Friday, January 6, 2012

Ended the year with a date, started the year with a date...

Since the 2008, I've averaged 2 dates a year. Some of those dates turned into temporary long term relationships but those started with dates nonetheless and if I go back, I seriously average 2 dates a year.

In 2011 I dated ITSam for the first 10 months and then had the okay date on New Year's Eve day so I count that as 2 dates in 2011, even though I had a whole bunch of them with ITSam. Then I had another date on New Years Day, so one of my dates for the year is already over and done with. I have about 11 months and 3 weeks to have another one so I don't break my streak (though this is one streak I could break and live happily.).

I've been thinking about dating and it's weird.

I don't think I'm good at it and I don't like all the "get to know you stuff" over and over again because I just wait for it to fall apart and then when I do get comfortable and let my guard down and have fun, then it falls apart. I hate being judged and that's what dating is- people judging and sizing each other up. I hate that I feel like I can't be myself because I think I'm weird so others will. Someone once told me that if I found a guy who liked the things I did he would only be gay. Gee, there's a promising thought.

I also have no idea where to meet age appropriate men. No do not suggest the Internet. No, do not suggest bars. And we have already established that anyone with half a brain will NOT date at work; ever heard the expression "don't shit where ya eat"? I think it was made up for this instance specifically, no matter how gross of a saying it is. But I don't know where to meet people.

I don't feel like I MUST date but after spending a year with ITSam and I sorta liked having someone to spend time with and hang out with and someone who, for the most part, cared about my comings and goings and wanted to help me and see me and just loved me. So I guess I feel a little lonely, and sometimes out of sorts.

And now I know that sometime in the next 11 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days I'll be stuck having another date, unless I break the streak.

Debating it,

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