The thing about love is...

that I don't know anything about love. I know what I think I want but I have no idea if that's realistic.

I do know some stuff. I know, for example, that there must be someone for everyone, or else people settle. Or they're desperate. I was at the video store last night and there was a couple walking in the door while I was waiting to check out. They were both really tall, like "take a second look at those really tall people" sort of tall. Then he was totally goofy looking. They were both a bit overweight, and with the extra weight and the height, they were sort of funny shaped. And she didn't have on a bra and was wearing a man's tank top undershirt (think "wife beater" style) and it was about 49 degrees out. Nipples the size of Texas. But my point it, the couple that looked like that, they still found each other. They were hugging and kissing on each other, and grabbing and giggling and laughing. It was nauseating. But somewhere out there the cosmos came together and brought these two each other.

I think what made my brain start working is the break up with ITSam. Princess and Mac were talking about him today, and how glad they were that we broke up. Other than both of them thinking he was a 'creeper' and that he had a dorky laugh, they also gave me an earful about his looked. They said he had a pointy head, and he scowled all the time. They said his ears stuck out. They also pointed out his gut and his man-boobs, and the large amount of body hair swirling everywhere; he had nasty back hair. I had no idea.... When they point it all out, I can see it (OMG- even the pointy head!!!) but why did I have to have two teenagers explain this to me?

Could this be why people looked at us oddly, sometimes, when we went out?

Yes, I know that looks shouldn't matter. But it does give one pause. I also think I'm no great shakes in the looks department myself. But both of these kids said I could do much better in the looks department with a guy as long as I don't want a super model. Okay. They think I am pretty enough to catch a guy who is at least "cute". Rather than someone like ITSam who they compared to a rat or Shrek.

The odd thing is that I never really gave it all that much thought. I have no idea what this says about me. I do know now that we've broken up with each other lots of people are asking or insinuating "what did you see in him". Some come right out and ask awhile others hint around but want to know the same thing.

This is one of those posts that I'm not sure of its purpose. I just strung all this together because it all happened yesterday and it seems there's some sort of lesson to be learned here, or something I should heed in my future dating. Or it's just the thoughts of a rambling single blogger.

Maggie

And while this had nothing to do with love or looks, here is the hat that I finished that's two tone. (For those of you who read yesterday, you know what I'm talking about.) I started with the yellow that's at the bottom, ran out of it, and finished it with the color. I'm actually liking how it turned out. I'm going to beg Curley to make (or show me how) a "pompom" to go on the top! I folded the bottom, giving it the "hat band" look but it doesn't have to be worn that way. it could just be pulled on and then the bottom with curl or roll naturally.

Saturday's random post

There's a tree stump in the neighbor's yard and from my spot on the couch it looks like the top of a human head, of someone bending over, so I have to pop my head up higher to make sure it's NOT a person, even though I know it's a tree stump.

I had a great idea for a blog post when I was sitting in Algebra I the other day and i have no idea what it was. i remember sitting there and mentally writing it, thinking it was an awesome idea but for some reason,I didn't jot it on paper and now the idea is gone- poof out of my brain, like socks from the dryer. I hate it when that happens. That's the awesome,cool post that was supposed to be up today.

I was going to see a theater viewing of the cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight but now I'm not. Instead I took Mac and a friend of his out to dinner which equalled the cost of the gas to the theater (a 90 minute drive one way) and the tickets. Choices. Damn choices. I knew when I agreed to let Mac go with Daddy-O and me to Northern Civilization, and then agreed to his friend, that my Saturday night Rocky Horror dreams would be dashed. I guess I'll just have to wait and have my Rocky Horror experience next year.

Some of the classroom teachers I work with have sensed my displeasure at working with this particular school. One let it slip that there's a betting pool on how long I'll stay at this job. She laid odds that I wouldn't come back after Christmas vacation. She said she'd share the pot with me if she won.

My calendar for the next 10 days is packed. I have no idea how that happened but I agreed to help with the Alcatraz school play for a week (they need adults backstage to make people shut up and I guess I'm good at that!), Mac's school play is in the next 10 days, I work my second job twice, I signed up to take a one evening scrapbook class, and I'm shooting pictures (yahoo a paid gig!) at a local high school dance! It all always seems to fall at the same time; things come in bulk. I'm not balking at the working part, though, because I can sure use the money. I have something every day.

I was knitting a hat out of the end of a skein of yarn and I ran out. I couldn't just go to Wal-Mart and get another one because I bought the yarn at Hobby Lobby and it was their name brand. So I had to make a trip to Hobby Lobby. When I did, they had no more of this particular yarn. Grrrrrrr! So I bought something else and now the hat is going to be two toned, sort of. I was knitting with a thick, bulk yarn so I needed at least the same sort of texture. This should be one interesting looking hat. Pictures will be forthcoming, even if it is ugly.

We have an idea but are we too old?

Mac and I are trying to decide if we're too old to go trick-or-treating. I think numerically, the answer is "yes" we are since we're 17 and 39, respectively, and certainly if you add our ages together 56, or average us out, 28. All those, numerically, say we're too old. BUT!

If we come up with a really cool costume idea and it would hide out ages, er...huh... our faces which would reveal our ages, can we still go trick -or-treating? For gods sake, will someone please just give me a damn bag of candy?

Anyway, for some reason, the last few years I've had this huge urge to find a partner in crime and dress in a really cool costume and go. I thought we could be a pair of dice, or pirates, M&Ms, or something.

I wouldn't care if I gave candy to grown adults or teenagers if they had really cool costumes. I mean, last year, I had some kids who just showed up at the door and looked at me with hands out. No costume, no bag, not even the words "trick or treat" so wouldn't it be okay if we were awesomely dressed and enthusiastic about the holiday? Shouldn't effort and creatively as well as attitude be worth something, like a miniature Milky Way or a popcorn ball?

Mac said if I could come up with something and he didn't have to dress like a girl, then he would go. On a side note, I think it's interesting that lately Mac is agreeing with just about anything I suggest. I've wondered if this has to do with the fact that in a year from now he'll be at school so he'll do just about anything to spend time with me. I guess with that in mind, we could stay home and pass out candy to the kids and eat Halloween themed dinner like "halloweenies" and .

But wouldn't it be so much more fun to go trick-or-treating?

If you have any last minute, make at home, do it yourself costume ideas, please let me know. I haven't ruled it out yet!

treat me,
Mags

Day 6- something you hope you never have to do

This writing challenge topic for the 30 days of truth just screams out "depressing." I never want to bury my child. Or live in a cardboard box. Or have a job where I ask "Do you want fries with that?"

I could think of other things, as well. I hope I never have to have anyone change my diaper when I'm old and gray. I hope I never sample my cat's food; for that matter, I hope I never have a cat. I hope I never have to see a dead body floating in the ocean. I hope I never have to see or hear Ruch Limbaugh again. I could get fairly gross, disgusting and morbid with this. What the hell sort of topic is this, anyway?

I hope I never have to fire a person from a job (unless I don't like them.) I hope I never turn to a life of crime (unless I could get away with it). I hope I never have to walk naked in public (unless I lose weight, get a body lift and am suddenly svelte and sexy).

I hope I never have to write a post about this topic again. But I was stuck for something for today. I want to write about my job hatred but I need to calm down rather than just verbally spew vitriol so here's the compromise.

Mother Nature was pissed off

Yesterday was a weird day, weather-wise. We had strong winds and it was very warm, unseasonably so- like about 80 degrees at 7:30 am. We had wind advisories and we were under a tornado warning. People were talking about it all morning, it was all over the weather, and we giggled over it when the radio DJs made fun of it on the radio on the way to work. I live in the Midwest where we have "tornado watches" as often as people need air to breathe- yes, all the time. Tornadoes didn't always happen but we sure were warned all the time. Hell, in my hometown, if the wind blows hard, the town sirens tornado sirens go off. Yes, it's become the town joke. Until today. About 9:30 am, something weird, something a little scary happened.

The school secretary came over the PA system and announced that we were supposed to take our students to our "tornado stations." They did not use the tornado alarm like we have for a drill. instead she came over and in a very shaky voice, told us to get there and, basically in not so many words, to be quick about it. In my school system, if we're having a tornado or fire drill, the faculty and staff get an email in advance. There was no email. Shit.

We have to take kids to interior rooms (no windows, no outside walls) and sit in "duck and cover" positions. So I'm there with my classroom teacher and 29 seventh graders. We're also joined by 23 HS students and their teacher who are taking Spanish- Mac happened to be in that class. I was in lock down with all those kids and Mac, thankfully.

We're all sitting on the floor, waiting. At first the kids were quiet and just looking at us and asking us lots of questions. Then they started laughing and talking. The principal came in and talked to one of the teachers in our room and when she came in , the three adults conferenced. This was NOT a drill, the teachers were quietly told. The kids are all sitting on the floor, all the way around the perimeter of the room. The lights are on dim and we finally turned a movie on, to settle them. After about an hour of listening to it storm and howl, and trying to show a movie, the power goes out.

Here we are with all these kids, in a completely dark room- the emergency lights did NOT come on. Black as pitch. I had 7th grade girls locked onto my legs and arms, some girls in the room were quietly crying and otherwise, it was dead silent. Mac quietly says above the din, "Mom, are you okay?" And I say yes, which seemed to make other kids cry. Finally I got my cell phone out of my pocket and flipped it on. Yes, I broke the damn cell rules but in a room that is totally black, with crying kids, about 52 freaked out kids, I didn't care. The teachers in the room actually told anyone who had a phone could take it out and shine the light. One of the 7th graders asked if the First Aid kits had flashlights and lo and behold, it did! (Good thinkin' 7th grader!) A science teacher opened the classroom door and handed in a candle. Then the wind really picked up.

Some kids were crying again but otherwise it was quiet IN the room. The weather was thundering, lightening, blowing like never before. Then it just became quiet. very quiet, inside and out. For anyone who has ever been in a school building during the day, it's never quiet. There's always "noise" of some kind. This was especially eerie because we had a building full of 600+ kids and faculty and it was silent- dead silent.

Finally we get an all clear. The principals came door to door to tell us. Because we still had no power, the two classes were to stay together and we were released to room with windows. It seemed the "tornado danger" was over. We all get into a room and are looking out the windows and we had lots of downed trees and branches but still no power. It's now about 11:15 a.m.

What do you do to break the tension of all the kids who had been locked up for about 2 hours, mostly sitting on the floor in fear, in the dark? With no air conditioning (teenagers are smelly but add them packed in like sardines and then the smell of fear... well, it was gross!)? Well, sing of course. Mac is giving me a huge hug and I could tell he was just freaked out. I started singing quietly in his ear, "sing, sing a song, make it simple, let the world sing along, sing of happy not sad, sing of good things, not bad." He started giggling.

Then he had AN IDEA! The upperclassmen, led by MY SON started a sing along and got the kids singing and dancing; it was a mini concert. Mac did a Journey song, "Don't Stop Believing", "I'm Yours" and "Hey There Delilah" by Jason Mraz, as well as "My Girl" by the Temptations.. We were having such a good time, two other classes came in with ours and started singing and clapping. Mac took all the solos... he is such a character. He cracks me up as well as everyone else, for that matter.

The long and the short of this tale is that we had an early release at 12:30pm. Yahoo for a half day!!!! (I HATE this job so anything that gets me out is GOOD!) It's hard to believe that happened early in the day because by 3pm it was sunny and clear with a light breeze. And dropped about 25 degrees- it was about 55!!!!!! We didn't blow away but the building had some rain damage and some wind damage, I guess.

I was so very impressed with the kids. It was utter and total chaos with lots of fear and they held it together. When it was over and done and the school was trying to get lunch organized, and buses and early dismissals and crazy scared parents, the kids were awesome and behaved and did what they were supposed to do. I was really proud of the kids.

And in the community, apparently, Wal-Mart here in town was hit by the tornado, as was the local Kroger grocery store. Furthermore, about 1/2 of the county was without power and all the fast food places and schools and a bunch of businesses had to close for the rest of the day. The hospital had people in the basement and it was just a mess. It will be interesting to see the newspaper today to see the rest of the fall out.

Maggie

Day 5- Something you hope to do in life

I guess I better get back to this 30 days of truth. I've been dragging my feet on this topic. I could've plowed through a bunch of others but this one had me stuck. I'm not feeling super optimistic in life right now so this one is just causing me conniptions. It's forces me to be cheerful and happy about myself.

I want to go to Italy, and would like to spend the entire summer there.

I want to go to England, and back to Ireland, and since I'm there, I would also like to stop in Scotland and Wales. And maybe live there.

I hope to live beside the ocean. In Seattle or in New England. I'm not picky, either one would do.

And if you want a realistic list, I would like to get a full time job with health benefits and paid vacation. I'd like to have an office. I don't want to work with kids, I think. I'd also like to just work from 9 to 5.

Okay, so there's the "hope" post.

Maggie

You know it's time to shave when...

Mac can grow a beard. I don't mean a little chin stubble but a BEARD. He has a 5 o'clock shadow by 10am. I'm not kidding. And it's not just a little chin hair but it comes in all over his face. He could give Grizzly Adams a run for his money.

Mac does get a little lazy and hates to shave so he won't. He might trim it up a little or he might just let it be unruly. But he does have some serious facial hair. I don't know how many times waiters and waitresses have offered him "something from the bar" without ID-ing him when we've been out to eat. The beard does add some age to him.

Now that being said, he and I were at dinner the other night. We decided to do a late night IHOP run. We do this ever so often; just go eat a super late dinner or a super early breakfast at 2 am. He and I were sitting and chatting, laughing and having a good time. We chatted with our waiter and made fun of other people in the restaurant.

The waiter asked us if we wanted coffee or pie, and Mac said, "Can I, mom?" And the waiter asked, "He's your son?!?" I said "yeah...?" And the waiter said, "I thought he was your date, or something."

When we got home, at 3 am, Mac shaved.

Mags

Watching movies should be easy

I'm a bit weird (read: OCD), for sure. I've know this for a long time, but there are moments of "clarity" when I see how bad I actually am. For example...

I have a movie blog called Reel Reviews 2010. I don't think anyone ever reads it but me, but that's okay (even though it has a freakin' super cool template). I'm a list maker so it suits that need. I'm also one who likes number goals. As the year has progressed, I decided I wanted to make sure that by Dec. 31 at midnight that I've watched 200 movies. That wasn't my goal at the beginning of the year but because I taught those movies classes this summer, my numbers are waaaaay up so this is an attainable, and should be fun goal.

There is a week left in October and I need to see 4 more movies this month to stay on track of my goal of 200. Right now I've watched 176 movies for the year. I need to see 4 more this month, and then 10 in Nov. and Dec. each to come to an even 200.

Let's further add to this. I use the labels feature that blogger provides and I happened to be bored at work the other night (at my second job, not at teaching) and I was looking at all the labels. I noticed that I had watched 7 Tom Hanks movies, 6 Morgan Freeman, 5 Nick Cage, and 8 Johnny Depp movies. So I decided that I wanted to round all those guys off to an even 10. So of the 24 movies I still need to watch, I have to see 3 Hanks, 2 Depp, 4 Freeman, and 5 Cage films.

To take my OCD just one step further, as if I'm not insane enough, I was looking and I watched Toy Story 1 and Toy Story 3, but not two. So one of my Hanks movies' has to be Toy Story 2 so I've seen them all. I need to do that with National Treasure 2 since I saw the first one. Same with Angels and Demons since I finally saw DaVinci Code.

And I know if it all doesn't happen this way, I will actually be slightly freaked out and upset. So I'll obsess about it until I get it done. I even went so far to make a list of possible Depp, Freeman, Hanks, and Cage movies I could watch to fit my needs. (I'll spare you the list...)

Oh yeah.............. I'm normal. Right. Completely.

Maggie

PS- feel free to join the movie blog to follow my progress, if you want!

Pink Sunrise on Pink Saturday

I got to school the other morning and the sun was coming up and it was so beautiful so I tried to capture it here. What a lovely way to greet the day! I love the shadow of the trees and all the textures of pink in layers. And I was excited to see I caught the birds in the last shot.

Thank you to Beverly at How Sweet the Sound for hosting Pink Saturdays.

Please visit fellow pink blogger Jacqueline at Purple Chocolate Home. Her blog is so classy looking, and creative. She has so many wonderful ideas and great pictures!

In Shoes We Trust,
Maggie Mae

Confession time

Okay, so I hate to admit it but I'm going to... I'm a bit messed about over this whole "break up with ITSam" thing.

It's not that I want him back and it's not "if I can't have him no one can" thing either- certainly not that. And I know I was going to probably break it off myself, before he beat me to the punch.

I think it's a few things. One, I went from seeing him every single day to nothing. That's weird. It would be a bit normal to feel a little lonely after all that togetherness, right? Even though at the time I felt a bit smothered it's been almost two week and I still think if we had slowed down I would've been okay. So I think I just miss him because he was a habit, I think. And most of the time I did like spending time with him and having someone to go out with of the opposite sex, to be treated nicely. That was good.

The other thing that has me bummed is that since he's on a dating site and I would assume he's communicating/ dating/ hell, he's probably married to someone by now. What that means is that I wasn't anything special to him at all. I was just a person who gave him attention, that he could tolerate, that filled a void. As Mac said, in summary, was that Sam's drug of choice was not being alone so he would desperately try and hook up with someone. He said, in essence, Sam's addiction was women, but not for sex, but to save him from himself, from being alone. Damn, I have a smart kid. So all that talk of marriage and love and being his one and only was really just that... talk. I wasn't special or the love of his life.

It's just that... it was nice to "feel" that way or to think I was like that.

Everyone kept telling me he was "nice". That was the word used over and over again. And he is nice, but messed up, too. It still doesn't make me feel any better. This proves that nice guys still suck and that I'm just... not worth it. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

I just feel bad about it all.

Maybe it's messing with me that I will probably see him at work tomorrow. I figure he'll try to talk to me, and I'm going to flat out call him on the dating site thing, or he'll ignore me, or worse... he have his new "girlfriend/ date/ fiancee/ wife/whatever she is" pick him up and I'll get to see that, which would suck. Maybe I should warn her. Maybe he'll be mature and just ignore me and not even come that direction. Could I get that lucky?

Maybe it's because the jeweler called and left a voice mail for me (on Thursday afternoon) that my engagement ring was ready to be picked up.

I know that when it comes right down to it, it doesn't matter, he won't change, I'm probably lucky this ended, and I'll be fine going back to being alone again. But right now it doesn't feel fine.

Maggie

"Classic" advice from my readers, please...

I've been thinking about books for next year. Sort of my own advanced planning. I just finished reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and I really enjoyed it so it propelled my brain into thinking and planning.

I used to always read the exact same genre of books. I was a fan of female contemporary sleuths and usually they were part of a series. For example:

• Stephanie Plum by Janet Evanovich
• Sharon McCone by Marcia Muller
• Kinsey Millhone by Sue Grafton
• Goldie Bear by Diane Mott Davidson
• China Bayles by Susan Wittig Albert
• Cat Marsala by Barbara D'Amato
• Carlotta Carlyle by Linda Barnes
• VI Warshawski by Sara Paretsky

And the list could go on and on and on. Then I would read just mysteries or hunt for more women detectives by women authors.

Over the last 10 years I've started expanding my reading and I still read a few of those authors, a very few, but I have certainly diversified my reading materials. I love books with a comedic twist and dark humor (Chris Moore or Jonathan Tropper come to mind). I also like something with a bit more intellectual challenge. Daddy-O says I like smart books, or something like that. I want my brain to be stimulated. I find that fun. I read plenty of crap (like James Patterson) because too many 'meat and potato' books needs a balance with 'cotton candy' for the brain.

I am NOT a fan of chick lit, though I do find myself reading one on a very, very, rare occasion- usually I get suckered in and I find out about half way through it's chick lit. I don't usually ready anything that's going to terrify me, like Stephen King, though I completely respect the man as a writer and his talent. (On Writing is one of the best books I've ever read.) I used to avoid Oprah recommendations like the plague because they were usually so tragic with no redemption. I don't mind something heavy and serious but I need to have something redeeming happen to characters at the end. And redemption doesn't always mean a happy ending, either. I also hate romance novels and historical romance.

Last year I decided I wanted to read more non- fiction. Fiction as always been my "thing." I read some memoirs last year and decided I wanted to bring more non-fiction into my reading life. I decided in 2010 I would read a minimum of 12 non-fiction books. So far, I've read 11 and 1/2. The half comes from the book War. (It was so emotionally hard for me to read, I just couldn't get all the way through it, though Lord knows I did really try.) I have to read one more to make the goal and I have several that I'm looking at (a few memoirs and Me, Katherine Hepburn's autobiography that I'm chipping away at.) I'm going to try and surpass that goal and read at least 15 non fiction books in 2011.

Now, here's the other thing. You would think as an English teacher I would've read more classics over the years but I really haven't. I've read my fair share, of course, but there always seems to be something that is missing from my "literature" education. SO!!! In addition to my non-fiction goal, I decided I wanted to read 10 classics. But I have no idea where to start. I was hoping that you, my wonderfully well read readers, would be willing to give me lists and lists or suggestions of what you think are "classics" that I should read because ... well, you decide the because. Please, either in my comments or shoot me an email, what do you think I should read next year? titles please (authors would be good, too) and if you want to give a brief "why I should read these (this) book(s)" I would really appreciate it. I'm trying to get a good list, so your suggestions are necessary!

I appreciate your help in expanding my literary horizons!

Mags

(By the way: I have book reviews with a virtual book club here at Read Any Good Books Lately?, and the same reviews appear on my personal book blog Turning Pages. These are all the reviews of all the books I've read this year! But on Turning Pages I also write stuff about books... like this post... and my bibliophile lifestyle; hence the need for 2 blogs about books.)

Fall Break

I am so glad that we have 2 days off this week. In my system, we have a "fall break" so I don't have school tomorrow or Friday. Thank the gods.

Originally Mac and I were going on two college visits but both of us agreed we really needed the vacation. We just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. I have to work at the reception desk second shift on Friday and Saturday so I'm thrilled Mac wanted to bail. I can now have all day Thursday and Sunday to do whatever I want. And I am.

My big plan is to do nothing and laundry. I might read or scrapbook or quilt or sleep or blog or read blogs... Just a bunch of nothing is the main point, though. Curly and I are taking Princess to see Rogers & Hammerstein's musical of "Cinderella" on Sunday afternoon. Otherwise, Ii have nothing planed except to veg out.

Today also marked the end of a school quarter so Mac got a report card. I'm so proud of him- 5 As, and 2 B+s- whoot- whoot! I also had parent teacher conferences where I played the role of the parent and it's amazing to hear such great things about him: especially his enthusiasm and his energy and to hear how smart he is.

Tonight Mac and I are going to Southern Civilization to see Princess dance in a recital. Apparently, some dance studio gives 5 or 6 or the Alcatraz girls free dance lessons and tonight is a performance. We're going to watch her do her thing. Then I'm going to come home, shut off the alarm clock and phone, and head to bed.

Mags

Dodged a bullet?

So ITSam and I have been splitsville for a week and a day now.

Over the course of the last week, he's called and text me (misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!) over and over and over again. Oh yes, and don't forget the emails (did I mention the misspelled words and poor grammar in said texts, which drives the English teacher in me nuts!!). He professes his undying love for me- over and over and over again. He tells me he loves me, he wants to get back together, he begs, he cries, he waxes poetic about how great we were together, how it was a mistake to end it, blah, freakin', blah. I spend my time trying to not respond to any of it. And I have three email addresses so that's tough! (I thought about posting some of his texts and emails here and hosting an audience participation game. You could all respond for me and the best response gets a prize..... too much meanness from me to do that?)

I have spoken with him once. And that was when he was sobbing and blubbering and begging me to take him back- last Wednesday night. he made it all of two days. The creepy part was when I said no and was ready to hang up and he used a nasty voice- from tearful to evil in 1.2 seconds.

I also got a few nasty (mean) texts from him but I was nasty back.

It was pretty quiet over the weekend. He didn't contact me at all, minus one "miss you" text to which I didn't respond.

Here's the funny part: he's been telling me he loves me and wanting to get back together, reminding me he loved me so much he wants to marry me, BUT I found out that he's registered on an online dating site and has been active on it daily!!!!

Can you feel the love?

I read his ad and it's fairly accurate. I could add something things to the list though, but I bet it wouldn't garner him dates if ladies read: "has erectile dysfunction, been evicted more times than I can count on my fingers and toes, was arrested once for stalking ex-wife, son probably belongs to another man, I lie often, and am so desperate for a relationship that I just dumped my 'almost fiancee' 8 days ago but am on a dating site now. " (I could add lots more to this list but... I won't do that here. I think I'm being publicly mean, just enough. More would amount to me being a first rate "bitch") He went from get married to a dating site in less than 8 days. Wow.

Now I know why I haven't heard from him: he's got all his online dating emails and women to chat with instead of me. I hear you all sighing in relief.

When I said I felt he was a man who was so desperate to be loved and to be in a relationship that he would "love" anyone, I think I was right. I told XRayGirl this the day after he said "I love you" the first time and she thought I was being cynical. When I told her about the emails/ texts/ calls and then this dating site thing, she admitted she thought I was right. She also said, "You dodged a bullet." Ain't that the truth.

The one thing that has me just a little freaked out is that when I told my Photographer Friend she said I should make sure I'm safe. She "stalker" thing has her bothered and she said she "got a weird vibe" about him regarding that. His office at Alcatraz is in the same building I close at night when I do my night receptionist work. She's worried about me being there at night in case he would be. Now that seed is planted in my brain and I'm now the aforementioned a little freaked out. I honestly don' think he'd do anything to me, but I guess that what Ted Bundy's girlfriends thought. I'm not sure if she planted a seed that worries me or if I should legitimately be worried. I also work this coming Friday night.

And this is why I don't date. Some of it really has me sad, sort of; maybe disappointed. At one time I thought I would like to be friends with him, but that cannot obviously happen now. And it really is a bummer to know he didn't really love me- who knows if he really liked me even?- that he only needed (wanted?) a warm human to hold, regardless. I wasn't special, I was just there.

By the way, if he DOES call me and profess his undying love again, I plan on asking him how he can love me and want to marry me AND be on a dating site. Unless you give me some clever ideas of things I should say instead...

In the long run, regardless, I'm glad it's over,
Maggie

PS- geez, I just re-read this post and I see I gave you all sorts of homework assignments in here... (or you can see I asked for all sorts of advice...)

Day 4- Forgiving someone else

Today's topic in the 30 days of truth is "something you have to forgive someone for." Well, I can't really think of anything. Other than issues with my ex about my son, and that doesn't call for forgiveness but either bullets or lawyers, I don't really go around harboring a lot of ill will toward others. I just don't feel like I need to forgive anyone for anything. I don't feel angry at anyone or like I have grudges or regrets, other than Day three's mention.

Guess this one wasn't very hard. Sort of lame. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe I should change it up a little bit. For example:

• I could forgive ITSam for sending text messages with misspelled words and grammar errors to an English teacher. Here's an example: "I know you busy this next few weeks. I hope everything go well and your safe." While Daddy-O always says "you can't fix stupid" but I guess that means I could forgive it.
  

• I could forgive Robin from Wal-Mart for... well, she would obviously fail a lesson about fruit.
  

• I could forgive the gods and goddess for not making life like a movie and not offering up a soundtrack. (this is one of my favorite posts....)

Well, four down and only 26 more to go.

Maggie

And by the way...

This has nothing to do with forgiveness but it's just a lovely view on our school campus.

Big Weekend...

Big Mac:
Friday night was senior athlete night at Mac's school. All of the seniors, male or female, who participated in any sort of sporting event, were recognized. All parents of these kids were escorted onto the field with them, in front of the crowd. It was pretty cool and I was really proud of Mac. One more step of reality that he's a senior and will be graduating. *gulp*

Big Crafts:
Annually, a craft show is held here in town and XRay Girl, Curley, Curley's Sister, Daddy-O, Princess and I all went. It was lots of fun but there were HUGE amounts of people every where and tons and tons of things for your home, jewelry, clothes, candles... everything people make themselves. There were over 100 booths. If you like to decorate in "Country" or "Rustic American" is certainly a place for you. But there's other stuff, like soap even and art work and just something to appeal to everyone. It was a good time had by all. I think I bought a candle for me because the smell reminds me of the non evil Grandmother's bathroom- like a flower garden.

Big Chili:
Daddy-O and XRay Girl bailed on the chili- XRay Girl because she had to work- but the rest of us forged ahead and with about 10,000 other people, we tasted chili for charity. After about 5 types I was done. I don't like chili all that well to begin with but since it's for charity I didn't mind at all. The booths are decorated and people dress up so the name of the chili and the booths all have themes. One school had "No chili left behind" which had a yummy, non spicy, thick, white chili that was almost like a stew. It was my favorite. Part of the process is paying a fee to get into the event. After paying, you get 10 tickets and you can vote on your favorite chili, booth, theme, whatever. You walk around with a spoon and sample over 75 kinds, choosing what you want to eat or not.

As I said, I gave up after 5 kinds, but Princess was a champ and tasted about 3/4's of the kinds there. It was so crowded that the four of us split up and we met back at the end; great that is was crowded so there was more money raised for the 7 charities. People also have toppings for the chili and lots of places were giving candy, ice cream, Popsicles, etc. to help cool and cleanse the palette. There were also a couple of drink concessions stands, a place selling kettle korn and elephant ears, and a beer tent, of which I didn't partake.

Princess had never done this before and she thought it was awesome. She also discovered she hated white chili. We laughed and ate our way around. It was cool.

The weather was great, too. Cool with a little breeze. Just a perfect fall day, with the leaves changing. We were all in long sleeve t-shirts and jeans, which was comfortable. It was a very good day.

Big Dress:
So Alcatraz has a winter ball in November and Princess gets to go. Over the years, apparently, people in the community have donated dresses for the girls to wear. The dresses be ball gown length- yes, to the floor, which I think is a good idea so the girls can't have mini dress/ cocktail dresses. the problem: these donated dresses get stored in a big closet and used over and over each year. The dresses look like something I wore to prom. Or dresses from the 70s. Not good. Princess found one that wasn't too "hideous" and didn't look like as much like "curtains with glitter" as some of the others. BUT, I know someone who wore a pink princess, Cinderella style dress to her prom and they are the same height and almost the same size. And this girl is going to loan Princess her dress, which is her dream dress. I had one VERY happy kid on my hands, jumping around, going happy crazy!

Big Lazy:
After yesterday, I plan on being a big lazy slug today. I'm going to do laundry and laze around the house. I have a novel to finish reading. I'm just going to chill.

Mags

Day 3 of the 30 day challenge: Forgiving myself

I need to forgive myself for letting Mac move in with his Sperm Donor when he was about 9 years old.

I hated that happened and I regret every moment he was there. I wish I could do it over. And I can't seem to forgive myself for letting it happen, not fighting it, not... stopping it.

The details are really not important and it was a long time ago but I can't seem to forgive myself for it.

I don't like this 30 days of truth. Why did I think this would be fun? Maybe I should start changing the topics to something I like better.

Mags

College #1- Rock Star Treatment

I love the upper echelon of academia. Today Mac and I visited the first of his college choices. For those of you who are not familiar with the States post secondary school system, we have 4 year Universities which are, for the most part, the same as a college. You can get a 4 year professional degree from both types of schools.

Mac wants to go to law school, but he has to do a 4 year program before he can go to law school. He's looking at 1 state university and then 4 private colleges. He's thinking of an undergraduate degree with a double major in international politics and pre-law.

He was treated like a rock star today at College #1. When we arrived we were warmly greeted and offered continental breakfast and he was given a college t-shirt. A student ambassador took us to chapel (this is a religious based school) and then we were able to sit in on a political science class. After class we had lunch and a campus tour. Mac and I then met with the Pre-Law/ Political Science Department Chair and capped the day with a meeting with financial aid.

I was very impressed and they should be applauded at how they sell their school. It has everything Mac is looking for in a school so it's a top choice. He also wonders if the other schools will "wow" him like this one did.

As a parent, I was impressed with everything, but I know that's the job. But here's what the admissions departments can't control: the student body. They can't tell them all what to say and how to behave. And I was impressed with the students: how they interacted with each other, with professors, and their own personal behavior. This school has an emphasis on faith and learning and then carrying the both ideas into the community and work place. From what I observed, it seems to actually "take." This is a campus for a Christian. There is no room for non-believers here. And I certainly have no qualms about this. It's a choice and if it makes Mac happy, then I'm happy. I can see him fitting there, and being quite happy.

Because it's a small school, he will have an opportunity to be a "big fish in a little pond". There are opportunities for internships at the local, state and federal level in politics. He could be hired to be a Teaching Assistant or a Research Assistant for the Political Science Department- and this is as an undergrad. He could be an active participant in the Student Senate. He could realistically be a real mover and shaker. He also knows he wants to immerse himself into politics but he knows he wants a stress reliever like theater or band or vocal, which he would have a chance to do.

Today, Mac held his own in a conversation with the department chair and the man told Mac he would certainly remember him and hopes to see him on campus in the fall because his department can "certainly use people" of his "caliber". Mac and this guy ended up talking about imperialism in Burma as well as the historical importance of literature like Frankenstein. Yeah. This was supposed to be a causal meet and greet, let the dept., chair "sell" his program and he and MY kid get into an intellectual discussion, which ran over the allotted 20 minutes, into an hour, to the point where the Financial Aid department called the Prof to see if we were still there. My kid WOWed them right back. I was so proud of him I about burst. Not kidding, there were almost bloody pieces of Maggie all over the place...

I'm so proud of the person he's become and the one he's continuing to evolve into. I'm honored to be his mother.

This post was really going to be about me waxing poetic about my love of the atmosphere of colleges and I was going to parallel Rock Stars to our treatment today. I like the direction this post took instead. I can do the other stuff later.

Mac's Mom,
Maggie

Goin' to the chapel and she's gonna get married...

Last night I went out to dinner with a friend of mine from Alcatraz and she was catching me up on all the gossip. And we just chatted about life and such. She also told me all about her new, personal good news! She got engaged on Sunday! I am so happy for her!

Her ring is beautiful and she's just glowing. She told me all about her her fiancee was being tricky in trying to pick the perfect ring without asking her what she liked. She said he's been dropping hints and asking questions for about 3 months and she never put the pieces together until now. She told me all about the night her man planned when he proposed (they went shopping and bought a new collar for their dog, had dinner, took a carriage ride through the park and when they got home, the dog modeled the new collar and she noticed something shiny attached: her ring. Then he proposed.) She was so happy and she really was just beside herself with excitement. as it should be. We discussed wedding ideas and possible plans from small family wedding at the fiancee's family farm (near a pond)t to marriage on a cruise to eloping in Vegas.

About a month ago she and I were talking about the prospect of getting married and we were both thinking it was a bad idea for our respective selves to get married.

Here's the awesome thing: she said when she asked not a doubt crossed her mind, not a flash of "maybe" , not a single question. Only a huge, big, and happy "YES" is all that she could think about. She knew it was right and she just can't wait to marry this man.

This is the way it should be. No doubts, no qualms, no reservations, no maybes. Good for her. And good reinforcement for me and my choices of late.

I am so happy for her! A day that the good luck in love of 10/10/10 myth actually was true!

Maggie

Day 2 of the 30 day challenge: Something you Love About Yourself

I'm taking a 30 day blog challenge and today is day 2. More truth about Maggie, so here goes!

Something You Love about Yourself:

I love my sense of humor. Once, a long time ago, a friend of mine said: "never be afraid to go for the funny." And I've remembered this always and i usually go for it. Sometimes I find that something comes out my mouth and isn't nearly as funny as it was when it was in my head. But MOST of the time, something funny is something funny.

And if I find I have an engaged audience, I can do what seems to be a stand-up comic routine. I think it's why I enjoy teaching so much-- I have an audience that is forced to listen to me, I get to be the center of attention and be funny.

In all seriousness, I do like to make people laugh. I try to do it here on my blog and I try to do it in real life. It might be just because I want to make someone smile because they need it or sometimes, because I need it. I like to hear a chuckle or a chortle or, best of all, a big, huge belly laugh.

Laughter heals, it's the best medicine, and all that ballyhoo. So I like my sense of humor to find the funny in big and small ways, and to try and give others a chuckle for a day.

Mags

A 30 day challenge+ Day 1 to kick it off!

I love the blog Why Are you Stalking Me? I love her for many different reasons (wit, sarcasm, life outlook, writing style) but one is because she posted this awesome idea. Here are 30 topics, one a day. Sort of a 30 days of truth sort of thing. I think I'm going to give it a try.

I think the purpose is to do these one a day for a month but I might have to take time out to write something about, you know... my life. Not that it's all that interesting but there could be a good family, Mac, teaching, other interesting thing, story along the way. So I'm going to do this, but I might a skip a day or two along the way. It might take me longer than 30 days because I can't neglect my regular blogging!

And because I'm bossy, a control freak, OCD, I will change this up slightly. This list is big on "write a letter" type of writing. I might answer the daily question and address the required topic but I'll probably do it in my own style, with my own flare, to it, regardless of the requested "write a letter" format.

So here is the list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Starting tomorrow (unless something else awesome happens today that I have to tell you about!) I'm gonna attack these topics! Feel free to join and play along!

And here is Day 1 just to get me started- something you hate about yourself.

This is a hard one for me because there is lots I hate about myself right now but I'm not sure I want to just throw it out here. As you know I hate my weight but I feel if I would set my mind to it and create a plan and stick to it, I could probably lose weight. Being overweight is what I hate the most right now, I would say.

I'm also frustrated with myself that I keep my mouth shut about stuff that matters but I don't want to hurt people's feelings. In the end that's probably a good thing but I don't like having to be reserved and reticent. I do this with family and friends as well as at work.

As I re-read this topic I also see if says to just tell something I hate about myself. It doesn't say I have to develop a solution to my own problem or explain why I hate. it says to just say what the issue is. So, I hate keeping my mouth shut and I hate being fat.

Hmmmmmm, I don't feel like this is very therapeutic or helpful. Maybe I should add to the list of things I hate is this particular topic.

Done with day one,
Mags

The Break Up

Yesterday ITSam and I broke up. He dumped me. He felt I wasn't spending enough time with him, which I think is absurd but if that's how he feels, I can't make him feel differently. Well, I guess I could if I said I was sorry and I spent every waking moment with him, which I won't and can't do. I can't do that with anyone. I'm not built like that. When he said he felt like I was pulling away and he kept pushing for me to come back to him, I knew he just didn't get me. I'm not one to be pushed. I've been that way since I was a little kid. The harder someone pushes me, the more I dig in my heels and refuse. As an adult I do it in a classier way, but the stubborn streak is still there. And apparently ITSam doesn't get it.

I'm glad it's over and what's even worse is that I'm glad he broke up with me because otherwise he would tell everyone I'm a terrible, horrible person who dumped him.

What's even worse is that I'm relieved. I'm glad. I feel bad about feeling relieved. I feel bad for him because he so desperately wanted it to work. He wanted me. He loved me more, way more. And we all know what happens in that situation; I know way too well because I'm usually in those shoes.

He does have something to offer a woman but I'm not her. He doesn't seem to appreciate that I'm a strong, independent woman with other friends and family that I enjoy spending time with as well.

There were lots of things wrong and I was thinking as I wanted us to step back and slow down, those things could be better. I was really lying to myself because I knew things couldn't be fixed, the stuff that bothered me about him and about our relationship, weren't fixable things so I knew by slowing down I would eventually pull away and end it.

I don't have to worry about that now, since he dumped me.

What numerologist thought 10-10-10 was supposed to be lucky for love?!? Wait, maybe lucky that I didn't get stuck with someone I don't love? Feh.

Relief,
Maggie

A battle, some Indians, a big crowd, and the re-enactment

OMG it was so hot yesterday. And it was the day of the historical re-enactment that I love to go to. I've never been when it's 85 degrees. It's pretty miserable in that weather. It was dusty and dry and just plain awful. And everyone in the state must've decided to go because it was packed with people, wall-to-wall everywhere. There wasn't time to stop and chat with the re-enactors or browse or just mill about. There were lines everywhere. It wasn't as laid back as usual.

Now all the whining and complaining aside, the company was great! Curley, Princess and I had a good time. We ate out way from one end to the other (root beer, lemonade, buttered ears of corn cooks in husks, pork chops, Indian fry bread, sugar corn). We also "window" shopped at every merchant tent, and got some cute earrings. We stopped and stared at the Indians who were elaborately painted and skimpily clothed. One wrong move and private body parts were going to be exposed.The battle was exciting as always, with canon fire, horses galloping, Indians screaming their war cries, and the bagpipes playing through it all.


Other than being hot, it was a great day. Princess had never been to anything like this before so it was so much fun to watch her ooh and ahh over everything- even though she's 17 years old, she gets excited over stuff like this- uh, no wonder we get along since I'm 39 and get excited over stuff like this! And Curley is wonderful as always and she and I went last year so we continued our tradition again.

Though next year we're not sitting near the canons.


Maggie

Pink Saturday: the pink birthday gifts of 2010

My birthday was two weeks ago and I showed some presents I received as 'early gifts' that were pink- and I got them the day or two before my birthday.

Since my friends and family like to spoil me, I got more pink presents on and after my actual birthday! Now how wonderful is that?

So here are the rest of my pink presents...!

ITSam gave me this pair of For The Cure socks! I *love* socks so these are perfect in so many ways!

Curley made me these two bracelets.

Curley made me this adorable ruffled apron, that's pink and covered in cupcakes, the world's best cake. I LOVE it!

Did I mention I love socks? Well Curley made me these! The ones on the right are regular warm socks but the ones on the left are yoga socks. The toes and heels are gone. I don't do yoga but they are perfect to wear with flip-flops until it snows!!!!!

A pretty pink bag that all my gifts from Curley came in!

A pretty antique tea cup. I don't usually do miniatures like this but Curley said it was so beautiful she couldn't resist!!!! And it's lovely!

And finally a cute "support the cure" winter cap, which I can never have too many of!

Remember that October is Breast cancer awareness month so remember to get the "ta-tas" squished!

And thanks as always to Beverly at How Sweet the Sound for hosting Pink Saturdays. And instead of featuring one fellow pink blogger, I suggest you just go to Beverly's page and click one at random, just for fun! There are so many great Pink bloggers!

In Shoes We Trust,
Maggie

Mine is the unpopular educator opinion

Or is it?

I'm going to go against the grain and say I think some (well, most really) kids who have a special education label should be back in separate classrooms. So shoot me.

There are exceptions to the rule so I hope people hear me out on this.

In the last two years that I've worked with kids who are 'special education' (and I'm an aide who works with them specifically and directly each day) and when I was in the Wild West I had "special ed" kids in my regular classroom. The majority of the kids I worked with should have have been 'inclusion-ed' or 'mainstreamed' back into regular classes, but they are.

The kids who are 'special ed' either have a medical reason, a learning disability that has been documented through testing, or a psychological reason. Kids can be special education because of Turrets, OCD, visual impairments, ADD, ADHD, autism, developmental delay, etc. These kids are then given an "individual education plan (IEP)" that makes accommodations for them in the regular classroom. For example, one popular accommodation is having a test or quiz read aloud or having the test modified (having 3 choices instead of 4 on a multiple choice test). Something else schools do is place an aide in the classroom to help the kids, keeping them on track, providing them extra attention, helping them take notes and just provide extra services to the kids according to the needs of the IEP.

Sometimes these plans work fine for the kids. Sometimes these accommodations are enough and special ed. kids can have success in a typical classroom.

BUT, in mist cases and instances I've seen there is no success. These kids are floundering and struggling. They don't have the capability to keep up. It could be because of the ADD or because the kids have an 'emotional disability'. It could be because the kids who struggle so much with just regular reading (they aren't reading at grade level or have poor reading comprehension) they can't do most of the classwork. They could be embarrassed to have an aide and don't want to use the services. There are lots of things in play here but most of the time these kids are struggling in class and don't do well.

I think it would be okay to have the kids in a separate classroom to have science, social studies and language arts. I think they could also come there for math, but often times many special education kids struggle with anything reading related but are great in math. I think it's not fair to the kids. They need to be able to feel successful and having them inclusion is not helping.

I have one senior girl who is reading at a third grade level. She struggles in all her classes and is failing everything except for PE and home economics. No wonder she struggles- she can't freakin' read. There are lots of kids like this. If a student decides to NOT be on a diploma track but would go on a completion track, the kids can take no math and no English and take "life skills math" and "life skills English." They can take shop and study hall and Home Ec. and music. They don't need social studies or science.

It may be old school thinking and I do know all the logic and reasoning and "educated" reasons for going to an inclusion route for special education students, but I. don't. think. it. works. There was nothing wrong with licensed teachers teaching the special education students at a level in which they could learn.

And if I'm frustrated, think how the kids must feel.

Maggie

Why I don't say the Pledge of Allegiance

I am not un-American nor. I am patriotic. I'm just not one who says the pledge aloud. It also doesn't mean I don't respect service men. I do respect them and I do think we need them for our survival and protection, and I am thankful there are men and women who lay doe their lives for my freedoms.

When the pledge is said I do stand, I do face the flag, and I do take my hat off if I'm wearing one. I'm quiet and respectful. I stand at "parade rest" while it's being recited. I just don't say it.

I don't like being told to be patriotic on command (and it has nothing to do with the line "One nation under God..." either!). I'm not sure if I can make this make sense. Every single day, before the announcements, we make the kids stand, face the flag, place their hands on their hearts, and say it. It becomes so mote, such a habit that it seems to lose its significance and importance. The kids look bored, roll their eyes, just stand and you can see that they are about a million miles away, and not thinking of the importance of their country.

Now, on Patriot Day, Sept. 11, when the announcements came on and we were asked to stand for the pledge, we also were told what Patriot Day was and he read a story from 9-11 over the PA. By the time he was done, tears were rolling down my face and I said the Pledge. It did mean something to me that day.

I know it should mean something to me every single day. I do know. I really do.

Maybe it's because I'm in a school setting and the Pledge is squeezed between the daily silent reading and the sports announcements. And I'm charged with MAKING kids be quiet, to stand, to not talk, to not mess around, to not pick their noses... you get my drift. No other work place, other than maybe military or government related places and I'm guessing here, makes you stand and say the Pledge.

I also don't like being told to pray, for example. I don't like ritualistic recitation at public events.

I guess this was on my mind today because it just seems like saying the Pledge in a public high school is forced on the kids, like so many other things. And today as I watched the kids during "pledge" time I was disappointed that they didn't care. It was meaningless to them.

I do not want to participate in a public ritualistic recitation when it means nothing to me, only because I'm told it's 9:50am and time to day it. I want to say it because it means something to me. While I understand it SHOULD mean something to me each day, and in my heart of hearts, I don't feel the need to say it unless I want to do so.

And it should mean something.

Maggie

Return of the killer spider, and other arachnid tails

Do you remember back in April when I wrote about the huge big spider that tried to eat me and the entire laundry room but when it knew Mac was hunting it because I was hysterically sobbing in fear of its huge-ness, it ran away and was never seen again? I think it was a killer spider. Seriously.

Well, vindication is mine, so saith Maggie- and on so many levels. Everyone thought I was exaggerating the size of the killer spider. Everyone made fun of me and teased me, even though it was really big. And I was really scared it would bite me- and spider bites are dangerous. But Daddy-O and Mac made fun and didn't believe me and I was hurt and pissed.

So, last week Mac and ITSam (who I wasn't dating at the time of the spider spotting but heard the stories and doesn't believe me either!) were waiting for me to come out of the bathroom so we could go somewhere (I always pee the very last thing before I leave the house, even if I'm just going to Wal-Mart and don't even have to really go. Anyway...) I picked up a towel Mac left on the floor and out of the corner of my eye I see movement and I hear, on the other side of the bathroom door, cries of "holy shit!", "Oh My God, do you see that thing?", "What the fuck is that?", and then, "MOM do NOT come out of the bathroom." )That last one was from Mac)

Apparently, the killer spider made its return and scared the shit outta Mac and Sam who were trying to figure out how to kill it. I'm on the other side of the bathroom door listening to all this, hoping to all deities that this time it gets killed. (Okay I wasn't exactly on the other side of the door. I was standing in the bathtub in case in ran back in to attack me. But I could still hear from there!)

First they had to talk about how huge it was. It was an "epic" sized spider, it was a "huge ass" spider, was was a "mutant" spider. Then it moved, apparently, and they both screamed like little girls and there was a great amount of stomping and swearing. They both deny it but I'd wager money that they were standing on dining room chairs, hand to Goddess!

Sam was in sandals and Mac was in flip-flops so they were both freaking out over who was going to stomp it or how it would die. It was determined and Mac went and put on snow boots. He came back and there was more shrieking and screaming; apparently it moved and was headed toward THEM!

Now, consider this. These two guys are supposed to be my rescuers, screaming in a voice that only dogs could hear? These 2 big guys, one wearing snow boots, are scared of my spider. Well, hell, no wonder I had nightmares if these dudes are frightened! And it moved toward them and they still run from it. And I'm trapped in the bathroom, oscillating between terror and hysterical laughter.

So, finally Mac decided he "had the balls" to kill it. He ran toward the spider, with Sam screaming "it's on the go, headed right toward you!" (I have no idea if he was referring to Mac or the spider or to whom he was speaking, to Mac or the spider). Finally, when he stepped on it, crying :got you mutherfu****", the spider's actual guts popped out and it was a hairy, bloody smear all over the laundry room floor. Both guys had the heebee-jeebees from it, prancing from foot to foot, convulsing with the full body shivers.

I refused to clean it up on the grounds that it was the biggest spider I had ever seen- TWICE, and since no one believed me, someone else was scrubbing up spider guts. Mac used 409 and Windex on his boot, and the floor. I think he used about a million paper towels and swore he was going to need a shower.

Yeah, my heroes. Sheesh!

Maggie

Random moments aided by flashbacks

Okay, so with blogger's little brain fart yesterday, I didn't have the chance to get everything posted that I wanted to post. I was supposed to have two posts but I was lucky to get the one to actually work. And you might want to check that out. In case you missed it, fellow blogger Evil Pixie interviewed me and posted my interview answers on her blog. If you want to know more about me, check it out at her place, Evil Pixie!

And since we're speaking about other bloggers, I want to give a HUGE thank you to Wiley. She gave me an award. An award that SHE created just FOR ME. She made the Blogitzer Award her very own self... you know, like Pulitzer but for bloggers? She was "touched" by the post I wrote about Mac's unfortunate vagina cheerleader incident. She gave my writing a thumbs up for humor. Thank you Wiley!
I also had a super amount of fun with Princess yesterday!!! We went to the mall in Northern Civilization and she told me all I need to know about cute formal dresses- the what's hot and what's not if you will. Boy, was I educated! We had some dinner and tried on hats everywhere we went. Oh! And she had NEVER been to Starbucks so I had to induct her. She she is now in love with Vanilla White Mochas. Oh yeah, baby! It was a great time. We also got some fleece and she's going to make a blanket for herself. She's never made one of the "cut and tie" fleece ones before so it's a project. She's awesome. Tomorrow night she's going with me to Mac's choir concert. He has a solo and she wants to hear him sing.

I also want to drink a Cosmo toast and give a warm welcome to new followers, and to those who've been reading me forever! I appreciate you all! And thanks to those newcomers. I hope you enjoy! I can't believe I have 92 followers. I am totally going to do something special at 100 followers. I don't know what, but something.

There is a teacher who has been absent for 4 days. She's got a terrible stomach flu/ throat infection thing. She teaches sophomores and that class is reading Frankenstein. All the days she's been gone, the kids just read and do a worksheet. The English teacher in me is going crazy because I want to TEACH while she's gone. It's such a waste to to have me just sitting there, doing nothing and the kids are bored shitless. I hate it. But I can't do ANYTHING about it.

And there is quite a bit of teacher drama at this school. I learned a long time ago teachers get involved in lots of drama and politics. I learned a long time ago I want nothing to do with that and usually eat lunch in my room and am kind to my fellow educators but that as far as it goes. I might find 1 confidant (hello Gulo) and stay out of the rest. Well, yesterday I got sucked in and it wasn't on purpose.

The 7th grade Eng. teacher was giving a test. She needed "readers" (which is part of the job of a special ed. aide- we read tests aloud) for all her classes where there was a special ed. kid. I'm only in her room 1 period a day. She told me and I signed up my class and the other 2 in the "master book" in the special ed room where people do this to ensure a reader is available. I had checked my schedule and knew I could do the other 2 periods. Well, my boss found out and told me that wasn't how it was done. She said the class teacher is supposed to send her and my supervisor an email and they will assign people to read; it's not the aide's decision to make. O-kay. I apologized. She said it was just a 'miscommunication' and she wouldn't worry about but wanted me to know how it was for the future. But she said it in a snotty, snippy way. I said it was my fault and I would correct it with the English teacher. My boss proceed to send an email to the teacher, "cc-ing" me and my supervisor with the appropriate way to do it and told her she should know better. Well shit.

So I got to her room and apologized, explaining it was my mistake and I was sorry for the email and I was trying to help. I also told her I had said I was going to let her know my mistake and suddenly we all had the email, and I was sorry and it was all just a small misunderstanding- me trying to do "more" than what was my job. Well, the classroom English teacher was PISSED!!! At my BOSS! She said she was going to talk to her.

She said I was a teacher and capable of making this sort or arrangement and I knew if my schedule was busy or not. She said furthermore, they should treat me like the teacher I am rather than a babysitter and be nicer to me since they were lucky to have someone with my experience. She also said if she were me she'd look for another job rather than work for someone who obviously thought I was incompetent. She told this to my boss. She loves me in her room and knows I'll team teach and go above and beyond, just in the week I've been there. Wow. Wow. I don't think I've had anyone stand up for me like that. Wow. This is going to be interesting...

Mags

I'm A Star!

Okay, not a star exactly but I am being featured at Evil Pixie's blog. She decided to interview fellow bloggers and then post the interview results. And she asked me to be the maiden voyage- the FIRST interview. Of course I said yes, and am very flattered. So, if you'd like to know what great mysteries of the world I shared and what secrets I revealed, head on over to see me at Evil Pixie's Blog!

Can you have too much Maggie? Uhhh, don't answer that.

Mags

*I would like to note that this was supposed to publish this morning around 6am but it didn't. Then I couldn't get on blogger all day to see what was wrong... blogger was down, at least for me! Sorry Pixie for not getting this up sooner!

Me? A mentor?

Do you remember earlier this summer after I had worked at Alcatraz for about a week? And I was upset about how awesome some of these kids are and what crappy home lives they had? And I was crying around about it? And Daddy-O reminded me that these kids are not stray kittens and puppies and I CANNOT just bring home a kid? Uhhhhh, well.... I sorta figured out a way around that...

And Daddy-O (who is reading this from Texas) breathe; no one else is moving into the attic. I promise! For now! *wink*

There is a mentor program at Alcatraz and I signed up. Then I was given permission to pick what kid I would like to mentor, as long as it was a girl and she didn't already have a mentor.

That being said, there is a super neat kid at Alcatraz who is there for "lesser" reasons than some of the other kids. She was also the girl who was my "Princess Beowulf" in the class of kids who made the movie. This girl is 16 years old and is super sparkly, outgoing, sweet, kind, silly and just awesome. She had a great personality and is a bright girl, a pretty good student. I have been assigned to be her mentor. And here in "shoes/purses" bloggerville, I so dub thee mentoree as Princess.

You might wondering, if Princess is such a great kid, why is she in a place like Alcatraz. Well, keeping the idea of confidentiality in mind, I can tell you she had a crappy home life and ran away one too many times. Her mom gave up on her and here she is. I've spoken at length with her case manager and she's one of the kids who is here because there is no where else for her to go; no one wants her. She wasn't molested or abused. She wasn't beaten or "Dave Pelzer neglected." She wasn't homeless. She just has a crappy home life with a really crappy parent situation. Should she be in a place like this? Probably not. But there was no other option.

Now, I'm her mentor. She can go places with me and do things. She's a neat kid who is in serious need of some one on one attention. She needs a good role model. She needs someone to love her for who she is and not expect her to be "anyone" else. She needs to not be ignored. I can do all that. I was also selected to work with Princess because we share some of the same traits but as an adult I know how to use those traits in public to my advantage. (We do not have to be the center of attention all the time, right?) I can be a strong woman role model. The case manager also likes that I have a group of female friends who can also be a good influence on her. Another strength is that I have a great relationship with my dad and she can see that, be exposed to a healthy father/ daughter relationship. (See, Daddy-O this is good for you, too! *wink*)

Today I get to pick her up and take her out. We don't have to "do" something every time, which is cool; however, since I am a person who likes to go out and "do" things, she gets to go along-- the reinactment, craft show, chili fair, the apple orchard open house, homecoming football game... not to mention making cookies for troops. Princess loves to cook and said she would love to fix dinner for me sometime. Cool, eh? But today we are going to Northern Civilization to spend my $25 gift certificate at Lane Bryant. And walk around a mall, which has her jumping up and down. We're gonna grab some dinner and then pick up Mac and see a movie. (Good family exposure, and role modeling healthy parent - child relationship... unless he mentions cheer leading and thumbs- egads!)

I'm very excited about this. I can't wait!

Good way for me to have a teenage daughter. And spend some time with an awesome kid.

I know she's not a puppy or a kitten but.... ya know. I figured out a way...

Maggie

Which pair to wear this Pink Saturday?

Here are three of my favorite pairs of shoes, all with some pink of course! And all fits a different mood, while they all fit the same foot. It's almost time to put away flip-flops, or so most people think, but I have toe socks and will wear them all until the snow flies.

And just on a random pink note. Someone asked me the other day why I like pink so much. I like pink because it's a happy color. It makes me smile. I look good wearing pink and it also goes with so much. It can make the drabbest gray have some zing, pep and style. I like that it's a girlie color and that it comes in so many different shades so there's always a shade that fits my mood.

Of course, as always, thanks to Beverly at How Sweet the Sound for hosting Pink Saturday. This week I want to feature a pink blogger who is also supporting and sponsoring a good cause. Valerie's son is in Afghanistan. She came up with the idea of Cans For Cookies US Troops. Check out her web site for the details but the general concept is to encourage people to contact her for a name and address and then to bake and send 2 dozen cookies to a soldier.

In shoes we trust,
Maggie Mae

New Obsession

My new "crack" is fashion magazines. I'm not sure what caused this latest addiction but it's an addiction for sure. I remember when it began but not the why behind it.

One day early this summer I was at Half Price books, one of my most favorite books store on the planet when I found the 50cent magazine rack. I started flipping through and there were a bunch of issues of fashion magazines that I never really read with ferocity. I always thought I should be a lover of Vogue since it was Carrie Bradshaw's Bible but I could never justify spending $5-$8 for a magazine full of clothes that I couldn't wear since I'm a plus size. But there at Half Price books were loads of fashion magazines for just 50cents each. So, I thought 'what the hell' and grabbed a month old copy of Vogue and In Style.

And the obsession began.

Now every time I go I comb the racks and piles looking for the month old copies of Elle, Vogue, W, In Style... I just LOVE them. And there are clothes in there I could wear, and would wear! There's make up tips and shoes galore. And jewelry! And beauty tips and secrets. I've become a huge fan. There is very little of that crap that usually pepper the pages of typical women's mags like sex advice, celeb gossip, or diet tips. These magazines are pretty much strictly, straight up, all about the shoes, clothes, purses, accessories, jewelry, make up and hair. It's terrible, I know, but I just can't help it. I'm addicted. I just sit and pour over the pages, book marking things I think I could wear, searching the 'net for something in my size just like the pants on page 412 of Vogue. I wonder what's happened. I actually KNEW when fashion week started. I actually looked on CNN to watch clips. I can identify a Dior gown at 20 paces. I'm completely and totally hooked!

Addicted so much so that the other day when I was at Wal-Mart the new Vogue, In Style and Elle have the new fall fashion issues out and I couldn't wait. I just had to have copies. And at Wall World magazines are cheaper than the cover prices so I got them for about $4 each-- AND they were each about 600 pages since it was the TOTAL fall issue on 600 in styles for the season. I bought them new.

I actually have piles and piles of magazines all over my room and in the bathroom. All less than a year old.

I blame Vanity Fair because I've been a reader for years and I think it was my gateway drug magazine of choice. Next you'll be seeing me on the street corner, holding a sign, "will work for newsstand fresh fashion mags."

Do you think I need a 12 step program?

Maggie