Thursday, April 9, 2009

Mac and the Bodacious Ta-Tas

As I have mentioned before, Mac is going to be 16 years old this coming Sunday, Easter. Mac and I are also pretty close and he tells me shit mothers do not want to know, nor should they know.

Take the other day for instance. We had 20 minute ride to the movie theater and he decided to take this quality time while I was trapped in the car with him to tell me about his sex life. Yeah- there is so very much wrong with that statement I barely know where to begin. And the only way I could escape this was to wreck the car or stab myself in the ear with the nearest sharp object- sunglasses.

Mac has girlfriend, who I now like to think of as "That Slut who's corrupting my baby!" He prefers I not refer to her as that. (Yeah so there is no difference in me saying that and Sam's Mother calling me a "shiksa" which I'm not so fond of) So after the cast party, he and The Slut WCMB went parking in HER car in a CHURCH parking lot. In the dark. At midnight.

I'll leave out some of the details, but the general gist that ya'll need to know is that 1)he didn't lose his virginity and 2) he was up close and personal with his first pair of boobs. Naked boobs, live and in person for him to touch- eeewwwwww!!!!

And Mac had decided he's a boob man. If a woman has a nice rack he could care less about legs, ass, brain, head, arms... He went on and on about how much he LOVES breasts and they are the greatest thing in the world. He wants to be in charge of bra models. He wants to work at Victoria Secret in the mall. He now is obsessed with knockers.

The day after his "close encounter in Chestville" with The Slut WCMB all he could think about were boobs. He said every girl he saw all day long at school had HUGE melons spilling out of low cut tops- and he was liberal with his praise in a school administration that lacked in enforcing the dress code. He said there were boobs EVERY-where. And he could no longer stand it when his platonic friend Em, who apparently had the best looking pair he's seen clothed, jumped up and down in front of him out of joy over what he had no idea because all he could see were large bouncing breasts. He has dubbed this the year of: TITTIE-PALOOZA 2009!!!!

Oh. My. Gawd.


Hecate said...

OMG, I think I am going to pee my pants from laughing.

Maggie said...

Hecate- after the shock of the information I about giggled myself to death!

Hecate said...

So is the encounter with the Slut WCMB the same as a chicklet? hehehe

Farrago said...

I'm sorry...was there a post here? I just seem to have my head filled with images of teenage boobage.

I think I'll have to read it again.

Maggie said...

Chicklet and That Slut are nothing alike... Oh gawd- are they? :)

Farrago- what is with men and boobies? ;)