I got the dentist blues....

Regular readers of this blog and fans of "Maggie" as well as my real life friends all know that I am scared to death of the dentist. As in irrational fear of the dentist. There aren't enough words to encompass the dental fears. Intellectually, I have complete control of it-- emotionally I'm a total basket case.

Back in 2009-2010 I had to have a root canal. I was living with Daddy-O then and that experience should open the gates of heaven wide open to him when the time comes. The poor guy went above the parental duties and took me to all my appointments AND also dealt with me before and after each of them. Our friend Curly helped us through with ride alongs and moral support, too. These 2 people love me unconditionally (only God knows why!) and took it all in stride, never once making me feel like an idiot, a fool, silly, a loser, ridiculous. Neither of them got mad at me or told me to "suck it up" or "get it together" or to "stop acting like a baby." They may not have understood the irrational-Maggie-needs-therapy-to-deal-with-the-dentist fear i have but they understood me and, in the words of Vonnegut... so it goes.

Well, I've moved and life is different and I had to have another dental procedure. (Yes, I intellectually I understand if I went to the dentist for regular check-ups/cleanings then I wouldn't have to have surgery every few years. Dental fear outranks irrationality). This started about 8 weeks ago.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD toothache. Shit.

Find a new dentist here in the Capital. I have no insurance so I had to find someone who would take payments, new patients, and who could deal with my hysteria. And well, holy cow, believe it or now, I found such a guy.

I made my first appointment. Mac took me- we knew it was going to be a consult and Mac had the day off so there was no reason for TheGuy to take the day off. It was a get to know the dentist/patient and talk and take a look in my mouth. That appointment went fine. I hyperventilated on the way there, Mac talked me down and I only cried a little in the waiting room. The dentist who specializes in people like me said I would have to have either a root canal ($3000) or have it extracted ($900). Okay, an extraction. We made an appointment for 10 days.

I was feeling pretty okay because the dentist said he would give me a pill the night before to help me sleep, a pill to relax me the morning off and he would give me and IV and knock me out. I wouldn't feel a thing. Okay, I could do this. I was fine. I was going to be out like a light.

TheGuy and I took the day off to take me. Apparently things didn't go according to plan... I took the drugs like I was supposed to but I'm a pretty hard stick so they couldn't give me the IV. I was pretty loopy and I was told- because I remember none of this- that when I saw the needle he was going to give me  a shot in the arm as a different approach I cried and begged to now stick me. Okay, the dentist reasons that he would send me to a dental surgeon who could do a better job.

Remember I'm basically unconscious. I don't remember any of the following. They wheel-chaired me to the car, TheGuy drove across town, picking up Mac from work and dropping him at home since he got done early, took me to the surgeon, had me fill out paperwork and took me to an exam room. The surgeon there said he couldn't do the extraction because of all the drugs I already had AND because he wanted payment up front. TheGuy and I left and he took me home and put me to bed. I woke up at 5PM feeling like a truck has driven over me, then back up and did it again, and I still had the freakin' tooth.  I remember none of that paragraph.

TheGuy was pissed and said i was a baby and should suck it up and I was being ridiculous. I guess I was apparently lippy to him about his ex-wife. I do NOT remember. I have no idea. He was completely pissed and douchebag to me over nothing I remember- I don't even remember now.

So, I still have this infected impacted tooth and I have to get rid of it.

I call my dentist back on Monday. His entire staff was so nice and they said how bad they felt because I was so upset. They were so kind. The doc had a plan. He said he had a friend who is a phlebotomist and she would come in and give me the IV if I wanted to try again. I can't believe they were willing to try again, all things considered. We also agreed no silly pills. I was going to take one Valium before, then I was going to listen to music with noise canceling headphones (I made a dentist play list) and have some nitrous. He would give me an IV if necessary.

Now, who was going to take me? I checked to see how much a cab would be and it was close to $60 from the office to my apartment. Over my dead body was asking TheGuy (it's very telling about him. You know in marriage vows the whole "in sickness and in health" part? He obviously isn't very "sickness". good thing I'm not married to him. This is very serious food for thought, in my opinion.). I sorts of hinted to Daddy-O but didn't come right out and ask. It would've been a lot to ask of him though and I wanted to see if I could come up with my own plan. My Boss said he could pick me up and trust me, I was ready to go that route before I was ready to ask TheGuy... but alas, it turned out that Mac had the day off and he VOLUNTEERED to take me.

So my 21 year old kid who is mostly messed up in his own right, said he would drive me. And he did. My appoint was at 7:30 am and he was up on time and ready to go. He was making silly jokes. He was nice. He got me there and held my hand until I was out like a light. He didn't make fun of my dentist play list I created.  The IV was necessary but Mac was there through it all. He drove me home, picked up my extra prescription, got me in the house and to bed and he stayed with me all day long to make sure I was okay. He made me soup and Jell-O.

I feel icky physically today but I'll live. I got through it. And this time, I'm going to work really hard to go to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning and check up. My new dentist said he'll give me free nitrous for a cleaning if I need it until I get relaxed to have one without. He said it's his goal to turn me into a dental pro. He's a good person. Mac is a good person. I think yesterday he earned some "heaven points."*

So, now I'm just taking it easy today.

Nursing the hole in my head,
Maggie

*An aside---- a while ago my friend Lori and I were talking about crap we did and wished there was a reward system when we had to deal with stupid people or do stuff we didn't want but felt we "had" to do. We figured it was a way to earn "heaven points." We don't have a tight number system more just a catch phrase like... Lori: "I have to chaperon a field trip because the math teacher got the flu and couldn't go at the last minute." Me: "You just earned a ton of heaven points." Her: "no shit."

PS- In the above post I also mentioned that I created a dentist play list. I did. I wanted great music to listen to while this was happening in case I didn't need the IV. Okay, I needed the IV but I had to be ready. I was in a complete conundrum about what to play. First, I didn't want it to be something quiet/soothing/calm because that is all soft music and I was afraid it wouldn't be loud enough to cover the scary dentist tools and tooth pulling sounds. I didn't want head banging stuff that would cause my blood pressure to raise which would then force the nurse to kick my drugs lower and then I might wake up and hear dental scary stuff. So I had to found a blend of happy music that was also pop/rock/loud. Below is a list of music I used as my dentist play list (and my dentist LAUGHED) when he looked at the titles... Google and enjoy yourself:

1. Stacy's Mom- Bowling for Soup
2. Almost- Bowling for Soup
3. Like a Virgin- Madonna
4. Hit Me with Your Best Shot- Pat Benatar
5. Don't Stop Believin'- Journey
6. Material Girl- Madonna
7. Vogue- Madonna
8. Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen
9. Give 'em Hell- American Rejects
10.  Drive By- Train
11. Toucha Toucha Toucha- Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack
12. Note Ready to make Nice- Dixie Chicks
13. Tiny Dancer- Elton John
14. I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
15. Hate Myself for Lovin' You- Joan Jett
16. Hot and Cold- Katy Perry
17. American Woman- Lenny Kravitz
18. Whiskey Girl- Toby Keith
19. Since You've Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
20. You May be Right- Billy Joel
21. The Way you Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson and Brittany Spears
22. Rockstar- Nickelback
23. Hey Soul Sister- train
24. Eye of the Tiger-Survivor
25. We Will Rock You- Queen
26. Little Red Corvette- Prince
27. Mamma Mia- Mamma Mia soundtrack- performed by Abba
28. Stuck in the Middle With You- Steeler's Wheel

Life is a game of "whack-a-mole" & I am the mole

• In the last few days, I had an incident at school with a classroom teacher so I can't go into it here, but it wasn't pretty. I did something that made the teacher mad. I apologized. He made a big deal of it but it backfired and he got his own ass in a sling because everyone found out he wasn't doing HIS job, and I was. Which he's taking out on my special ed. kids, AND me.
  
• The boarder incident was with the aforementioned teacher
• My mouth is still sore from my dental work last week.
  
• Yesterday I was told Mac needs $6,000.00 of dental work done- it's a damn long explanation and a rather gross one, but that's the short version= $6 grand
• I've gained weight.
• Daddy-O just told me to shut up; I sort of deserved that.
• There are black ants the size of golden retrievers living in the dishwasher; don't be a smart ass and just try and drown them because the "clean" dishes end up with ant body parts on them and you have to run the dishwasher again
• Apparently my subscription to Entertainment Weekly wasn't renewed like I thought
  
• The laundry room ceiling leaked all over the clean clothes that were hanging or folded in the laundry basket, requiring me to wash and dry and fold them all. over. again.
• And I haven't had sex in approximately 408 days.
  
• And my check engine light came on.... the check engine light on the car, not on me. The car's check engine light came on, which is never a cheap thing. Oh shit!
  

Random thoughts Friday

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.... my mouth hurts.

So yesterday two girls at school got into a fist fight and both are now one step away from being expelled. They had to "do time" in a juvenile day jail program for a week. If they fight again, they are expelled. Oh, these two girls were fighting over.... their love of a third girl who was going to "have her"- typical love triangle, right? They're 8th graders...

I'm going to try teaching a novel with the last 6 weeks of school. Yes, I am quite possibly, out of my mind. No I've not selected said novel yet--- To Kill A Mockingbird maybe?

I overpaid the dentist. By A LOT! And I wanted my money back. But I have to wait until the office manager cuts me a check next week. Now, I HAD to pay for my services before he even touched my mouth, but now I have to wait more than a week for a $200 refund? Where's the fair in that? TaDa, Bragger or Curley, could one of you strong, kick ass ladies call there and be all strong and kick ass for me please?

Yesterday one boy got expelled and was sent to boy's school because he went home with stolen property from school. The vice principal went with the cops to his house, knocked on the door and the stupid student answered... holding a doobie. Yup, boys school. Idiot. I don't know what happened to the other kid who jumped out the back window into the waiting arms of another cop... I didn't think to ask!

Mac is going to the prom on Saturday night and I gave him a chore list that involves getting a haircut, washing and waxing the car, changing my CDs to his, picking up the corsage and his tux, and "finding the funky smell" in the car. Uh-huh. Things you never want to say...

Is wrong to borrow a movie from one of my students who illegally downloaded it from the 'net? For me to just watch in the privacy of my home? Am I breaking the law?

There's a guy I like. He lives away. I miss (and like) him. I think I miss (and like) him more than he misses (likes) me. Does that matter?

I'm helping Daddy-O learn all about Medicare. When the heck did the government start charging people for this? And I think someone should hire me to explain Medicare because it's not as complicated as they want you to think. I think. Though I could be confused. If anyone has any advice, it's welcome.

I love it that I a friend who calls me and asks me to help her with her homework because, and I quote, "You're my only smart friend."

At last, it's Friday.... TGIF!!!!!!
Mags

On another note...

If you're reading this....

then I just didn't feel like blogging yet. I did some pre-blog planning.

I had my dental surgery yesterday so Monday night I wrote this blog post and scheduled it to post. I figured if I felt like blogging, I would. If something happened to me, Curley has strict instructions to blog that... well, that something happened to me. But if I was fine but didn't want to write, then this would publish.

And since this did publish, then you can assume I am fine, but am in pain, tired, sore, out of sorts and just plain don't feel like sitting down and writing when I feel like this.

Back to regularly scheduled plans tomorrow- then I can give the bare bones details of my surgery. Very bare bones. Oh hell, all I'll probably do is kvetch and whine!

And if you have a need to read something I wrote, then visit my current book state of mind here.

The un-blog post poster,
Mags

Dentist drama meme

Today is the day of the big dental surgery. The wisdom teeth are coming out and some other stuff. So... I can't think straight or concentrate....... that means a meme. Thank you to Evil Pixie for this one! (Though she admitted she stole it from Stealing Sunday, so.......)

Never in my life have I been: So unsettled about my future.

The one person who can drive me nuts is: Mac. I love him more than life itself, but on the flip side, he drives me NUTS.

High school was: Horrid.

When I’m nervous I: get quiet.

The last song I listened to was: “Turn Me On" by Norah Jones

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Would depend where I was when I got married and the cost of travel and such!

My hair is: auburn with gray

When I was 5: Life was so simple, I don’t remember what it was like when I was 5.

Last Christmas: Was nice.

I should be..: employed with health insurance and a pension and the ability to travel...

When I look down I see: gold- Daddy-O's couch!

The happiest recent event was: relaxing on spring break.

If I were a character on 'Friends' I would be: Probably a blend of Phoebe and Rachel

By this time next year: anything could happen... let's throw caution to the wind and say I'm traveling abroad!

My current gripe is: Not enough money!

I have a hard time understanding: men

There’s this girl I know that: confuses me. She knows what it's like to successful and she knows what it's like to be a failure. Why does she want to revert back to failure? And why can't I help her see the value of her successes and hard work?

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: anyone who heard me shouting it from the rooftops... then my fam & then bloggerville

Take my advice: life is full of surprises and be ready for 'em!

The thing I want to buy: costs money I don't have.

If you visited the place I was born: You’ll see some lovely historic homes.

I plan to visit: A lot of places! Back to the UK first, then on to the rest of western Europe with special attention paid to Italy (can we say Venice anyone? What a wonderful place for a honeymoon or a romantic trip...), and then off to sights closer to home in the US, parts of Canada like Nova Scotia and then Whistler... and parts of Africa and I must go to New Zealand and Australia... and well, that's a start.

If you spent the night at my house: You’ll have to join the party in the attic with Mac and me!.

I’d stop my wedding if: I found my man was a lyin', cheatin', stinkin' SOB.

The world could do without: Republicans. Or 7th graders.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: uhhhhhh, that's so gross I can't come up with something off the top of my head. Who thought of this? Sheesh!

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: a hamburger

Most recent thing someone else bought me: cute shoes! (Thank you Curley!)

My favorite blonde is: Charize Theron

My favorite brunette is: Johnny Depp- duh- hello!

My favorite red head is: Scarlett Johansson (she was a red head in something I saw)

My middle name is: Mae (at least it is here in blog-land)

In the morning I: Am not a morning person but with age I've gotten much more... personable, I guess.

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: pigs. Everyone says "when pigs fly" so just once I would like to look out the window and be all, "yep, they are. Now gimme the money" or something like that.

Once, at a bar: I drank, played pool and hung out. In all honesty, I've done 2 embarrassing things in all the times I've been to bars. (I am not counting the number of times I sang karaoke badly in the 2...)

Last night I was: unable to fall asleep easily. I have waaaaaaaaay to much crap renting space in my head right now!

There’s this guy I know who: is special.

If I was an animal I’d be: a horse.

A better name for me would be: My name fits me pretty well, I'd say.

Tomorrow I am: going to the dentist.

Tonight I am: Probably going to stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep.

My birthday is: September 26

Well, now, doesn't that just suck?

• Mac is sick. He has bronchitis and tonsillitis (no strep according to the test!). He had to miss school today and will again tomorrow. He's been nursing a sore throat since Thursday night but we thought it was part of stressing his voice for the play; guess NOT! And no matter how old my kid is, or how big he is, when he looks at me and says, "Mommy, I hurt" it just KILLS me!
• The Pizza Hut Sam is MARRIED! Cross him off the list. Not that there's a list or anything, but if there were a list, he would be crossed off of it.
• I am sick as well. Believe it or not, it doesn't seem to be teeth nor lump-in-throat related. I have a virus. And because I have a common cold virus I am no longer scheduled for oral surgery in the morning. It's been postponed until April 13. Great! (<-- see sarcasm?)

Maggie

On another note....................

Housekeeping!

I finally got a new computer cord so now my blogging life and computer life are back to normal. I can once again sit on the couch and read blogs and write and all that stuff. So, for those of you who wondered why I stopped reading (and commenting) I worked last night to try and catch up and will do some tonight and over the weekend, hoping to get up to speed on your lives, so that I am technologically reconnected again to the www. Thanks to Daddy-O and Curley for getting me the cord, and to King of the Computers, the Nerd I love Most, for figuring out the dang problem to start with!

Speaking of blogging, I have no idea what shape I'll be in to blog come next Tuesday since that's when I'm having my wisdom teeth removed. And if they're so smart, why does everyone want them gone? Hmmmmmmmmmm?

No word from AlaskaSam on when, where or if we're going to meet for a holiday. Figures, and par for the course in life with (and without) him.

Not counting today, we have 6 more school days until Spring Break. I am SO ready! Daddy-O is going away and I plan on staying home and sleeping in and being a worthless layabout for as many hours as possible, when I'm not having girl's time out!

I also want to take this time to shout out a huge HELLO DARLINGS to all my new followers. Holy Moly- I have 60! Look at me go. That's cool. Thanks for following and reading and commenting! (hint hint!) Welcome! I might do another give away when I hit 100!

Mac's opening night of Alice in Wonderland is tonight as he debuts as the Mad Hatter. Send happy thoughts his way, please! And I'll try to post pictures over the weekend!

I also want to shout out a HUGE thank you to Wiley. About a million weeks ago this girl sent me chocolate cookies and a fountain pen in the mail. All the way from Australia! OMG- chocolate cookies with chocolate creme in them covered in chocolate. They're Tim-Tams and are just about the best cookie in the world (next to Mallomars). She sent these over an ocean because I commented on her blog that they sounded good. And this is an amazing fountain pen, and I love the way it writes. I cannot believe that all this time past and I never said anything! I suck. So I'm sorry Wiley, for taking so long to publicly thank you, but THANK YOU. Those cookies were freaking awesome. Mac stole one and almost lost a limb. Thank you so much- you rock!

I also want to say another thank you to my BFF in the Wild West. She sent me a Christmas present. Around, ya know, Christmas, and I just found a post buried in my archives with a picture of the cutest silver purse key chain. I LOVE this! She also made homemade camels but those didn't last long enough to be photographed. I'm not kidding about that! Thanks, Gulo! And you were a beautiful bride; I love that picture of you!

Here's the material for my dresses. The flowered pink one is a cotton from the wonderful line a fabrics called Tutti-Fruiti. The other is a silky material that is wild! Love these and will show off the finish products!

Just another Thursday,
Maggie

Ya ever have one of those weeks? And Friday hasn't really even started yet!

Mild Monday
Good day at school, even better when I got home because I went with Daddy-O shopping and then to hang with Curley for a few hours! It rocked!

Terrible Tuesday
The day started with a meeting of all "none certified staff"- this means all the folks who are not teachers. We were all told hours were being cut. And while that didn't affect me, I was basically told that I won't have a job next year because the grant money to pay me will be gone. So, come June 2, I am officially unemployed-again.

Otherwise, it was a good day at school- yeah, I know- two in a row? Who knew?

It was AFTER school where the first problem hit. First, I had to have a parent teacher conference, and I was the parent. Apparently, according to Mac's Step-monster, he got in a fight with his science teacher, cussed her, pushed her and threw a desk at her. In REALITY, what really happened was that he yelled at her, and cussed in FRONT of her. He never pushed her nor did he ever throw a desk. His step-monster is an over-dramatic, pot stirring, bitch from hell.

Anyway, I went to meet with the principal who first set me straight on what happened. Then he said he met with Mac ans since this behavior was COMPLETELY out of character for him, he was told he had to apologize and meet with the school counselor. BUT if he got in trouble again, he would automatically start at the 3rd disciple level. Then I had to meet with the counselor and filled him in on his sperm donor's supreme asshatness as a father and the super bitchiness of the step-monster. The counselor said he would meet with Mac once a week for the rest of the school year, that I had to pay $47 for SAT fees, Mac is a good kid who needs to apply himself and if he doesn't, the the law school Mac wants to attend won't even take him. Ummmm, okay- please hit me with all the bad news at one time.

I went home and had a long "Come to Jesus" meeting with Mac, so I think we have the situation in hand, and he lives to breath another day. And the swearing? he told the science teacher that "just because I took a dumbass science class doesn't mean you should treat me like a dumbass." Yes, world, he wants to be a lawyer. Judges don't call attorney's mommies to court to reprimand them, right?

Tuesday I also found out my computer was dead and I had to buy a new one.

Tuesday wasn't totally horrible because XRayGirl and I did see a movie and have an uber-cheap dinner.

Wastoid Wednesday
School was okay. I made it through the day and didn't lose my mind, so I consider it all good.

I went to the library and got some good books, and even had a sweet tea from Mickey D's.

I had a few hours home alone and instead of doing anything productive like housework, laundry or read, I was a complete worthless layabout on the couch and worried about going to the dentist, the cost of a new computer, Mac, the cost of prom, getting Mac a car, finding a full time job, no health insurance, being fat, wanting to drink, being lonely, and pretty much all other weights of the world I piled on me.

But hey, I had some alone time!

Thankful Thursday
School was fine. I am sick of poetry. I am sick of teaching. I am sick of students, as well as people in general. 'Nuff said, right? I'm tired of the politics and just in general stupid stuff that happens when you work in a public school.

I also went to the dentist. Okay, I know this is weird but I AM thankful for this because I got my teeth cleaned and they feel all shiny and new and pretty and smooth. I also got my new crown on, and it FIT! Though my gums are sore and my mouth is achy, it was good to have it all work right and be done. A further plus: I have no cavities. So when I get my 2 wisdom teeth pulled, I am done until I have a 6 month check up and cleaning. Thank you!

I also went out to supper for my favorite pub in my college town with Daddy-O. Dinner was great, as was the company- thanks father!

And the big news was that my computer wasn't really dead after all! One more big whoot-whoot to Curley's son! Love me that boy- he's my hero!

So all and all, this has been my work week, so I am more than excited about today being TGIF!

I need a weekend so badly. That's right, I NEED a weekend!

Hope your Fridays are delicious, too!
Mags

Updates on... pretty much everything

Pizza Guy
No word on the pizza guy. I've been to the pizza place and he's never there. Curley knows someone who knows someone who works there and is going to see what she can find out.

Penis-mobile
I finally talked to Buddy 2's mom and she was rude. Yeah, like she has any room to be rude to me! Anyway, she said she will pay for the damage. So now I have to go get quotes. This is a pain in the ass. I'm tempted to leave the damn penis on there and keep the money since she was a bitch. I'm sorry, but she was. And do you know she not once apologized for her kid. Had it been in reversal I would've apologized up a storm. Oh well.

Mac
He's either going to sing "I'm Yours" or "21 Guns" at the Spring Choral concert. However!!!! He wondered what would happen if he did "I kissed a Girl" (Kat Perry) in drag.... I promise a video clip of WHATEVER he does!!!!!

AlaskaSam
No word on whether Vegas is gonna happen. He told me to "sit tight and hang on". This can mean 3 things: no trip will happen, we're going to do something better which will knock my socks off, or.... to sit tight and hang on while he arranges stuff. Men!

Dentist:
I went to get my crown and it didn't fit so I have another temporary crown and will go back to get the "real"- hopefully- on March 18. And I am getting my teeth cleaned then. I went to the oral surgeon who thinks he's Mr. Cool and is not not, by the way. he worse gold chains and had a fake bake tan. ICKY! Be that as it may, I'm having TWO wisdom teeth pulled on March 30.

And that's all the news that's fit (or not so fit) to print!

Mags

Still a queen without my crown

I went back to the dentist today to get the temporary crown removed and the permanent one put on. The dentist told me it would be easy-peasy and take about 15 minutes. About 45 minutes later I was getting fit again for another crown because this one didn't fit. She sanded and smoothed and jiggled and nada. She said this happens about twice a year.... and she apologized over and over again that it was to me. So I have another temporary crown and have to go back in 2 weeks to try again.

Thankfully this was no additional charge to me!

On top of going back for the 'coronation' I'll finally get my teeth cleaned.

Oh, and did I mention I have to see a second oral surgeon on Monday for a consult? He's going to do surgery to remove my wisdom teeth, including one that is BROKEN. So in the next 2-3 weeks I'll be crowned, cleaned, and cut (okay I was going for the C alliteration, so Kill me...). All by the dentist. I am not a happy camper.

Wonder if the dentist can write a prescription for Xanax?

And because the dentist ran so late, I didn't get to the bank before it closed.

Do you ever just have one of those damn days?

Grumpy dwarf,
Maggie

*sign up for my giveaway, if you want!

D Day II: I think I've mentioned how much I hate going to the dentist?

I had to go back to the dentist last Friday to be fit for a crown and get a temporary crown after the huge root canal surgery. Everyone I know, first, has been super supportive over my dental drama and about my fears. (Thanks you!) I also like the fact that it's called a crown... though I would prefer the term "tiara"... my dentist thought that was hilarious!

And everyone I know who has ever had a crown put on told me getting fit for said crown is as easy as pie. No need to worry because it doesn't hurt, it's a super short visit, no pain, no reason to get a shot in the mouth, just a really simple thing.

So I about had a heart attack in the dentist chair when she said I would need to be numb for what she had to do. I think I had a REAL panic attack: black spots before my eyes, chest pains, hyperventilating breathing, sweaty palms... but I didn't cry this time.

After I finally got calmed down, I explained what everyone had been telling me and then asked in a nice, terrified, meek voice why I had to be different. Because. Well, there was more to it than that, but the easy reason is 'because.'

The harder reason is that since my dentist didn't do the actual root canal, another dental surgeon did, she had to do some stuff that she would normally do if she had to perform the root canal herself. The specialist guy just did the root canal and then filled my tooth with sterile cotton and a temporary putty stuff. MY dentist had to take out all the stuff he did, fill it herself, smooth down the filling, then make the mold for my tooth and then put the temporary crown on. Apparently, somewhere in there, something was going to hurt.

My dentist is an awesome woman so we talked this through and finally decided that she would use topical numbing stuff and if I was uncomfortable or in pain she could actually give me a numbing shot. So she would work on me and then numb me with topical and then work and numb, etc. I didn't move a muscle because she was working near the gum line and that's apparently where the pain would be.

So, the miracle of all miracles is that I got through the entire procedure without crying (panic attack not withstanding) and without having to get a shot in the mouth. She told me she was really proud of me and I was so much better than I was the last time. The dentist herself promised the next time I went back to get the real crown, it would be about a 20 minute visit and a piece of cake. She said it should NOT hurt; it might be uncomfortable. She also said NO SHOTS, and she promised.

Then I went to pay and the panic attack happened again and...

Mags, conquering fear through dentistry...

the first dentist story

I have decided the up side of the dentist is that he gives good drugs. I loved the nitrous oxide. I haven't been high like that in YEARS and this was far better than any weed I ever smoked way back in the day.

Now that being said, one procedure down and several more to go. Curley went with me for moral support (thank you so very much!!!!!) and Mac drove us so it was nice to have my support system there.

I took a Xanax a few minutes before I got there but I'm not sure it helped. The dentist was very nice and kind. I know he gave 5 injections of Novocaine but I had my eyes shut so I didn't see anything. He just told me later. I also listened to my iPod to block most of the noise.

Afterward, I was pretty out of it and by the time we got home I took a Vicodin and went to bed. On the ride home I dozed a bit, and Mac made fun of me since I was so numb; he wanted me to say words with lots of "R"s in them since I was numb and sounded funny. Or he at least thought it was funny.

After a nap I just was resting around the house. My mouth is pretty sore and hurts but I took some Motrin and it takes the edge off.

So, all in all, I did survive, and I'm headed back to school tomorrow. Gotta save those sick days for the next couple dental procedures.

I just feel icky and achy, but okay.

Thanks for all the good thoughts, happy wishes, positive energy, and prayers! Ya'll rock!

Maggie Mae

PS- and I'll be doing some catching up on blog reading this weekend. I'm sorry I haven't been around this week; it's been a long and stressful this week.

D- Day

Today I go to the dentist for my first mouth surgery thingy. I'll update more later when I can be calm enough to type. I'm scared. Please, please, please think happy thoughts for me at 10am EST.

*Gulp*
Maggie

Nothing worse than a toothache

I broke a tooth awhile ago and then the whole side of my mouth started hurting AND then this week it swelled up. And have been dragging my feet about having it all fixed. I hate to go to the dentist. It scares me to death. Seriously, scares me more than just about anything I can think of. That's why it's been years since I've gone. I had a bad experience as a child, and I just hate going.

I'm not going into my horror stories because 1) if you hate to go to the dentist I don't want to feed your fears either; and, 2) I don't want to hear your horror dental stories to make my fears worse.

Of course, it hurts like hell so I had an emergency dentist appointment. Mac said he would take me since, he said, "I was his responsibility." He was brave and strong for me, even though his mother was a wuss and was on the verge of tears and my hands shook like I was going through withdrawals. At age 38 I still cry when I go. Even when my rational intelligent brain works I still cannot over come the fear. But he did use his own money to take me to breakfast afterward since I was brave and didn't cry.

So I went to the dentist on Friday. (What a crappy way to spend the snow day, BTW. )

Well, I survived. But, I will be going back many times in the future. But my dentist today, a new one since I haven't gone since I moved back here, is super nice and she was so kind and gentle. Her nurse was also amazing and she knows I had dentalphobia (Curley made my appointment for me since I was so upset I couldn't even talk on the phone and she warned them I was almost hysterical). The nurse held my hand and explained everything that was going to happen today, took my x-rays and did the pre-exams. Then she gave me a hug. i met with the dentist who read the x-ray, explained everything and looked at my mouth too.

I have an infection due to a tooth with "issues" inside the tooth and it's not even the broken one! That tooth is going to have a root canal next Thursday and I have to see a specialist to do that who is going to sedate me for the procedure. Then I have to go back to my dentist (Dr Nice Person) and she'll put a crown on it. The broken tooth is a wisdom tooth and in 2 weeks I'll be seeing a dental surgeon who will be doing an extraction while I am also under sedation. I have a prescription to clear up the infection and she gave me Vicodin. It's going to be a long two weeks- prepare for whining.

It is also going to be expensive. I have no dental insurance so after all the stuff that's going to happen it'll cost me about $2500. That so sucks. I know I'll feel better and I have been freaked out about this for a long time so I know mentally I'll feel better as well as physically and mouth-wise, too. But my wallet is going to take a smack, for sure. My own fault, I know, but it still hurts in so many ways. This is going to just kill my tax return plus some; so much for going back to Europe this summer, damn it.

So there you have it. My dental experience, part 1. I probably won't blog on Thursday unless I do it before hand. And I won't be sharing my horror stories because it will be gross, and because I don't want to hear anyone else's. Send good thoughts to me, please. Even if I don't deserve them.

Chicken little,
Maggie