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Monday, June 7, 2010

Almost ready to be nominated for a Darwin Award

Sometimes I am an idiot. Really. It's true. I can offer recent proof.

Right now in the Midwest it's very, very hot and very, very humid and very, very damp and rainy and just, well, icky all the way around. We have big black ants in the house right now. It doesn't matter how clean you are, in this sort of weather, this time of year, the big black ants are a fact of life.

Since there aren't any small kids or any pets around, I keep putting down ant poison called Tarro. Then I wipe off every available surface (and rinse dishes, etc) before I cook since the ants walked through and eat the Tarro and then walk across the counters to their nest/ home where ever that may be.

The other day I opened the dishwasher to put in the last of the dirty supper dishes and there were about 50 big black ants everywhere. It was so nasty and gross. So I thought I'd show them! Bwahahahaha- I filled the dishwasher with soap and sent them to their watery deaths!

But...

There's always a but...

But what I didn't quite think all the way through is... where are the dead ants going to go since they were trapped in the running dishwasher?

The answer is: ALL OVER THE DISHES. That's right, they died, they got blown apart and there were little pieces of dead ants all over the clean dishes. Where in the hell was my brain? To make matters worse, (Oh yes, worse) I had the heating element turned on to dry the dishes, so not only did I have dead ant body parts ON the dishes, they were BAKED on the dishes.

I ran that load of dishes through about 4 times and then finally washed about 3/4 of the stuff as I emptied it.

Sometimes I just don't have two brain cells to rub together. I should be the author of "The idiot's guide on how to dispose ants".

Dumbass,
Maggie Mae

Oh, and... Mac emptied the dishwasher without being asked on the second load of dishes, post dead ant body parts, and he asked me later what the black stuff was on the dishes. Instead of just NOT putting them away, he put them away "dirty". So we had to wash and rinse everything we took out of the cupboards for the next few days because of STRAY leftover body parts. Good goddess!

8 comments:

Jeanne said...

Good morning Maggie, I just left you a PS comment.

This story is hilarious and awful at the same time. I would have thought they would go down the drain. Lesson Learned. I hate those big black ants.
We too have had a few ants in the window sill of my kitchen. I use the same poison. It works!

Have a wonderful day.
Hugs, Jeanne

Curley said...

EWW! Sounds like time to buy a few Ant Bombs and fumigate the whole house. Of course you would all have to leave the house for about 4 hrs. I see a shopping trip to the big city in your future.

A beautiful Sinner said...

Ants are icky. We have a few in the house, and they are near where we cook. While I know everything is clean, and I check for any hitchhikers on any utensils and dishes, it's still creepy.

Curley said...

EWW! I think it might be time to bomb the house. As in those things you set off in the house then leave for about 4 hrs. You know like while you head for the big city for some retail therapy.

Bragger said...

Oh my....this made me laugh so hard. Just what I needed after a long, hot, HILLY bicycle ride.

Trust me, I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you. It sounds exactly like something I would do.

Martha said...

Ants are the bane of civilized life. That is quite an image there of dead ant parts on your poor dishes, blech. Thanks for stopping by for P.S.

Cheryl said...

Hi Maggie!!!

Ew!!! So glad we don't have that problem over here. There are ants, I mean. But not giant ants!!

Maybe you can put some kind of ant-proof moat around your house?

Honey said...

Black pepper... I use black pepper instead any pesticide to get ride of ants (even the big black ants). I kid you not... it really works. I had an old lady tell me about it and thought she was off her rocker but it works!

I put it down around the door frames, on the counters... anywhere that I've seen ants marching. I put it down in a nice line and for whatever reason it repels them.