Why blog?

I have a lot of personal back story to tell about what's happening with me in the last 9 months. I've taken to Twitter and I've found time for that medium; blogging seems to take more of my brain power than I often have at the end of a day, but I've missed blogging and I've had the desire to write. I've been writing letters to my penpals all over the world, to my friends, and to my family. I've been writing a journal, addressing each entry like a letter to Mac. When each one gets full, I give it to him. Bottom line, though, I've missed blog writing and blog reading. I feel like I need to let my brain do something creative daily- I'm going to be very unhappy if I don't get my creative outlet.

Didn't I hear somewhere that if people want to write they should write every day, even if they write something every day?

Oh, I do write every day but not creatively. I write hundreds of emails. I write reports. I do research projects and compile abstracts (or summations) of what I researched for my boss. I write instant messages to staff. I write contracts and proposals, so yes I do write but nothing fun.

One thing hasn't changed, I still with I could be a writer. I'd love to write a book.

If I could train my brain I'd work my day job and then come home and write for several hours at night. But I can't do it. Maybe "can't" isn't the right word. I spend all day, for 8-10 hours a day in front of three computers. My brain works hard. At night, there's laundry to do and dinner to be fixed, cleaning to be... cleaned? I have at least a 1 hour commute home. I'm in a small apartment- small to the tune of 600 square feet- with 2 other adults and my 69 pound Greyhound Giles. I seriously have my computer in the corner of the living room, instead of having a dining table. My computer is next to a 50 inch television. I am NOT whining and I am not complaining. I'm really trying to give a realistic representation of how challenging it would be to write.

By the time I make my hour commute home, fix dinner, eat, dishes and would leave to go to the local Starbucks to write, I would have about 1.5 hours before they close.

I'm not whining or complaining but it certainly does sound like excuses. Yeah, all that you can do anything you put your mind to it stuff-- I'm almost 43 years old and I'm tired.

So blogging... yeah. That's part of the reason I'm blogging again. I need a creative outlet. I like an audience who isn't going to redline my work. I want to pretend I'm a writer.

Thanks for reading me and giving me an audience, for being my audience.

Letting the writing commence,

Maggie

Think Kit 15: How's your cursive?

The answer to the blog post title is: terrible!!!! I was in elementary school when we still learned to write in cursive. We even received grades for "penmanship"! We had books where we had to trace the letters with our fingers, then with pencils, and then practice over and over again on the beige paper with the blue lined grids. I would try over and over and never really could make my letters right, loops in the wrong places, uneven heights of my letters, tails too long. And what is with a capital cursive Q? Can anyone actually make one of those correctly? Handwriting has NEVER been my strong point.

Even though I'm a teacher I never seemed to achieve the "perfect teacher writing." You know that perfect writing with all the correct loops and such. I write in a dutchy mix of cursive and printing, interspersing capitals and lowercase at weird spots.  Also, my students always hated it when I would have to put notes on the board because i would write big and small, and usually uphill. Thank goodness for the advent of PowerPoint, projectors and Smart-boards!

And now that I spend most of my days in front of a computer, my handwriting has gotten even worse. To stay in practice, I hand-write a daily journal and of course my writing is loopy and big, or small and cramped, an ugly mix of cursive and printing, capitals and lowercase, all in the wrong places-- yes, still sprinkled with my writing idiosyncrasies. I also hand write letters. Lots of letters. I try really hard to print and write neatly. But my mind starts whirling and I write (scribble?) faster and faster, trying to get my thoughts on paper as quickly as I can, my writing unable to keep up with my mind and my writing looks a jumble.

Do I dare even mention that I have arthritis in certain fingers and parts of my hands so add those aches to the writing process and... well, I could end up teaching "How to write like a Doctor 101"...

So, without further ado... handwriting from me to you:

1000?!? Oh wow...

I've been thinking of this post for about 2 weeks now. I have no idea what to write. I've blogged 1000 posts, as of today.

1000 posts. Here at this blog.

It's funny because of my last blog. When I had my last blog, my 1000th post was my last. I was moving back here from the Wild West and I reinvented my blogger self. And now I've reached that magical 1000 again. I think it's cool.

I've posted 1000 times, here at "shoes/ purses." I feel like I should have some words of wisdom or do a review of my blog or of my self, some huge assessment, pointing out things I've learned about me. It feels like a blogging version of New Year's Eve... and you all know I hate New Year's Eve.

I thought about going through my blog and linking some of my favorite stuff here. But a 1000 posts is a lot, and I wrote some great stuff, and some shit. I'd rather let you all surf my blog yourself, if you feel the need. Do you have a favorite post?

For a 1000 post, this is rather disjointed and rambling, like I have some expectation that I can't live up to, which is my own doing. I feel like I should have something astounding to say but I don't.

When Lilith and I were together last, I told her I've come up with a new blog. I think if I ever get a new job and I move out of Daddy-O's attic, I'll start a new blog and a new identity then. I like reinventing myself online, though essentially, no matter the title, the moniker, the colors, it's still always ME when I post. Anyone who knows me in person or has chatted with me via email or phone, knows that my true self is revealed in my writing.

So maybe that's the amazing part of 1000 posts. I'm willing to reveal something about me?

Actually, what I think it amazing is that ya'll read me, over and over. That amazes ME. And pleases me.

So thank you to my readers. Thank you to all of you who blog and give me something to read. Thank you to all the friends I've made because of blogging. thank you for always commenting and giving advise, for being kind and funny and silly and insightful. I think I have the nicest blog readers in all of blog-ville. You all are wonderful; thank you for being here for me, for indulging me. That's how I feel. That there's a great group of people who indulge me by letting me write and blather and you all give feed back. I feel so blessed that you tolerate me! Thank you so much!

And because I love you and appreciate you, I have a little present. Leave me a comment and I'll send you a little something. You don't have to be a follower or join. Actually, I really am thinking of my peeps who are here daily (or every few days) and who've been around for awhile. I have addresses for many of you already. Watch your mail.

Here's to 1000 posts, and here's to a 1000 more.

many thanks to you all & lots of pink lipstick-y kisses,

Maggie Mae O'Sullivan, blogger

Day 25 and Day 26 of the Truth challenge

In an effort to finish this truth writing challenge, and because I am just not feeling the writing right now, here are 2 days combined into one:

Day 25: The Reason You Believe You're Still Alive Today

I think it's because it's not my time. For whatever reason, I'm still here. Have I done stupid things that should've resulted in my death- well, probably. A poor driving moment, drinking way too much, walking in a scary part of town after dark-- all those things could've resulted in my death, I suppose.

The bottom line is that, as funny and wonderful fellow blogger Wiley would say, The big Chicken isn't ready to take me yet.

Thankfully.

Day 26: Have You ever thought of giving up on life? If so, when and why?

When I read that I interpret it as a "have you thought of killing yourself" sort of question, and the answer to that is NO. I'm too much of a big chicken. I don't like pain. And what if it didn't work and I was half paralyzed or a vegetable or something horrid like that? Or if it didn't work, and I was fine, but everyone would know that I was the person to tried to commit suicide. I would also end up in jail if it didn't work. In the state in which I dwell, it's against the law to kill yourself. Punishable by jail time. And I don't want to go to prison. I don't look good in florescent orange or horizontal stripes.

Another way to look at this would be to just give up on life like become a hermit or disappear and become another person. There are times when I wished I had about cash to buy another identity and move away and become someone else. It's usually when I'm depressed about money and my life, but those moments are very few and far between, and so fleeting that I can't really remember a specific "when" those thoughts occurred. And frankly, when those thoughts do occur I get so wrapped up in thinking about where I would go, what name I would give myself, the job I could do, and the fake fantasy life I create, I usually forget to be upset.

Only 4 more days of this to go!

Maggie

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

I haven't given up on the 30 days of truth... yet. And since today is the day after Christmas and a Sunday I figure readership will already be low so I'd write a semi- uninteresting post that no one will read anyway on a day when few people will read.

This is a playlist, of sorts, to me. In reality it's a list of my ring tones and who I've assigned certain songs, and why. I had to change this up a little or it would've been sort of schmaltzy list or a sad one if I went with just regular old tunes, so here's something a little more fun.

1. "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett is assigned to my friend sam/P because she lives in Florida and she, like me, likes to occasionally have an adult libation.

2. "Your Song" by Elton John to ITSam because it's a song he sang to me once, (He has a lovely voice) and it's one of his favorites.

3. "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin to Mac because it's a loud song and I want to hear it when it rings, I have no other ring tone even remotely close to that sound, and because Led Zeppelin is one of his all time favorite music groups on earth.

4. "Soul Sister" by Train to XRay Girl because she's my soul sister and because I like the song (and Train is a favorite of mine).

5. "We are family" by Sister Sledge is assigned to DNice and Gulo because they're part of my (even long distance) family of girlfriends.

6. "Piano Man" by Billy Joel is assigned to Daddy-O because he plays the piano and he and I are both HUGE Billy fans. HUGE!

7. "Glitter in the Air" by Pink is assigned to my friend Lilith because I love this song and it's one of my favorites so I assigned it to one of my favorite people I love and who's a favorite!

8. "Love You Till The End" by the Pogues is a ring tone I gave to a Sam who lives in Ireland. He's a friend. He doesn't call often but it's there, just in case. He's a person i care about a great deal. The Pogues are an Irish band that I like to it's a good choice all the way around.

9. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz is assigned to Curly, much for the same reasons as I picked a song for Lilith. I love this song and it's one of my favorites so I assigned it to one of my favorite people I love and who's a favorite!

10. "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen is assigned to my school and plays whenever they call me. It's my own little "heeheehee" moment.

11. "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield is my default ringtone because one time Mac said it was the most annoying song he had ever heard and I wanted to mess with him.

The battle through the 30 truths continues with Days 18-23

As you all know I'm trying to get through it, sticking to it, not giving up, showing perseverance, of the 30 days of truth, even though I don't wanna. And though I was given good advice that I don't have to finish it if I don't want, I still have the Midwest ethic of never giving up. So here goes:

Day 18- your views of on gay marriage
I have one view- support it, legalize it,

Day 19- What do you think of religion? Or politics?
I try to not think of either very often. My family always said to not talk about either in public, at the table or with strangers because it wasn't polite.

Day 20- Your views on drugs and alcohol.
I view both with pleasure. I support both. I think marijuana should be legal and I like to drink. A lot and often.

Day 21- Your best friend got into an accident one hour after you had a fight. What do you do?
Go to her. She's my best friend, fight be damned. Who cares?

Day 22- Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.
Repetitive as I answered this already- married SD.

Day 23- something you wish you had done in your life.
Married AlaskaSam all those years ago when I had the chance.

Why oh why did I agree to the days of truth? Here are days 14-17

Back on October 12, I said I was going to do the 30 days of truth. At the time I thought it was a good idea and would be fun. But each time I write one of those posts, I get my lowest comments AND I get my lowest hits for the day. Also, and more importantly, I hate writing them. I feel like any brain creativity I have goes out the window and I can't seem to hit my writing groove.

But I will carry on and sally forth and all that rot because my mama didn't raise a quitter. And because today I need a stupid blog topic because for some reason the well is running dry. It could be because it's a holiday and I think my brain turned to a candied yam.

So, without further ado:

Day 14: A hero who has let you down (letter)
I don't have a hero who has let me down. I'm not even sure I have a hero. And I'm certainly not writing a letter if I did.

Yeah, I seriously thought about stopping here but I'm dragging this out so I shall continue. (Daddy-O suggested I just jump to something I want to write about on the list but that would be nothing.)

Day 15: Something or Someone you could live without, because you've tried living without it.
AlaskaSam. See previous answer to previous question.

See, some of these are repetitive. Maybe I should write my own 30 days of truth?

Day 16: Someone of something you definitely could live without.
My ex- husband. Click here to read about him (though why you'd want to I wouldn't know because he is such a dickhead), which I answered in a previous question.

See what I mean about repeating itself?

Day 17: a book you've read that changed your views on something
Okay, I can get totally get into this one! As a matter of fact I could write about 30 books that changed my views- maybe that's a list?!

The Year of Living Biblically. The long and the short of this memoir is that author AJ Jacobs decided to spend one year living biblically, or following the rules of the Bible in a literal sense.

But this memoir was so much more than that. The cover of the book lends the reader to think it's probably pretty funny, and it is, much of the time. But there's so much more to it than that; it's following his journey to discover 'something' through religion. His quest took him to a snake handler in Tennessee, Amish country, a gay Evangelical Bible study, an Evangelical church, and into the world of the Hasidic Jews- and much, much more.

This was funny, but to me it was more fascinating and educational. I enjoyed peeping into his daily routine as he tried to live a more Biblical life. I found this to be a thoroughly fun AND an educational read.

As a person who was raised United Methodist and has become an atheist (though a very not very dedicated and rather lax one at that), I found this book gave me lots of food for thought; it's been awhile since I read a book and highlighted passages and took notes; and was reading with about 4 versions of the Bible at hand to look up stuff he mentioned. I liked the dichotomy he found within the Bible and all the different religions' interpretation of the holy word.

Maybe I'm not really a lapsed Methodist and a bad atheist. I'm something, I think, but I'm not sure what. SO, yes, the book changed my view. It didn't solve anything for me, but it made me think and some days that just has to be enough.

So Mr Jacobs, in case you're still Googling yourself and find this post, I LOVED this book and I appreciate your efforts in the year you were biblical. Thanks for providing something that stimulated my interest as well as my brain. It was so good I bought a copy to highlight rather than defacing the public library copy!

Day 13- music

Day 13 is supposed to be about music that has gotten me through really tough times. Interesting because...

I don't feel like music has gotten me through tough times; I feel like my friends and family do that. When things go wrong in life I tend to either verbally spit it out to friends and family members, and my blog family, (Uhhhh- did that sound totally cheesy?) or I keep to myself and stew, fret and sleep.

Music, however, can sooth a mood. It certainly doesn't "get me through" but it can help offer relaxation. Or sometimes I get totally crazy and play "music that makes me feel better" or "music to think by."

Music that will relax me:

• Classical with "Cannon in D" being my favorite piece but I listen to others, including Vivaldi, "Nocturne in G Minor", " Etude in C Minor, Op10, No. 12", "Piano Concerto #12", "Rhapsody in Blue", "Fur Elise", "Moonlight Sonata", "Butterfly Etude", "Minute Waltz", etc...
  
• Opera. This is a new passion but I'm quickly becoming a fan. I'm a fan of Italian operas especially and I love "La boheme"!
  
• Barry Manilow, Babs (that's Barbara Streisand for those not in the know) and big band/ swing music.
• Michael Buble
  

I think the list of music that relaxes me makes me sound like a huge dork.

Music that helps me think:

• I can't seem to name one artist. it's music that can play and I don't think about it. Maybe music I turn on and don't really "listen" too? It's the kind of music that can make background noise but won't distract me. And sometimes that varies, depending on the mood. Sometimes it's just anything on the radio. Other times it's my ipod. I can say that MOST of the time, but not all, but most, the Beatles fall right here. I can't explain it-sorry.
  

Finally, music that makes me feel better... well, disclaimer here. This is music that I consider my standby stuff. It's the stuff I go back to again and again, songs where I know all the words, songs that give me good memories... usually these are songs rather than artists but there are few groups/ people who are my go-to..

• Billy Joel
• Bon Jovi
• Michael Buble
• Train
• Lenny Kravitz
• Avril Lavigne's "Let Go" album
• Madonna (Like A Prayer or before, not the newer, weirder stuff. I like my Madonna in the 80s, early 90s, and slutty, without the stupid British accent, all "Like a Virgin"-esque)
  
• Green Day
  
• Jewel
• "Purple Rain" by Prince. The song, not the whole album. (I think there's a whole post in this song alone... *ahem*)
  
• 80s music
• John Mellencamp (not his new crap, but the era of Lonesome Jubilee or older)
• Anything I can sing along with, in a loud bawdy voice
• Show tunes and soundtracks (Footloose, Mamma Mia, Chicago, Walk the Line)
  

Music that gets me through... with a little help from my friends. Hey, isn't that a song?

Mags

Days 11 and 12 are about compliments

I decided with these 30 days of truths if I don't get with it, I should never finish and drag it out until I'm 40, so here are two at a time. They are related so I've decided it's fine to combine these particular two. And that probably means I'll combine more in the future. Then kvetsch when I have no blog material. But I can cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now, I want to finish the 30 days of truth since I started it. So, without further ado, here are 11 and 12:

Day 11: Something people compliment you on the most
People generally tell me all the time how happy I am. Most folks compliment on having a positive attitude. Obviously that's been missing of late, due to so many things, but for the most part, I get complimented on being energetic and enthusiastic.

There's sort of a funny story on that compliment. I've been interviewed for two different jobs in the very recent past. I have not gotten either job because the people hiring feel the job is too "boring" or "conservative" for someone with my energy and enthusiasm. Something that seems my biggest "positive" has, apparently, been a hindrance.

Day 12: something people never compliment you on
Something people never compliment me on are my looks, or my physical appearance. They just don't. I think I have pretty eyes but they're hidden behind my glasses. I can have good hair but I think Daddy-O told me that my hair was... fluffy? Wide? Oh no, his word was BUSHY! (I prefer to think of it as fluffy!)

Regardless, people rarely compliment me on how I look. I'm sure that's quite telling, but I'm going to pretend I don't know what it tells.

However, there are a few times when my beauty has been complimented and I might as well put a positive spin on this. (I have this urge to do that; see above for why) There are some that have stuck with me since I heard them years and years ago.

The fourth best compliment regarding my looks, that I had in my life is one that I will always remember. I was told by a Sam many years ago that my stretch marks are beautiful because they are " a badge of motherhood and what could be more beautiful than that?"

The third best compliment in my life came from a woman. As we all know, I just adore men. Love, love, love me some men. But this.... well...I have always said the best men are married, gay or dead. Well, let's explore gay. And "he" is really a she in this compliment giving story. She's was a gay woman and she was with her partner for about 10 years at the time. I had known them both for about 4 years. We were all singing karaoke and she can sing. I mean, SING- she should be a professional. She has an amazing voice and each time she sings I get chills. The compliment she gave me was that every time she hears the song "You're Beautiful"(by James Blunt) she thinks of me. She said this describes how she feels about me to a tee. And she thinks I am beautiful.

AlaskaSam gave me the two best compliments of my entire life, tied for first place. The set up for one of them: we were in a class together and he and I had a heated debate during class. When the professor excused us for a break, AlaskaSam followed me outside onto the grassy noll (called the mall). He is hollering after me to stop and turn around. I did, and he walked right up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, merely inches from my face, and he said as far as the class discussion went I was dead wrong, that I was beautiful when I was angry and I was damn sexy. Then he turned and walked away- leaving me there standing with my mouth agape. My brilliant comeback: "I wasn't wrong...And, um, thanks!"

The second AlaskaSam compliment was one he said at random, I think. And I don't think it was solely on looks. I think it meant me as an overall person. Anyway... I don't remember what we were doing, where we were or if it was even in person or over the phone. He told me I am the kind of woman men go to war over. Damn...That was great.

So while most don't compliment me on my looks, I have these that stand out.
Mags

Days of truth- Day 10

The 30 days of truth continues with "Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know", which is day number 10. (Yes, I plan to finish this someday... maybe)

This is a really diverse question I think. Someone I need to let go isn't necessarily someone I wish I never knew. I wish I never knew SD but I sure have let him go.

The answer is that I probably should've let AlaskaSam go along time ago. For those of you who know me well, know the history I have with that man. Those who read my previous blog, with the past moniker, know the sad, sordid, saga. Those who don't know.... well...

I was married and in college and AlaskaSam and I met and fell in love. Then I got divorced but he was in engaged. He dumped his fiance and I was living with someone. We are the royalty of bad timing. He gave me an ultimatum: move to Alaska or lose me forever. I didn't go. A year later I was ready and he was engaged and said to never call him again. Ten years later, we end up in contact; he's married and I'm single. We meet again, he decides to get a divorce but then doesn't and now we are friends.

I can't explain our connection but he is the only man I've ever loved, and probably will be the only one I ever will. We have a sense of telepathy that's crazy. We are true soul mates who could never get our acts together.

There's obviously more to this story than I could ever tell in one blog post or hundreds. But I love him and miss him every day.

Could be why I can't let him go. And never will.

Maggie Mae O'Sullivan

Day 9- Someone you didn't want to let go but just drifted

The 30 days of truth continue...

I've wracked my brain to come up with a person and I can't think of anyone who stands out.

I had an ex boyfriend that I stayed in contact with (yeah, you're probably asking which one I'm talking about) who needed a kidney transplant. We lost touch a few years ago (about 4 now?) and I think it was because he was so sick he was losing touch with lots of his friends.

Then I found out through a mutual friend he did get a kidney and was alive and kicking and somewhere. I have no other news of him. I had an old cell phone number of his that I've called a few times and it's still his voice on the voice mail recording but he's never called back.

He was a nice guy but had lots of issues and I couldn't help him or save him. He didn't want help at the time. But I do miss him because he was so funny, hilarious. He was handsome. He had a great voice- I loved to hear him sing. His voice was sexy and he was good in bed. He had a brilliant mind. I guess that sounds sort of like a eulogy and I don't mean it to be but since I've lost contact with him over 4 years ago, it sort of is like a death- the death of a friendship.

I moved to the Wild West and he was here. He lost his job when he got really sick so he lost his Internet. The time change screwed with out phone calls and one day led to a week to a month and then suddenly *poof* the friendship was gone.

There you have it. I still miss him.

Mags

Day 8- who made my life hell

For day 8 of the 30 days of truth, I'm supposed to write about someone who made my life hell. Again, this is an easy one and it's also a cop out: my ex- husband, the Sperm Donor.

He's an asshole and I could use a whole stream of expletives to describe him.

But here's a little story, instead, to demonstrate his complete and utter lack of character:

Two weeks before Christmas 2009 SD kicked Mac out of his house because he didn't like that Mac argued with him and his wife. I talked to Mac AND the ex about it and that's what it came down to. He didn't like how Mac talked to him. While the rest of the teenagers in the country are smart-mouths to their parents, my ex kicks his son out because he can. Furthermore, since then, they tried to mend fences. When I called SD, that is. When I convinced Mac to call, that is. Then I would orchestrate meetings because I could see how much the estrangement was hurting Mac.

It didn't work. So they barely spoke. SD didn't go to Mac's school play last year when he was Alice in Wonderland, he didn't go to his choir concert when he solo-ed, he didn't even show up for his awards program. He wouldn't take his phone calls.

Then in June, Mac tried to use his iTunes account and lo and behold it was cancelled. Mac called SD to see why and they fought. Mac was in tears and screaming and practically hysterical. Since that day in June, not one word has been spoke to SD from this house or his.

SD is a childish brat and he will not realize he is the parent and Mac is the child. He will not offer the olive branch. He will not see he was wrong, and he was. He will not try to make amends. He is a person who is always right while all the rest of us are wrong. He doesn't bend. He isn't kind nor considerate and he could care less how Mac feels. He doesn't call Mac. Mac is hurt, mad and angry. Mac is a senior and having a school year of wonderful successes but his father is being a jerk and having no contact. He will not speak to me, either, which is maybe a good thing.

Mac is hurt and mad. SD is a horror or a human being, a worthless bag of air taking up valuable space on this planet, and taking away resources from those of us who are productive.

He's hurting MY son. So when I talk about a person who makes my life hell, I quickly point a finger to my ex because while he isn't directly bothering me (I enjoy the silence; I pretend like he's dead) he hurts Mac so that hurts me. Mac hurts, and I bleed.

Sperm Donor is evil.

Maggie

Day 7- Someone who's made your life worth living

The 30 days of truth continue with Someone who's made my life worth living.

This is an easy one, and I know some people will say,"duh, what a cop out" but I'm going to say Mac. My son.

He's amazing. He's the future. he my great hope for all things good int he world. he's on the cusp of adulthood, ready to jump into the abyss that is life and he's made my life Cape Diem. He's everything good that is me. He's everything bad that is me. He's is own person. He has an infectious sense of humor- dry, smart, and often silly.

He thinks. He challenges. He laughs and is just generally a good person. he makes me see things differently.

There are times when I've played the game :If you could go back to any point in your life and change someone, when would it be? I know when it would be but that means I wouldn't have Mac. So no deal.

At some points in life, I've chosen paths that aren't always easy, but it they have been my choices. And even when my bad choices have affected him, he's still always smiling, loving me, and just the reason that I put one foot in front of the other.

No matter what I've done, right or wrong, it all culminates with Mac. He's my greatest accomplishment, my greatest achievement...

Mac's mom,
Maggie Mae

Day 6- something you hope you never have to do

This writing challenge topic for the 30 days of truth just screams out "depressing." I never want to bury my child. Or live in a cardboard box. Or have a job where I ask "Do you want fries with that?"

I could think of other things, as well. I hope I never have to have anyone change my diaper when I'm old and gray. I hope I never sample my cat's food; for that matter, I hope I never have a cat. I hope I never have to see a dead body floating in the ocean. I hope I never have to see or hear Ruch Limbaugh again. I could get fairly gross, disgusting and morbid with this. What the hell sort of topic is this, anyway?

I hope I never have to fire a person from a job (unless I don't like them.) I hope I never turn to a life of crime (unless I could get away with it). I hope I never have to walk naked in public (unless I lose weight, get a body lift and am suddenly svelte and sexy).

I hope I never have to write a post about this topic again. But I was stuck for something for today. I want to write about my job hatred but I need to calm down rather than just verbally spew vitriol so here's the compromise.

Day 5- Something you hope to do in life

I guess I better get back to this 30 days of truth. I've been dragging my feet on this topic. I could've plowed through a bunch of others but this one had me stuck. I'm not feeling super optimistic in life right now so this one is just causing me conniptions. It's forces me to be cheerful and happy about myself.

I want to go to Italy, and would like to spend the entire summer there.

I want to go to England, and back to Ireland, and since I'm there, I would also like to stop in Scotland and Wales. And maybe live there.

I hope to live beside the ocean. In Seattle or in New England. I'm not picky, either one would do.

And if you want a realistic list, I would like to get a full time job with health benefits and paid vacation. I'd like to have an office. I don't want to work with kids, I think. I'd also like to just work from 9 to 5.

Okay, so there's the "hope" post.

Maggie

Day 4- Forgiving someone else

Today's topic in the 30 days of truth is "something you have to forgive someone for." Well, I can't really think of anything. Other than issues with my ex about my son, and that doesn't call for forgiveness but either bullets or lawyers, I don't really go around harboring a lot of ill will toward others. I just don't feel like I need to forgive anyone for anything. I don't feel angry at anyone or like I have grudges or regrets, other than Day three's mention.

Guess this one wasn't very hard. Sort of lame. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe I should change it up a little bit. For example:

• I could forgive ITSam for sending text messages with misspelled words and grammar errors to an English teacher. Here's an example: "I know you busy this next few weeks. I hope everything go well and your safe." While Daddy-O always says "you can't fix stupid" but I guess that means I could forgive it.
  

• I could forgive Robin from Wal-Mart for... well, she would obviously fail a lesson about fruit.
  

• I could forgive the gods and goddess for not making life like a movie and not offering up a soundtrack. (this is one of my favorite posts....)

Well, four down and only 26 more to go.

Maggie

And by the way...

This has nothing to do with forgiveness but it's just a lovely view on our school campus.

Day 3 of the 30 day challenge: Forgiving myself

I need to forgive myself for letting Mac move in with his Sperm Donor when he was about 9 years old.

I hated that happened and I regret every moment he was there. I wish I could do it over. And I can't seem to forgive myself for letting it happen, not fighting it, not... stopping it.

The details are really not important and it was a long time ago but I can't seem to forgive myself for it.

I don't like this 30 days of truth. Why did I think this would be fun? Maybe I should start changing the topics to something I like better.

Mags

Day 2 of the 30 day challenge: Something you Love About Yourself

I'm taking a 30 day blog challenge and today is day 2. More truth about Maggie, so here goes!

Something You Love about Yourself:

I love my sense of humor. Once, a long time ago, a friend of mine said: "never be afraid to go for the funny." And I've remembered this always and i usually go for it. Sometimes I find that something comes out my mouth and isn't nearly as funny as it was when it was in my head. But MOST of the time, something funny is something funny.

And if I find I have an engaged audience, I can do what seems to be a stand-up comic routine. I think it's why I enjoy teaching so much-- I have an audience that is forced to listen to me, I get to be the center of attention and be funny.

In all seriousness, I do like to make people laugh. I try to do it here on my blog and I try to do it in real life. It might be just because I want to make someone smile because they need it or sometimes, because I need it. I like to hear a chuckle or a chortle or, best of all, a big, huge belly laugh.

Laughter heals, it's the best medicine, and all that ballyhoo. So I like my sense of humor to find the funny in big and small ways, and to try and give others a chuckle for a day.

Mags

A 30 day challenge+ Day 1 to kick it off!

I love the blog Why Are you Stalking Me? I love her for many different reasons (wit, sarcasm, life outlook, writing style) but one is because she posted this awesome idea. Here are 30 topics, one a day. Sort of a 30 days of truth sort of thing. I think I'm going to give it a try.

I think the purpose is to do these one a day for a month but I might have to take time out to write something about, you know... my life. Not that it's all that interesting but there could be a good family, Mac, teaching, other interesting thing, story along the way. So I'm going to do this, but I might a skip a day or two along the way. It might take me longer than 30 days because I can't neglect my regular blogging!

And because I'm bossy, a control freak, OCD, I will change this up slightly. This list is big on "write a letter" type of writing. I might answer the daily question and address the required topic but I'll probably do it in my own style, with my own flare, to it, regardless of the requested "write a letter" format.

So here is the list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Starting tomorrow (unless something else awesome happens today that I have to tell you about!) I'm gonna attack these topics! Feel free to join and play along!

And here is Day 1 just to get me started- something you hate about yourself.

This is a hard one for me because there is lots I hate about myself right now but I'm not sure I want to just throw it out here. As you know I hate my weight but I feel if I would set my mind to it and create a plan and stick to it, I could probably lose weight. Being overweight is what I hate the most right now, I would say.

I'm also frustrated with myself that I keep my mouth shut about stuff that matters but I don't want to hurt people's feelings. In the end that's probably a good thing but I don't like having to be reserved and reticent. I do this with family and friends as well as at work.

As I re-read this topic I also see if says to just tell something I hate about myself. It doesn't say I have to develop a solution to my own problem or explain why I hate. it says to just say what the issue is. So, I hate keeping my mouth shut and I hate being fat.

Hmmmmmm, I don't feel like this is very therapeutic or helpful. Maybe I should add to the list of things I hate is this particular topic.

Done with day one,
Mags

Celebrating my four year Blog-iversary!

Holy Cow... I've been a blogger for four years. Yes, four years today! Now, for those of you who start looking at my past posts and see there aren't four years worth, well, you're right. At this blog, there aren't four years, but in December 2008 I entered the BPP- Blogger Protection Program. So if we celebrate the moment my fingers graced the keys of my first blog ever, it was four years ago today. Yes I had a different moniker and a different URL it was me then and it's me now.

I want to thank AlaskaSam for introducing me to the wonderful world of blogging. Oh, he doesn't read here (protecting his own sanity and mine) any more but he showed me what blogging was. he used to write and I thought it was cool and I started and here I am. Back then my intent was to write to keep informed of my life until we got married and if I picked up other readers along the way, then bonus. When we got married, I was going to write about my life in Alaska. Well, we can see how that went completely awry as best laid plans of mice and women in love usually do and none of that happened but the one constant remained and that was my blog.

I have had the great pleasure of meeting some of the most wonderful people in the world through this blogging medium. The people I have been blessed with knowing through blogging are always kind, sweet, nice, and supportive. honest but never brutally so. good people who give encouragement, tell me to get my head out of my ass, who make me laugh, and for some damn, reason, keep coming back here for more of me. Why? I think secretly all my readers live in mental institutions because what sane people would want to read me?

No, really, I am honored and awed that anyone reads me, let alone sends me gifts, gives awards, or becomes followers. Now, don't get me wrong, I am so GLAD you all do, but I've yet to figure out why. But thank you. Thank you for reading and encouraging and just being out there. I am humbled that so many of you are here, sharing my life.

Thanks for putting up with all my rants and raves, my whining, my random observations, my shoes shopping, my failed relationships, my obsession with Johnny Depp, with everything.

And because ya'll rock my world I've decided it's payback time. Check here later today for the details because I'm going to be having my very first GIVEAWAY! And for the next 17 days it's gonna be all about Maggie Mania here at "Shoes/ Purses." That's right, I'm gonna have a GIVEAWAY and the winner will be drawn on St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, I know, none of you are surprised about that!!! Check here tonight for more stuff about the festivities!

Thank you all for reading.

I've gone back and indulged in some of my old stuff and some of my real old stuff in my previous blog and... well, I owe you all.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for the memories.

Thanks for making me Maggie.

Kisses and cupcakes,
Maggie Mae O'Sullivan