We won't see her on Jeopardy anytime soon

I have decided the first blog post ever, in the history of blogging, the first post had to be an experience about something that happened at Wal-Mart. Because what happened to me over the weekend was a gift from the blogging gods.

I'm in line and there's only one person behind me in line. The Wally World clerk running the register was Robin. If you go to Wal-Mart and Robin is working, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Trust me on this, okay?

Anyway, I'm in line, piling my stuff on the conveyor belt, and Robin is ringing everything up. She picks up a bag of produce and starts turning it over and over again, looking in the bag, shaking it. I just say, "it's cilantro." She picks up her little fruit and veggie car with all the codes and pictures on it, and punches the cilantro number in the register. Now, I realize that fresh cilantro may not be recognizable to everyone, and could easily be mistaken for fresh parsley if someone didn't know any better, so I didn't think very much about it. The next item she picked up was a mango. She turned it over and over again and then looked at me. I said, "mango." Again, she picked up the fruit and veggie card and put in the number. Again, okay, I reasoned, not everyone would know what a mango looks like. I guess.

She picks up my third produce item and just looks at me. I slowly say, "reeeeeeeed onion?" and yes, I said it as a question. Not because I wasn't sure if it was a red onion or not, but I was wondering if she was seriously asking me if it was an onion, or if I was mistaken. But nope, she was looking to me for identification. The woman behind me is giggling behind her hand at this point and we make eye contact and I raise my eyebrow at her and she just shrugged that "what can ya do?" shrug. Robin the cashier picks up the next item, and I am not freaking kidding, she looks and me to see what it was. I thought she had to be joking, but she just stood there staring at me, waiting. I so wanted to say 'celery' to see what she would do, but I told her what was really in the bag that she obviously couldn't identify: cucumbers. She didn't know what cucumbers were! I had to tell her about cucumbers! Oh. My. God. I looked at the woman in line behind me and she was practically doubled over with hysteria.

As she reached for my last item, I had several simultaneous thoughts exploding in my head at once. I was dying to see if she would ask me what I had. I sort of wanted her to ask. I also thought no one could be that dumb. And I also decided if Robin the Wally World employee asked me what it was, I was going to reach over and switch off her light and tell her to just go home and never come back because she was just too dumb to work at Wal -Mart.

The woman in line behind me was leaning forward and we were both just holding our collective breath, I know. Robin paused for a minute and then, without aid from me, she rang up the bananas.

Robin still works at Wal-Mart.

Maggie