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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Uncomfortable sport

I've decided that I'm profoundly uncomfortable at high school boys' wrestling matches. There. I admitted it.

The athletic director at our school asked me if I would operate the concession stand for him and I've done that twice, yes two separate occasions- and both times I'm just very uncomfortable with the entire process.

First, the one thing that bugs me and it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable is that wrestling scoring makes no sense to me at all. The ref (judge? umpires? official?) has to lay down on the ground and get mat level with the two boys to see what's going on. It has to do with pins and holds and how long, and how fast they extract and all that stuff. It makes no sense at all to me. I do not like to watch "sports" with impossible to follow scoring.

As for the rest of it... ewwwwwww! It's not the 2 boys grappling around on a mat together that bugs me. I don't really care about that, though I must say at a few points during some of the matches those guys got to know each other really well, with their hands and heads in very INTIMATE places on each other's bodies. Actually, that sort of makes me laugh because these are often the same boys who make "gay" jokes. I know they're not gay, but it's more of the irony of it all for me.

It also looks painful, with the mashing of their faces and all their other body parts against the mat and then held there for an undisclosed amount of time, up to at least 2 minutes. They circle each other and smack each other on the head and grab at each others hands before rolling around together and slamming and crashing into each other. Why call it wrestling- we might as well call it "bullying."

I am very uncomfortable with the little stretchy outfits they wear. All their junk it hanging out and outlined. Then the boys have to go around and "adjust" themselves. Repeatedly. And in front of everyone... well, in front of me. It's awkward and just a bit gross. When they're waiting their turns, they have their hands down their pants, apparently straightening their compression shorts (think SPANX for men) they wear underneath but it still looks like they're playing with themselves in public. They also have to take their shirts off and smack their naked chests and pull the straps of the body suit up, right before it's their turn, and then that involves more fondling of their man parts. The man parts which are outlined, highlighted, very visible--- it's all distasteful.

I was at a meet and a invitational and this is COMMON behavior. I thought it might be just one weird school or something but this is something that all the boys at all the schools do! What is up with this weird grossness?

I don't like the bully style and the almost naked of it all. I also am NOT impressed with the foul language of the athletes who are standing mat-side waiting their turns to wrestle. It's not my new found "anti- swearing" but it's more the "way" they swear rather than actually swearing itself that I find distasteful. I also think since they are athletes representing their schools they could clean up their mouths while little kids and old people and anyone else who might be offended are standing around.

And don't even get me started on how the boys try to stay in their weight class- binging, purging, water diets, over eating, plastic wrapping of the body. It's awful!

So between protruding penises, ugly uniforms, the bullying aspect, and their apparent need to cuss like sailors makes me very uncomfortable. I think it's not going to make me a "wrestling superfan."

Not a grappling groupie,
Maggie

9 comments:

Bragger said...

I am so with you on every single point you made. I'm a huge sports fan, but that one is right up there with cricket - not my thing.

Curley said...

I so totally agree with you. I remember when back in high school (yes, I can remember back that far), my cousin was in wrestling and he used to spit out his saliva to help loose weight. I have no idea how that would work. I would think it would just make him dehydrated.

Maggie said...

Bragger- thank you very much! And cricket? really? Also on the annoying sport list for sure!

Curly- spitting? oh that is sooooo gross! Pul-eez! Yuck yuck yuck!

Paul S said...

There's never been wrestling in schools here in the U.K. I'm glad to say, traditional sports like Cricket(Yes!),Soccer and Rugby Union are very popular though.
Like Bragger even though I'm a huge sports fan I've never taken to amateur wrestling although it's not as bizarre as professional wrestling and the WWE,why is that even shown on a sports channel!

Wiley said...

Hahaha... What's with all the weird grossness? Um, they're boys. Even when they're men, they're still weird and gross and stuff. It's a genetic thing I guess...

Less of the talk about cricket, thanks! It may not be the most exciting sport in the world, but as an Aussie I do feel it's my duty to defend it. Would be good if the Aussie cricket team could do the same instead of being owned by the English, but that's a whole 'nother story.

So, how about the fact that Greco-Roman wrestling (you know, the really gay version where one guy starts on his hands and knees with the other one seeming to um.. mount him) has no connection to either Greece or Rome? Yeah, I think there's a reason women don't tend to fall in love with wrestling.

Maggie said...

Wiley- i WAS going to write about that because in the matches, they start like that in the third round, or whatever it's called. Yes, gross. I just can't get past it!

And sorry about the cricket comments- us Americans get carried away! heehee!

Jimmie Earl said...

I take umbrage with Wiley's comment about grown men being "weird and gross and stuff." I take pride in myself, and don't feel like I am gross or weird. I try to dress neat most of the time, I don't belch or pass gas in public, nor do I scratch and dig in public. I also don't pick my teeth in public.
We can't be any worse than the women who get out of the car in a parking lot and have to pull their thong out of wherever it is lodged, and then adjust their bra straps. Talk about weird and gross. Just watch in a mall sometime and you will see women being weird and gross! It must be a gal thing.
JE

Maggie said...

Hey Readers- this is a comment from Shan that I accidentially deleted!!!

SHAN SAID:

HAHAHA!!!! I totally agree. It is completely disgusting in just those ways! :D

I lost you on my feed when I got a new computer(yay!)so I am catching up. ;)

Maggie said...

JE- okay! Battle of sexes, even on my blog- Whoduthought?

Shan- Thank you for cathing up! Missed you!