Random thoughts, and a conversation

I signed up for three months of yoga class and I still haven't made it to one yet. Thank goodness there are 2.5 months left.

I hope Zi-Cam saves me from a cold because kids are coughing and sneezing all over the place.

Channel locks and vice grips are NOT the same thing.

I miss the Wild West... their winters and their sunsets.

I've had it planned for 2 weeks for the Art Club kids to carve pumpkins next week. A fellow teacher came in today with a GREAT IDEA for Art Club. Gee, she said I should have them carve pumpkins. Gee, I already have the pumpkins ordered and a "Pimp Your Pumpkin" flier already printed.

I'm making a new collection... of pints of and Ben and Jerry's ice cream in my freezer. They have my name on them. In my freezer.

Conversation I had with a student:
student: I hate taking communion.
me: really?
student: Yeah. I bet the disciples went hungry.
me: uhhh, why's that?
student: well, if all you ate for a meal was a crumb of bread and a shot of grape juice you'd be hungry too.
me: well, it's not supposed to be a meal... and what does it have to do with disciples, exactly?
student: well, the bread and booze was the Last Supper. Is that why prisoners on death row get a good meal? Because Jesus's last one sucked?
me: *blink, blink*
Me: uhh, I think you're a little confused. The Bread and wine was not served as the Last Supper.
Student: are you sure?
me: uhhhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
student: then why do we eat bread and wine at church?
me: because it's a symbol of Christ, of His sacrifice for mankind. the bread represents his body and the wine his blood.
student: oh. Well, what did they eat at the Last Supper?
me: I don't know.
student: tacos. Jesus is a Mexican name so it was probably tacos.
At this point, I didn't say a word. Sometimes it pays to just be quiet.

Maggie

A little lonely

This might sound dumb because of how horrible ITSam was/ is, but I sort of "miss" him.

It's odd to try to get out of a routine with a person. I saw him every day, talked to him on the phone, or text him and now nothing. It's odd. I do have good memories with him and had good times. And now I'm just cut off completely. (and rightly so, of course). It's hard to adjust to. I have things that happen during the day and want to shoot him an email or pick up the phone and say something funny. I miss that.

I know it's only been three (and a half) days and I won't do anything stupid but I can still miss him. He hasn't contacted me, which is a good thing, I know, so I guess he's not missing me, which is fine.

When things were really good, they were really good. I did have fun with him, when he was being nice. He was kind to me, most of the time, and it's the good parts that I miss.

I do feel lonely. I wish it was different. I wish he understood I love my friends but I could love him too. I wish he wasn't a controlling freak. I wish he went back on his medicine and saw his therapist. I wish he knew that I could have it all and he and I could've been amazing. I wish he knew that he had the makings to be a great guy and a wonderful husband.

But.... alas, no.

I still miss the good parts.

Maggie

Foray into Facebook

Reasons I don't Facebook:

1. I will not do anything that supports Mark Zuckerburg

2. Anyone I like well enough to be in contact with, I already am

3. I blog

4. I don't care

5. I would be upset if I was blocked or un-friended or if people wrote bad things on my wallpaper.

6. I'll be the person who can't keep her mouth shut and would wind up fired because I said something inappropriate or had pictures of me doing something "inappropriate."

That being said, I have apparently been a topic of discussion on my son's Facebook account, and ITSam has pictures of me on his. The easy one first: Sam did ask me if it was okay to have pictures of me on his Facebook AND he let me pick which ones I wanted him to use.

As for Mac... well, the background is that Sam and I were kissing on the couch the other night, after we thought everyone had gone to bed. We were not naked, touching naughty bits, or having sex, not groping or dry humping. We. were. kissing. on. the. couch. At my dad's. Mac came downstairs; he didn't say anything, but he did make gagging sounds. I thought nothing of it.

Until after school yesterday when Mac TOLD me he wrote it on his F-book, about it was "gross and disgusting to see" his mom and her boyfriend making out. Well, I guess he's gotten about 100 comments. The kids are teasing him to death- hey, he asked for it. And he told me I have a fan club. I've met most of the kids who said anything, either while they were hanging out with Mac or when I worked at his school for 8 weeks. One girl (she and I had a discussion one day about the difference between black and white guys) asked mac if my boyfriend was chocolate. Mac said, "NO! He's hairy, bald and vanilla- and mauling my mom." (there was no mauling, I swear!) The girl responded "Oh yuck- what is she thinking?" (Is it yuck that he's bald, hairy or vanilla?). The kids have really razzed him and love me, and just him to get over it. Mac said he was shocked at the number of kids who said they walked in on their parents having sex. He decided at that point, it could've been worse.

I can't believe he wrote any of if. I can't believe the kids commented. I can't believe I have a fan club.

Sometimes I wish I had a Facebook account only to see the pictures my sister-in-law posts of Fab Finn and the Divine Ms K. She takes tons of pictures and the kids are adorable and I would just love access to that. Sometimes I would like access to Facebook to ask, for example, Sam's cousin's wife (his 2nd cousin in law?) for a copy of a picture she took of him and me last summer at a picnic. That's pretty random, I know, but it's an example I can think of right now. Or when Farrago is going to sing karaoke or be in a show I could easily see this info- if he would let me be a friend.

Actually, Farrago had an idea. He said if there was stuff on Facebook and I didn't want to have contact with people in my past, that I could Facebook as Maggie. Now, that's a thought. Though, he did say this about 8 months ago and I haven't done anything like that so I think that's just what it is: a thought.

I think Mac gave me a new reason to stay off Facebook.

Maggie

Absolutely abhorrent comment

Princess does rub some people the wrong way. As teachers, we all have students who we just don't like. As people we all have to interact with other people we just don't like. Okay. That being said...

Wait, I need to make one more clarification. In the 10 years I've been in education I have said the following things to either a family member, friend or a colleague:

• "Oh well, I try not to worry about him since he'll end up in prison as some point."
• "Oh well, I try not to worry about her since she'll end up serving my McFries someday."
• "I can' wait for that bully to meet someone who'll kick his butt."

Yes, I've said these things. However, I think there's a line a teacher can cross and the science teacher made a comment to a table full of teachers at lunch today that went way beyond crossing.

The science teacher and Princess hate each other. It goes both ways and it's no secret. Science teacher sits down and starts complaining about how rotten the kids are this week. I'm sitting and eating and not speaking. I was in a hurry because I had stuff to do and I don't like sitting with those people, either.

He goes on with with rant, complaining about one kid then another. He gets to Princess. I figure I'll just shut up because I know they hate each other and teacher's need to vent, and just because I'm her mentor/ pseudo mom/ potential foster mom that I need to let him speak. Then when he speaks I think he should be struck dead by lightening.

He actually said, "I can't wait for about 3 years when [Princess] is living in a trailer park with her squally brats and her husband. No wait her boyfriend because who's gonna want to marry that mouth? And he beats the crap out of her. I can't wait because she deserves it."

He. said. that. He's a teacher and he said that.

I picked up my tray, my coat, pushed in my chair and walked away. I didn't stomp, slam, say anything, or make a scene. I wanted to say, "So, how often do you beat your wife?"

I can't believe an educator would say that about a student. I have said some crappy things, yes, but NEVER something like that. Does it make me feel worse and more angry because it's Princess? Oh hellszyeah! But I just can't believe a person who would work in a place like Alcatraz, who has to be there because it's a calling practically, should think like this, let alone even say anything this, this, this... sick, this wrong.

I was about sick. I never want to be anywhere near him again. I'm appalled.

And to think, that jerk has tenure.

Maggie

You heard it here first

One of my Alcatraz boys asked me what "wanker" meant. Well, since he asked me in a room full of teen boys ages 13-17, I made a quick decision. Since they are not only all boys, but all boys who live together in houses, I didn't want to hear masturbation stories so I said it was another word for "the f-word."

The then turned to another kid and called him a "mother wanker." Yes, I obviously choose poorly since I didn't think THAT all the way through.

I told the kid that "wanker" was not appropriate language and he wasn't supposed to swear at all. Well, he said, "Why can't I say wanker? It's a foreign language."

I now want to apologize to all of Great Britain on behalf of the unheralded stupidity of the entire conversation.

More tales of summer school

Well, a kid told me to "fuck off." He's met me for a grand total of 6 minutes in our entire lives and he's already swearing at me- talking about timing. And all I asked of him was to please not lay his head on the table. People usually tell me to "fuck off" after they've known me longer, and typically for far worse offenses. I mean, I made it through the entire first summer session and I don't think anyone even rolled their eyes at me, so this was an impressive first impression, I would say. Oooooo, see how influential I am?

This kid did NOT want to be in my class. I did NOT want this kid in my class after that. I asked him to please leave. Which I suppose was rather redundant of me since he was walking out the door and slamming it in my face as I was nicely asking him to go. And apparently my "mad" voice isn't a good one, because the remaining students said it was like watching Snow White get mad. Is that a compliment?

Summer session is starting out with... some color!

Did I mention the same kid walked out of my class yesterday after saying, "I don't want to be in here with junior high brats." (There were 2 seventh graders in this class) I was thinking, "Exactly WHO is the brat here?" but I didn't say it. And then I said "Oh give it a chance, it might be fun." He said, "I don't even get credit for this class" and he got up and walked out. I was offering to write him a pass but he didn't feel the need to wait. Wonder if he'll be back today- third time's a charm?

Now, my afternoon class is good. I have 5 kids I had last session and they are AWESOME as I knew they would be. Then I have five new ones; two of them are pretty good and the other three roll their eyes at me and whisper to each other that "she's not that cool." Well, EXCUSE me! And I am so!

No, seriously, I certainly don't take it personally and I hate to admit I sort of laughed when the kid told me to "f*** off" because I do think that's a first for me. And the boys who don't think I'm cool-- well, at least I CHOSE to be at Alcatraz, the court didn't send here, thank you very much!

The morning study skills class covered "muscle reading" and practiced it on Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery"-- which they all through was a freakin' awesome story- and it is! We also covered some "dos and don'ts" of good note taking. In the film class we watched Hitchcock's Psycho and started Avatar, which isn't bad and we should finish it today (this movie's a 162 minutes- Cameron is insane!).

So, that's the start of my new school summer session 2... could make for an interesting week.

Maggie

Things you never think you'd hear together...

I have a guided study hall that I oversee one period a day. I have 4 kids assigned to me daily, and then teachers can send kids from their classrooms, in who are in need of help.

The setting: 2 kids have on head phones and are playing a computer game. They are insignificant to this story. Then I have one girl working on homework at a table. I have one boy- the smelly boy- sitting at another table, also doing homework. I'm sitting at my desk.

Girl says to me: [randomly] my new nephew is so cute.
me: Ah, that's nice. How old?
Girl: 6 weeks.
me: I bet his parents think he's a doll.
Girl: Well, my sister's (mother of the baby) boyfriend broke up with her while she was in labor.
Me [surprised]: Wow. Really? That's rough. What a jerk!
Girl: Yeah, but now he's trying to make up with her and get her to forgive him and he even asked her to the Prom.
Me [double take]: Uh, the Prom?
Girl: Yeah. My sister doesn't know what to do.
Me: Uhhhhhhhh...
Girl: He's attached to the baby, so she might go with him. And she found a pretty dress in 17! (it's a teen magazine)
Me: Well, I'm sure he wants to be near his little boy.
Girl: Oh, it's not his kid!
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, then who's the dad?
Smelly Boy from across the room: my brother...

insert: "bum bum bum" here.......

I can't decide what bothers me more: who the father is, who the father isn't, she got dumped during child birth, or that going to Prom is a way to make up from being dumped during childbirth........................

Ah, kids today,
Maggie

Mad Dancing!

How many of you are familiar with the pinnacle of Kevin Bacon's movie career, Footloose? For those of you who lack the knowledge, this slightly corny movie is about a kid who moves into a small town ruled by an iron fisted preacher who won't let people... DANCE! So Kevin Bacon's character named Wren falls in love with the preacher's daughter and they decide to use their friends and Bible quotes and some nice guy who owns a grain mill to host a school... DANCE! And when Kevin Bacon's character Wren gets really mad, and fed up with the town because everyone is picking on his monstrously cool self, he drives away, and in a moment of cheesiest movie history, he slams a cassette into the car cassette tape deck and... DANCES his anger out!

Now, Mac thinks this is the funniest thing. he. has. ever. seen. in. his. life. He also down loaded the song to his iTunes, which happens to be "Never" by a group called Moving Pictures, an obvious one hit wonder, if you could even call them that. And for some reason, he isn't the only teen around here who thinks it's funny- ALL of Mac's buddies think it's hysterical that this kid gets so mad he runs off to... DANCE!

So, yesterday morning, Mac and I are being slugs in the living room and he's dinkin' around on his computer. And he starts playing "Never". This roused me from my slug-fest to see what the hell he's thinking since he usually plays Pink Floyd and Metallica. He tells me how funny everyone thinks the song is. The conversation proceeds:

Mac: yeah, mom, every time I get mad at you, I take off and go DANCE my mad out.
Me: oh really? You go to the city park to do that?
Mac: oh totally yeah. In the big pavilion. All the kids do it.
Me: that'd be something to see.
Mac: Sometimes there are so many of us ready to mad DANCE, I have to wait in line. And I have a collection of half drank glass Coke bottles to smash in the middle of my big mad DANCE number!
Me: got a selection of wife beater shirts I don't know about?
Mac: I totally do, mom. I change into my acid wash jeans right before I go...

Now, for this to be waaaaaaaaaaaaay more meaningful to those of you who have never witnessed this spectacle and for this to make sense, I have FOUND a clip of Kevin Bacon and this scene in its entirety from Footloose. God bless the Internet. Take a look. Laugh. I did!

Mac's mom,
Maggie

Mac, the Holy One

Yesterday, Easter Sunday mind you, I left the house to return some videos. Mac decided to come along so it was a last minute "hurry up and wait" on him to get himself "beautiful" as well as his iPod, his phone, his head phones, his wallet, and his car keys (I ask you- why does he need all this shit to go 4 blocks? And he wasn't driving. There's no money in his wallet!).

Half way to the video store I holler, "Jesus H. Christ. We're going to the video store to return the videos and guess what I forgot!?!" And I pound the steering wheel a few times for good measure, before getting ready to turn around and go back.

Mac says, "I keep telling you, mother, you can just call me Mac. And what do you expect me and my Holy self to do about it?"

I chuckle and say, "Use some of that Godliness to conjure up the DVDs so I don't have to turn around to go back to get 'em."

Without missing a beat, he says, "I can't. It's Easter Sunday and I've been busy; besides, you're an atheist. Can't do shit for ya."

Mac's mom,
Maggie