Favorite tree

This is a weird post for today I realize. The weather's gotten really, really warm. All the snow melted away. It's not winter looking anymore. It's about 50 degrees out and then tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 30s and then Sunday be in the 20s. So, yest it will be colder but we don't have any snow in the forecast.

I'm missing some snow. I know that's silly but I really do miss it. And I know it's just December and it will snow again. But I could be living in NYC and dealing with the blizzard and between you and me, I would be just fine with that. I like the snow as I've said before.

So while I'm missing the snow I started thinking about winter in the Wild West. We had a TON of snow there. I mean tons. We had that much snow all the time. It never made the news when we had 27 inches.

I had a favorite tree in the Wild West. I should say it was the only tree in the Wild West; I was a "plains" girl so it was all flat, barren rolling land. There were very few deciduous trees where I lived and I would get homesick for trees. So I found the perfect tree one day, on a drive. It was about a quarter mile drive up a rancher's lane. It was about 18 miles from my house. I tracked down the rancher and got permission to visit the tree. He told me as long as I didn't let the cattle out or hit any, I could see it all I wanted.

So, here's a picture of my favorite tree in the winter.

Life's Soundtrack

Do you ever think about your life with a soundtrack? What if music would play in the background of our lives?

I remember when I was taking a film class back in college and we watched a bunch of films that were studio releases without music or sound. Halloween wasn't nearly as scary, neither was Jaws when there was no music; it was so weird. Then we examined Hitchcock and he often didn't use music to give his movies the scary hype but just relied on his expert film making prowess to scare the crappola out of the audience, and it worked!

Watching movies or a television show with just the right music enhances the production for me. I love it when there's an 80's flashback and the perfect Ah-ha or Springsteen song is the necessary background tune. But the reverse is often true for me as well. If the music sucks, it can trash a viewing experience for me completely. Same college course where we watched movies without sound taught me how to watch a movie for more than just the movie itself. Even though I'm not consciously analyzing the soundtrack, shadows, editing, cinematography, etc. I actually am. And when I know I'm doing it ("Gee, I love the way the rolling picturesque landscape was captured on film- way to go cinematographer!") while sitting in the theater, then I'm having a really bad movie experience- I analyze the crap out of a movie if I don't like it.

I love the orchestra music in Dances with Wolves and in Titanic. (But when Celine Dion starts singing that "My Heart will go On" thing it just annoys me!) The music in The Wedding Singer is perfect. In an old TV show that got canceled mid season back when I was in high school- show was called TV 101- there was a scene in one episode where a girl decided to lose her virginity in the back of a car and the U2 song "With or without you" played. I don't remember anything else about that episode but that- the music defined it for me. And think of Jaws, Halloween, Gone with the Wind, The Young and the Restless, Dr. Zhivago, M*A*S*H... all have memorable scores.

I think my life is very Hitchcockian (maybe my life is really more Capraesque but Frank used music and it doesn't fit my metaphor) but without all the killing and bloodshed (though as person who works daily with high school students I think about bloodshed: sometimes that of my students, sometimes my own!). My life is good enough as it is without needing a soundtrack to psych it up and make it more suspenseful.

Then there's the other side of me that thinks in terms of my life soundtrack; you know, what music should be playing at certain times in my life. I think music has such a powerful influence and can set a mood, modulate a tone of a conversation, build a moment, crush a moment, cause undue reminiscing, empower emotions, open flood gates, propel rage or cause giggles, snorts, smiles, belly laughs.

When the wanderlust attacks me I think a perfect song is Reba's "Is there life out there?"When I was getting dressed and trying on 4 outfits so I would be dressed to kill a little "Man Hunt" could be heard. Lately I'm so happy with life, I'm practically walking on cloud nine so I can hear "Walking On Sunshine".

I think it would be cool if you're just living life and you could hear music in your mind (with a volume control of course or I would be so distracted by the tunes I would lose the moment- you know, being ADD and all I get easily off track... oh, where was I?) that fit the mood. And warn you of stuff- I might've avoided getting a speeding ticket once if the theme from Smoky and the Bandit would've played on my internal Life soundtrack and I would've been wary and watchful for the coppers. I might not have gotten in involved with SD all those years ago if Denis Leary's "Asshole" would've played in my brain's little personal itunes.

What would your soundtrack play and when?
Maggie

Mac's Sperm Donor rears his ugly face... and here I thought he was dead

NO such luck. Wishful thinking. He's still alive and kicking and living on the other side of town.

This is a jerk who hasn't spoken a civil word to his son for a year. The last time they talked was February, on the phone and it ended with Mac hanging up on his father. Then one day in late April or early May Mac's itunes account wouldn't work. So he actually text his father about it who said he shut it off. Mac called him and cussed him out. Then he hung up on him. That is the total contact he's had with this so called father person.

Sperm Donor missed his honor's choir performance, 3 high school choir performances, every single football game, 2 band concerts, 3 plays he was in, and his athletic awards dinner. That's what I can think of off the top of my head. Not to mention the fact he's missed just about all the things a dad should do. He's just missed out on a year of Mac's life, of his growing up, his first girlfriend, his first crush, learning to drive, day to day stuff. He missed him applying to colleges, college visits, and the glory of getting in a college (his second choice, but still!!) with a HUGE scholarship! His SD has missed this all and had no clue what an awesome kid he has. That stupid M#$%^@F%*&er!!!!!!

So, in mid November, Mac gets a text from his SD telling him he saw his name on the honor roll, for grades and how proud he was of him. Mac told me and then waited a week and sent a response back that said "thanks." Here's where I think fate played: two days later Mac gets an auto-generated reply from Sprint saying his message was undeliverable. Mac said then it wasn't meant to be.

Until last week his dad just calls him out of the blue. They had a conversation. Which led to a lunch. I didn't ask a lot of questions, frankly, because I wasn't sure I could keep a civil tongue in my head. What Mac did tell me was that his father didn't apologize (figures), wanted to put it all behind them and go on like nothing happened (oh I bet he does, so like him to cause havoc and want to then pretend he's innocent in it all), and informed Mac he's in $38k of credit card debit (and what does that have to do with Mac, I'd like to know?). Mac said other than that, lunch was fine and the pizza was good.

Then Mac went with him 2 days later and they hung out for an afternoon. Mac wanted to go shopping with some girls from school but couldn't get all their schedules arranged. I told him I would take him and he said okay. I guess he had a conversation with his dad who said he would take Mac shopping so he went. I was so pissed off!!!!!!!!! Again I tried to not say much. Mac shared that he told his dad he wasn't ready to see his step-mother nor grandmother (poor kid has shrews on both sides) and apparently his SD said he hoped that would change; Mac told him to not count on it. Mac told me he also told his dad he was really negative and that influenced him as a young adolescent and he learned from me to be positive. He told SD if he could be positive around him then he wouldn't see him. Mac said he wouldn't spend time around someone who is critical of everyone and everything in the world. SD said he would "try" to be less critical.

I hate SD. I want him to stay away. I want him to go away. I don't want him near Mac. I want to know what he's up to. I don't trust him and I figure he has some covert reason. I hate him and don't trust him any further than I can throw his ugly, fat ass. I hate hate hate him. If hate were people I'd be China. I don't like what he did to Mac over the last year and how he thinks he can swoop in and be "buds" again. I don't think Mac will let him get too close but I just hate that he suddenly, after a year off and a year filled with ill will and bad feelings and so much hurt to my son, SD thinks he can just pop in. I want to tell him if he hurts Mac again or so much as makes him change his outlook on something as simple as what he wants on his burgers, he'll never see Mac again. I have no power to make that happen but I wish I could DO SOMETHING!

Thanks for letting me vent, spew, toss up some verbal vomit.

Mags

Things we do for cash

I was thinking about all the things I've done for money. What prompted this thought was I got out of bed this morning at 7:45am. I work in education and this is Christmas vacation. Fellow teachers are probably wondering what in the heck is wrong with me and those of you not in education are probably wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Well... money.

I got out of bed to get ready to come to work at the school library for 2 hours. Before school was out for Christmas break, I had students begging me to let them check out books. Since so many of our kids don't come back after break (they either get sent home or to another facility) I collected ALL the books in an effort to cut back on losing materials. But I do have several readers who were begging me for books. So I VOLUNTEERED to open the school library this morning so kids on campus could come check stuff out. Now, I don't get paid in cash for doing this, but my boss is nice enough to see this was nice and offered me comp. time for each hour I spend here.

But the reason this seems like such a big deal is that I drove another 15 hour transport yesterday. I left at 9:30am and got back at 12:30am. Yes, 15 hours in a minivan with 5 teenagers, jacked up on sugar and caffeine and one who hadn't had her meds for 5 days. OMG!

So, while it doesn't seem like such a big deal to get up at 7:45 am to work at the library for 2 hours, it does on the heels of yesterday's drive. And, here I sit and not a soul has come in. Oh, I sent email reminders, one the day I planned it, a week ago. And again yesterday morning. I even asked them to RSVP. Guess I'll get comp. time for sitting here.

And since we went on Christmas break, I have worked a LOT of hours. The last day of school was Dec. 17. I went shopping on the 18th. I was deathly sick on 19-21. I worked on 22nd, 23rd, and the 24th. I was off on Christmas day and then I worked again on the 26th, 27th and then today, in the morning. I'm really NOT complaining nor whining. I did this to myself. I wanted the money. But as I sit here tired and aching and really wishing I was still at home in my nice warm new flannel jammies, I'm wishing I would've taken more time off to enjoy my holiday break.

There are 5.5 days left and I am not working any of them. I'm going to say no if anyone calls me to drive or answer the phones as the part time receptionist. I'm going to just chill. New Year Eve I actually have plans, a real date. I'm meeting my Photographer boss/ friend for dinner tomorrow night, and Curly and I are hanging out on Friday. Lilith and I are going to see each other at some point as well, but otherwise I am just chilling and doing some fun stuff with friends, obviously.

I would love to a take a "get away from it all" vacation. Maybe I should stash all my money and take a mini vacation... bwahahahahahahaha!!! It's a nice idea.

Being a bum for the rest of the day,
Mags

100 Things Meme

Today I'm driving another 12 hour transit. So I leave you with a meme; the last one of the year, I promise.

A. Copy this whole list into your blog.
B. Color the things that are true about you.
C. Whatever you don’t COLOR (left in black) is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don’t watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I’ve tried marijuana
09. I’ve watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have had sex with a member of the same sex.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I’m really, really smart
21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones
22. I have had an affair with a married person
23. I hate the rain
24. I’m paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe and free of cost.
26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look a lot of the time
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to do cornrows
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I contribute my all at work
46. I have a hidden talent (it’s hidden from me too)
47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I feel my life is pretty complete
49. I want a relationship with someone I can't have
50. I have gotten more than 1 ticket in the last year
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in PJ pants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I’m snobby and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I’m obsessed with shoes.
58. I don’t hate anyone
59. I’m a pretty good dancer
60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I prefer to work alone
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I am willing to try any type of new food
68. I have a fear of flying
69. I have never been to a big concert
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I’m not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I think I know more than I really do
79. Sex is overrated.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 text messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I’ve been to Europe.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or friend
88. I enjoy some country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s "Children’s Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend’s ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment
100. I need to get laid (okay so who doesn't and when isn't this true?).

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.

I haven't given up on the 30 days of truth... yet. And since today is the day after Christmas and a Sunday I figure readership will already be low so I'd write a semi- uninteresting post that no one will read anyway on a day when few people will read.

This is a playlist, of sorts, to me. In reality it's a list of my ring tones and who I've assigned certain songs, and why. I had to change this up a little or it would've been sort of schmaltzy list or a sad one if I went with just regular old tunes, so here's something a little more fun.

1. "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett is assigned to my friend sam/P because she lives in Florida and she, like me, likes to occasionally have an adult libation.

2. "Your Song" by Elton John to ITSam because it's a song he sang to me once, (He has a lovely voice) and it's one of his favorites.

3. "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin to Mac because it's a loud song and I want to hear it when it rings, I have no other ring tone even remotely close to that sound, and because Led Zeppelin is one of his all time favorite music groups on earth.

4. "Soul Sister" by Train to XRay Girl because she's my soul sister and because I like the song (and Train is a favorite of mine).

5. "We are family" by Sister Sledge is assigned to DNice and Gulo because they're part of my (even long distance) family of girlfriends.

6. "Piano Man" by Billy Joel is assigned to Daddy-O because he plays the piano and he and I are both HUGE Billy fans. HUGE!

7. "Glitter in the Air" by Pink is assigned to my friend Lilith because I love this song and it's one of my favorites so I assigned it to one of my favorite people I love and who's a favorite!

8. "Love You Till The End" by the Pogues is a ring tone I gave to a Sam who lives in Ireland. He's a friend. He doesn't call often but it's there, just in case. He's a person i care about a great deal. The Pogues are an Irish band that I like to it's a good choice all the way around.

9. "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz is assigned to Curly, much for the same reasons as I picked a song for Lilith. I love this song and it's one of my favorites so I assigned it to one of my favorite people I love and who's a favorite!

10. "Hot for Teacher" by Van Halen is assigned to my school and plays whenever they call me. It's my own little "heeheehee" moment.

11. "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield is my default ringtone because one time Mac said it was the most annoying song he had ever heard and I wanted to mess with him.

Happy Holidays!

Merry

Christmas!