Over the river and through the woods [with vodka] to grandmother's house we go!

Today is the annual be made to feel guilty and be miserable Christmas celebration. It's on the calendar, I'm sure of it! Is there a Hallmark card for this celebration? It's also known, in my case, as a visit to grandmother's house.

Also, in my world, it's "OOOOOOOOO, grandmother, what a big mouth you have!!! OOOOOOOOOO, grandmother, what a heart of stone you have!" Ah, don't you just love a holiday that pulls the family together?

After she and Daddy-O had a row last year on X-Mas eve that was somehow my fault, it took us 4 months to speak to each other and now we talk about twice a month on the phone. It was easy when I lived in the Wild West and there were 2000 miles separating us, though sometimes that just wasn't enough. Now that I live in Civilization again, I'm practically in her backyard. Thank the shoe gods that I know the times and location of the nearest shoe stores. And liquor stores. And AA meetings, because living this close to her I'll probably need all three!

So this afternoon while ya'll are sipping eggnog and hugging your loved ones I'll be dodging verbal bullets over my hair, my weight, my lack of permanent job, Mac, and and anything else. Maybe this is the year I could give her the gift of my atheistness? Alright, I'm just kidding because I'm sure it would give my brother Guard a heart attack. My grandmother loves him and his family to pieces, thankfully!, and I just don't want to make them miserable.

I'll be good. And bring my own "water" bottle!

Think anyone would notice if I spiked the eggnog? Oh damn, we never HAVE eggnog!

Happy Merry Christmas Eve!

Tipple to me,
Maggie