Saturday, September 3, 2011

Well, this is a disaster

So, Mac came home yesterday and it's been a disaster from the word go.

I got to the school at the appointed time and location and he wasn't there. I sent a text and waited. And waited. And waited. And then I called a couple times. Ten minutes later he finally called and said he didn't hear his phone and would be down "in a few minutes." I said it would've been nice if he paid attention to the time and could've been watching for me since his room over looks the parking lot. He then hung on me. Brat. So 5 more minutes go by and I call him again and ask what the problem is. Well, he said he was packing his stuff. I was so exasperated because he didn't have it done already since it was his plan to come home for 10 days- it was something that was NOT a last minute plan.

So he's talking to me on his mobile while he's on his way to the car and out the dorm door. He gets to the car and throws all his crap into the backseat and throw his wallet and ID and stuff into the front, then gives this big dramatic sigh and complains that the forms were gone that he was supposed to fill in to sign out for an overnight. I sent him back into find any RA or his RD to take care of it. He bitched about that and stormed off.

When he came back and we're pulling out of the parking space, he suddenly can't find his phone. Now, he had the stupid thing when he finally came down to the car the first time. So we go through the whole car- and I mean the whole car. We move every single thing and I even go through his laundry bag, item by item to see if he dropped it in there. No. We went through every single pocket of his backpack, checked under the car seats, floor mats, between the seats, I mean everywhere but still no phone. I ask if he's sure he didn't carry it back in when he went to fill out the form. He said he didn't think so "gawd, mom- I said I didn't! Jesus, don't you listen?" I told him to go look anyway. He did, muttering at me the whole way.

I checked the ground around the car, under the car, under the neighboring cars, and then I traced his path from the outside dorm door to the car. He was on the phone when he came out the dorm door and it was about 100 feet from the door to the car. It just was not there. He came out and said it wasn't anywhere inside. All he could figure was that he left it on the table where he filled out the form and now it was gone. He said someone either stole it or found it and will give it to him when he returns. He said some kid had $150 stolen from his dorm so it wouldn't surprise either us if it was stolen. Then he said "oh well, those things are cheap since it's a pay as you go phone. It was only $10 bucks."

That brought me up short because it was NOT just $10- it was a $60 phone and I paid for it. He said "oh well, I don't care." We never did find it.

Then on the drive home he proceed to tell me how much he hates the school. He LOVES this classes, his learning, the intellect, the classroom atmosphere- he loves the challenge and the learning. But he hates EVERYTHING else- it's too conservative, it's too Christian, it's too goody-goody, like everyone drank the Kool-Aid. He said everyone is bonding with each other but him- he said he's left out all the time and he thought college would be where he would meet people like him. He said he was just the weird kid there too, just like high school, because he said he's a liberal in a sea of conservatives and the kids judge him for it, right to his face. He said his roommate is the one who stole the money, he thinks, because he started buying new stuff the day after the money turned up missing. He said girls are superficial and think he's ugly. He said there he's the "fat kid" again, even though he's lost 60 pounds since January. He said I keep bitching at him to get a job but he said he's in class and chapel everyday until 1pm and then he said he has about 4 hours of studying each day and don't I understand that he has an intense class load and he needs to keep a 3.7 GPA and he can't work and study and I need to get off his back about it. The litany and list of venom just spewed on and on, one mile after another.

We get home and he chats amiably with his grandfather. Then he has to go to the doc for a physical and I suggest he tell the doc all the stuff he told me and he said he would. Meanwhile, the doc doesn't have a copy of his immunization records- it was never sent over from his pediatrician's office. So I had to call that office, speak to records, and then get Mac to sign a release form at the current doc. They then faxed it to the old doc and the old doc faxed the records. Which were incomplete- and no one knows why. So we had to call his high school and get a copy from them (in my state you have to prove current immunization upon entering HS). But the school can't release it over the phone- we were told we would have to go to the school and sign something. Which we couldn't do since it was 4pm on a Friday of a holiday weekend. Mac is obviously pissed and this is somehow my fault. Also, Mac had to give a urine sample but the lab was closed so they made him an appointment to come back and do it this coming Thursday. But he has classes so he thought I would just take the afternoon off work, drive 1 hour to get him, drive the hour back to doc to give the sample, drive him the hour back and then I could go home. And then come back and get him on Friday, the very next day, so he could come home for the weekend. That's not happening because I don't have the money to put in the gas tank for all that. Yeah, with the huge snit he was in, that went over "really" well--- not!

He was fine at dinner, just chatting, telling stories about school, and complaining.

After dinner he tried to reach friends on Facebook, since he didn't have his phone, and finally reached someone and he wanted some money- of his- that I had for him, but I didn't have it with me at that moment. So he threw a huge freaking fit about it, and said he wanted to go back to school at that moment. I said fine and started packing his crap in the car.

Then he said he was going out anyway and would leave tomorrow. I tried to talk to him reasonably and he was being a turd- I'll spare you the nasty details. Then he "sort of" calmed down and we talked until we could be "sort of" civil to each other.

He's going home today, in about an hour.

This sucked. I was so looking forward to him being here and I got foods he likes and rented movies he wanted to see. He and I had talked about it all week and then "bam" yesterday he became the King of Mean and here we are.

I'm so pissed and sad that at this point, I just don't care.

I thought it would be easier once he was at school. Boy, was I an idiot.



Curley said...

I have no words. I can't even form a come-back for that. Except to say that I know he's under alot of stress and its easy to take it all out on you, well, cause you're MOM and he can say anything to you and you will always love him. I have no advice on how to handle it other that what you did. Take him back to school.

Maggie said...

Isn't he a little shit? I love him, but today I don't like him very well. I suck as a mom.

Lilith said...

I worried about how someone as liberal as him would fare at such a conservative college.

Let's hope that the attitude is just from adjusting to a new routine and new surroundings.

sam said...

Hi Maggie,

Sorry to hear all that happened. I was wondering how he was going to fare at that school too. My heart hurts that those kids are mean to him. Maybe they need to go to chapel a bit more often.

Hopefully the attitude will go away soon.

He can't do the urine next Friday? Or at the clinic on campus?


Curley said...


Jimmie Earl said...

What Curley said...

Maggie said...

Lilith- this is going to sound dumb of me, but I didn't think if was as conservative and religious as it is. You know the small "religious" colleges around here, and not all of them are that "religious". I thought it would be similar... man, were we all wrong. Ugh!

And I hope you're right about the attitude...

sam/P- We're going to see if he can do the pee test at the campus clinic...

and I think Mac is just floored that "God" is shoved down their throats yet so many kids are mean and nasty to him and each other. He 's so frustrated with the hypocrite-ness of it all.

Curley & JE- thanks.

Bragger said...

Man, that sucks to have what is supposed to be a nice weekend turn out so crappy.

Do not, do not, do not, do not, do not let this be a reflection of your parenting skills. Parenting is nothing but blind luck. It isn't your fault.


Lily said...

Oh Maggie, I feel for ya. This sounds all too familiar to me. I think that at this age and stage it's all so overwhelming...the whole "life" thing. My daughter is my little hippie-chick and very liberal, though she's Christian. She ends up going to this super conservative school as well and is having almost the same issues. Somehow, we as moms just have to be there for them to bounce on. You are a great mom, and you're doing good. Hang in there.