Saturday, January 8, 2011

Day 25 and Day 26 of the Truth challenge

In an effort to finish this truth writing challenge, and because I am just not feeling the writing right now, here are 2 days combined into one:

Day 25: The Reason You Believe You're Still Alive Today

I think it's because it's not my time. For whatever reason, I'm still here. Have I done stupid things that should've resulted in my death- well, probably. A poor driving moment, drinking way too much, walking in a scary part of town after dark-- all those things could've resulted in my death, I suppose.

The bottom line is that, as funny and wonderful fellow blogger Wiley would say, The big Chicken isn't ready to take me yet.


Day 26: Have You ever thought of giving up on life? If so, when and why?

When I read that I interpret it as a "have you thought of killing yourself" sort of question, and the answer to that is NO. I'm too much of a big chicken. I don't like pain. And what if it didn't work and I was half paralyzed or a vegetable or something horrid like that? Or if it didn't work, and I was fine, but everyone would know that I was the person to tried to commit suicide. I would also end up in jail if it didn't work. In the state in which I dwell, it's against the law to kill yourself. Punishable by jail time. And I don't want to go to prison. I don't look good in florescent orange or horizontal stripes.

Another way to look at this would be to just give up on life like become a hermit or disappear and become another person. There are times when I wished I had about cash to buy another identity and move away and become someone else. It's usually when I'm depressed about money and my life, but those moments are very few and far between, and so fleeting that I can't really remember a specific "when" those thoughts occurred. And frankly, when those thoughts do occur I get so wrapped up in thinking about where I would go, what name I would give myself, the job I could do, and the fake fantasy life I create, I usually forget to be upset.

Only 4 more days of this to go!


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