Sunday, October 2, 2011

The "How Girlie Are You" Quiz

Last night I went shopping, by accident. I think only a woman would ever do that. I went to Wal-Mart for one thing: silver crackle nail polish. And they were out. I knew the Wally World in the next town over had about 40 bottles of the stuff, so ITSam and I took a brief road trip. The purpose was to get the polish, a cheese danish, a new house key, and then a de-caf Peppermint Mocha with whip from Starbucks.

The plan went awry.

We went the 22 miles to the next town and their Wally World was now out of Crackle, even though 5 nights ago they had about 40 bottles. I was pissed. I drove all that way for nothing. I was no upset I thought I might not be able to enjoy my Starbucks. I wondered back to the keys and found a Pink House Key with a Silver Tiara on it, surrounded by Silver Rhinestones. This was my dream key. And since Daddy-O and I keep locking ourselves out and Booknut has to keep unlocking the house for us, I decided to get a Pink Key cut for me and then hide the boring one.* I paid for my cut dream key** and left, still fuming over the nail polish.

Until I remembered there was a Meijer next door. And I went there. And they had about 40 bottles of Crackle polish, of which I purchased a silver one. And I got ASSORTED mini danishes, which are far superior to those plain cheese kind, AND I got a new travel mug covered in PINK HIGH HEELS!!! So, I accidentally shopped.

ITSam said only a girlie girl could accidentally shop, which led him to say I was such a girlie girl and that I took normal girl things to the next level. Now, I don't think that's quite fair. I'm not THAT girlie girlie, so I wrote and took my own "How Girlie Are you" Quiz, and I determined I'm just a perfect girlie girl. Here, you can take it your own-selves! Pick one answer per number:

1) a-If you've had a man in our own home or in our own apartment building come over for the soul purpose of killing a spider, give yourself 1 point.
b- If you had a man operate a motor vehicle to come over and kill your spider, give yourself 2 points
c- If you moved to get away from the spider, give yourself 3 points

2) a- If shopping is daily exercise, 2 points
b- If shopping is your hobby, 1 point
c- If you can name your favorite QVC hostess's dog's name, give yourself 3 points

3) a- If you have more than four shades of lipstick you wear on a weekly basis, 2 points
b- Less than four shades, 1 point

4) a- If you need to call someone to change your tire, 1 point
b- If you refuse to pump your own gasoline, 2 points

5) a- If you refuse to use a public bathroom unless it's located in a 5 star hotel, restaurant or in an exclusive department store, 2 points
b- If you'll pee indoors anywhere, 1 point
c- if you've used an outhouse or peed outside, subtract 1 point

6) a- if you have 5 or more pairs of shoes that have matching handbags, 2 points
b- if you have less than five, then 1 point
c- give yourself 1 more point if you own at least 10 pairs of shoes or 10 purses, even if they don't match each other! (Heaven forbid!)

7) a- if all of your jeans are designer or your don't own jeans, give yourself 2 points
b- take away a point if you're willing to leave the house in sweatpants

8) a- If you might say something like this "Drinking Water only grows in bottles and is called Evian" then give yourself 2 points
b- If you prefer bottle water but will drink tap water out of an act of desperation, give yourself 1 point

9) a- if you spend more than 20 minutes styling your hair (washing and blow dryer do not count in the allotted time period) each day, 2 points
b- if your hair is a fire hazard due to the amount of product you use, give yourself 3 points
c- if you can't remember your natural hair color, you get 4 points

10) a- if your favorite color is pink, 1 point
b- if you're asked your favorite color and you say a specific shade of pink, 2 points

11) a- if you dog fits in your handbag, you get 2 points
b- if your dog also has a stylist, give yourself 3 points
c- if using the pooper-scooper doesn't freak you out, then subtract 2 points

12) a- if your life long dream is to be Miss America or be on Project Runaway or be besties with Snookie, 2 points
b- if your default TV channel is CNN or the History channel, subtract 1 point

Bonus question: if your biggest problem with the Bill Clinton/ Monica Lewinsky scandal was that she would wear that blue dress in public, give yourself an extra 2 points

Now, add and subtract all your points. Results are as follows:
0-6 points= are you sure you don't have a penis?
7-25= Just Girlie enough!
26 or more= You rival Paris Hilton!

I had 14 points. So, see.... just perfect!

And I can't help it if I accidentally shopped. For nail polish and a shoe coffee mug. Things like that are just bound to happen to us all at some point in life...

pink lipsticky kisses,

* the boring one is silver and nice, but it's a plain silver, albeit sparkly, key.

** The stooopid girl working at the key cut took 2 tries to get it right and when I got home, it didn't work. I marched out to my own local Wally World and got my money back. Then I determinedly headed back to our local key cutter and it was closed for the night- because why would Wally World have someone cutting keys at 10:37pm on a Saturday night, right? The keys were located in the Automotive department, which was closed. Only "closed" meant a sign was set up that said "do not enter." Well, I entered, went to the key rack, found a replacement key, and went up front and paid for it- uncut. I am taking it to the locally owned and operated hardware store to see if they can cut they key in a capable fashion... this will be the third attempt.


booknut said...

I guess I'm a tomboy...not a girlie girl at all.LOL. I got like 2 points! I have left the house in sweatpants and I have NO matching purses and shoes! And only like 3 purses.

Jimmie Earl said...

Hey Booknut: You have a good excuse, though! You have wee ones. What Mom of little tykes has the time to worry about matching purses and shoes? And, if a shirt and jeans don't have "spit-up" on them, they are considered fashionable, right?
Now as for leaving the house in sweats, shame on you!! LOL!

Lilith said...

I got 9 points. Wow, I just barely girly enough. lol

Curley said...

Ok, I got 3 points but I know I'm a girl cause I have boobs and my mommy told me a long time ago the girls have boobs.

sam said...

Hi Maggie,

I don't even have to take the tset! I'm not girly at all!


Maggie said...

booknut- egads! three purses? no matching bags and shoes?!? You left the house in sweatpants?!? I'll rush over with a large does of pink! *wink!*

Lilith- a 9 is good!

Curley- heehee, you said boobs! heehee, Curley said BOOBS!

sam/P- I don't care how girlie you are or not- I love ya anyway!

Gulo said...

I think I failed the test...and I just went a week without a shower! (but it was for work, so not really by choice-- and I did soak in a hotsprings during that time and scrub off a bit)

Maggie said...

Gulo---- a week with now shower? a week? really, like a whole week? Oh my goodness.... I love you but GROSS!!!

The hotsprings sounds nice though. Gulp.