She did NOT say that?! Oh yes she did!

I've decided I hate teenagers--- at least I do today.

I wrote a demerit on a kid today. Writing a demerit is about the worst punishment any teacher can dole out. While this doesn't seem like a big deal, it really is. As I've mentioned in the past, I work in a school that's like a reform school so the kids have to earn privileges. Getting demerits causes them to lose privileges. And won't let them participate in extra- curricular activities. And if they get enough demerits then they can end up in "Friday school" which is an extra 3 hours of school instead of having free time off. So, it really is a big deal. And if a kid is a brat or has a bad day or is a brat (did I mention if a kid is a brat?) then s/he can get a bunch of demerits during the day from various teachers for various things.

In the building there are teachers who are known to give out about 5-10 a DAY. I think that's stupid and to me it shows the teachers have either given up or, more likely, have ZERO classroom management skills. There are 4 steps a teacher can take before handing out a demerit and I think a demerit is the lazy way of disciplining a student. The other 4 things involve TIME and PATIENCE while a demerit is easy.

Because I'm the librarian I don't have 4 ways to discipline a kid because our discipline program is set up for teachers. And, frankly, it's really a non-issue because I very VERY rarely have issues with kids in a negative way.

I'm supposed to give demerits for overdue books but I usually do something different and use this as a last resort. I have overdue books at my public library and that doesn't usually ruin my entire week so I hate to do that to the students. I find if I have to give a demerit for an overdue book it's because I've asked the kids for the book about 3-4 times, I've given them written "reminders", I've asked their fellow housemates to help them find the book, I've done a locker search, and I've talked to the adults who oversee the house where the kids live. After all this, if the kid doesn't give me the book, then I will write a demerit. In the year I've done this job, I've given 7 demerits for overdue books. I will also give a demerit if kids behave in a shitty way toward me about their overdue books- I wrote 1 for this. So in one year and 2 months, I've given 8 demerits for overdue books and each kid knew it was coming.

Now, as far as writing a demerit because of a discipline problem... well. I've done it one other time. Yes, one. And today made twice.

The girl student was pissy with her classroom teacher and brought her crummy attitude into my library. And she was snippy to me and I let it go. "Feh" I thought. She got a book. She sat down. She read (or stared at the book, pretending to read). Her teacher gathered the class and girl student made some nasty comment under her breath (that I didn't hear) to her classroom teacher. She smacked her library book on the counter. I picked the book up and handed it back to her and said something like, "hey be nice to the books. They didn't do anything to you." And she proceeded to throw the book AT me (I ducked) and she yelled at me, "SUCK IT!!!" and she flounced out of the library.

Oh yeah, she said that.

Oh yeah, I wrote a demerit.

Guess who now has Friday school? She can suck that.

Mean Maggie

Mac stories #1

When Mac was in kindergarten, I sent him to a Catholic school because it was the only one in the city that had all day Kindergarten (even though we were United Methodists). Mac was smart and board and needed to be occupied and encouraged.

I got a call from the principal one day, that I needed to come to the school immediately for a parent/ teacher conference. As in RIGHT NOW.

When I got to the school I found Mac, in his little uniform, sitting outside of the office, swinging his legs. He looked at me and smiled.

I went in the office and the principal said Mac had been doing something inappropriate on the playground at lunch. She called him in and then told me that he was teaching the other children how to play Blackjack during lunch recess. Then he would beat them and take their milk money. He had about $8 in coins in his pockets and stashed in his lunch box... with his deck of cards.

I know she wanted me to be appropriately chagrined, and I was. I had no idea what to say. he had been gambling at school! He was teaching other children to gamble! He was taking their money! She asked him what he had to say for himself. He said, "I don't cheat. And I don't know why you're made. Catholics play BINGO. Blackjack isn't that much different."

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, oh god!

She looked and me, all aghast and appalled, and said, "What you do have to say about that?" I said, "Well, he does have a point."

Mac's mom,
Maggie

Why I don't say the Pledge of Allegiance

I am not un-American nor. I am patriotic. I'm just not one who says the pledge aloud. It also doesn't mean I don't respect service men. I do respect them and I do think we need them for our survival and protection, and I am thankful there are men and women who lay doe their lives for my freedoms.

When the pledge is said I do stand, I do face the flag, and I do take my hat off if I'm wearing one. I'm quiet and respectful. I stand at "parade rest" while it's being recited. I just don't say it.

I don't like being told to be patriotic on command (and it has nothing to do with the line "One nation under God..." either!). I'm not sure if I can make this make sense. Every single day, before the announcements, we make the kids stand, face the flag, place their hands on their hearts, and say it. It becomes so mote, such a habit that it seems to lose its significance and importance. The kids look bored, roll their eyes, just stand and you can see that they are about a million miles away, and not thinking of the importance of their country.

Now, on Patriot Day, Sept. 11, when the announcements came on and we were asked to stand for the pledge, we also were told what Patriot Day was and he read a story from 9-11 over the PA. By the time he was done, tears were rolling down my face and I said the Pledge. It did mean something to me that day.

I know it should mean something to me every single day. I do know. I really do.

Maybe it's because I'm in a school setting and the Pledge is squeezed between the daily silent reading and the sports announcements. And I'm charged with MAKING kids be quiet, to stand, to not talk, to not mess around, to not pick their noses... you get my drift. No other work place, other than maybe military or government related places and I'm guessing here, makes you stand and say the Pledge.

I also don't like being told to pray, for example. I don't like ritualistic recitation at public events.

I guess this was on my mind today because it just seems like saying the Pledge in a public high school is forced on the kids, like so many other things. And today as I watched the kids during "pledge" time I was disappointed that they didn't care. It was meaningless to them.

I do not want to participate in a public ritualistic recitation when it means nothing to me, only because I'm told it's 9:50am and time to day it. I want to say it because it means something to me. While I understand it SHOULD mean something to me each day, and in my heart of hearts, I don't feel the need to say it unless I want to do so.

And it should mean something.

Maggie

Mad Dancing!

How many of you are familiar with the pinnacle of Kevin Bacon's movie career, Footloose? For those of you who lack the knowledge, this slightly corny movie is about a kid who moves into a small town ruled by an iron fisted preacher who won't let people... DANCE! So Kevin Bacon's character named Wren falls in love with the preacher's daughter and they decide to use their friends and Bible quotes and some nice guy who owns a grain mill to host a school... DANCE! And when Kevin Bacon's character Wren gets really mad, and fed up with the town because everyone is picking on his monstrously cool self, he drives away, and in a moment of cheesiest movie history, he slams a cassette into the car cassette tape deck and... DANCES his anger out!

Now, Mac thinks this is the funniest thing. he. has. ever. seen. in. his. life. He also down loaded the song to his iTunes, which happens to be "Never" by a group called Moving Pictures, an obvious one hit wonder, if you could even call them that. And for some reason, he isn't the only teen around here who thinks it's funny- ALL of Mac's buddies think it's hysterical that this kid gets so mad he runs off to... DANCE!

So, yesterday morning, Mac and I are being slugs in the living room and he's dinkin' around on his computer. And he starts playing "Never". This roused me from my slug-fest to see what the hell he's thinking since he usually plays Pink Floyd and Metallica. He tells me how funny everyone thinks the song is. The conversation proceeds:

Mac: yeah, mom, every time I get mad at you, I take off and go DANCE my mad out.
Me: oh really? You go to the city park to do that?
Mac: oh totally yeah. In the big pavilion. All the kids do it.
Me: that'd be something to see.
Mac: Sometimes there are so many of us ready to mad DANCE, I have to wait in line. And I have a collection of half drank glass Coke bottles to smash in the middle of my big mad DANCE number!
Me: got a selection of wife beater shirts I don't know about?
Mac: I totally do, mom. I change into my acid wash jeans right before I go...

Now, for this to be waaaaaaaaaaaaay more meaningful to those of you who have never witnessed this spectacle and for this to make sense, I have FOUND a clip of Kevin Bacon and this scene in its entirety from Footloose. God bless the Internet. Take a look. Laugh. I did!

Mac's mom,
Maggie

A day in the life of me

Period 1:
After Student 1 snapped her friggin' gum at me for the third time, I told her to spit it out and SHE SAID NO. I was not impressed with that response. After pulling a referral out to write her up, she spit it out and then stuck her tongue out at me.

Period 2:
We had a sub who was the Bitch of all Bitches. This class can sometimes be a bit mouthy but for the most part, they're good kids. Well, they were being difficult and I was walking around helping them do a worksheet. The sub sat at her desk and watched me work the room. Then 5 minutes before the bell, she told the kids they talked too much and didn't work enough so she took their worksheets to turn in, rather than giving them as homework, knowing they weren't done. BUT she took mine. I always get a blank one so I can refer to it throughout the day when I helped kids. But she even took mine, telling me, "You don't need this." EXCUSE ME?!? The kids got quiet at that moment, waiting to see what I would do. I heard someone mutter, "Oh man, is she mad." They all sort of backed away. One girl patted my hand and asked me, "Do you need a time out, Ms. O'Sullivan?" The other kids waited to see what I would do and I walked over and pick a blank worksheet from the pile and walked out of the room. Props to me for not slamming the door or knocking her in the mouth with the history book- and those suckers are heavy!

Period 3:
We have a question on the board for the kids to answer. There is one on there at the beginning of every period, every day. They are to come in, sit down, write down the question and the answer and that begins the period. We just ended the 3rd quarter of school so they have done this for 27 weeks. I still have to tell kids, "write the question down." Today, one of my kids said, "No, I'm tired and I'm not gonna do it." I just walked away. I thought about whacking him with a text book but I just walked away and took about 3947432 deep breaths.

Lunch:
There is some kid who isn't anyone I know but he's in line. His shirt says, "Anger Management Classes really piss me off." I said to him that while that was funny, it was inappropriate and he needed to turn it inside out. He told me no. I told him yes. He asked why. I told him because the language was inappropriate it, and to go to the boy's room to change or go behind the pop machine and do it. He said "No, and you can't make me."

I was pissed. I had about had it. What really sucks, is that no, I couldn't MAKE him, unless I bashed him in the knees with a lunch tray and then kicked him in the nuts to disable him and while he was on the ground in pain, I might have been able to wrest the shirt from him. But legally, no, I couldn't make him. So I told the principal on him. He told the Principal no, and later I saw him in the office. So nanananananah!

Period 4 and 5 were without incident.

Period 6:
The gum snapper girl was at it again and I made her spit it out again- after she told me "no"- again. This time, she took another stick of gum from her pocket and stuck it in her mouth immediately. I made her spit that one out and told her if she put one more in I would write her up.

Period 7:
A group of kids were working on their homework and I was helping (actually, I had given up and I was pointing to the correct answers on the page and letting them write 'em down without looking them up on their own. Yeah, I suck. So, sue me.) The rest of the kids were working on the computers. One stupid girl who has no social skills and is too dumb to be in any classes other than basic math and reading, asked me if she could play games. Well, the regular teacher was out of the room and I wasn't sure so I told her no. She said, "Well everyone else is." I think I snapped. I said, ""Well, then you should've just played rather than ask me. They can play and YOU can't!!" Then she almost cried and I pointed my finger at her a yelled, "And don't even cry because I will not deal with that today." And she stopped and sat and pouted.

So this other boy, who is equally as dumb as she but he slobbers and lisps and has a crush on HER, came over and told me I wasn't nice to her. As he said this, he lisped and slobbered on me. And the kid next to me. That kid said, "Ummm, he slobbered on me!!!!! And the class laughed. I told slobber boy to mind his own business and to go sit down. He turned, took 3 steps, and FARTED really really REALLY loudly and the entire room was then a ball of hysteria. The classroom teacher was back and she didn't say a word. She just walked over with a can of air freshener, sprayed it in the direction of Slobber Boy's butt and walked away. The bell rang about 4 minutes later.

So, who wants to be a teacher?

Maggie

More (and hopefully the last of the) ice cream tales

Number 1:

"Tom" comes in 3-4 times a week, usually with his wife to get a flavored soda. They are obviously regulars. They've always been super nice to me. They're the chatty type and we've gotten to know each other. Tom came in one day last week alone and stood and talked to me for about 15 minutes (it was actually slow at the point since it was thunder storming outside). he told me how great my hair looked and I said thanks. Then he asked me what I was doing that night and I said I was working. He said it was too bad because he wanted to take me to dinner at his favorite place on the lake. I think I said something about "wouldn't his wife mind?" and I 'haha-ed' and he said "she doesn't have to know. If you go with me, she won't be."

A married guy. Who's old enough to be my dad. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

Number 2:

Mother and her three screaming brats come in and order dinner and decide to eat in. The kids run all over the place and scream and yell. I fix their food and take it to the table. Kids continue to scream and yell and mother continues to do nothing. When the woman standing at the counter who was trying to order and I asked her to repeat herself for the third time and I still COULDN'T hear her, I decided I had enough. I marched over to the table and got down on the kids' eye level and said in a very loud and nice voice, "LOOK! You need to be quiet right now. I can't hear. You need to use your inside voice or your mommy will need to take you home. Got it?" The looked at me and nodded. I looked and mommy and she refused to make eye contact with me and never said a word. They left about 5 minutes later.

Number 3:

Our ice cream store is located between a liquor store and a local restaurant. We get some interesting people who walk, drive, bike, and skateboard passed the parlor.

Yesterday is was cool- the first really cool day we had, in the middle 50s, there was a HUGE wind blowing and it was raining- basically the cold, wet nightmare of a day. And a woman walks passed. She is an older lady, probably in her late 50s, early 60s. She had a cane and a limp. And she walked passed my store and about 15 minutes later she goes back the way she came, struggling along with her cane, her limp, in the rain, against the wind and carrying a bottle in a brown paper bag.

Number 4:

Every day, around the same time of day, a guy rides his bike passed. He looked like the version of Forest Gump who ran across the country a few times. He rides a bicycle and goes by with carry out food in a Styrofoam container in the basket of his bike. He wears leathers. There's so much about this that makes me smile: that a guy who looks like him rides a bicycle with a basket or the carry out or that he looks like "Running Forest Gump." Hey, I'm just observing.

Number 5:

The ice cream is owned by 2 sisters, their mom and their uncle. The uncle is sort of the "silent" partner in that he does all the finances for the company. And because he's such an early bird, he stops in the shop each morning and puts cash in the register. Since I've been opening, the Uncle comes in each day before I get there and leaves some money in the register and he also turns the alarm off, but keeps it locked. That way I don't need to have the alarm code.

So one day I open the doors, walk half way across the dining room and hear a beeping- the alarm! Shit, it wasn't turned off! I drop my stuff, dash across the room, back out the door, and I throw the lock hoping I can keep the alarm from beeping. Unfortunately, it doesn't. The blares; a cacophony of sirens that sounds like 17 police car sirens all at once.

I have no code so I need to call someone before I had the entire police department at my feet. I start to grab my phone and... I dropped my purse inside. I unlock the door, get my purse and then I get the cordless store phone because the "Very Well Known and Reputable Nationwide Alarm Company" will be calling. I stand outside and call one of the owners. She gives me the code, I shut it off and go inside. And start through the opening procedure. And guess what? The alarm company has never called. The police never called. I could've been robbed or killed or something and no one would've known. Yeah.

And to top it off, the Uncle forgot to leave me cash in the register. Feh.