Last night around 11pm I was at Wally World picking up a few groceries.
As I reading the nutrition information on Carmel corn rice cakes, an African American (race is actually relevant so continue to read) gentleman about my age approached me. He said "excuse me."
I apparently was still in work mode because after being slightly startled, I said "May I help you?"
He smiled and said "I just wanted to tell you that I think you're just beautiful." Uhhhhhh,, wha????? And that must've been the look on my face because he repeated himself. I said thanks and smiled, which apparently he took as an invitation.
He then held out his hand to shake mine and told me his name was Jerry. Reflex kicked in and I shook back and said my first name.
He told me he was from Chicago and was a truck driver and just was buying stuff to cook himself supper. He said he doesn't usually approach women in the grocery store but just wanted to tell me I was beautiful. He went on to say that where he was from didn't usually allow him to meet nor date white women but if he were to do that, he'd like to date someone who looks just like me because I'm so attractive.
I said thanks and walked away.
What else was I supposed to do?
It was a lovely set of compliments. But sort of a little creepy...
Weird Wal-Mart happenings,
Mags
Showing posts with label wally world. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wally world. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
All the villiage idiots were gathered at Wal Mart last night
I should love Wally World because they give me blog fodder but my feelings still haven't changed. I still hate Wal-Mart. I just can't help it. Well, I guess I could help it if I didn't go there anymore but we have no place in my hometown to shop otherwise.
Tonight all the people at Wally World- the other shoppers- were gross. Don't these people bathe? They had soap in their carts so why did they all stink? They had body soap and laundry soap so why the BO smell? And these weren't all people in the same family, either, but different people all over the store. They just stank of nasty!
And why are people coming to Wal-Mart in the pajama pants? What the hell is that? I still don't understand that. Was there a convention of pajama pants wearer? Do these people not care? I hate life right now but I haven't given up all sense of fashion and basic decorum.
Tonight there was a ton of shoppers, too. And of course there were only about 3 of the 40 check out lanes open and the lines were all backed up into the clothes. And do you know what I saw? Three managers (CSMs????????) all standing and chatting about the impending snow storm. They weren't running registers or calling for more cashiers or providing any sort of customer service.
Finally, the other thing that pissed me off is the parking lot stalker. I did not have a good parking space. I was not anywhere near a door. As a matter of fact, I was 11 spaces from the front of the store and I was in that weird part in between the pharmacy doors and the outside section doors. I was basically where no one wants to be in the winter. So why in the hell was someone sharking me? I swear a woman in an SUV followed me all the way and then waited for me to pull out so she could have my crappy space. She even honked at me!! (And no I didn't know who she was!) It was cold and the wind was blowing and I wasn't near anything. It was just stupid.
Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!
Maggie
Tonight all the people at Wally World- the other shoppers- were gross. Don't these people bathe? They had soap in their carts so why did they all stink? They had body soap and laundry soap so why the BO smell? And these weren't all people in the same family, either, but different people all over the store. They just stank of nasty!
And why are people coming to Wal-Mart in the pajama pants? What the hell is that? I still don't understand that. Was there a convention of pajama pants wearer? Do these people not care? I hate life right now but I haven't given up all sense of fashion and basic decorum.
Tonight there was a ton of shoppers, too. And of course there were only about 3 of the 40 check out lanes open and the lines were all backed up into the clothes. And do you know what I saw? Three managers (CSMs????????) all standing and chatting about the impending snow storm. They weren't running registers or calling for more cashiers or providing any sort of customer service.
Finally, the other thing that pissed me off is the parking lot stalker. I did not have a good parking space. I was not anywhere near a door. As a matter of fact, I was 11 spaces from the front of the store and I was in that weird part in between the pharmacy doors and the outside section doors. I was basically where no one wants to be in the winter. So why in the hell was someone sharking me? I swear a woman in an SUV followed me all the way and then waited for me to pull out so she could have my crappy space. She even honked at me!! (And no I didn't know who she was!) It was cold and the wind was blowing and I wasn't near anything. It was just stupid.
Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!
Maggie
Monday, September 5, 2011
Holy Cow- it's cold! Finally! And other news...
It didn't get above 61 degrees here today, and that was in the sun. There's a terrific breeze (maybe we can call it a wind?) blowing and it's just beautiful after all the we must be in hell HOT HEAT ICK we've had here in the Midwest. It's so cold that Daddy-O's hung around the house in long pants, socks, long sleeves and a hat on his bald head. ITSam wore jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. I told them they were wusses and there would be 10 feet of snow outside and I was still wearing flip-flops, short sleeves and my capris. Man, I hate it when I shoot my mouth off. Once I finally lit in one spot long enough, and right in front of a window with the wind blowing on me, I was sort of wishing for socks and long sleeves. However, I am sticking to my resolve to wear flip-flops only...
Yes, those are flip-flop socks. Think mittens for your toes with the big toe playing the role of thumb.
In other news...
I heard from Mac today and the phone is officially stolen. No one has seen it, heard it, turned it in for lost, etc. It's gone, gone, gone. And all that stuff we hear about on tv about not being able to trace the "throw away" phones? Well, that's true, so if you want to commit a crime and need a phone, get a throw away! I wanted to see if there was any activity on the phone between when it was lost until now, but AT&T can't do it since it's the "disposable" go-phone. The other thing that sucks is that I can't get a replacement because of that so I have to buy him a whole new phone. And of course the college wouldn't do anything to help with this either. That just ticks me off. Mac, while a butthead in other ways sometimes, isn't at fault for the phone being stolen. I bought it on-line as a refurb, and might order him another the same way. I'm sitting here with a $50 re-fill card for it so I might as well. I hate crap like this. The good news is that whomever got the phone can't use Mac's number and minutes because the phone company killed the SIM card in it; however, the perpetrator could go to an AT&T store and just buy another SIM card and still use the phone. That so sucks.
This weekend Archiver's hosted ANOTHER free craft weekend- they SO rock! This time is was making 3-D flowers. Here are our efforts:
I went to Wally World to grocery shop and the shelves, and as Mother Hubbard would say, are bare. Since it's a holiday weekend so many vendors haven't been in to re-stock ,and pickins were slim on lots of things. It's a good thing that Daddy-O hates the Slimmwich bread rounds with all the grains, nuts, twigs, and oat flakes on top because I couldn't buy any of those; all they had were PLAIN- much to father's liking but too bad for anyone else- and one package of Plain, which I snagged! I also looked for either Club or Townhouse crackers, the original flavor. Not garlic, not low sodium, not light butter, not wheat, not pretzel, not Flipz, not herb, but PLAIN BUTTER ORIGINALS. None. I even broke my cardinal rule and asked an associate (Oh Lord help us, but I didn't kill anyone!) but to no avail. The associate who helped me said she thought there were some on a display somewhere and she looked and called someone else to help her look but couldn't find any. None. But near the door, I found the display, AND the last box of crackers!!!!!!! (I have to giggle that they "lost" a whole display... guess that's the way the cracker crumbles! *I can hear you all groan, you know!*)
And in the category of "I'm an idiot"... I put on a gray shirt this morning but didn't like how it fit so I grabbed one of Mac's old t-shirts, that's bright BRIGHT green! Then I went grocery shopping and when I came out and caught sight of a bright green shirt reflection on the car window, I literally turned around and looked behind me for Mac. Then I looked down and saw the green was me... I was really surprised and went "hey, I'm wearing a green shirt!" Oh. my. goodness! No, I am not blond.
I get a phone call from ITSam that goes something like this:
him: "Hypothetically speaking, how do you clean up hand-cream that was in a tube that might have been on the floor and then might have been stepped on and say, hypothetically, shot out all over the carpet in a big oozing puddle glob?"
me: "Oh gross. Did you step in it too, hypothetically speaking?"
him: "nope, but the hypothetical carpet smells good. I scooped it up with cardboard. Do you want me to put it in a jar or baggie or something to keep it?"
So, a tube of my Bath and Body Hand Cream- gardenia scent- was on his bedroom floor and is now ON THE FLOOR and he wants to know if he should keep it for me? Ummm, I think not. I also want to say he took a picture of the mess and I was going to post it here but this blog is rated PG-13 (an occasional R thrown in)- not X! Ick! You really don't want to see that...
Finally, I know it was a 4 day weekend for me but I am so not ready to go back to school tomorrow. And I know that means I only have a 3 day school week but I still don't wanna go. I am SO lazy!
And that's it from here.
TMI?
Maggie
Yes, those are flip-flop socks. Think mittens for your toes with the big toe playing the role of thumb.In other news...
I heard from Mac today and the phone is officially stolen. No one has seen it, heard it, turned it in for lost, etc. It's gone, gone, gone. And all that stuff we hear about on tv about not being able to trace the "throw away" phones? Well, that's true, so if you want to commit a crime and need a phone, get a throw away! I wanted to see if there was any activity on the phone between when it was lost until now, but AT&T can't do it since it's the "disposable" go-phone. The other thing that sucks is that I can't get a replacement because of that so I have to buy him a whole new phone. And of course the college wouldn't do anything to help with this either. That just ticks me off. Mac, while a butthead in other ways sometimes, isn't at fault for the phone being stolen. I bought it on-line as a refurb, and might order him another the same way. I'm sitting here with a $50 re-fill card for it so I might as well. I hate crap like this. The good news is that whomever got the phone can't use Mac's number and minutes because the phone company killed the SIM card in it; however, the perpetrator could go to an AT&T store and just buy another SIM card and still use the phone. That so sucks.
This weekend Archiver's hosted ANOTHER free craft weekend- they SO rock! This time is was making 3-D flowers. Here are our efforts:
I went to Wally World to grocery shop and the shelves, and as Mother Hubbard would say, are bare. Since it's a holiday weekend so many vendors haven't been in to re-stock ,and pickins were slim on lots of things. It's a good thing that Daddy-O hates the Slimmwich bread rounds with all the grains, nuts, twigs, and oat flakes on top because I couldn't buy any of those; all they had were PLAIN- much to father's liking but too bad for anyone else- and one package of Plain, which I snagged! I also looked for either Club or Townhouse crackers, the original flavor. Not garlic, not low sodium, not light butter, not wheat, not pretzel, not Flipz, not herb, but PLAIN BUTTER ORIGINALS. None. I even broke my cardinal rule and asked an associate (Oh Lord help us, but I didn't kill anyone!) but to no avail. The associate who helped me said she thought there were some on a display somewhere and she looked and called someone else to help her look but couldn't find any. None. But near the door, I found the display, AND the last box of crackers!!!!!!! (I have to giggle that they "lost" a whole display... guess that's the way the cracker crumbles! *I can hear you all groan, you know!*)
And in the category of "I'm an idiot"... I put on a gray shirt this morning but didn't like how it fit so I grabbed one of Mac's old t-shirts, that's bright BRIGHT green! Then I went grocery shopping and when I came out and caught sight of a bright green shirt reflection on the car window, I literally turned around and looked behind me for Mac. Then I looked down and saw the green was me... I was really surprised and went "hey, I'm wearing a green shirt!" Oh. my. goodness! No, I am not blond.
I get a phone call from ITSam that goes something like this:
him: "Hypothetically speaking, how do you clean up hand-cream that was in a tube that might have been on the floor and then might have been stepped on and say, hypothetically, shot out all over the carpet in a big oozing puddle glob?"
me: "Oh gross. Did you step in it too, hypothetically speaking?"
him: "nope, but the hypothetical carpet smells good. I scooped it up with cardboard. Do you want me to put it in a jar or baggie or something to keep it?"
So, a tube of my Bath and Body Hand Cream- gardenia scent- was on his bedroom floor and is now ON THE FLOOR and he wants to know if he should keep it for me? Ummm, I think not. I also want to say he took a picture of the mess and I was going to post it here but this blog is rated PG-13 (an occasional R thrown in)- not X! Ick! You really don't want to see that...
Finally, I know it was a 4 day weekend for me but I am so not ready to go back to school tomorrow. And I know that means I only have a 3 day school week but I still don't wanna go. I am SO lazy!
And that's it from here.
TMI?
Maggie
Monday, June 28, 2010
Random tids and bits on a Monday afternoon
I had three dates this weekend. Yup, I know they're dates since you all said so. And so did he. He called to see if I wanted to get a Starbucks coffee last night. Uh, YEAH! And the reason for the "mini dates"? He has an 11 year old son and this is one of the weeks of the summer when he comes to to stay so he doesn't want to take off for an evening and leave his boy with a sitter or with g'rents. So we've had short, dates. But he's asked me to dinner next Monday. Okay, so... dates. Me. Dates. Okay, weird.
And speaking of weird. Next weekend I'm assisting a photographer to shoot a wedding. At a rock quarry. In the middle of no where. But that's not the whole strange part. In talking to the aforementioned Sam with whom I've had three mini dates, I come to find out it's his niece who's getting married whose pictures I'm taking. Irony...
I want this jacket. It's awesome. Wonder if Curley and I could make it?
The third summer session at Alcatraz started today. I was in the home ec. room the last two sessions because they had tables and I didn't want desks, but I got moved because this session someone is teaching a cooking class. I'm in the science room. Why do science rooms always smell gross????
I really want to have a Mad Hatter tea party but I have no one to tea party with. When the Divine Ms K is old enough, we are totally going to do it. I can't convince my friends and Mac that this would be fun. They think I'm nuts. And I am. Maybe I'm slightly mad.
Did you know you're supposed to buy a new scrubbie (loofah thingy) about every 3 months? It's a good place for bacteria to grow. And for misquotes to lay eggs. I was thinking I needed to get one over the weekend, and I forget to pick it up. I had a reminder this morning to do it- I had a big, black beetle in mine this morning. I freaked out! And when I killed the beetle, he "crunched" inside the pink loofah and had guts everywhere. Guess I'm getting a new one. Today.
On Saturday I shopped at Wal-Mart and discovered today that I was missing a bunch of stuff. Looking at the receipt it was the last 4 things on the list. I called Wally World and they had a RECORD of what I forgot and when I was there. I couldn't believe it. They said all I have to do is come out and get my stuff, come to the service desk and it will be taken care of. How cool of them! How stupid of me!
Over the weekend someone broke into my car. Well, I should say, got in my car unbeknownst to me and without my permission. It wasn't locked, so I guess it wasn't technically a break-in. AND, other than throw stuff all over the car, they took nothing but a half a bottle of generic Tylenol. Mac said we're too poor to even be robbed. He said my CDs apparently suck so much they didn't want to take 'em. XRayGirl said she couldn't believe they didn't break my Michael Buble CD on principle. (Um, she's not a fan........)
And finally.............. I heard this song on the movie From Paris with Love (crappy movie, good music). Anyway, what's the genre? French jazz? It sounds like the sort of music in WWII movies as Paris is being liberated. I want more music like this, but I have no idea how to find music with this style. Got any ideas? [and please please PLEASE pardon the video. I didn't want to have video at all, but I wanted this rendition of the song and it's all I could find, for gods sake........ feh!]
And speaking of weird. Next weekend I'm assisting a photographer to shoot a wedding. At a rock quarry. In the middle of no where. But that's not the whole strange part. In talking to the aforementioned Sam with whom I've had three mini dates, I come to find out it's his niece who's getting married whose pictures I'm taking. Irony...
I want this jacket. It's awesome. Wonder if Curley and I could make it?
The third summer session at Alcatraz started today. I was in the home ec. room the last two sessions because they had tables and I didn't want desks, but I got moved because this session someone is teaching a cooking class. I'm in the science room. Why do science rooms always smell gross????I really want to have a Mad Hatter tea party but I have no one to tea party with. When the Divine Ms K is old enough, we are totally going to do it. I can't convince my friends and Mac that this would be fun. They think I'm nuts. And I am. Maybe I'm slightly mad.
Did you know you're supposed to buy a new scrubbie (loofah thingy) about every 3 months? It's a good place for bacteria to grow. And for misquotes to lay eggs. I was thinking I needed to get one over the weekend, and I forget to pick it up. I had a reminder this morning to do it- I had a big, black beetle in mine this morning. I freaked out! And when I killed the beetle, he "crunched" inside the pink loofah and had guts everywhere. Guess I'm getting a new one. Today.
On Saturday I shopped at Wal-Mart and discovered today that I was missing a bunch of stuff. Looking at the receipt it was the last 4 things on the list. I called Wally World and they had a RECORD of what I forgot and when I was there. I couldn't believe it. They said all I have to do is come out and get my stuff, come to the service desk and it will be taken care of. How cool of them! How stupid of me!
Over the weekend someone broke into my car. Well, I should say, got in my car unbeknownst to me and without my permission. It wasn't locked, so I guess it wasn't technically a break-in. AND, other than throw stuff all over the car, they took nothing but a half a bottle of generic Tylenol. Mac said we're too poor to even be robbed. He said my CDs apparently suck so much they didn't want to take 'em. XRayGirl said she couldn't believe they didn't break my Michael Buble CD on principle. (Um, she's not a fan........)
And finally.............. I heard this song on the movie From Paris with Love (crappy movie, good music). Anyway, what's the genre? French jazz? It sounds like the sort of music in WWII movies as Paris is being liberated. I want more music like this, but I have no idea how to find music with this style. Got any ideas? [and please please PLEASE pardon the video. I didn't want to have video at all, but I wanted this rendition of the song and it's all I could find, for gods sake........ feh!]
Well, that's all for today!
Mags
Mags
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Customer Service
An example of very bad customer service:
A very sick person goes to the Wal-mart Pharmacy to pick up her prescription. She had gotten a box of Puffs first so she could pay for the medicines and the tissues together rather than stand in line twice since she was sick- and so sick anyone looking at her could tell she WA SICK. She arrives in front of the pharmacy counter and it's 6:01 pm. The pharmacy closes at 6 pm. The pharmacy tech. is lowering the gate to the pharmacy and says, as it goes down, "We close at 6." No sorry. No anything. Are you freaking kidding me? One damn minute? Really? It's three days later and I am STILL pissed about it!
An example of EXCELLENT customer service:
I went to Starbucks yesterday. I had a coupon for a "buy a tall cherry mocha, get one free." Well, Mac nor I were going to use it; I just had it in the bottom of my purse. So I'm in line and a person in the drive thru orders exactly what my coupon was for. I tell the barista taking orders there and gave the coupon to the random drive thru person.
Then I order my 2 drinks and 2 pastries. Then when I go to pay my ATM card will not work. But it was payday and I had JUST talked to the bank (on my cell phone in the parking lot of the Starbucks before I walked in the door) and the teller on the phone said I had money in my checking account, because my ATM card had just been rejected when I was at the mall mere minutes before.
The girl who was ringing me up at Starbucks was quiet and discrete when she told me my card wouldn't work (I don't think anyone in line even heard what happened as I was scrambling through my purse for cash. I was impressed that she didn't want to embarrass me). The manager, who had NO idea my ATM card didn't work, happened by at this time and said to me, "Are you the person who gave her free cherry mochas away?" I said yes. And do you know what the manager did?!?
She said I could have my drinks for free, BOTH of them, because I did something nice for a total stranger and she thought that was cool. I said thanks and the girl re-rang my stuff and my pastries were less that $5 which is what I had on me in cash. Problem unintentionally solved. The girl running the register winked at me and all was well.
Wal-Mart should take a lesson from the totally rockin' STARBUCKS!
Mocha lover,
Maggie
A very sick person goes to the Wal-mart Pharmacy to pick up her prescription. She had gotten a box of Puffs first so she could pay for the medicines and the tissues together rather than stand in line twice since she was sick- and so sick anyone looking at her could tell she WA SICK. She arrives in front of the pharmacy counter and it's 6:01 pm. The pharmacy closes at 6 pm. The pharmacy tech. is lowering the gate to the pharmacy and says, as it goes down, "We close at 6." No sorry. No anything. Are you freaking kidding me? One damn minute? Really? It's three days later and I am STILL pissed about it!
An example of EXCELLENT customer service:
I went to Starbucks yesterday. I had a coupon for a "buy a tall cherry mocha, get one free." Well, Mac nor I were going to use it; I just had it in the bottom of my purse. So I'm in line and a person in the drive thru orders exactly what my coupon was for. I tell the barista taking orders there and gave the coupon to the random drive thru person.
Then I order my 2 drinks and 2 pastries. Then when I go to pay my ATM card will not work. But it was payday and I had JUST talked to the bank (on my cell phone in the parking lot of the Starbucks before I walked in the door) and the teller on the phone said I had money in my checking account, because my ATM card had just been rejected when I was at the mall mere minutes before.
The girl who was ringing me up at Starbucks was quiet and discrete when she told me my card wouldn't work (I don't think anyone in line even heard what happened as I was scrambling through my purse for cash. I was impressed that she didn't want to embarrass me). The manager, who had NO idea my ATM card didn't work, happened by at this time and said to me, "Are you the person who gave her free cherry mochas away?" I said yes. And do you know what the manager did?!?
She said I could have my drinks for free, BOTH of them, because I did something nice for a total stranger and she thought that was cool. I said thanks and the girl re-rang my stuff and my pastries were less that $5 which is what I had on me in cash. Problem unintentionally solved. The girl running the register winked at me and all was well.
Wal-Mart should take a lesson from the totally rockin' STARBUCKS!
Mocha lover,
Maggie
Monday, February 8, 2010
We won't see her on Jeopardy anytime soon
I have decided the first blog post ever, in the history of blogging, the first post had to be an experience about something that happened at Wal-Mart. Because what happened to me over the weekend was a gift from the blogging gods.
I'm in line and there's only one person behind me in line. The Wally World clerk running the register was Robin. If you go to Wal-Mart and Robin is working, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Trust me on this, okay?
Anyway, I'm in line, piling my stuff on the conveyor belt, and Robin is ringing everything up. She picks up a bag of produce and starts turning it over and over again, looking in the bag, shaking it. I just say, "it's cilantro." She picks up her little fruit and veggie car with all the codes and pictures on it, and punches the cilantro number in the register. Now, I realize that fresh cilantro may not be recognizable to everyone, and could easily be mistaken for fresh parsley if someone didn't know any better, so I didn't think very much about it. The next item she picked up was a mango. She turned it over and over again and then looked at me. I said, "mango." Again, she picked up the fruit and veggie card and put in the number. Again, okay, I reasoned, not everyone would know what a mango looks like. I guess.
She picks up my third produce item and just looks at me. I slowly say, "reeeeeeeed onion?" and yes, I said it as a question. Not because I wasn't sure if it was a red onion or not, but I was wondering if she was seriously asking me if it was an onion, or if I was mistaken. But nope, she was looking to me for identification. The woman behind me is giggling behind her hand at this point and we make eye contact and I raise my eyebrow at her and she just shrugged that "what can ya do?" shrug. Robin the cashier picks up the next item, and I am not freaking kidding, she looks and me to see what it was. I thought she had to be joking, but she just stood there staring at me, waiting. I so wanted to say 'celery' to see what she would do, but I told her what was really in the bag that she obviously couldn't identify: cucumbers. She didn't know what cucumbers were! I had to tell her about cucumbers! Oh. My. God. I looked at the woman in line behind me and she was practically doubled over with hysteria.
As she reached for my last item, I had several simultaneous thoughts exploding in my head at once. I was dying to see if she would ask me what I had. I sort of wanted her to ask. I also thought no one could be that dumb. And I also decided if Robin the Wally World employee asked me what it was, I was going to reach over and switch off her light and tell her to just go home and never come back because she was just too dumb to work at Wal -Mart.
The woman in line behind me was leaning forward and we were both just holding our collective breath, I know. Robin paused for a minute and then, without aid from me, she rang up the bananas.
Robin still works at Wal-Mart.
Maggie
I'm in line and there's only one person behind me in line. The Wally World clerk running the register was Robin. If you go to Wal-Mart and Robin is working, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Trust me on this, okay?
Anyway, I'm in line, piling my stuff on the conveyor belt, and Robin is ringing everything up. She picks up a bag of produce and starts turning it over and over again, looking in the bag, shaking it. I just say, "it's cilantro." She picks up her little fruit and veggie car with all the codes and pictures on it, and punches the cilantro number in the register. Now, I realize that fresh cilantro may not be recognizable to everyone, and could easily be mistaken for fresh parsley if someone didn't know any better, so I didn't think very much about it. The next item she picked up was a mango. She turned it over and over again and then looked at me. I said, "mango." Again, she picked up the fruit and veggie card and put in the number. Again, okay, I reasoned, not everyone would know what a mango looks like. I guess.
She picks up my third produce item and just looks at me. I slowly say, "reeeeeeeed onion?" and yes, I said it as a question. Not because I wasn't sure if it was a red onion or not, but I was wondering if she was seriously asking me if it was an onion, or if I was mistaken. But nope, she was looking to me for identification. The woman behind me is giggling behind her hand at this point and we make eye contact and I raise my eyebrow at her and she just shrugged that "what can ya do?" shrug. Robin the cashier picks up the next item, and I am not freaking kidding, she looks and me to see what it was. I thought she had to be joking, but she just stood there staring at me, waiting. I so wanted to say 'celery' to see what she would do, but I told her what was really in the bag that she obviously couldn't identify: cucumbers. She didn't know what cucumbers were! I had to tell her about cucumbers! Oh. My. God. I looked at the woman in line behind me and she was practically doubled over with hysteria.
As she reached for my last item, I had several simultaneous thoughts exploding in my head at once. I was dying to see if she would ask me what I had. I sort of wanted her to ask. I also thought no one could be that dumb. And I also decided if Robin the Wally World employee asked me what it was, I was going to reach over and switch off her light and tell her to just go home and never come back because she was just too dumb to work at Wal -Mart.
The woman in line behind me was leaning forward and we were both just holding our collective breath, I know. Robin paused for a minute and then, without aid from me, she rang up the bananas.
Robin still works at Wal-Mart.
Maggie
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Last thoughts about Halloween
We had the most polite kids ever that were at the door on Halloween. I was so impressed- about 95% of the kids said "thanks" or "thank you" or "Happy Halloween, ma'am". It was nice to see kids who were polite.
I was also impressed that every group of kids who came to the door were with a parent or with an older sibling. None of the kids were walking around alone, which was nice to see. I'm glad that parents were so cautious and involved.
The kids looked really cute, too. Not one kid showed up without a costume. I don't care if they're store bought or homemade, I think it a person is gonna trick-or-treat they should at least go to the trouble of dressing up. That's the point. I would treat adults, kids, and teenagers if they were in a costume- I really wouldn't care. This year, everyone was in costumes: lots of princess, fairies, monsters, a monkey, a tiger, Batman, one Michael Jackson, rock stars, one undead hooker, a doctor, a pony, and many more. I thought the kids looked great. And I was impressed and delighted at how many parents were dressed up!
This was a year that not one teenager came to the door. When I lived here in Civilization years ago, teenagers would show up and trick-or-treat with no costume or bag. They just rang the bell and stood at the door with a hand out. This year, we didn't have anyone like that at all! I was even shocked that none of Daddy-O's students even showed. It was a first!
Finally, I was at Wally World on Saturday afternoon and TONS of employees were in costume, though it was mostly the check out people. They had gone all out: an Native American Indian Princess, a gypsy, a hippie, and the woman whose line I was in. This woman is very masculine in stature- she's about 6'0-6'2" and very bulky/ broad. She's not fat, she's just built like a linebacker. And she was dressed like Raggedy Ann. The Wally World employee who operated my check out line was a giant Raggedy Ann... it was surreal.
Waiting to trick or treat again,
Maggie Mae
I was also impressed that every group of kids who came to the door were with a parent or with an older sibling. None of the kids were walking around alone, which was nice to see. I'm glad that parents were so cautious and involved.
The kids looked really cute, too. Not one kid showed up without a costume. I don't care if they're store bought or homemade, I think it a person is gonna trick-or-treat they should at least go to the trouble of dressing up. That's the point. I would treat adults, kids, and teenagers if they were in a costume- I really wouldn't care. This year, everyone was in costumes: lots of princess, fairies, monsters, a monkey, a tiger, Batman, one Michael Jackson, rock stars, one undead hooker, a doctor, a pony, and many more. I thought the kids looked great. And I was impressed and delighted at how many parents were dressed up!
This was a year that not one teenager came to the door. When I lived here in Civilization years ago, teenagers would show up and trick-or-treat with no costume or bag. They just rang the bell and stood at the door with a hand out. This year, we didn't have anyone like that at all! I was even shocked that none of Daddy-O's students even showed. It was a first!
Finally, I was at Wally World on Saturday afternoon and TONS of employees were in costume, though it was mostly the check out people. They had gone all out: an Native American Indian Princess, a gypsy, a hippie, and the woman whose line I was in. This woman is very masculine in stature- she's about 6'0-6'2" and very bulky/ broad. She's not fat, she's just built like a linebacker. And she was dressed like Raggedy Ann. The Wally World employee who operated my check out line was a giant Raggedy Ann... it was surreal.
Waiting to trick or treat again,
Maggie Mae
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
For Stephanie Plum fans- plus, I might have an OCD
I was at Wally World last night and was doing some shopping and while I was perusing the junk food, I spied something special. So special, I squealed and jumped up and down chanting, "Oh My God Oh My God" while trying to dial my sister-in-law on my cell. There are 2 people (Hecate being the other but she was in class) in the entire history of the world that I knew I could call who would get this. And when Booknut answered the phone I practically screamed THE WORD: "TASTYKAKES!!!!!!!!!" It took about a nanosecond for her to scream back at me, "OMG TASTYKAKES!!!" Of course, I had to take a picture of the box and send it to her And for those of you who are crazy about Stephanie, here ya go!
And no, I didn't see Steph or Lulu lurking in the aisles, darn it! (And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I apologize because I try to never have an "inside joke" here unless it's among all my regular readers who are in on it but I couldn't help it this time, so just please keep reading!)
Whilst speaking of Wally World, I need to confess something. I'm the crazy Wally World lady. You know the one: I push my cart up and down the rows, muttering under my breath, trying to read signs, glaring at other shoppers to get the hell outta my way, clutching my list. I also find myself talking to myself as well. And when I talk to myself, I don't do it quietly. I find I talk out loud to the point where people look at me or think I'm "blue toothing". But I'm not. I'm just the crazy lady at Wally World.
Like last night, for example, I bought a package of soup mix and it was printed on the packaging "0 transfat" and I said, "Well, Auntie, how do you like that? I'm being healthy by accident. So there! HA!" and I chucked it in my cart. And other people were looking at me.
I also stood looking at a pastry display of fall treats asking "Where the hell is the pumpkin roll? Damn it, where IS it?" People clutched their small children to their breasts and fled the area, while a brave bakery worker asked me if I need help. I'm happy to report there was no little white jacked in her hands.
As I walked passed the Junior clothing department, I said, "Oh gee, look, the latest and greatest in slut wear for the 12 year old set." When I got to the body soap aisle, I bitched because I couldn't find it and when I did, I said, "What's aqua scent? Where's original? I NEED original! Shit!" People were staring!
I think the topper was when I was picking boxes of Puffs. I bought the kind with Aloe but not the kind with menthol in it "because I don't like menthol cigarettes so why would I want it in my tissues?" I proclaimed this loudly and clearly. People were trying to hide from me at this point, I think.
No, I'm not on medication but maybe I should be. I hate going to Wally World alone- this could be part of the reason. And I have no idea when it started, this talking aloud to myself on a regular basis. I seem to only do it when I'm in Wally World- no where else. Either living in a small town is getting to me or a huge corporate conglomeration is sucking the soul out of me each time I cross the threshold.
Oh well, now, at least, I'll have the TASTYKAKES!
Losing my sanity at Wal-Mart,
Maggie Mae
And no, I didn't see Steph or Lulu lurking in the aisles, darn it! (And for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I apologize because I try to never have an "inside joke" here unless it's among all my regular readers who are in on it but I couldn't help it this time, so just please keep reading!)Whilst speaking of Wally World, I need to confess something. I'm the crazy Wally World lady. You know the one: I push my cart up and down the rows, muttering under my breath, trying to read signs, glaring at other shoppers to get the hell outta my way, clutching my list. I also find myself talking to myself as well. And when I talk to myself, I don't do it quietly. I find I talk out loud to the point where people look at me or think I'm "blue toothing". But I'm not. I'm just the crazy lady at Wally World.
Like last night, for example, I bought a package of soup mix and it was printed on the packaging "0 transfat" and I said, "Well, Auntie, how do you like that? I'm being healthy by accident. So there! HA!" and I chucked it in my cart. And other people were looking at me.
I also stood looking at a pastry display of fall treats asking "Where the hell is the pumpkin roll? Damn it, where IS it?" People clutched their small children to their breasts and fled the area, while a brave bakery worker asked me if I need help. I'm happy to report there was no little white jacked in her hands.
As I walked passed the Junior clothing department, I said, "Oh gee, look, the latest and greatest in slut wear for the 12 year old set." When I got to the body soap aisle, I bitched because I couldn't find it and when I did, I said, "What's aqua scent? Where's original? I NEED original! Shit!" People were staring!
I think the topper was when I was picking boxes of Puffs. I bought the kind with Aloe but not the kind with menthol in it "because I don't like menthol cigarettes so why would I want it in my tissues?" I proclaimed this loudly and clearly. People were trying to hide from me at this point, I think.
No, I'm not on medication but maybe I should be. I hate going to Wally World alone- this could be part of the reason. And I have no idea when it started, this talking aloud to myself on a regular basis. I seem to only do it when I'm in Wally World- no where else. Either living in a small town is getting to me or a huge corporate conglomeration is sucking the soul out of me each time I cross the threshold.
Oh well, now, at least, I'll have the TASTYKAKES!
Losing my sanity at Wal-Mart,
Maggie Mae
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Runway to Heaven
There is some religious group in my community where the women wear long skirts, have really long hair and don't wear make-up. They don't wear any head coverings. Clothes don't look hand-made. They drive, have electricity and don't seem to have a huge plethora of kids. I have no idea what the religion is, and I really don't care actually, but it's the dress of the women that struck me.
There were a bunch of these women were at Wally World the other day (yeah, I seem to spend a lot of time at Wal-Mart. Just don't ask...) So anyway, I noticed that they all had on long denim skirts. All the way to the ground denim. They also had on tennis shoes. This, overall, was not a fashion statement of the good. It was not attractive at all. While the women were not necessarily ugly, these unbecoming fashion make them all look very, very short. And sort of stumpy. They were thin, but frumpy-looking. Is that the point?
Back in the Wild West I wore a long denim skirt, a pair of pink cowboy boots, a western shirt and a cool belt and I was looking stylish. I was "in"- I was cool. The more I looked at these women, the more I realized several things about myself.
First, I wanted to rush home and hem all my denim skirts short because I didn't want to be confused as a member of this religion, since I have a non-god issue. Then I thought about it. I could never be confused as a member of this religion because of several things. My hair is way too short- right now I'm sporting a very short pixie cut, short for even pixie standards, so my hair isn't long enough to either hang to my ass or put up in a HUGE bun. And speaking of ass, my ass is waaaaaaay to big to be a member of this church. I swear, ever single one of these women are tiny. Small. Thin. Skinny. There is no way I could belong since I have a fat ass, junk in the trunk, loot in the boot, whatever you want to say, I am just not skinny enough to be there.
And I have fashion sense, which is obviously missing here. I am not a fashion snob- I don't make enough money to be such, and I'm also not a perfect size 5 so not all fashions are meant for me so a fashion snob I am not. But I like to look nice and I try be neat and stylish. Not frumpy. I like clothes. And when I see these women they are always in really really long skirts, denim during the week (their answer to wearing jeans if they were allowed to sport pants?) or floral on Saturdays and Sundays- or dresses with really big flowers on them.
Do you think people with short hair are banned? Are fat people banned? Would I have to grow my hair and lose 25 pounds to join? What if I could make a big financial donation? I do own the long ugly denim skirt and have some tennis socks, after all. Do you think the women are given a brochure of clothes and hair dos and don'ts? Do you think they have a religious version of "What not to Wear"? OMG- I just can't see Clinton and Stacey hosting anything like this... And if this was catching on as a big fashion statement, then how come I'm not seeing a Versace or Armani "God Wear" or "Church" line of clothing?
I dunno. While I'm not religious, I really wonder if God cares what we wear. Is someone wearing a frumpy deim skirt, tennis socks with an ankle ball, no make up, hair to their butts and a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt going to get to heaven before a person in jeans and a Harvard t-shirt sporting eye shadow and loafers? It just seems to be a funny part of a religion to me.
Hey, I'm just sayin'!
Off to hem my skirts,
Maggie
There were a bunch of these women were at Wally World the other day (yeah, I seem to spend a lot of time at Wal-Mart. Just don't ask...) So anyway, I noticed that they all had on long denim skirts. All the way to the ground denim. They also had on tennis shoes. This, overall, was not a fashion statement of the good. It was not attractive at all. While the women were not necessarily ugly, these unbecoming fashion make them all look very, very short. And sort of stumpy. They were thin, but frumpy-looking. Is that the point?
Back in the Wild West I wore a long denim skirt, a pair of pink cowboy boots, a western shirt and a cool belt and I was looking stylish. I was "in"- I was cool. The more I looked at these women, the more I realized several things about myself.
First, I wanted to rush home and hem all my denim skirts short because I didn't want to be confused as a member of this religion, since I have a non-god issue. Then I thought about it. I could never be confused as a member of this religion because of several things. My hair is way too short- right now I'm sporting a very short pixie cut, short for even pixie standards, so my hair isn't long enough to either hang to my ass or put up in a HUGE bun. And speaking of ass, my ass is waaaaaaay to big to be a member of this church. I swear, ever single one of these women are tiny. Small. Thin. Skinny. There is no way I could belong since I have a fat ass, junk in the trunk, loot in the boot, whatever you want to say, I am just not skinny enough to be there.
And I have fashion sense, which is obviously missing here. I am not a fashion snob- I don't make enough money to be such, and I'm also not a perfect size 5 so not all fashions are meant for me so a fashion snob I am not. But I like to look nice and I try be neat and stylish. Not frumpy. I like clothes. And when I see these women they are always in really really long skirts, denim during the week (their answer to wearing jeans if they were allowed to sport pants?) or floral on Saturdays and Sundays- or dresses with really big flowers on them.
Do you think people with short hair are banned? Are fat people banned? Would I have to grow my hair and lose 25 pounds to join? What if I could make a big financial donation? I do own the long ugly denim skirt and have some tennis socks, after all. Do you think the women are given a brochure of clothes and hair dos and don'ts? Do you think they have a religious version of "What not to Wear"? OMG- I just can't see Clinton and Stacey hosting anything like this... And if this was catching on as a big fashion statement, then how come I'm not seeing a Versace or Armani "God Wear" or "Church" line of clothing?
I dunno. While I'm not religious, I really wonder if God cares what we wear. Is someone wearing a frumpy deim skirt, tennis socks with an ankle ball, no make up, hair to their butts and a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt going to get to heaven before a person in jeans and a Harvard t-shirt sporting eye shadow and loafers? It just seems to be a funny part of a religion to me.
Hey, I'm just sayin'!
Off to hem my skirts,
Maggie
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Camping on a beautiful day- why? Better titled: I hate camping!
I drove passed Wal-Mart last night and saw something strange. Go figure- a Wal-Mart in the middle of the Midwest, in a small town full of Rednecks and I saw something strange. I think it would be more miraculous if I said I drove passed and saw something normal. Okay, I digress- anyway. the something strange at Wal-Mart.
It was early evening, and darkness was falling. The parking lot lights had yet to come on. It was a great preview to summer- a beautiful breeze was blowing, it was in the mid 80s with a blue sky and fluffy clouds, with a nice warm sun shining. It was a great day.
So I'm cruising passed the Wally World and in the parking lot near the road was an RV. I guess it was a nice RV, the kind that is actually a bus looking thing, not the 5th wheel kind that you pull behind on your car, but is the RV and car combo. It was nice and clean looking. And it was a big one.
At first glance one might think the people were just stopping to get supplies, or pee or whatever people do at Wal-Mart. And it appeared that they parked away from the rest of the cars since they were huge and took up space.
But with closer examination, I think the owner maybe had other plans for his RV in the Wally World parking lot. Because he had the awning popped up, green AstroTurf laid out, lawn chairs and a grill set up. And he was adjusting his satellite dish.
Since when do people camp in the Wal-Mart parking lot? I mean, really? It's no secret that I HATE camping, but if I was a person who went to the effort of getting an RV which was that nice and I was in a community which had more than a dozen campgrounds within 15 miles, I would not be setting up shop in the Wally World parking lot. Isn't the point of camping bonding with nature, or some such shit like that?
And no, I did more investigating and it was not a "model" RV that was for sale. It was some dude who was CAMPING IN THE WAL-MART PARKING LOT!!!!
Personally, I just want to reiterate that I hate camping and nature. My idea of roughing it is a hotel that doesn't have room service. I don't like to hunt or fish. I hate dirt, mosquitoes and all other bugs. I see no purpose in cooking over a fire or sleeping on the ground or in a bedroom on wheels. I hate bees and other things that sting. I don't like to bird watch or chase butterflies. I thinking building a tent is stupid.
And camp fires? Come on, use matches to make a fire! What is this stick rubbing and rock clicking shit? I can barely read a compass let alone track something by the position of the sun. I am NOT peeing outdoors. I hate spiders and things that crawl. I am not much for hiking or mountain climbing. I want air conditioning, indoor plumbing, and a damn good martini bar. I do not like nature.
If Girl Scouts issued badges for shoes shopping, spotting a pair of Manolo Blahniks, or finding a great sale on a blouse, I am your woman. But this back to nature crap is...yucky.
I was totally into the idea of transcendentalism, and Emerson and Thoreau except for the nature part. Walden pond, my ass!
It isn't because I have to have my cell phone, laptop or a TV. That isn't true at all- give me a book and I am just fine. It isn't a technological thing at all. I just do not like nature or bugs.
There are some things I like about the great outdoors, but the list is really, really short. I love moonlight and lots of stars. I love watching the sun set. I like s'mores. I am good at sitting in a canoe and reading as I float down the river. I like riding horses, and I enjoy gardening, I might even plant culinary and medicinal herb gardens this summer. Okay- that is the short list, and see, I told you it was short.
Since I have the box set of Sex and the City, I was watching an episode where Carrie went camping with Adian. She realized she couldn't camp. As I watched that I laughed my ass off (and that's a lotta laughing) because she could be echoing me. I don't do camping. Anyone and everyone who has ever met me knows this. City girls just don't camp. Give me my Starbucks, my high heels, and my city noises because camping is just not my cup of coffee.
And to the dude in the Wal-Mart parking lot: you weren't camping either! Give up! Sell the RV and use the spoils to go back to the hotels, buy a $5 latte, surf the 'net using your fancy-shmancy satellite dish for a condo in Hawaii, because you weren't communing with nature in the parking lot, you weirdo! That was not camping!
Now that I have that off my chest, I need to go battle my way through the jungle like malls for Kohls is having a shoe sale... hmmmm, that sounds like nature!
Camping is for the birds- literally,
Mags
It was early evening, and darkness was falling. The parking lot lights had yet to come on. It was a great preview to summer- a beautiful breeze was blowing, it was in the mid 80s with a blue sky and fluffy clouds, with a nice warm sun shining. It was a great day.
So I'm cruising passed the Wally World and in the parking lot near the road was an RV. I guess it was a nice RV, the kind that is actually a bus looking thing, not the 5th wheel kind that you pull behind on your car, but is the RV and car combo. It was nice and clean looking. And it was a big one.
At first glance one might think the people were just stopping to get supplies, or pee or whatever people do at Wal-Mart. And it appeared that they parked away from the rest of the cars since they were huge and took up space.
But with closer examination, I think the owner maybe had other plans for his RV in the Wally World parking lot. Because he had the awning popped up, green AstroTurf laid out, lawn chairs and a grill set up. And he was adjusting his satellite dish.
Since when do people camp in the Wal-Mart parking lot? I mean, really? It's no secret that I HATE camping, but if I was a person who went to the effort of getting an RV which was that nice and I was in a community which had more than a dozen campgrounds within 15 miles, I would not be setting up shop in the Wally World parking lot. Isn't the point of camping bonding with nature, or some such shit like that?
And no, I did more investigating and it was not a "model" RV that was for sale. It was some dude who was CAMPING IN THE WAL-MART PARKING LOT!!!!
Personally, I just want to reiterate that I hate camping and nature. My idea of roughing it is a hotel that doesn't have room service. I don't like to hunt or fish. I hate dirt, mosquitoes and all other bugs. I see no purpose in cooking over a fire or sleeping on the ground or in a bedroom on wheels. I hate bees and other things that sting. I don't like to bird watch or chase butterflies. I thinking building a tent is stupid.
And camp fires? Come on, use matches to make a fire! What is this stick rubbing and rock clicking shit? I can barely read a compass let alone track something by the position of the sun. I am NOT peeing outdoors. I hate spiders and things that crawl. I am not much for hiking or mountain climbing. I want air conditioning, indoor plumbing, and a damn good martini bar. I do not like nature.
If Girl Scouts issued badges for shoes shopping, spotting a pair of Manolo Blahniks, or finding a great sale on a blouse, I am your woman. But this back to nature crap is...yucky.
I was totally into the idea of transcendentalism, and Emerson and Thoreau except for the nature part. Walden pond, my ass!
It isn't because I have to have my cell phone, laptop or a TV. That isn't true at all- give me a book and I am just fine. It isn't a technological thing at all. I just do not like nature or bugs.
There are some things I like about the great outdoors, but the list is really, really short. I love moonlight and lots of stars. I love watching the sun set. I like s'mores. I am good at sitting in a canoe and reading as I float down the river. I like riding horses, and I enjoy gardening, I might even plant culinary and medicinal herb gardens this summer. Okay- that is the short list, and see, I told you it was short.
Since I have the box set of Sex and the City, I was watching an episode where Carrie went camping with Adian. She realized she couldn't camp. As I watched that I laughed my ass off (and that's a lotta laughing) because she could be echoing me. I don't do camping. Anyone and everyone who has ever met me knows this. City girls just don't camp. Give me my Starbucks, my high heels, and my city noises because camping is just not my cup of coffee.
And to the dude in the Wal-Mart parking lot: you weren't camping either! Give up! Sell the RV and use the spoils to go back to the hotels, buy a $5 latte, surf the 'net using your fancy-shmancy satellite dish for a condo in Hawaii, because you weren't communing with nature in the parking lot, you weirdo! That was not camping!
Now that I have that off my chest, I need to go battle my way through the jungle like malls for Kohls is having a shoe sale... hmmmm, that sounds like nature!
Camping is for the birds- literally,
Mags
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