Well, don't they think they're funny!

When some of our co-workers asked XRay Girl and I what we were going to do last Thursday night, I said, "We're going out for a little Mexican." XRay Girl winked at me and said, "Well, I saw the hot waiter and he ain't so little. He's taller than you!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

My boss at the ice cream store said she needed to fix me up with a nice man and was thinking about guys she knew. I said I wanted someone literate and who might even love reading. She said, "Well, you're an English teacher. If he can't read, you could teach him!"

++++++++++++++++++++

Quips from Mac while on a trip to the mall

1. The mall has furniture on carpet arranged in conversational groupings. This is a mall that was formerly very scary; it was the "ghetto" mall and pretty unsafe- people were mugged in the parking lot and raped in the bathrooms type of scary and unsafe. Now, it's been cleaned up and is safer. Mac said, "It's nice to see old people comfortable and relaxed enough to fall asleep in the mall furniture. Unless they're dead."
2. We were in the Hallmark store and I was looking for about 5 cards. He was making fun of the fact that I would pick one, read it and put it back- repeatedly. I told him I had to like the picture and the saying BOTH before I would buy a card. Mac said, "Unless there's money in it, no one cares about the card."
3. Regarding mall walkers: "Too damn cheap to get a real gym membership."
4. Regarding mall cops: "Observe and Report was such a better mall cop movie than that stupid Paul Blart thing." A better mall cop movie?!? There's more than one?!?
   
5. About Bath and Body Works: "It all smells the same. Why bother with all the different colors and scents? They all smell the same: like old lady."
6. He ordered a smoothie at Starbucks- he got the Chocolate and banana because it's more manly than the strawberry- banana, though he did say, "With all the protein and fusion powder and estrogen, I'll probably grow boobs from drinking it. And it has an aftertaste like grass. Not marijuana, but lawn."
   

Next time I'm going to the mall all by myself.