak dinner
Watched TV

Thursday's Agenda:
Drank Starbucks
Ate breakfast at the diner
Took a nap
Shopped at a vintage clothing store: got 3 shirts, 2 jackets, 1 sweater, 1 dress for $36
Ate homemade chicken salad for lunch
Read another book
Texted friends and fam
Went for a walk
Visited a small, privately owned books store
Went to an open mic poetry night
Ate fantastic BBQ for supper
Watched tv

What got accomplished on the agendas? EVERYTHING!!!!


Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Great Family Day, too!

Spent the day in the capital city with Daddy-O and two of my cousins from the southern part of the State.

It cracks me up that we met and hung out at a Barnes and Noble for a few hours, sitting in the cafe, chatting and doing book stuff. I got Daddy-O an early birthday gift- a Nook Color and we all 4 played with it there at the store so if he had problems or questions, we were there to take care of it ASAP.

We also ate a fab lunch at Red Robin and laughed and talked more.

It was a fun day with some family. I love these cousins and it was nice to just relax with them

Another great vacay day!


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Great Girlie Day

Yesterday I went to Northern Civilization to hang with Lilith. Great conversation, great food, Starbucks, great friend, great laughs, great shopping, great shoes and purse finds, great everything.

I love hanging with her! I never get enough time between her schedule and my insane schedule, too so I LOVE it when we can finally get together.

What a great way to start spring break!



Monday, April 2, 2012

Hiatus due to a much needed break

Going on a vacay so I have no idea how much I'll be blogging this week while I'm on spring break! But never fear, I will BE BACK! (<--- say that in your best Arnold voice!)


Sunday, April 1, 2012

I'm a blog cheater

I've been trying to post every day this year and basically I've been cheating. I decided to myself- rather than making it written goal- that I wanted to post at least once a day this whole year. I've been blogging for 6 years now and I don't think I've ever posted for an entire year. I thought this would be it. I also decided I wanted to WRITE. I thought I might occasionally post a picture I took and I thought I might give myself permission around holidays to do something cheesy with clip art, but I didn't want to resort to memes or pictures of sexy actors or my shoes and purses. I wanted to try and write something every single day this year.

I love blogging and I don't feel it's a hobby that's run its course for me yet- though readers might think so!

Sometimes I don't have time or I am so worn out to post in the course of a day so the next time I do, I back post a couple days.

Other times I don't have any ideas. I feel like my brain is just dry. Then I suddenly get a bunch of ideas so I write a whole bunch of posts at one time and then back post them. This is what I did today.

So go ahead and read back a few days. There's new stuff. I need to get better at this. I just need more hours in my day. Or I need to make better use of what time I do have. It might be easier to get more hours, though!

Happy reading of me!