Monday, March 21, 2011

Hold on loosely but don't let go Part 2

I'm irritated with ITSam lately. There are several reasons why. It's okay to love a person, probably marry a person and still be irritated with them, isn't it?

Smothered. That's the world I think of lately. I don't mind being with him and spending lots of time together but he's so close in proximity it's driving me crazy. He's always "touching" me. Hmmmm, that sounds a little X rated. What I mean is he likes to hold my hand, squeeze my shoulder, hug and kiss me, pat my hair and stuff like that. He even had to sit next to me on the couch all the time even when there's other furniture available. It's.... overwhelming most of the time. I think it's very nice that he likes to show affection but it's just too much to have it ALL THE TIME. I want to scream "back off" which will just upset him, and probably rightly so.

And it seems like lately we've spent an increased amount of time together. In all honesty and fairness, most of the time it doesn't bother me but lately it does. I just feel like there are some other things I want to be doing and can't because he's always there, hovering around.

In my head I think that if we're married and we have our own stuff all in the same place we'll be able to do our own thing. Right now I'm either at his apartment which is the king of all things bachelor pad, or he's with me at Daddy-O's house, or we're out in public. When I'm at home/ Daddy-O's I like to watch tv, but I also like to read blogs and surf the web. I like to read books. I like to work on mini projects. But when he's there I feel like I need to entertain him rather than leave him sit there on the sofa while I'm in another part of the house doing my thing. If we lived in the same house he would have his "do his own thing" stuff readily available, as would I.

I also feel like we are spending lots of time together. Again, most of the time I don't mind but just lately it's bugging the crap out of me. I actually made plans to do something with XRay Girl and he said I did it because I was mad at him. WTF?!? I realize he was just upset and we talked it out but... seriously?

He's a good guy and he's fun, nice, and all that stuff, and right now, he's always there. I need to re-adjust something but I'm just not sure what.

Or maybe I'm just having a fit of... relationship cold feet. Who knows?



Curley said...

Yes, I think things do change when you are living in the same place. Once you are past what they call the "honeymoon" stage.

Bragger said...

Maybe one of the things I like best about Hubby is that he doesn't smother me. He's not a real touchy-feely kind of guy.

Oh, and every now and then he goes off for the weekend on golfing trips. I like that about him too.

Jimmie Earl said...

Oh I remember the days when I would take vacation from work, and if we didn't go somewhere, I drove your mom nuts by hovering. Not intentionally, mind you, but after a while she would tell me to go find something to do and quit following her around from room to room.
It's important to give each other space, no matter where you are. Stress to ITSam that you have a "me space" aura around you and he has to ask permission to invade your space. I agree that if you had all your stuff in one space, it might be different. Does he even have a hobby? If not, he needs one. You might gently suggest he cultivate a hobby of some sort that doesn't include you.