I called our minister at the church a few weeks ago. I wanted to ask him some questions about a part time job opportunity and to discuss some community service outreach ideas I have. And I wanted to talk to him about Social Media marketing the church. He wasn't in and I left a message.
He finally called me back. Three weeks later. By that time I couldn't remember what I wanted. He had been pretty sick and then on vacation. He swears he didn't the message that I called until that day. I laughed and then said, "Well, in my experience ministers don't usually return calls unless someone's dead, having a baby, getting married or wants to give the church a bunch of money."
Oh yeah, I said it. I can't believe I said it. It was out my mouth before I thought. I stumbled around and apologized profusely and said I didn't mean him specifically and just basically rambled and apologized like an idiot. He laughed and said not to worry and he wasn't offended in the least and sometime just being honest is good. And now he knows how I think and he will always make calling me back a priority. And I apologized some more.
As if that wasn't bad enough...
I remembered a few hours later what I wanted and I sent him a text. I didn't think I could bear another phone call. I simplified what I wanted and he responded pretty quickly and made arrangements to get together in the next few weeks to chat. I thanked him very much for getting back to me so quickly, and apologized again for my earlier gaffe. And said, "sometimes my filter doesn't work and I say stupid shit." Then i hit send. Then I re-read what I wrote.
To the minister.
At this point I should've just given up on the minister, the church, God and went back to the heathen that I was so good at being, or else just took a vow of silence. Or found a new church.
I'm apologizing again now, for the profanity, and he sent back text messages that were HILARIOUS! He actually thought it was funny and said that sometimes "there's no other word that's appropriate except for sh**".
I saw him on Sunday morning and he just started laughing before I could say a word. He said I was hilarious and honest and he appreciated that I just would talk and not have to worry about his "job". I said I could be a little more tactful but he said he was not offended in the least, he thought the whole thing was funny, and to not worry about a thing.
At least God didn't strike me down with a lightening bolt.
Yet.
Mags
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Friday, July 27, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
The Pope Channel
For some reason we have a channel that's all church, all the time. I have no idea what it's really called but Mac and I have taken to calling it The Pope Channel.
There's a guy who looked like a Pope, or at least he's wearing a Pope looking hat, conducting Mass. All the time. Every single time I turn this channel on, this Pope looking guy is giving mass. It doesn't matter what day or time, there was Mass. Same guy, same hat, same church. I want to say I'm not Catholic, as we all know. I have nothing against Catholics and in reality I'm kinda fascinated with the whole religion. I was raised Methodist and went to church often as a kid.
Then we had a change because one day Mac and I were changing the channels and there was a nun, talking to the screen, just chatting away. Okay... she was an old nun, too. And she had on the full habit, the entire nun headgear and the long cloak thingy. And then it segued from her to a cartoon. A Catholic Cartoon. A poorly drawn Catholic cartoon. These little kids were sitting around the table telling their parents how great Sunday school was and how much they loved believing in God. Mac and I were struck kinda dumb. A whole cartoon for Catholic kids? We were stuck in car wreck mode- can't look away but knowing we should... And we laughed lots. Mac couldn't believe any real, human child would actually watch that when they could watch say... Jimmy Neutron... on a different channel.
It's become such a joke around our house that I can be in the living room and Mac can be in the kitchen and we can decide that "nothing is on TV" and he'll holler to check "The Pope Channel" just in case. Just in case there's a special report just in that Armageddon is upon us? Another cartoon? A new Pope that's not a Nazi?
Since we discovered the nun and the cartoon, we also occasionally see a guy who looks like Grizzly Adams but dressed like a Monk. He gives religious talks to the camera. No audience; he just sits on a chair in front of a stained glass window, talking about church-y stuff.
I have to admit Mac and I usually don't listen to what is being said; we're more gabby about if it's the nun, the monk, the cartoons, or the Pope. Which led us astray to a discussion about Catholic clergy fashion trends- or the lack thereof. (I guess you could say we have a tendency to be a bit smarmy...)
And we only found the cartoon once- on a day when we were both home, just chilling. Maybe we were both having the same hallucination? Did I mention my amazing discovery? The Pope Channel has an hour long program... that's like HOME Shopping for the Good Catholic. I just can't even begin to describe that...
Maggie
There's a guy who looked like a Pope, or at least he's wearing a Pope looking hat, conducting Mass. All the time. Every single time I turn this channel on, this Pope looking guy is giving mass. It doesn't matter what day or time, there was Mass. Same guy, same hat, same church. I want to say I'm not Catholic, as we all know. I have nothing against Catholics and in reality I'm kinda fascinated with the whole religion. I was raised Methodist and went to church often as a kid.
Then we had a change because one day Mac and I were changing the channels and there was a nun, talking to the screen, just chatting away. Okay... she was an old nun, too. And she had on the full habit, the entire nun headgear and the long cloak thingy. And then it segued from her to a cartoon. A Catholic Cartoon. A poorly drawn Catholic cartoon. These little kids were sitting around the table telling their parents how great Sunday school was and how much they loved believing in God. Mac and I were struck kinda dumb. A whole cartoon for Catholic kids? We were stuck in car wreck mode- can't look away but knowing we should... And we laughed lots. Mac couldn't believe any real, human child would actually watch that when they could watch say... Jimmy Neutron... on a different channel.
It's become such a joke around our house that I can be in the living room and Mac can be in the kitchen and we can decide that "nothing is on TV" and he'll holler to check "The Pope Channel" just in case. Just in case there's a special report just in that Armageddon is upon us? Another cartoon? A new Pope that's not a Nazi?
Since we discovered the nun and the cartoon, we also occasionally see a guy who looks like Grizzly Adams but dressed like a Monk. He gives religious talks to the camera. No audience; he just sits on a chair in front of a stained glass window, talking about church-y stuff.
I have to admit Mac and I usually don't listen to what is being said; we're more gabby about if it's the nun, the monk, the cartoons, or the Pope. Which led us astray to a discussion about Catholic clergy fashion trends- or the lack thereof. (I guess you could say we have a tendency to be a bit smarmy...)
And we only found the cartoon once- on a day when we were both home, just chilling. Maybe we were both having the same hallucination? Did I mention my amazing discovery? The Pope Channel has an hour long program... that's like HOME Shopping for the Good Catholic. I just can't even begin to describe that...
Maggie
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Random thoughts, and a conversation
I signed up for three months of yoga class and I still haven't made it to one yet. Thank goodness there are 2.5 months left.
I hope Zi-Cam saves me from a cold because kids are coughing and sneezing all over the place.
Channel locks and vice grips are NOT the same thing.
I miss the Wild West... their winters and their sunsets.
I've had it planned for 2 weeks for the Art Club kids to carve pumpkins next week. A fellow teacher came in today with a GREAT IDEA for Art Club. Gee, she said I should have them carve pumpkins. Gee, I already have the pumpkins ordered and a "Pimp Your Pumpkin" flier already printed.
I'm making a new collection... of pints of and Ben and Jerry's ice cream in my freezer. They have my name on them. In my freezer.
Conversation I had with a student:
student: I hate taking communion.
me: really?
student: Yeah. I bet the disciples went hungry.
me: uhhh, why's that?
student: well, if all you ate for a meal was a crumb of bread and a shot of grape juice you'd be hungry too.
me: well, it's not supposed to be a meal... and what does it have to do with disciples, exactly?
student: well, the bread and booze was the Last Supper. Is that why prisoners on death row get a good meal? Because Jesus's last one sucked?
me: *blink, blink*
Me: uhh, I think you're a little confused. The Bread and wine was not served as the Last Supper.
Student: are you sure?
me: uhhhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
student: then why do we eat bread and wine at church?
me: because it's a symbol of Christ, of His sacrifice for mankind. the bread represents his body and the wine his blood.
student: oh. Well, what did they eat at the Last Supper?
me: I don't know.
student: tacos. Jesus is a Mexican name so it was probably tacos.
At this point, I didn't say a word. Sometimes it pays to just be quiet.
Maggie
I hope Zi-Cam saves me from a cold because kids are coughing and sneezing all over the place.
Channel locks and vice grips are NOT the same thing.
I miss the Wild West... their winters and their sunsets.
I've had it planned for 2 weeks for the Art Club kids to carve pumpkins next week. A fellow teacher came in today with a GREAT IDEA for Art Club. Gee, she said I should have them carve pumpkins. Gee, I already have the pumpkins ordered and a "Pimp Your Pumpkin" flier already printed.
I'm making a new collection... of pints of and Ben and Jerry's ice cream in my freezer. They have my name on them. In my freezer.
Conversation I had with a student:
student: I hate taking communion.
me: really?
student: Yeah. I bet the disciples went hungry.
me: uhhh, why's that?
student: well, if all you ate for a meal was a crumb of bread and a shot of grape juice you'd be hungry too.
me: well, it's not supposed to be a meal... and what does it have to do with disciples, exactly?
student: well, the bread and booze was the Last Supper. Is that why prisoners on death row get a good meal? Because Jesus's last one sucked?
me: *blink, blink*
Me: uhh, I think you're a little confused. The Bread and wine was not served as the Last Supper.
Student: are you sure?
me: uhhhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
student: then why do we eat bread and wine at church?
me: because it's a symbol of Christ, of His sacrifice for mankind. the bread represents his body and the wine his blood.
student: oh. Well, what did they eat at the Last Supper?
me: I don't know.
student: tacos. Jesus is a Mexican name so it was probably tacos.
At this point, I didn't say a word. Sometimes it pays to just be quiet.
Maggie
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A different sort of tradition
I went to a Seder last night. A friend of mine who's a Quaker, invited me to one at her church. A woman who's a member of her church is a Jew turned Christian and she hosted a Seder as a get to know other religious ceremonies and for more knowledge for Christians about what is now Passover.
In my quest to become Jewish, my friend asked me along because she thought I would think it would be interesting and it was.
We had a chance to sample the ceremonial foods served at a Seder and the presenter explained what they all meant. That was cool. I liked learning what it all means, the whys and whatnots behind it all.
The other thing that I thought was amazing and actually gave me goosebumps was the fact that last night was actually Passover. If we look at our calendars, it says it's today but the start of the Jewish Passover began at sundown last night, like most Jewish holidays. So last night, all over the world, in homes and at tables, all over the world, people were gathered together and shared the same story, the same foods, said the same prayers and sang the same songs. I had chills just thinking of that, of how powerful that is.
It was awe-inspiring to think that people of nations who believe the same thing went through the same ritual. It's not a simple, small thing, but it involves so many steps. I thought that was amazing and moving.
I'd love to have a chance to go to a Seder in someone's home and go through not only the ceremony but then stay for the family meals and celebration that comes after the ceremonial Seder traditions.
It was educational and fun, and powerful.
Maggie
In my quest to become Jewish, my friend asked me along because she thought I would think it would be interesting and it was.
We had a chance to sample the ceremonial foods served at a Seder and the presenter explained what they all meant. That was cool. I liked learning what it all means, the whys and whatnots behind it all.
The other thing that I thought was amazing and actually gave me goosebumps was the fact that last night was actually Passover. If we look at our calendars, it says it's today but the start of the Jewish Passover began at sundown last night, like most Jewish holidays. So last night, all over the world, in homes and at tables, all over the world, people were gathered together and shared the same story, the same foods, said the same prayers and sang the same songs. I had chills just thinking of that, of how powerful that is.
It was awe-inspiring to think that people of nations who believe the same thing went through the same ritual. It's not a simple, small thing, but it involves so many steps. I thought that was amazing and moving.
I'd love to have a chance to go to a Seder in someone's home and go through not only the ceremony but then stay for the family meals and celebration that comes after the ceremonial Seder traditions.
It was educational and fun, and powerful.
Maggie
Thursday, January 20, 2011
So ya gotta have faith...
The question of religion is coming up now that I declared that I don't think I'm an atheist. And it's funny because before I usually avoided religious conversations because people get offended or angry when they meet an atheist. And I don't want to make people angry or uncomfortable.
But since I said that here, it seems like religion is popping up everywhere. First, I've had several blog readers send email asking about it. I've also had several comments from readers in the comments section. Outside of the blog world, religion came up at work several times this week and it came up again today in a discussion of foster parenting.
I'm not really sure I can pinpoint my change of heart as far as religion goes. First and foremost, I want to say I am not ready to believe in Jesus, God, the Bible, or ready to commit to Christianity. I think I've become agnostic. I believe in a higher being of some kind, but am not really sure of who or what. I would say I'm not faithless any longer.
In reality, I would say I lean more toward Judaism than anything else.
And for those who wonder what changed my mind... that's sort of a weird evolution. I think it boils down to the fact that since I've started at Alcatraz, which is a faith based institution, and working with those kids, seeing them change and turn for good, seeing what they've survived in their home lives, hearing people's stories... well, it's influenced me. I also think I was called to serve at this place, at this time... it's not easy for me to say that but I really feel that's why I'm changing my ideology.
I don't know if that's a very good answer to any of this because I'm still sorting it out myself. It's interesting. It's challenging. It's... well, I guess it's faith.
Oh sheesh. Faith. Just what I need. I have a teenage son about ready to go to college, I'm looking for new housing, I might get married, I might be a foster parent, I have a fairly new job--- yeah, let's just toss God in here. Yeah, that helps a lot. Hmmmmm, looking at that list might indicate I could use some god.
I liked it when religion was Madonna and "Like A Prayer" or George Michael and "Ya Gotta have Faith".
Shalom,
Maggie Mae
But since I said that here, it seems like religion is popping up everywhere. First, I've had several blog readers send email asking about it. I've also had several comments from readers in the comments section. Outside of the blog world, religion came up at work several times this week and it came up again today in a discussion of foster parenting.
I'm not really sure I can pinpoint my change of heart as far as religion goes. First and foremost, I want to say I am not ready to believe in Jesus, God, the Bible, or ready to commit to Christianity. I think I've become agnostic. I believe in a higher being of some kind, but am not really sure of who or what. I would say I'm not faithless any longer.
In reality, I would say I lean more toward Judaism than anything else.
And for those who wonder what changed my mind... that's sort of a weird evolution. I think it boils down to the fact that since I've started at Alcatraz, which is a faith based institution, and working with those kids, seeing them change and turn for good, seeing what they've survived in their home lives, hearing people's stories... well, it's influenced me. I also think I was called to serve at this place, at this time... it's not easy for me to say that but I really feel that's why I'm changing my ideology.
I don't know if that's a very good answer to any of this because I'm still sorting it out myself. It's interesting. It's challenging. It's... well, I guess it's faith.
Oh sheesh. Faith. Just what I need. I have a teenage son about ready to go to college, I'm looking for new housing, I might get married, I might be a foster parent, I have a fairly new job--- yeah, let's just toss God in here. Yeah, that helps a lot. Hmmmmm, looking at that list might indicate I could use some god.
I liked it when religion was Madonna and "Like A Prayer" or George Michael and "Ya Gotta have Faith".
Shalom,
Maggie Mae
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Why oh why did I agree to the days of truth? Here are days 14-17
Back on October 12, I said I was going to do the 30 days of truth. At the time I thought it was a good idea and would be fun. But each time I write one of those posts, I get my lowest comments AND I get my lowest hits for the day. Also, and more importantly, I hate writing them. I feel like any brain creativity I have goes out the window and I can't seem to hit my writing groove.
But I will carry on and sally forth and all that rot because my mama didn't raise a quitter. And because today I need a stupid blog topic because for some reason the well is running dry. It could be because it's a holiday and I think my brain turned to a candied yam.
So, without further ado:
Day 14: A hero who has let you down (letter)
I don't have a hero who has let me down. I'm not even sure I have a hero. And I'm certainly not writing a letter if I did.
Yeah, I seriously thought about stopping here but I'm dragging this out so I shall continue. (Daddy-O suggested I just jump to something I want to write about on the list but that would be nothing.)
Day 15: Something or Someone you could live without, because you've tried living without it.
AlaskaSam. See previous answer to previous question.
See, some of these are repetitive. Maybe I should write my own 30 days of truth?
Day 16: Someone of something you definitely could live without.
My ex- husband. Click here to read about him (though why you'd want to I wouldn't know because he is such a dickhead), which I answered in a previous question.
See what I mean about repeating itself?
Day 17: a book you've read that changed your views on something
Okay, I can get totally get into this one! As a matter of fact I could write about 30 books that changed my views- maybe that's a list?!
The Year of Living Biblically. The long and the short of this memoir is that author AJ Jacobs decided to spend one year living biblically, or following the rules of the Bible in a literal sense.
But this memoir was so much more than that. The cover of the book lends the reader to think it's probably pretty funny, and it is, much of the time. But there's so much more to it than that; it's following his journey to discover 'something' through religion. His quest took him to a snake handler in Tennessee, Amish country, a gay Evangelical Bible study, an Evangelical church, and into the world of the Hasidic Jews- and much, much more.
This was funny, but to me it was more fascinating and educational. I enjoyed peeping into his daily routine as he tried to live a more Biblical life. I found this to be a thoroughly fun AND an educational read.
As a person who was raised United Methodist and has become an atheist (though a very not very dedicated and rather lax one at that), I found this book gave me lots of food for thought; it's been awhile since I read a book and highlighted passages and took notes; and was reading with about 4 versions of the Bible at hand to look up stuff he mentioned. I liked the dichotomy he found within the Bible and all the different religions' interpretation of the holy word.
Maybe I'm not really a lapsed Methodist and a bad atheist. I'm something, I think, but I'm not sure what. SO, yes, the book changed my view. It didn't solve anything for me, but it made me think and some days that just has to be enough.
So Mr Jacobs, in case you're still Googling yourself and find this post, I LOVED this book and I appreciate your efforts in the year you were biblical. Thanks for providing something that stimulated my interest as well as my brain. It was so good I bought a copy to highlight rather than defacing the public library copy!
But I will carry on and sally forth and all that rot because my mama didn't raise a quitter. And because today I need a stupid blog topic because for some reason the well is running dry. It could be because it's a holiday and I think my brain turned to a candied yam.
So, without further ado:
Day 14: A hero who has let you down (letter)
I don't have a hero who has let me down. I'm not even sure I have a hero. And I'm certainly not writing a letter if I did.
Yeah, I seriously thought about stopping here but I'm dragging this out so I shall continue. (Daddy-O suggested I just jump to something I want to write about on the list but that would be nothing.)
Day 15: Something or Someone you could live without, because you've tried living without it.
AlaskaSam. See previous answer to previous question.
See, some of these are repetitive. Maybe I should write my own 30 days of truth?
Day 16: Someone of something you definitely could live without.
My ex- husband. Click here to read about him (though why you'd want to I wouldn't know because he is such a dickhead), which I answered in a previous question.
See what I mean about repeating itself?
Day 17: a book you've read that changed your views on something
Okay, I can get totally get into this one! As a matter of fact I could write about 30 books that changed my views- maybe that's a list?!
The Year of Living Biblically. The long and the short of this memoir is that author AJ Jacobs decided to spend one year living biblically, or following the rules of the Bible in a literal sense.
But this memoir was so much more than that. The cover of the book lends the reader to think it's probably pretty funny, and it is, much of the time. But there's so much more to it than that; it's following his journey to discover 'something' through religion. His quest took him to a snake handler in Tennessee, Amish country, a gay Evangelical Bible study, an Evangelical church, and into the world of the Hasidic Jews- and much, much more.
This was funny, but to me it was more fascinating and educational. I enjoyed peeping into his daily routine as he tried to live a more Biblical life. I found this to be a thoroughly fun AND an educational read.
As a person who was raised United Methodist and has become an atheist (though a very not very dedicated and rather lax one at that), I found this book gave me lots of food for thought; it's been awhile since I read a book and highlighted passages and took notes; and was reading with about 4 versions of the Bible at hand to look up stuff he mentioned. I liked the dichotomy he found within the Bible and all the different religions' interpretation of the holy word.
Maybe I'm not really a lapsed Methodist and a bad atheist. I'm something, I think, but I'm not sure what. SO, yes, the book changed my view. It didn't solve anything for me, but it made me think and some days that just has to be enough.
So Mr Jacobs, in case you're still Googling yourself and find this post, I LOVED this book and I appreciate your efforts in the year you were biblical. Thanks for providing something that stimulated my interest as well as my brain. It was so good I bought a copy to highlight rather than defacing the public library copy!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Conversation with Mac the Holy One & a meme
Mac: Dude, I'm totally Christ.
me: what are you talking about?
Mac: check out the stigmata on my hands and feet!
me: those are mosquito bites.
Mac: bet you would've told Jesus that, wouldn't you?
me: probably...
Mac: You. Are. Such. A. HEATHEN!
****
And here's a meme, because this was short. Funny but short. Thanks Sunday Stealing...
1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
yes, I think so. But I wasn't that unhappy 5 months ago, really
2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
oh yeah
3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
oh yeah
4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
Are you still married, and if so then why are you calling me?
5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
it's hot and it sucks and I hate it with a passion matched by nothing else
6. How many people do you trust with everything?
I trust no one with EVERYthing, but I trust several people with little bits
7. What was the last thing you drank?
cherry kool-aid, yes that means I drank the kool-aid; oh yeah
8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
yes- Gulo
9. Name one thing you love about winter?
that's it not hot like summer
10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
yes. His name was JD and he had a ton of piercings
11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
hopefully feeling better
12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
I'm sick with a summer cold and I need a hair trim and it's hot
13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
I dunno
14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Blew my nose
15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
yes- recently, it was ITSam
16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
yes
17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
oh hella no
18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?
oh they might change a little bit... new job, get married, move into a new house, get health insurance... you know, the small stuff
19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
I have no idea. I'm more of a believer in "with age comes wisdom"
20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
not really. Not someone who is just a "friend"
me: what are you talking about?
Mac: check out the stigmata on my hands and feet!
me: those are mosquito bites.
Mac: bet you would've told Jesus that, wouldn't you?
me: probably...
Mac: You. Are. Such. A. HEATHEN!
****
And here's a meme, because this was short. Funny but short. Thanks Sunday Stealing...
1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
yes, I think so. But I wasn't that unhappy 5 months ago, really
2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
oh yeah
3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
oh yeah
4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?
Are you still married, and if so then why are you calling me?
5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
it's hot and it sucks and I hate it with a passion matched by nothing else
6. How many people do you trust with everything?
I trust no one with EVERYthing, but I trust several people with little bits
7. What was the last thing you drank?
cherry kool-aid, yes that means I drank the kool-aid; oh yeah
8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
yes- Gulo
9. Name one thing you love about winter?
that's it not hot like summer
10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
yes. His name was JD and he had a ton of piercings
11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
hopefully feeling better
12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
I'm sick with a summer cold and I need a hair trim and it's hot
13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
I dunno
14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Blew my nose
15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
yes- recently, it was ITSam
16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
yes
17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
oh hella no
18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?
oh they might change a little bit... new job, get married, move into a new house, get health insurance... you know, the small stuff
19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
I have no idea. I'm more of a believer in "with age comes wisdom"
20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
not really. Not someone who is just a "friend"
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Runway to Heaven
There is some religious group in my community where the women wear long skirts, have really long hair and don't wear make-up. They don't wear any head coverings. Clothes don't look hand-made. They drive, have electricity and don't seem to have a huge plethora of kids. I have no idea what the religion is, and I really don't care actually, but it's the dress of the women that struck me.
There were a bunch of these women were at Wally World the other day (yeah, I seem to spend a lot of time at Wal-Mart. Just don't ask...) So anyway, I noticed that they all had on long denim skirts. All the way to the ground denim. They also had on tennis shoes. This, overall, was not a fashion statement of the good. It was not attractive at all. While the women were not necessarily ugly, these unbecoming fashion make them all look very, very short. And sort of stumpy. They were thin, but frumpy-looking. Is that the point?
Back in the Wild West I wore a long denim skirt, a pair of pink cowboy boots, a western shirt and a cool belt and I was looking stylish. I was "in"- I was cool. The more I looked at these women, the more I realized several things about myself.
First, I wanted to rush home and hem all my denim skirts short because I didn't want to be confused as a member of this religion, since I have a non-god issue. Then I thought about it. I could never be confused as a member of this religion because of several things. My hair is way too short- right now I'm sporting a very short pixie cut, short for even pixie standards, so my hair isn't long enough to either hang to my ass or put up in a HUGE bun. And speaking of ass, my ass is waaaaaaay to big to be a member of this church. I swear, ever single one of these women are tiny. Small. Thin. Skinny. There is no way I could belong since I have a fat ass, junk in the trunk, loot in the boot, whatever you want to say, I am just not skinny enough to be there.
And I have fashion sense, which is obviously missing here. I am not a fashion snob- I don't make enough money to be such, and I'm also not a perfect size 5 so not all fashions are meant for me so a fashion snob I am not. But I like to look nice and I try be neat and stylish. Not frumpy. I like clothes. And when I see these women they are always in really really long skirts, denim during the week (their answer to wearing jeans if they were allowed to sport pants?) or floral on Saturdays and Sundays- or dresses with really big flowers on them.
Do you think people with short hair are banned? Are fat people banned? Would I have to grow my hair and lose 25 pounds to join? What if I could make a big financial donation? I do own the long ugly denim skirt and have some tennis socks, after all. Do you think the women are given a brochure of clothes and hair dos and don'ts? Do you think they have a religious version of "What not to Wear"? OMG- I just can't see Clinton and Stacey hosting anything like this... And if this was catching on as a big fashion statement, then how come I'm not seeing a Versace or Armani "God Wear" or "Church" line of clothing?
I dunno. While I'm not religious, I really wonder if God cares what we wear. Is someone wearing a frumpy deim skirt, tennis socks with an ankle ball, no make up, hair to their butts and a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt going to get to heaven before a person in jeans and a Harvard t-shirt sporting eye shadow and loafers? It just seems to be a funny part of a religion to me.
Hey, I'm just sayin'!
Off to hem my skirts,
Maggie
There were a bunch of these women were at Wally World the other day (yeah, I seem to spend a lot of time at Wal-Mart. Just don't ask...) So anyway, I noticed that they all had on long denim skirts. All the way to the ground denim. They also had on tennis shoes. This, overall, was not a fashion statement of the good. It was not attractive at all. While the women were not necessarily ugly, these unbecoming fashion make them all look very, very short. And sort of stumpy. They were thin, but frumpy-looking. Is that the point?
Back in the Wild West I wore a long denim skirt, a pair of pink cowboy boots, a western shirt and a cool belt and I was looking stylish. I was "in"- I was cool. The more I looked at these women, the more I realized several things about myself.
First, I wanted to rush home and hem all my denim skirts short because I didn't want to be confused as a member of this religion, since I have a non-god issue. Then I thought about it. I could never be confused as a member of this religion because of several things. My hair is way too short- right now I'm sporting a very short pixie cut, short for even pixie standards, so my hair isn't long enough to either hang to my ass or put up in a HUGE bun. And speaking of ass, my ass is waaaaaaay to big to be a member of this church. I swear, ever single one of these women are tiny. Small. Thin. Skinny. There is no way I could belong since I have a fat ass, junk in the trunk, loot in the boot, whatever you want to say, I am just not skinny enough to be there.
And I have fashion sense, which is obviously missing here. I am not a fashion snob- I don't make enough money to be such, and I'm also not a perfect size 5 so not all fashions are meant for me so a fashion snob I am not. But I like to look nice and I try be neat and stylish. Not frumpy. I like clothes. And when I see these women they are always in really really long skirts, denim during the week (their answer to wearing jeans if they were allowed to sport pants?) or floral on Saturdays and Sundays- or dresses with really big flowers on them.
Do you think people with short hair are banned? Are fat people banned? Would I have to grow my hair and lose 25 pounds to join? What if I could make a big financial donation? I do own the long ugly denim skirt and have some tennis socks, after all. Do you think the women are given a brochure of clothes and hair dos and don'ts? Do you think they have a religious version of "What not to Wear"? OMG- I just can't see Clinton and Stacey hosting anything like this... And if this was catching on as a big fashion statement, then how come I'm not seeing a Versace or Armani "God Wear" or "Church" line of clothing?
I dunno. While I'm not religious, I really wonder if God cares what we wear. Is someone wearing a frumpy deim skirt, tennis socks with an ankle ball, no make up, hair to their butts and a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt going to get to heaven before a person in jeans and a Harvard t-shirt sporting eye shadow and loafers? It just seems to be a funny part of a religion to me.
Hey, I'm just sayin'!
Off to hem my skirts,
Maggie
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Brief comment on church
I do not answer the door during the day because it never fails to be Jehovah Witnesses, selling their god door to door and that just pisses me off. If I wanted to worship that way, wouldn't I just show up at the church?
Would they go away if I told them I was an atheist or screamed "OOOOOOO, now I have someone for my sacrificial ritual!"
I wish they would just stay the hell off my doorstep AND it also irritates me that they leave literature... can't they see the sign that says clearly "No solicitors."
Hell, the banging on the door came at just the right time because I had nothing to blog about... and maybe I would've been better off to just skip today altogether.
Would they go away if I told them I was an atheist or screamed "OOOOOOO, now I have someone for my sacrificial ritual!"
I wish they would just stay the hell off my doorstep AND it also irritates me that they leave literature... can't they see the sign that says clearly "No solicitors."
Hell, the banging on the door came at just the right time because I had nothing to blog about... and maybe I would've been better off to just skip today altogether.
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