Ended the year with a date, started the year with a date...

Since the 2008, I've averaged 2 dates a year. Some of those dates turned into temporary long term relationships but those started with dates nonetheless and if I go back, I seriously average 2 dates a year.

In 2011 I dated ITSam for the first 10 months and then had the okay date on New Year's Eve day so I count that as 2 dates in 2011, even though I had a whole bunch of them with ITSam. Then I had another date on New Years Day, so one of my dates for the year is already over and done with. I have about 11 months and 3 weeks to have another one so I don't break my streak (though this is one streak I could break and live happily.).

I've been thinking about dating and it's weird.

I don't think I'm good at it and I don't like all the "get to know you stuff" over and over again because I just wait for it to fall apart and then when I do get comfortable and let my guard down and have fun, then it falls apart. I hate being judged and that's what dating is- people judging and sizing each other up. I hate that I feel like I can't be myself because I think I'm weird so others will. Someone once told me that if I found a guy who liked the things I did he would only be gay. Gee, there's a promising thought.

I also have no idea where to meet age appropriate men. No do not suggest the Internet. No, do not suggest bars. And we have already established that anyone with half a brain will NOT date at work; ever heard the expression "don't shit where ya eat"? I think it was made up for this instance specifically, no matter how gross of a saying it is. But I don't know where to meet people.

I don't feel like I MUST date but after spending a year with ITSam and I sorta liked having someone to spend time with and hang out with and someone who, for the most part, cared about my comings and goings and wanted to help me and see me and just loved me. So I guess I feel a little lonely, and sometimes out of sorts.

And now I know that sometime in the next 11 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days I'll be stuck having another date, unless I break the streak.

Debating it,
Maggie

2 dates, 1 guy: Part I

I told you about my meet cute experience and then texting and then agreeing to meet for coffee.

Well, I did meet for coffee and it was okay. The problem was that it was neither this amazing date nor was it super crappy-- it was just okay. He was okay.

A few things stand out in my mind about it:

1- he asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee at a Starbucks. I didn't suggest that or ask him or even hinted about it. He asked me. We met for coffee and as we went inside he said he's never been to Starbucks before. We talked about different types of drinks. Then as we waited in line he said he wasn't really a coffee drinker. Well. I asked if he would rather go somewhere else and he said no. I also pointed out they had other drinks there if he didn't want coffee. He said not it was fine and asked me if I would just order something for him. So I did. Then he paid (I offered and he said no). We had to wait a few minutes and it was a fairly busy Starbucks and he complained about the crowd. He also complained because we had to wait- he felt it was poor customer service- even though we waited only about 5 minutes, which I didn't think was a big deal. And then the piece de resistance as we walked out the door was that he bitched about the cost of the coffee; he doesn't understand why anyone would pay $5 for a cup of coffee.

Now HE asked me there, not the other way around. And then have the nerve to complain about it? Like it was my idea or fault?

2- he said he thought that teachers were snobby and thought they were better than other people. I said I wasn't like that and he felt like he wanted to impress me. Uhhhh, I didn't even know how to respond to that.

So we got coffee and then sat in the mall food court and talked for awhile. At the end of the conversation my big determination was that we didn't seem to have much in common but he was nervous and it was okay. He did ask me if I wanted to turn coffee into dinner but I had plans and said no. (If I didn't have plans I would've probably said 'no' anyway while I was thinking about it.)

This was Saturday. Then Saturday night he called me to see if I wanted to have dinner on Sunday. He said he would be working for the next 10 days (he's a truck driver) and then he would have his daughter then be on the road again for 5 days, so it looked like it would be 3 weeks before we could go out, so I agreed to date #2 with this guy.

And that's information for another post!
Maggie

2 dates, 1 guy: Part II

What follows is my accounting of the second date with the "meet cute" guy. I told Lilith about it and I thought she was going to insight a riot with this... well, about him. So in an attempt at being fun, I wrote the post and Lilith added her editorial comments- these are found in red italics. I have to say it's like telling her this story in person and getting her response...

So I said I would go to dinner with this guy on Sunday night. I had plans to see a matinee with XRayGirl so I told him I couldn't meet until 6pm; that plan changed so I let him know I was free earlier... so he wanted to meet at 4pm. For dinner? Uh, okay. Ok, I must say 4pm for a dinner usually means one of two things: 1.) he lives at home with mommy and wants to get back before dark OR 2.) he's hoping he can turn an early dinner into a booty call!Then we had a 20 minute discussion about where. Now, I'm sort of old school in some ways. I feel cornered if a guy wants me to pick the place so I've made it a habit to give 2 or 3 suggestions that I like and usually a guy picks one of those. I don't like it if a guy says "we're eating here" and I can safely say no man has ever done that. I also don't mind if a guy offers suggestions or says "do you like Italian (or insert ethnicity here)" and then suggestions a place. But this guy made me give suggestions and then pick one. He wouldn't commit to any place at all. So after that we decided on a cute local pizza place here in my town, where I could meet him, even though he did offer to pick me up (I'm not comfortable with that idea.). Wise choice! And why ask for suggestions if he wasn't going to pick?

I also want to say he thinks he super macho. He's about 6'3" and overweight but he has a "fu manchu" goatee thing and is into all sorts of "manly" things like NASCAR, hunting, fishing, guns, gun collecting, making his own ammo (HUGE RED FLAG if he makes his own ammo!), Harleys. He thinks sports are stupid and isn't "into" that but when he "bulks up" he's going to give UFC a try (it's Ultimate Fighting Championship), like cage matches or something. He thinks THAT's a sport yet NFL players are pussies. Are you understanding what I'm trying to say here? This guy thinks he is hot shit but is a total redneck- and I feel like I'm insulting rednecks everywhere. That would be a correct assumption! LOL

And he swears A LOT. I know that sounds like pot calling the kettle black but he used the F-word ALL the time, as all 8 parts of speech. I was taken aback. I was just surprised.

I like this... he has a 3 year old daughter and he named her "Tyme." I said i thought that was unusual and asked if it was a family name or if there was a story behind it. He said yeah and proceeded to tell me he always like the actress Tyne Daily from Cagney and Lacy, who reminded him of his mom. Well, he said he always thought her name was Tyme Daily... ooops. He didn't realize his mistake until it was already on her birth certificate. O-kay! Isn't that something you should make sure of before you make it official?

He also said, at some point in a relationship everyone needs to compromise. I said I agreed. He said he might want me to go see a UFC fight. And I just smiled. I then said I might want him to go shoe shopping with me and he snorted and said, "not a fucking chance. that's what you have girlfriends for." What happened to compromise? It's called, you'll do what I want and like it (that's his definition of compromise)! What an asshat!

He also talked about how much he wants to go to Fan Fest in Nashville next summer and ride his Harley (a Harley he hasn't bought yet either!) down there. He asked me if I would like to do something like that. I told him that frankly, no I wouldn't because I don't like the heat, I don't like country music, and I don't think I would like to ride that far on a Harley. He said that I would suck it up and go and like it and I didn't know anything. Holy shit, where did this ass-backwards jackass come from? Is he gonna drag you by your hair and throw you on his imaginary Harley? Did he even know how to use utensils when you went to dinner?

He also makes jokes about his weight but he also made comment about MINE. OH NO HE DIDN'T! Uh, yeah. He said something about people looking at the fat guy and thinks he'll be jolly but I should understand that because I probably get that too....... oh yes, he did say that. He also bluntly said he liked that my boobs looked jiggly but fat girls usually had that going and he was a man usually liked girls with small perky ones but mine looked nice. They are nice boobs! Thank God he said that after we were given our check and were leaving or I would've got up and left.

Let's see.... oh and I must tell you that everything I said, all night long, was just some giant sexual innuendo. I could say "Did you come down highway 2 to get here?" and he would chuckle and say "no, I didn't COME down there but I drove- heehee". Really? Really? It went on like that all night with everything. (Wait a second, I just lost a contact from rolling my eyes so much) And he bragged that he could make anything about sex. And he did. Even if it didn't make sense. Oh great just what the world needs another sexual innuendo douchebag!

So we met. First, he looked like an idiot. It's the coldest damn day of the year. It's about 10 degrees outside and the wind is blowing so it's around -18 or some such nonsense and we had gusting winds up to 40 mph. And it was snowing. He wore a Harley t-shirt with a short sleeve SNAP up Harley shirt over it. And he's very heavy set so the snaps strained- keep this in mind, please. And he claimed he wasn't cold and NEVER wears a winter coat. I lived in the Wild West in part of the coldest section of the country where some of the manliest men live and they would admit it to it being cold and would dress accordingly. There is nothing macho about frost bite. So when he said he wasn't cold, he was lying and that's just stupid. Didn't you know that Harley clothing makes the wearer impervious to cold!He told me liked to read to his daughter and I said I thought that was really awesome! And he said he's more than just a dumb truck driver and I quote him "Duh, I do know how to read." Look, I'm an English teacher and lover of books so any time anyone says they read to their kids, I get excited!!!! I was not thinking he couldn't read. I'm beginning to think he was lying! It's not reading if it's a book on tape!We don't like the same things: not the same music or movies (he doesn't even really like movies) or hobbies. He has a 3 year old kid and we all know I don't like kids. And we have some seriously divergent beliefs.

He also said he believes every single person in the United States should be armed as much as then can because at some point citizens are going to invade DC and stage "one of those things"- I filled in the word "coup" and he said "yeah one of those" and over throw the government and that citizens should be armed and ready to protect themselves when it's all marshal law and he wants to be able to lead his own militia. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... RUN, RUN FA FA AWAY!!Oh let's see what other little gems he had... he went back to the teachers are snobs idea and he said he thought I was a snob but I was trying hard to not be because I used lots of big words and I claim to like opera and ballet. But I DO like ballet and opera and I do have a big vocabulary. And he said, and I quote him, "I hate it when people stereotype others. Like me, some people think I'm just a stupid fucking truck driver and i ain't." Umm, hello dumbass you (him, not you) just stereotyped teachers. What a fracking asshat!He also had no manners. I'm not kidding. He didn't say thanks or please to anyone. He didn't pull out my chair. And best of all, went out the door ahead of me while I was struggling to get my coat on and he let the door swing close in my face. I pushed it open and he looked back and said, "Uh thought you had it." Not a sorry, or anything and he kept on going.

Did I mention he spent 45 minutes talking about his ex? He even noticed he did and said 'well, I guess that's attractive." Well not any more than any of this other shit...

And after he ate and leaned back in the booth and exhaled, all the snaps on his shirt popped open. LOL, how did you not pee yourself laughing?

I think there could be more but I think this is enough... And this is why I am NOT going on a third date. I don't really think there's a need now, do you? We really need to find you a nice, normal guy! I can't say it enough, what a fricken douchbag!

Thanking God I dodged that bullet,
Maggie and Lilith

I don't know why I'm so tired

I am soooooooooooo tired. OMG, I am so tired. Every muscle in my body hurts. I'm often pretty tired on Mondays but not this exhausted. And yeah, I know this isn't a Monday but it might as well be MY Monday since yesterday we didn't have any school with students.

Back when I was teaching in the Wild West I would actually fall asleep sitting straight on my couch, usually with a book in one hand and the remote control in the other. Just awake watching TV or reading one moment and then next my head bobs and it's been 3 hours. I would feel like I had run a marathon or something exhausting.

I feel like that again today, even though it's been awhile since I've felt that wiped out but today is that day. It's the sort of tired that just seeps into my bones. I rolled my shoulders and everything popped and cracked. I laid my head back on the couch and could feel the muscles stretch out.

Part of it, I think, is the deep deep cold we had today. It was about 20 degrees today and really windy. We are also not heating the hallways at school so it just gets cold and stays that way. I am just so very cold and so tired.

Here's the kicker--- I didn't do a damn thing all day today that could be deemed exhausting or that tiring. I sat at my computer and I did bunch of paperwork. I handled a bunch of phone calls and did some research. I had to 'babysit' a group of new boy students this morning and test them, and then I had the new group of girls in the afternoon but that isn't what I would call strenuous. So in all honesty I can believe I'm this bone tired.

Maybe because it's the first day back to school after a 17 day Christmas vacation? Of having to be "on" for the kids?

And unfortunately I can't crash like I used to back in the Wild West. I would go go go all week long and then on Friday I'd be asleep by 5pm and do nothing by cat nap and watch TV and then hit it again on Monday. I can't be a lounging bum this weekend because it's my weekend to work my OTHER job.

But tonight I'm giving serious thought to going to sleep around 8pm... I could get about 10 hours of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs that way.........

Maggie

What would you do for a concert ticket?

I'm not really a huge fan of country music. I know some, and like a little but when I lived in the Wild West it was country music overkill and I just have not been a huge fan ever since because I think I ODed.

That being said, I *heart* Tim McGraw. Yes, I do listen to him and buy his CDs and have him loaded on my defunk iPod and will even stop the radio on a country station if he's on.

He's the only country music singer I would pay to see in concert. And even better I don't have to "pay"... cold hard cash, anyway. But I do have to do something... grade papers. Yes, I feel like I should be holding a sign card that reads: "Will grade for Tim McGraw."

He's going to be in the capital of my home state this summer, with some guy called Kenny Chesney (something about a sexy tractor?????), live in concert. And my friend Photographer LOVES him. She and 4 of her friends are going and invited me along. I said I'd love to go. Tickets are $135 and I never mentioned money being an issue but since she KNOWS my life, her proposal is that I could grade in exchange for tickets.

I've graded for her before; she's a high school English teacher and our teaching styles and methods are very similar. As is the way we grade so I've graded for her in the past and she pays me. This time, I get Tim instead of cash!!!

Over the Christmas break, I agreed to grade some HUGE Scarlet Letter projects (technology meets Hester Prynne meets essays) for her AP kids because her father-in-law died. These huge ass assignments would've garnered me $75 in cash so I'm almost there!!!!!

The lengths I will go to for Tim McGraw....

Maggie Mae

What did I actually do on New Year's Eve?

I had several plans over the last few weeks of what I was going to do or NOT going to do on New Year's Eve:

Plan A:
Daddy-O was going to be in Texas and Mac was going to a party so I was going to rent a stack of movies and stay home alone and watch those and get drunk. Alone. Then go to bed after the ball dropped unless I had already passed out.

Plan B:
Go with XRayGirl and a bunch of her peeps to a couples only bowling thing. Now, I'm no longer part of a couple so she was going to just find a warm male body so I could go whether it was a date or not, just so I could spend NYEve with her!

Plan C:
Go see the movie New Year's Eve alone and then come home to watch the ball drop and then go to bed. (Mac said this was ultra sad and depressing to go to a movie alone on New Year's Eve to watch other people celebrating New Year's Eve... He might've had a point!)

Plan D:
ITSam wanted to see me and do anything. Can we say "ugh!"?


Then actually on New Year's Eve day, XRayGirl was still scrambling to find a guy to bowl with me and Mac's friends canceled on him so I decided to bail on the bowling and go with Plan E:
take Mac to dinner and a movie. (We toyed with having Mac be my bowling partner but it's for ages 21 and up so he wasn't old enough AND he didn't want to go bowling with his mom and her old friends.... that could be a Plan F but we didn't give it serious thought because of the age issues)

But about 20 minutes before we were going to leave, one of Mac's friends called him and asked him to go to COLLEGE FRAT party, and what 18 year old boy in his right mind would turn that down? And on New Year's Eve, to boot?!? So I set him free of his mom commitment.

And it was too late to go bowling...

And I had turned down a Sam for dinner because I was going to eat with Mac...

So I went with Plan G:
Daddy-O and I went to Bob Evans for dinner, then we watched Burlesque. I graded papers for Photographer. Daddy-O went to bed before the ball dropped but I watched that for about 2 minutes, texted friends a 'happy new year' and then watched stuff I had been DVR-ing for a few weeks. Finally I went to bed around 1:30am... I didn't drink. It wasn't a big deal and I didn't feel all depressed or sad. It really was just another night...

New Year's Eve is really a night for couples or really young people, I've decided. I sound jaded but I'm not. It really is such. And all my friends are "couples" and so unless next year I just hold a big bash for everyone, I'm going to just hide or volunteer to work somewhere...

But it's a new year and that's good.

Welcome 2012,
Mags

New Day, New Year!

Love, Maggie