You want me to buy what?

"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
"Please don't squeeze the Charmin!"
"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!"
"Have a Coke and a smile."
"My bologna has a first name, is O-S-C-A-R..."
"Honeycomb big, yeah yeah yeah. It's not small, no no no."
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids."
"Mikey'll eat it. He'll eat anything!"
"Calgon take me away!"
"Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan...cuz I'm a woman with Enjoli."

I miss the days when we could sing along with commercial jingles. I miss the days when I could watch a television advertisement and actually understand what was being sold. I'm not a stupid woman but there are times when I watch TV ad and I have no idea what "they" want me to buy.

Mac laughs himself to death because I don't "GET" the AT&T commercial of "Rethink the Impossible" with the Willie Wonka/ Gene Wilder song. I just don't get it. What are they selling? AT&T? I do like the cartoon graphics, but I don't get what I'm supposed to rush out and buy.

I get excited as the next person over the Superbowl ads (so there's about 4 of us) to see what sort of creative, fun commercial is going to catch my eye. And usually I'm very disappointed. Very. I remember the cowboys herding cats but for the life of me I can't remember what was being sold. I remember the ad and it debuted at the Superbowl but that's as far as I can go with the memory- and I refuse to Google it! I also like the revolving/ magic refrigerator of beer. I can't remember much else except for some guys staring at their fridge would spin around and come back with beer. I don't remember the type of beer or why it was spinning- some silly thing- but again, I don't remember. is it because I'm not a beer drinker? Or is it because advertisers aren't doing their jobs or because I'm not the target audience? Or because I just don't care?

I'm sitting here writing this post with the television purposely off, wracking my brain in an effort to think of a single television commercial that's on right now that I like. And I can't come up with a one. Frankly, I'm thinking and can't come up with any commercial at all. I have no idea what McDonald's current tag line is. Are the "ing" and lion/ park bench commercials still on? I don't know Coke's jingle- do they even still sell products on TV any more?

I remember some older Coke ads. The famous "I'd like to teach the world to sing" of course, even though I was a fairly young child when that debuted. I also remember the Diet Coke commercials. I love the Cindy Crawford one with all the guys drooling over her. I love the spoof a few years later, when she was a mom. Were they selling the image that Cindy is still sexy even though she traded in her super modeling for mommy-ing, or were they selling Diet Coke? And I remember the one with all the women looking out the window of an office building at the hot sexy guy and the Diet Coke.

I remember the giant Kool-Aid man ("Oh yeah!") and Tony the Tiger ("They're Greeeeeaaaat!!"). I remember that if I want to be strong I should eat my Wheaties.

I guess this is one of those, I'm getting old, back in the day type of posts. I'm not saying old ads were better. I do know they interested me and even now, I can remember the ad, what was being sold, or I can sing the song. I know that now I have no clue, don't have any desire to buy whatever's being sold, and I couldn't sing a current jingle to save my life- even if there are such things any more. I just know that now, if I watch much television at all, we mute the commercials.

I bet there's a commercial for that...

Maggie

Gratuitous Product Placement

Okay I live 20 minutes from a Goodrich Quality Theater and an AMC Theater, which used to be a Kerasotes. The Goodrich gets my business now. As you all know I'm a huge lover of films (I even have a movie blog!) so this is important to me!

I was a die hard fan of the Kerasotes but since AMC bought them out, the prices- ticket and concession- have sky rocketed and the service sucks. The only thing I like about them now is the way the stadium seating is arranged, and they're about 7 minutes from a Starbucks. Which is something I like more about the town, rather than the theater but still..

I started going to the Goodrich theater when AMC bought out Kerasotes and I am IMPRESSED! First, ticket prices are very reasonable. All student tickets are $5- elementary through college, regardless of age. They do a special that any show on between 4-6 pm is $4 on Monday thru Thursdays for all people. Regular ticket prices are $6.50. All matinees are $5. And they now have a 3D screen!!! The theater I go to is extremely clean and neat. The staff is wonderful and friendly.

The other cool thing about Goodrich is the Frequent Movie Goer Club. I went online and signed up and got a card in the mail a week later. Each time I go to the theater they scan my card and I earn a point per ticket I purchase. Then the points can be redeemed at the concession stand. Three points gets a free 20 ounce beverage, with free refills. Six points get a free popcorn and 20 ounce beverage. And if I don't have enough points to get free stuff, then I get a flat discount rate. A large popcorn and a large soda will only cost me $4 if I use my card, even if I have zero points. So- affordable concessions!!!

Last week at Goodrich, ITSam, Jack, Mac and I went to see a movie and got ticks and food for all over us for $25. One night we wanted to see a movie that wasn't at Goodrich and went to AMC. Mac, ITSam and I paid $19 for tickets!!! If we got popcorn and 2 drinks, the smallest combo, was going to be another $12. Ummm, never again.

I just love going to the movies and I'm thrilled that Goodrich, who has a wonderful user friendly website (as opposed to sucky AMC) will cater to those like me who love to see a movie in the theater and give me a cost break. I go about each week and this is awesome.

Back during the depression, when every business was going belly up and people couldn't afford food, the movie industry was flourishing. People wanted to get away from their dull, sad and dreary depressing lives and they went to the movies for a few hours of escapism. With our current economy, it seems like Goodrich has its head on right and is providing high quality entertainment at an affordable price.

And now back to your regularly scheduled program...
Maggie

Add it to the list of icky sounds

So, yesterday at lunch, I was was sitting with some faculty. Notice, I said I was sitting with them, not having lunch with them. It was all men, they've all known each other for a LONG time so I was just eating near them so I didn't look pathetic sitting at a table alone. AND they did ask me to join them, so I did. But teacher"cliques" is a post for another day.

Oh, and I should also say that the kids at this "prison school" where I'm teaching eat with their house parents and the other kids in their house, each house assigned to one table area. The kids can't mix with other kids. Furthermore, boys and girls are separated. So the cafeteria is gigantic with the north end full of boy tables, the middle with staff and faculty, and the south end full of the girl's tables. And houses can have anywhere from 6-15 kids. So the ratio is about that many kids to two house parents per table.

So I'm sitting there in the middle, when a boy's table, straight across from me, I don't even have to turn my head to see anything, it's right IN FRONT OF ME, has a "situation". What I see is one boy abruptly stand up, with his chair flying out behind him as he yells at another kid sitting across from him, "You fucking want a piece of me?"

Apparently the kid being yelled at, must have made a remark that made the standing kid even more angry because he drew back his fist and PUNCHED the sitting kid in the face.

It made a loud thwacking sound, like punching a watermelon really hard. (Like the dude who used to kick watermelons in the Ginsu knife commercials? You remember that sound?) And sickening flesh upon flesh smacking smushy icky sound. The kid hit him. Really, he just punched him right in the face, reaching over the dinner table full of tray of ribs and scalloped potatoes, he smucked the other boy in the face!! At lunch! Damn heathens.

And know what? Most kids didn't even see it happen, most adults didn't pay attention, the kids at that table scooted back from the table, holding their food trays and eating and watching. Kids at the surrounding tables were watching and still carrying on conversations. The house parents were moving and holding back the hitter and the nurse came over to collect the hitee, who had blood gushing down his face. Did I mention lunch was BBQ rib sandwiches?

I don't think I've heard seen and heard someone hit someone else like that. Or at least make that sort of sound when it happened. And to have a room full of people barely flinch. It's scary to find out what can become "the norm".

Oh, and I didn't finish my lunch,
Maggie

One ruins it for all-- well, more than one!

Brief announcement:

Due to the huge number of spamy, junky, sales-y type comments I'm getting here on my blog, I've turned the comment word verification back on. I know it sucks, but I'm getting about 30 junk comments a day that I have to read through to find the real, legitimate ones that I love to read from real human beings who care. And then I have to click "reject" on each one- grrrr! Many apologies!!

And if the word verification screws up your ability to comment, please let me know! We can figure out a plan B.

Maggie

And this is why some people should not have children

One in four women misread a pregnancy test. I was just watching TV and a commercial for a pregnancy test came on and this is the statistic that started the advertisement. Right there, in big bold letters. (And no, it doesn't say where this data was collected so it could be made up by mad men in advertising for I know. Or care.)

The product is for 2 types of tests. One test prints the word 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant'. And the second test is the one that actually *SPEAKS 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant.'

This could be my PMS talking or me spending too much time with kids who should be sterilized because if they procreated the world is doomed or me just being a bitch, but I think if a woman can't read 1 line to mean pregnant and 2 lines to mean not, and she NEEDS a test that SPEAKS, then that woman should NOT be having children to start with.

And I won't even go on a tangent about the fact that my local Dollar Tree (where everything in the store is $1 or less) sells pregnancy tests for a buck. Uh, no. I'm sure that's 'nuff said, right?

* People exempt from this snarky post are those who are vision impaired.
** And I hope no women were insulted by the views expressed in this post.