Monday, March 28, 2011

I'm at a loss & I'm so angry I don't have words

Okay.......... some of you know this story and others don't. For the "dos" sorry for the repeat. For the "don'ts" well... here.

A few months ago I decided I wanted to be licensed to be a foster parent so when Princess was released in May she could be sent to live with me. I knew there were about 3494570431 things that could go wrong and stop the process but since it was a long shot it was worth taking.

I talked it over with her case -manager, who thought it was a good idea.

I talked it over with ITSam. He and I have talked about getting married so this was something that would certainly affect him as well. He was all for the idea.

I talked it over with Mac who was all for the idea as well.

I talked it over with Daddy-O who thought I was crazy and as long I wasn't going to foster her here at his house he was supportive.

Though all involved decided it would be a good idea to not tell Princess, she figured it out. She was VERY in favor of this idea.

I did some research online and talked to tons of foster parents and decided this is something I wanted to do.

I met with the people in the foster division of Alcatraz. I wanted to ask some basic questions. That meeting was extremely positive and I was given the huge green light with this idea. I got a stack of paperwork and signed up for classes. I was told that since we needed to meet a deadline of may 26, I could take classes as they were offered through them and then to get what else I needed Alcatraz would do individual one-on-one training to finish it up. COOL!

That took care of the issue of timing.

ITSam has to be licensed as well so he signed up too.

To be licensed together we had to be married by the time we got her. Okay, we decided that wouldn't be a problem and sort of loosely planned a small wedding that would take place at the end of April. Okay- check.

We knew we would need at least a 3 bedroom house or apartment. A guy at work said he had 4 bedroom house he would let us rent with a huge discount because we were going to be foster parents and he thought that was admirable. It was in the school district we wanted and we could move in mid- April. AND the guy who makes sure houses are foster care approved had been there said it was and doing the home study would be fine. Check!

Everything was falling into place until a few weeks ago when Princess's case manager call me to her office. She dropped the bomb that probation department in Princess's home county (her PO there) wants her in a placement in her own county so though they won't be reunified as a family, they can still have twice weekly meetings. Her PO wants her in an independent living situation or foster care there.

Well damn.

Yes, she should continue to foster a positive relationship with her mother and sisters. Yes, she should stay connected to her family. It sucks for me, for us, for Princess who so wanted to be with me.

Okay so she and I put on happy faces and think positive thoughts and focus on the good stuff about being there.

Then Friday night Princess drops the bomb. She was shell-shocked herself. he stupid case-manager casually mentioned that recently the PO sent an email that said after consideration maybe Princess should remain in this county so she could graduate from Alcatraz since she's academically successful and she could be placed in a foster home here.

Of course the witch of a case-manager said nothing to me about this and won't give Princess any other information.

I just can't believe this............. And I can't manage to write more here without coming unglued. I can't even talk about it without having a fit. I'm so mad, angry, furious, hurt, shattered, frustrated, ugh!!!!!!!!!!



Curley said...

So does that mean that you can't be said forster home here in this county? Or is there not enought time now? That would suck. But on the other hand if she is still here, you will be able to see her more often, right?

Maggie said...

Curly- not enough time now! grrrrrrr! And yes I will get to see her often if she's here but still! I wanted to be in charge of her, ya know?