Friday, December 30, 2011

My life as the sequel to the Scott Pilgrim movie

Mac thinks it would be great if my life could be like the Scott Pilgrim movie. In the movie, Scott Pilgrim meets the girl of his dreams, Ramona Flowers, and to be with her he has to defeat all her evil ex-boyfriends. This is now one of Mac's favorite movies; he even got it for Christmas on Blu-Ray. He thinks it would be cool if I met my soul mate who then had to battle and kill all my evil ex-boyfriends.

He said all my exes are fat so they don't need physical prowess--- well, the Gay Cowboy was skinny but the rest are on the heavier side.

The Soul Mate has certain challenges per ex-BF, according to Mac:
  • The Canadian is Canadian so there's the challenge right there
  • ITSam would try to sue the Soul Mate and probably stalk me for the rest of my life so the battle would be to kill him without leaving a paper trail
  • The Gay Cowboy (a guy I dated when I lived in the Wild West) is tricky because he was a cowboy, a construction worker, a fireman and, it turned out, gay. Soul Mate must call out the Village People for help. And Soul Mate must win because if he loses there will sodomy. Lots and lots of sodomy. Yuck!
  • The former BF who was alcoholic-druggie-unemployed-poet... well, he's all cleaned up and Mac thinks he shouldn't be offed any more so he can just be a friend of Soul Mate...
  • Sperm Donor is the most evil of all. He thinks that blogging, according to Mac, is for whining liberals who control the media so he wouldn't even know about Soul Mate to begin with since he's a closed minded, small minded, Republican. Unless, that is, my blog shows up on the FOX News Website, which he only watched to criticize

What I find to be the funniest of Mac's diatribe is that he thinks I'll find a Soul Mate!

Mac's mom,


1 comment:

Jimmie Earl said...

The next time you're at a large department store, give your name and phone number to the first guy who asks. Who knows, it may be your Soul Mate!!! LOL!